


sunshine

by sungiegoose



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Boys In Love, Fluff, Getting Together, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Han Jisung | Han is a Sweetheart, Humor, Hwang Hyunjin & Kim Seungmin are Best Friends, Hwang Hyunjin is a Sweetheart, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Shy Hwang Hyunjin, Social Anxiety, Swearing, only 3racha is famous
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:28:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 77,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21866758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sungiegoose/pseuds/sungiegoose
Summary: “Him, huh? That’s what gets you going?”“Felix, shut the fuck up.”“Hyunjin. Hwang Hyunjin.”“His name is pretty too.”--Jisung was just trying to ask Felix for help on 3RACHA's new track. He didn't think he'd meet a really pretty dancer and he didn't expect to exchange numbers and become best friends, but here they are.Can Jisung overcome his anxiety and past trauma to let Hyunjin in?
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Bang Chan/Matthew Kim | BM, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 87
Kudos: 431





	1. the two types of heart-racing

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So, this is the first chapter of the series I'll be writing! I really hope you'll enjoy it and I hope you'll look forward to the next part too!
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> Also, in this fic, Jisung has anxiety BUT that is not me diagnosing the real life Han Jisung: all added personality/character traits are purely for the sake of this work of fiction.

Another day, another chance to trip down the stairs and die.

Jisung sighs and steps out of his apartment, quickly locking the door before he runs down the stairs with one hand ghosting the railing. He lands at the bottom with a weak thud, a noise worthy of his small frame, and begins his bouncy steps to campus. It’s his first time visiting the university but Chris insisted that he find Felix and ask him for help on their new track. 

Just the idea of being in such a foreign place all by himself is increasing his heart rate by at least ten percent. 

Luckily, he doesn’t live too far since the apartment buildings by the school were safer to live in than those further away and he arrives at the edge of the school in fifteen minutes. With a quick look around, Jisung decides to text Felix for his location. 

Squirrel-boy: hey where should I meet you?

Lix: the third dance room in the fine arts building 

Squirrel-boy: oh yes I totally know that one

Lix: okay that sass? 

Lix: put it in your pocket.

Lix: where are you right now?

Squirrel-boy: dude I don’t know I think it’s the union

Lix: you know what? I’m sending Minho to get you just stay there

Squirrel-boy: yeah fine

Jisung pockets his phone and takes another look around. He doesn’t like being alone here. He doesn’t like how many strangers there are. He really doesn’t like that Minho is coming to get him because that guy does not know how to keep his hands to himself. Jisung and Minho have a complicated relationship. At one point, Jisung thought he was in love with him. They never dated, just flirted A LOT and it turned out that Jisung just didn’t feel the way he thought he did. Minho wasn’t ever mad and never changed how he acted but it just feels wrong to receive the same attention after rejecting him like that. It hurts a little bit because he feels like he’s taking advantage of the other's feelings. He really likes Minho and he doesn’t ever want to hurt him. 

Before he can truly spiral, the wind gets knocked out of him by arms around his waist and a body colliding with his.

“Jisung!! Hi!!” 

“Hey! You’re suffocating me.” His voice is more a wheeze than anything else.

“Oops, my b.” Minho lets go and steps to the side, “shall we?” 

They walk side by side, Jisung staring at everything in his path, “you got here quick.” 

“Yeah, it’s really not that far away but some people are just too dumb to handle that, I guess.” Minho's shrug is interrupted by the hand Jisung forces into his shoulder. “Turn here.” 

A few more turns and a flight of stairs later, they arrive at the door to dance room 4419. Jisung stares for a moment; he’s never been in here before. He takes a steadying breath and turns the knob, walking in with Minho hanging off his shoulder. He immediately scans the room, finding that the only people in there are Felix and a tall boy with dark hair who doesn’t seem to hear them and keeps practicing by himself. Jisung runs to the freckled boy, jumping into his arms and receiving a little spin. 

“Hey Ji! Glad you got here safe.” There’s a smirk on his face but no edge to his voice. Jisung gives him a squeeze. 

“Yeah yeah, I wouldn’t tease me so much if I were- is he okay?” Felix follows Jisung’s finger to the tall boy who was now curled up in a ball by the mirror, his hands over his head. 

“Oh yeah, he gets like that when he messes up too many times in a row.” 

“How long has he been at it?”

“Um..since like noon?” 

“Dude, it’s 5PM, what the fuck?” Jisung stares as the boy stands and he sees his face for the first time. It’s…wow. He’s beautiful. Like gorgeous. He’s pretty too, if that even makes sense. Jisung feels his heart racing for an entirely new reason. Felix notices and nudges him exaggeratedly as they sit at the other corner of the room.

“Him, huh? That’s what gets you going?” 

“Felix, shut the fuck up.” 

“Hyunjin. Hwang Hyunjin.” 

“His name is pretty too.” It comes out before Jisung can catch himself and Felix’s evil grin grows. 

“Yah! Hyung!” The Aussie waves his arms like crazy but fails in catching the dancer’s attention.

“Hyung?”

“Same year but like 6 months older. A whole grade ahead.” Jisung nods along. 

Both boys are staring now, watching Hyunjin move effortlessly across the floor and the fluttering in Jisung's chest only intensifies. The older boy rolls his body, bringing his head around and locking eyes with the rapper for the first time, both of them stop. Jisung feels his cheeks heating up as he sees Hyunjin’s redden and somehow remembers his manners. He gives a slight bow which Hyunjin returns to him without ever breaking eye contact. Jisung still can’t bring himself to look away, he wants to memorize every part of his face before he never sees him again. But then he’s walking over and the butterflies in his stomach go from flustered to anxious in the few seconds it takes the pretty boy to walk over and squat in front of the (almost) birthday twins. 

Shit. 

He’s even prettier up close.

“Hey, I’m Hyunjin.” His voice is gentle and soft, Jisung feels as though he can melt right then and there. 

“I’m Jisung… Han Jisung.” His voice comes out choked. 

“Do you dance here during crazy hours or are you new?” He pauses and rakes his eyes down Jisung's body. Jisung likes it, a fire spreading through his body even after the other boy keeps talking. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.” 

“Neither, actually, I’m not a student. I just came to ask Felix for a favor.” Jisung gestures to his friend but his eyes never leave Hyunjin. 

“Oh yeah!! What is it that you wanted to ask me??” The blonde chimes in with a startlingly loud voice and Jisung jumps slightly, hoping nobody noticed but there’s no way Hyunjin didn’t. He’s watching way too closely to miss it. 

“Well, this actually comes from Chris,” He turns to Felix, “he- we were thinking that maybe it’d be cool for you to donate your voice to our new track.” 

The other boy practically explodes and grabs Jisung excitedly, squeezing him. “Yes!! But wait, oh my god, you guys rap, I’m not fluent enough, oh my god, I would ruin it-" 

“Lixie, please, calm down.” He grabs Felix's shoulders and rubs up and down his arms, “it’s just a few adlibs, you know we wouldn’t ask anything of you that you couldn’t handle.” 

“adlibs?” 

“Yeah, you know, like “hey!” and stuff like that." 

He relaxes tenfold, “Okay, yes, I’m really excited.” 

“You make music?” Hyunjin voice is quiet but it stands out with perfect clarity.

“Oh! Yeah, with two of my other friends.” He puts his hand up as a barrier between the two younger boys to fake secrecy, “one is Felix’s boyfriend.” 

That earns him a playful slap. 

“What kind of music do you make? What are you called?” 

“We’re called 3RACHA, we make music for healing and comfort. You know, to support and encourage listeners.” Jisung loves talking about his music, “Although some of it is just for fun and more of the typical hype music you’d expect from a rap trio. Those are more of Chris and Changbin's works though.” 

“Where can I listen?” 

“YouTube or Soundcloud.” He stares at the mole under Hyunjin’s left eye and feels himself becoming fond of his every little detail. “Are you really gonna check it out?” 

As if to prove himself, Hyunjin pulls his phone out from his pocket and pulls up 3RACHA’s Channel, making a show of him subscribing for Jisung to see. It brings a smile to the smaller boy's face and it grows as he see the crinkling of Hyunjin's eyes from his own smile. 

Felix fakes a cough and Jisung could choke him. He tells him so, too.

“Ooh, daddy, yes please.” 

“Oh my god, Felix, I hate your kinky ass.” 

“You don’t actually call Changbin “daddy" do you?” Hyunjin chimes in with an adorable look of disbelief painted on his face. 

“You’re saying you wouldn’t?” Felix raises a brow.

Jisung scoffs, “Boy, I’d call Minho “daddy" before I’d call Changbin “daddy”. So…never times two.”

“Lies! Admit the truth, coward!” Felix points right in Jisung’s face.

“Nah, he’s not daddy material.” Jisung shakes his head, sharing a look with Hyunjin.

“Oh, then who is?” The cute boy catches their eye contact, “Hyunjin?” 

Both boys start and their cheeks become impossibly red but before either of them can let out their strings of incoherent denial, Minho comes back into the room with a juice for Jisung. He walks over quietly, handing the juice off with no words exchanged then slides himself against Jisung from behind. He adjusts them until Minho's legs are framing Jisung as he leans against his back. 

“I heard "daddy”; you guys are talking about me?” Minho’s voice is perfectly sweet and his words make Jisung choke on the juice. 

“Ew, never say that to me again.” Jisung hits his chin with his shoulder, making the older boy sit up to avoid another attack. 

Hyunjin watches them closely and Jisung feels the need to explain his position. He doesn’t want Hyunjin to think that he and Minho are together. He starts feeling a bit nervous and he guesses that his breathing must have picked up because Minho rests a hand on his shoulder and pulls him a little.

“You in there?” 

“Yeah, sorry.” Jisung clears his throat, “so…let me know what you think of our music, please.” He makes sure to lock eyes with the pretty boy in front of him. “I hope you like it. Some of it, at least.” 

“How will I let you know?” There’s another question wrapped up in that one, a question being asked by Hyunjin’s entire demeanor rather than his mouth. 

“Get my number?” 

“Yes.” In a second, the boy is sliding his phone into Jisung’s hand, unlocked and opened on the new contact screen. He quickly types in his phone number, figuring that Hyunjin will want to pick a contact name that will help him remember who he is. Like the nosy boy he is, he peeks at the device as the name is being put in. 

‘Sungie’ 

His heart keeps beating like it’s trying to beat its all-time record. He diverts his eyes before Hyunjin can catch him looking and smiles at Felix. 

“When should I go over to record?” He asks slowly, more confused with the pronunciation of “record" than he might want to let on. Jisung finds it cute. 

“Can you come to the studio with me right now?” Chris and Changbin are waiting for them but he won’t tell him that part. Yet. 

“Like right now right now? Like we stand up and walk to your studio right now?” His eyes are wide. 

“Yeah, man, can you?” 

“I don’t know.” He chews on his bottom lip, “can I?” he looks at the two older boys, batting his eyelashes at double the speed. 

The older dancers very obviously melt at his cuteness, “Yes, okay.” Minho helps Jisung up and Jisung extends his hand to Hyunjin who takes it with a small smile on his lips. 

“We’ll be seeing you guys real soon, then.” Felix smiles and takes Jisung’s hand, pulling him to the door. The rapper turns his head and shoots a smile at Hyunjin, he waves a little.

“Text me, Hyunjin-ah.”


	2. we love clichés

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1800stanskz: please tell me you’re J.One
> 
> Sungie: please tell me you’re not a stalker fan
> 
> 1800stanskz: I could be ;) 
> 
> Sungie: hyunjin ew stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I know this chapter took a while but I had a bit of writer's block. This chapter was written over a period of days and I just really hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Again: all character traits are purely fictional and I am NOT diagnosing Han Jisung with anxiety nor am I accusing any Stray Kids member of possessing any trait in this story. Pure fiction. Also Felix is referred to as Chris's brother but they aren't blood related. Thank you! :) ♡

Felix loses it as soon as the door closes behind the two boys, erupting into giggles as he pushes Jisung with his small hands. 

“I can’t believe you!!” Another few slaps and it’s starting to hurt, “did you really just flirt with Hyunjin like that?” 

“I guess, I don’t know- oh my god." His eyes widen with the weight of what he just did, “why did I do that?” He reaches for Felix’s hand and squeezes it, beginning a pattern of squeezes to help settle the rapid beating of his heart. 

It isn’t really helping.

“Ji, it’s okay, he was obviously into it.” Felix squeezes back and it brings a smile to Jisung's face, “Like, come on, didn’t you see his face when Minho came in and held you like that?” 

Jisung’s eyes widen, “I know! That whore! I panicked because I was comfy but I didn’t want Hyunjin to think that Minho and I had something going on but then I didn’t wanna move either because Minho and I are just like that with each other and I wouldn’t wanna push him away just because of a cute boy and-"

“Wait.” The seriousness of the other boy’s tone makes Jisung’s heart skip.

“What?” He checks; they’re still walking and holding hands. Did Felix forget something?

“You said Hyunjin was a cute boy.” 

“Well yeah, he’s cute, everyone knows that.” 

“Okay sure but you don’t tend to say that for the sake of fitting in.” 

“But maybe I am, Lix.” The smaller boy tries, wishing that his friend would at least p r e t e n d to be a normal human for one second and leave his crush on Hyunjin alone.

“You like him.” 

“I just met him, he could be the worst, for all I know.” He chooses to leave out the fact that he’s already giving him the benefit of the doubt. Come on, no one who speaks that softly in conversation could be a bad person. It’s just not possible. 

“Okay okay, you’re interested in him.” There’s a pause as Jisung considers all the ways he can deflect until Felix continues, “In a romantic way.” 

“Count me in with the rest of the world.” 

“Oh right, because Han Jisung is just like everyone else, of course.” 

“Felix-"

“I know it’s hard for you to believe but other people don’t see you the way you see yourself. You’re talented and funny and the cutest person ever. You’re so smart and you’re such a great person. I could go on for hours, seriously.” 

“Lixie, please stop.” But his cheeks are red and he can’t stop smiling. 

“Have some confidence! Hyunjin was openly staring at you.” 

“Okay, please, let’s just go inside.” Felix switches his eyes from Jisung and visibly jumps when his eyes land on the door to the small studio 3RACHA uses. 

“When did we get here?!” His eyes are comically wide as he blinks at the closed door without moving. 

Rather than responding, the rapper steps forward and pulls the door open, gesturing for Felix to walk in first. He follows and hears Changbin before he sees him. 

“Finally! It took you long enough Ji!”

They step into the studio and Changbin immediately jumps out of his seat to wrap Felix in a tight hug, his arms curling around his waist. Jisung tries locking eyes with Chris but he’s watching the couple with a million stars in his eyes so Jisung opts for sitting down in his usual seat until one of his hyungs decides to acknowledge him. He pulls his notebook out and opens it to the song they're currently working on, one they decided to name ‘For You'. He personally loves this song and is really excited for others to hear it. For Hyunjin to hear it. Of course, that's given that he does actually listen to 3RACHA's music instead of forgetting all about it. 

Jisung starts skimming his lyrics and changes any words that feel too out of place or forced. He wants the song to be comfortable to listen to, an experience that lets the listener connect with it. He hears some whispering and looks up to find that the other three were watching him.

“What?”

“It's just funny how you got straight to business. We're all friends here but you're so serious all of a sudden.” It isn’t a dig at Jisung, he can tell by the way Changbin’s eyes are smiling.

Jisung pouts at Chris, “That's because none of you were paying attention to me.” 

It's Changbin who stands, maybe because Felix is occupying Chris's lap, and approaches him with his arms held out. He cups Jisung's chubby cheeks and squishes him repeatedly, “I'm sorry, Hannie-ah,” his voice is pitched way up in an attempt at a baby voice but it's scratchy and weird, “did hyung ignore you?” He pulls Jisung into a crushing hug and starts swinging them back and forth, “Hyung is sorry, you forgive me, right?”   
The next words he pushes out in a huff due to the force of Changbin's arms around his shoulders, “Yes! Oh my god! Get off!” 

Changbin lets out a high-pitched 'hmph' as he releases the other boy. “Alright then.” He sits back down and reaches for his boyfriend’s hand, pulling lightly until he switches over from the oldest boy's lap. 

Jisung waits until they get comfortable, not wanting to bug them or risk getting ignored, “Okay, so, we’ve been recording this song for the past few nights but something just felt missing. That, combined with the fact that we’re still editing lyrics, is why we’re all gathered here today.” 

“Felix, we want you to record just tiny adlibs for the chorus. It’s honestly barely anything but we think your voice is perfect for this and we really wanted to include you in this one.” Chris smiles at his little brother, the affection he has for him basically radiating from his eyes.

“Okay! Should I go now or…?” He glances between the three rappers apprehensively. 

“Um, hang on, I wanna re-record this one part because I changed a couple words and then we can do your recording afterwards. Sound good?” 

“Yeah, sounds like a plan.” With that, Jisung stands and heads into the recording booth, leaving his phone behind with his notebook. He takes a deep breath and positions himself at the mic, leveling himself for optimal stability. 

“Ready?” Chris is eyeing him with an intensity that only exists when he makes music. Jisung shoots him a thumbs up accompanied by a small smile. The music starts and he waits to jump on the section he had edited, bouncing on his toes. The words come out of his mouth with ease and he tries his best to convey his sincerity as he recites lines that he polished so much. With starved lungs, he completes his recording. 

Everyone is looking at him with shining eyes and his chest swells with pride. The eldest speaks first, “I like the revised lyrics and your delivery was awesome. Come on out.”

Jisung steps out with a wide smile on his face, Felix tackles him and shakes them. “You ready, Lixie?” 

Felix opens his mouth but Changbin beats him to it, “Yo, when the hell did you start calling him Lixie?” He’s pouting, his voice sounds more sulky than anything else.

“I don’t know?”

“I call him Lixie.”

“Dude, trust me, I’m not out to steal your mans.”

The freckled boy giggles, “that’s because he’s after someone else. Right, Sungie?”

“No-"

“Is that who texted you?” The rapper’s heart skips a beat. His eyes shoot to his phone that’s innocently lying on the table like it isn’t the source of his anxiety. 

“What.” 

“Well, your phone went off-"

“Shut the fuck up and pass me my phone.” His heart is racing as he reaches his arm out, grabbing at his phone with shaking hands. 

“Jerk.” Changbin grumbles but hands the phone over without any further complaint or hesitation. 

Jisung checks the notification on the lock screen first. Sure enough, there’s a text from an unknown number. He can hear Felix telling Chris and Changbin about his meeting with Hyunjin but he tunes it out and focuses on the message his phone is pushing towards him. 

1800stanskz: please tell me you’re J.One

Sungie: please tell me you’re not a stalker fan

1800stanskz: I could be ;) 

Sungie: hyunjin ew stop

He clicks out to save the boy’s number before he forgets to.

Jinnie: you are though right?

Sungie: yeah why

Jinnie: I see is an actual masterpiece 

Jisung needs to take a moment. His heart feels like it’s going to burst and he doesn’t know what to do about it. He’s full with just that one compliment and it scares him because he doesn’t even know this guy. 

Jinnie: sorry was that weird

Sungie: no sorry, I’m actually really happy that you think so

Jinnie: it’s really good like I think it’s my favorite  
Jinnie: Your voice is beautiful and the lyrics are amazing

Sungie: really? 

Jinnie: I better not be the first person to tell you this

Sungie: it just hits different coming from you

Jinnie: damn   
Jinnie: that gave me the warm fuzzies

“Jisung!! You gotta help Felix, text Hyunjin later.” Chris gives him a pointed look and he quickly types out a response before he joins his best friend in the booth. 

Sungie: recording with lix, text you later (: 

The rest of the recording goes smoothly, Felix is a natural and his deep voice adds exactly what they were missing in the song. What they fail to account for is the passage of time, by the time they head out it’s pitch black outside and Jisung feels himself grow more anxious about walking home the more he thinks about it. Everyone steps out together (except for Chris who insisted he had more to take care of and would go home real soon) and they loiter awkwardly outside the door. 

Changbin breaks the silence, “So, I gotta go to work, catch you guys later?”

“Yeah, be safe.” Felix gives Changbin a quick kiss and then Jisung moves in for a hug. 

“Love you.” 

“Sung, don’t be weird.” 

“Say it back you coward!!!” but Changbin’s already walking away. He doesn’t look back. Jisung scoffs and turns to Felix, still not wanting to walk home alone. The night is dark and the streets are empty, not to mention it’s colder than it really needs to be and he isn’t trying to get sick. He considers asking Felix to stay over until he remembers that the boy has class tomorrow and likely has things that he needs in his apartment. That thought makes him give up on trying to get the younger boy to come along to his place. 

“Well…I guess we part here?” He’s still hesitant. The streets are scary. 

“It’s really dark and I don’t feel comfortable with you going that far on your own,” it really isn’t incredibly far but Felix was right, “Why don’t you sleep over at my place?”

He wants to say yes immediately but he hesitates. “Are you sure? I mean, I know you’ve got school stuff to do and I don’t even have anything with me.”

“You can borrow from me. Besides, I’m not fond of the idea of my best friend getting murdered tonight, thanks.” That makes Jisung laugh.

“Thanks, man.”

The walk to the Aussie's place is cold but quick, Felix stays very close to the studio and just a small ways away from the university. It goes by even quicker with the boys' constant joking and talking, pointing to random objects and saying “that’s what you look like". They arrive at Felix’s apartment building about 15 minutes after leaving the studio and rush to the doors to escape the cold wind that’s biting at their skin. Even though Jisung is wearing a fluffy sweater, he feels naked with how harshly the cold is hitting him. He pulls the door open roughly and waits for Felix to run in before he follows. They run into the elevator with their hands locked. Neither speak until they are standing in front of Felix's door. 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” he turns the key in the lock, “I have a roommate.” 

Jisung feels blindsided. “what-" the door swings open and he meets eyes with the prettiest boy in the world.

“Sungie?” His heart races at the nickname and he hopes that his cheeks are red from the cold. 

“Hey, Hyunjin,” he steps inside stiffly, “I didn’t know you’d be here.” 

“I live here, silly.” His giggle is something Jisung wants to listen to every day on repeat. It’s high-pitched and giddy and he loves it. 

“What up, slut.” The door slams as a reminder that they are not alone.

“Look who’s talking.” There’s a gasp behind the rapper before the youngest boy moves around him to go into his bedroom. The other two watch through the doorway as Felix picks through his drawers, pulling out a hoodie and sweatpants. 

“I’m gonna take a quick shower, feel free to do whatever you want Ji.” He disappears behind the door to what can only be the bathroom. Jisung puffs his cheeks out before taking a seat on the couch, leaving a reasonable space between Hyunjin and himself. He taps his fingers on his thighs. 

“So, what brings you here?” The pretty boy’s voice is casual but his cheeks are pink. 

“We ended recording too late and neither of us were comfortable with me walking home alone.” 

“You’re gonna sleep over?” 

Jisung feels butterflies in his stomach just thinking about sleeping in the same house as Hyunjin. “yeah". 

“Do you wanna get changed?” There isn’t an immediate response so he continues, “that little brat didn’t give you a change of clothes. You must uncomfortable. I can lend you some.” 

He knows he just met him but the idea of wearing Hyunjin’s clothes is really exciting to him. He nods slowly, “yes, please.” He gets a smile in return before the older boy hops up and strides into his bedroom. He doesn’t have to wait long, Hyunjin is walking out holding a white hoodie and black sweats after a few seconds. He hands them over with a sweet smile on his face. 

“You can get changed in my room, if you’d like.” 

“Thank you.” He makes it quick, trying to keep his eyes from wandering but he can’t help but look at everything his eyes can reach. Hyunjin’s room is small and neat, he has a large bed with black bedding and a nightstand that has a mood light in the shape of a bear. Against one wall he has a small dresser with pictures of friends on it and against the other is a full-length mirror. A clean room with cute touches and details. 

Jisung has to pull the sweats up high and tie them tightly around his waist, even then they still pool around him. The hoodie completely swallows him, stopping at the middle of his thigh, and he’s convinced he’s never been more comfortable in his life. He steps out slowly, embarrassed all of a sudden. 

“Hey, are they- holy shit.” Hyunjin’s dark eyes are glued to him and he feels pride bloom in his chest. He’s doing that. 

“What?” he tries to sound cute, which isn’t hard given how shy he’s feeling. 

“I just-" he clears his throat, “I like my clothes on you.” 

He blushes in spite of himself, losing all the confidence he had built up, “thank you.” He sits back down, bringing his knees up to his chest. “so what do you wanna talk about?” 

“You.” 

“Barf.” 

“Shit, dude, shower longer, did you even wash properly?” Even Hyunjin’s whiny voice is cute. 

Felix smirks, “you wanna check?” 

“No-" but he’s already climbing over Jisung to smother Hyunjin, basically suffocating him. The smallest boy scoots away as soon as Hyunjin starts tickling Felix, causing all kinds of flailing and hitting. He starts placing bets with himself on who’s gonna die like ‘I’ll put a good night’s sleep on Felix dying'. Felix glances at him in the midst of the chaos and stops all movement which makes Hyunjin freeze.

“Wait.”

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Hyunjin starts to check him everywhere.

“You look good, Ji.”

His cheeks burn, “you’re the one who neglected me.” 

“So you-" he smirks, “- reluctantly slid into this lamppost’s clothes?” 

“You jealous?” 

“I am,” he wipes a fake tear and grabs Jisung’s hand, pulling him off the couch, “come to bed with me, my sweet, before this demon tempts you any further!” He runs, taking the older boy with him, and pulls them towards his bedroom. 

Jisung cranes his neck to look back at Hyunjin, “goodnight, Jinnie.” 

“Sweet dreams, cutie.”


	3. a serious talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’ve done it again, Chris. You’re a god amongst men. A visionary. A legend. A genius. I would marry you this very second and have ANY amount of children with you. I-" 
> 
> “Jisung, I am going to murder you.” 
> 
> Jisung giggles, “Yum.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So this chapter is following the other closely but I thought it was about time I add in some background on our little Jisungie. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!! 
> 
> As usual: I love Wooyoung and ATEEZ, all added character traits are for the story only and DO NOT reflect my personal thoughts or opinions. Also I base Felix and Jisung's friendship off mine with my best friends which is why they're so lovey. Thank you for reading!!!

The door slams shut behind them and Jisung can’t help but notice that all their partings have been marked by a closed door. Cliché. He throws himself onto Felix’s bed, wrapping the blanket around him until only his eyes are peeking out. 

“Comfortable?” 

“Yes, sir, I am.” He tries faking an English accent and it comes out smoothly given it’s resemblance with his natural accent. 

Felix knocks the wind out of him by jumping on top of him, hitting him with his whole body. “Sit up, we need to talk.” 

“Serious talks with a stranger in the next room?” he doesn’t like the sound of it. Nor is he fond of the possibility that his secrets could be heard by someone he doesn’t even know. 

“In English.” 

“Okay.” 

Felix begins their language switch, “what do you honestly think about Hyunjin?” 

“I told you, I think he’s cute.” 

“Yeah. But are you wanting to date him?” 

The idea sends a rush of anxiety through Jisung. “I don’t know. I didn’t think that far. I was just having fun.” 

“And there’s nothing wrong with that, you literally just met, but you guys are flirting a lot and Hyunjin gets invested quick.” He knows it’s irrational but Jisung can’t help feeling like he’s being accused of playing with someone’s feelings. 

“I’m not doing it on purpose. I’m not trying to play with him.” 

The other boy’s eyes widen unimaginably and he grabs both of Jisung’s small hands in his even smaller ones, “Baby, I’m not saying that at all.” He scoots a little closer, “what I mean is, I know feelings scare you. I know how you get when the flirting turns into liking and I want to know where your head is at.” 

“I really don’t know.” He hangs his head, training his eyes on their linked hands, “I want to be ready. He’s really nice to me and he seems to be sweet. I know it’s been like a year but I’m really scared.” 

There’s a pause, Felix seems to be debating something until he finally speaks, “You never did tell me what happened.” 

“With Wooyoung?” He knows the answer but he asks for the sake of stalling. 

“Yeah. Do you feel comfortable telling me about it now?” His voice is really soft, like he’s worried he’ll scare Jisung off. 

“I think I should.” He knows he should. He can’t expect to be accommodated all his life without ever even sharing why. It’s not fair to only receive. And Felix always tells him everything. “I’ll tell you but please keep this between us.” 

“Of course, I promise.” 

He draws in a shaky breath in an attempt to steady himself, holding Felix’s hands more tightly. “We were good at first. Really good. He treated me well and I was happy. Then we turned twenty and he started going out a lot. I mean, every night he would just disappear for hours or whole nights and I would have no idea where he went.” He shrugs, “I just assumed that if he wasn’t telling me then it was none of my business, you know?” 

“I know, angel." 

“I left it alone, but one night he came home with lipstick smudged on his lips and I couldn’t play dumb or trick myself anymore. I knew what he was doing. But instead of getting mad like I should’ve, I cried. I cried a lot and I asked him “why" like there was a smart answer and he yelled at me. He told me that I was being crazy and I was just making it all up in my head. That wasn’t the last time he convinced me of that.” Felix brings his arms around him now, holding him to his chest.

“It didn't stop there. He played on the idea that I was jealous and clingy every chance he got. He convinced me that I was lucky to even receive a text from him, and I shouldn’t complain about seeing him once a week. He messed up though, left his phone in the car with me, and I saw that he had changed his wallpaper to a girl we both knew. A girl who had been chasing him for a while. Lo and behold, he would change it depending on who he was with and he failed to change it that time.” 

“I wanna kill him.” 

“I did too. I confronted him and he broke up with me. Later that week, I got a message from a random number. It was the girl, she told me that she knew he was cheating but he had her convinced I was a psycho who mistreated him and didn’t appreciate him. He had played us both to fear each other.” He was shaking now and only noticed his tears when Felix wiped them with his fingers, “How could I be the scary one when he’s the one who would yell at me?” 

“You’re not.” 

“How could I be dangerous when he was the one who would hit me? What chance did I stand? I was freaking tiny. Skinnier than I am now and several inches shorter.” His voice remains quiet, just above a whisper. 

“He hit you?” 

“Just a few times.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“There were times that I almost did. But I was just really scared and I honestly thought that I deserved it. I thought that he was still being good to me. You know? I was convinced that he loved me and that it was me who was fucking up.” He doesn’t bother trying to fight his tears anymore, letting them fall down his chubby cheeks. 

“Do you still think so?” 

“No, not anymore.” He leans back into his friend’s chest, “I’m actually determined to do better than that. Experience better than that. Be loved for real. I can’t say that I want that with Hyunjin for sure. I don’t know him at all. But I’m letting myself enjoy the attention because I do have interest in him and I want to get to know him better. One of us might lose interest tomorrow but we could also become best friends. I want to give that a chance.” 

“You’ve grown so much.” He didn’t realize that Felix is crying too. “I’m really proud of you. I hope you find what you’re looking for.” 

“Thank you.” He gets a squeeze and they sit in silence. It doesn’t take much longer for Jisung to doze off, comfortably nestled against his best friend, warm and exhausted. 

For the first night in years, he doesn’t have any dreams. He thanks Felix's cuddles for that.

He wakes up to a cute angel shaking him awake. “Ji, come on, I gotta get to class and Changbin won’t stop complaining about you being late.” 

“Lixie, please.” He pouts, keeping his eyes locked with his best friend’s. 

He pouts back, “no.” He pulls the blanket and Jisung rolls out of it easily. “Hyunjin said you can keep his clothes but I suggest changing back into your jeans.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Jisung heads into the restroom and unties the sweats so that they drop to the floor and slips his jeans up his legs. He debates changing into his own jacket but Hyunjin’s hoodie is just so comfortable and it’s already warm from being slept in so he decides to keep it on. He steps out and realizes for the first time that Felix is fully dressed for class. 

“Ready?” 

He pats himself down while sweeping the room, “yeah.” 

When they leave Felix’s bedroom, Jisung can’t help but look for the other boy who lives there. He’s subtle about it, only reviewing what’s in his line of vision. 

“He left.” So much for subtlety. “He always leaves while it’s still dark outside and spends the whole morning in the dance studio.” 

Jisung whistles, “Dedicated.” 

“More like crazy.” They both scoff in mutual agreement. 

Felix drops Jisung off at the studio with a tight hug and lots of love. When he steps in, Chris and Changbin are playing a game and Changbin is becoming violent about his low score in comparison with Chris. 

“Hey guys,” he sits in his chair with his legs crossed, “we didn’t schedule a meeting today, what’s up?” 

He doesn’t get a response until the round ends. “I finished the song, it’s mastered and ready to upload.” 

“Oh hell yeah, play that bitch.” Jisung reaches for the computer and clicks on the file named ‘For You FINAL FOR REAL THIS TIME', sitting back and closing his eyes to focus on every detail. A smile paints itself across his face as he listens to the encouraging lyrics they all wrote together. This song feels so personal to him and he really wants it to reach other’s hearts. When it ends, he already wants to listen to it again. 

He wonders if that’s narcissistic but then he realizes that it doesn’t matter to him. 

“You’ve done it again, Chris. You’re a god amongst men. A visionary. A legend. A genius. I would marry you this very second and have ANY amount of children with you. I-" 

“Jisung, I am going to murder you.” 

Jisung giggles, “Yum.”

“What the fuck.” 

“Okay, I’m uploading it while I still have a working brain cell.” He puts it up on SoundCloud first, then moves over to YouTube and puts it up on their official channel. “Alright. Now we wait for them to either embrace it or tear it apart.” 

“Fun, love that for us.” 

“Lunch?” The only confirmation is the way the younger boys rush out of their seats and to the door with their leader following closely behind them. They don’t need to talk about where they’re going because they always go to the same snack shop, half because of the food and half because it’s incredibly quiet there. They always order to share and that doesn’t change this time either. It’s like their little tradition each time they successfully finish a project, something like a celebration. They unwind, catch up, and talk about anything and everything. It’s one of Jisung’s absolute favorite things to do. 

When Changbin gets up to use the restroom and Chris goes to counter to pay, Jisung checks his phone for the first time all day. He notices a new message and clicks into it right away. 

Jinnie: I am crying

Sungie: why?

Jinnie: why did you have to do that to me

He’s starting to feel the anxiety pool hotly in his stomach.

Sungie: what did I do?

Jinnie: do you really need to be that good at writing lyrics?   
Jinnie: who the FuCk allowed this shit  
Jinnie: your behavior is so  
Jinnie: UGH

Jisung lets out a deep sigh and lets the relief wash over him and settle his nerves. He feels sleepy.

Sungie: you legitimately freaked me out you dill hole

Jinnie: I’m sorry  
Jinnie: I’m just offended 

Sungie: by?

Jinnie: your audacity

Sungie: okay?

Jinnie: For You made me cry  
Jinnie: at school  
Jinnie: I demand an apology 

Sungie: nobody told you to listen to it at school

Jinnie: nobody told YOU to release it while I’m at school  
Jinnie: now you have to make it up to me

Jisung has to take a moment to wonder why he’s finding this cute. The boy’s just being dramatic and bossy but he finds himself smiling at the other’s behavior. 

Sungie: fine

Jinnie: great. Go on a date with me

Sungie: what

Jinnie: you read me  
Jinnie: and don’t pull the “you’re a stranger" card because we slept in the same house last night  
Jinnie: If I wanted to murder you I could have

Sungie: I hadn’t thought of that but now I’m scared

Jinnie: oh my god please just go on a date with me

Sungie: let’s go to an arcade and call it hanging out

Jinnie: I’ll take it  
Jinnie: tonight at 5?

Sungie: sure  
Sungie: meet me at Broken Compass Arcade 

Jinnie: can’t wait (:


	4. just a little braver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You really gotta stop complimenting me like that.” 
> 
> “Why? You don’t like it?” 
> 
> “It’s not that… I just don’t know how to react. Besides, if I called you pretty every time I thought it then I’d be saying it like every five seconds.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I really hope you like this chapter. It's definitely self-indulgent but I tried to pace it according to what I've experienced. Thank you for sticking around and reading!! 
> 
> As always: this is a work of fiction. All added character traits are for the purpose of this story and do NOT reflect my views or opinions of those portrayed in a negative light. I am NOT diagnosing the real Han Jisung with anxiety. Thank you for reading!! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!!!

W h y did he agree to this? What broke in his brain to allow him to do this? Is he being possessed by some bravery ghost? Well, he guesses he’s not because he’s freaking out. He takes a deep breath, reminding himself that this is not a date and they’re just going to the arcade. He can do this. He doesn’t need to dress up. But even as he thinks so, he finds himself pulling out his ripped-up black skinny jeans and an oversized knitted sweater that’s patterned in pinks and blues and hangs off one shoulder. He tucks the front of it into his jeans and loops a belt around his small waist. Now for his boots…Ah there they are. He figures being a bit taller won’t hurt. 

Should he wear makeup?

Maybe just a little.

He applies a light coat of foundation to cover up some red spots and makes quick work of his eyes and lips, tinting them only slightly to accentuate them subtly. He smiles in the mirror, feeling better. He just bleached his hair blonde too so it’s still styled from the hair dresser. 

His walk to the arcade is like therapy. He breathes in the cold air that feels cleansing and smiles at the blue sky above him. It’s a long walk but he likes it like that, it gives him time to be healed by the air and settle the nerves eating away at his insides. Even still, the door that leads inside the room of fun appears in front of him and sends a jolt of electricity through him. He remembers his best friend’s motto in that instance. 

Just a little braver. 

He steps in. The lights are off inside but there are so many colorful lights coming from the many games that it doesn’t seem dark inside. He looks around but can’t find the pretty boy anywhere. 

Sungie: hey Jinnie, I’m here.

Rather than receiving a response to his message, he spots Hyunjin rushing towards him from the opposite corner of the arcade. He stops in front of Jisung with a wide grin on his face and it takes the smaller boy a few seconds to respond to his presence. Hyunjin’s wearing a white button-up that’s lined with black, tucked into black jeans. He looks perfect. Jisung meets his eyes and smiles small. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey, pretty boy.” Jisung’s brain short-circuits at the nickname. This boy thinks he’s pretty? This VERY beautiful boy finds him pretty? His cheeks are warm.

“Um, what do you wanna play first?” He looks for all the games he’s good at and makes note of the wall of side-scroll combat games but his eyes linger on the claw machines filled with cute toys. 

Hyunjin has his eyes locked on the other boy and hums before scanning the room himself. “You any good at DDR?” 

“Not really?” 

“Let’s play!” His giggles distract Jisung from the fact that he’s setting him up for a tragic loss and they run together to the, surprisingly, empty game. Hyunjin scrolls through the songs before he stops on one that brings out an excited squeal. Cute. He backs up onto his platform and motions for Jisung to center himself on his. When the screen flashes the song name, he can’t hold back his small grin. Just Right by GOT7. If he’s being honest, he wants to impress the dancer with his reflexes but gravity is clearly not on his side as he stumbles for the fifth time. Unconsciously, he reaches for Hyunjin’s hand and locks their fingers. He moves to let go once he steadies himself but the other squeezes and successfully keeps their hands locked. 

He tries to make eye contact but the other boy is focused on the screen. That doesn’t mean that Jisung can’t see the blush that decorates the boy’s cheeks. His heart races and he turns back, trying to catch up at least a little. 

Needless to say, Jisung lost terribly. 

He brings his phone out, ignoring the quizzical look Hyunjin gives him, and pretends to dial the cops. “Hello police? Yes, I’d like to report a murder. Yes, it’s horrible, blood everywhere.” He pauses for effect, “Oh the victim? It’s me.” Hyunjin’s laughing harder than is reasonable and it brings joy to him, seeing the way his eyes crinkle and hearing his high-pitched laugh. Once he calms down, he tugs on their linked hands and leads them over to Mortal Kombat II. 

“Time for you to return the favor.” 

“How do you know I’m any good?” He releases the Hyunjin’s hand and settles his own on the joystick and buttons. 

“I saw you eyeing them, genius.” 

For the first round, neither of them speak a word. Once Jisung’s character stands triumphantly, Hyunjin decides to strike up conversation. 

“So…tell me about yourself.” 

“That’s a really vague question.” 

“Okay, then tell me what you do with your time. Other than making music.” 

“Well,” there’s a pause as he punches in a combo, “I work at a café too, as a barista.” 

“Really? Where?”   
Hyunjin dies for a second time. “Heart Brew Love.”

“Wait, I hear about that place all the time.” 

“Yeah, it’s pretty popular amongst college students and high schoolers.” They move on to a racing game, “What about you?” 

“I work at a bar, as a bartender.” 

That hits Jisung a bit strangely but he swallows it. Hyunjin is not Wooyoung. “Where?” 

“New Rules.” 

“Hey, I know that one. Everyone always raves about this bartender there because he’s supposedly like really good looking or some- holy shit it’s you.” 

Hyunjin’s smile falters. “Uh, oh, yeah.” Jisung debates on whether he should address it or not. He decides to test the waters.

“I see why they’d describe you that way,” his frown deepens, “but I’d sooner describe you as the dramatic one.” Suddenly his eyes brighten and he smiles with his mouth gaping in mock hurt. He crashes his race car into a building and turns to Jisung. 

“How dare?” 

“Oh, I dare, sir.” They sit like that for a few seconds, just smiling as they seem to come to an understanding about each other. 

Both boys lose tragically. 

“Now tell me, which toy do you want?” Hyunjin’s words take Jisung by surprise and he thinks to object but realizes that won’t work, the older boy is already walking in the direction of the claw machines, not looking back. He catches up and tries anyway.

“These are a scam.” 

“I’m really good at them.” 

“But-"

“Do you want that bunny?” Jisung turns and his eyes find the cutest bunny he has ever seen. It’s pink and has little blushies on its cheeks and it looks to be the size of his torso.

He nods. “Yes, please.” 

Jisung watches Hyunjin instead of the claw. The boy looks ethereal while focusing. The purple lights are creating funny shadows on his face and he’s practically glaring at the toys but he looks so pretty and Jisung feels his chest tighten. Okay. Now he’s crushing. 

The first two tries are fruitless and both boys fake cry, dramatically throwing themselves at the fiberglass. 

“Okay, one last try. Do you believe in me?” 

“Yes.”

Hyunjin has an unreadable look on his face as he seems to debate something. Jisung waits, watching his face closely. He can see the moment the older boy decides, swallowing harshly. 

“You know what’s good luck?” Jisung’s heart rate picks up. He thinks he knows where this is going.

“What might that be?” 

There’s hesitation all over his pretty face. Jisung thinks that this much is okay and steps closer, keeping their eyes locked. Hyunjin’s eyes darken just a touch. 

“A kiss.” When he says it, his voice is low and quiet, eyes locked on Jisung’s lips. 

His hands come up to rest on the rapper's hips. He’s waiting for permission. The smaller boy grants it, leaning up and pouting his lips slightly. His heart is racing, he’s excited. He sees the taller boy begin to lean down and closes his eyes while stretching just a tiny bit more. When their lips meet, it’s soft and hesitant. Hyunjin’s lips are gentle against his, just like his grip. He’s so gentle that Jisung feels like he’s in a dream. He brings his hands up to hold Hyunjin’s face and the ones holding his hips tighten yet the pressing of his lips remains the same. Almost like he’s afraid of pushing too hard. They break apart after what feels like only a second. 

Hyunjin smiles and it makes the Jisung's heart do things. “Let’s win you that bunny, cutie.” 

He doesn’t think his cheeks can get any redder. 

He screams in excitement as the bunny gets dropped into the dispenser. Hyunjin hands it over and pulls Jisung into his arms, jumping around. A kiss lands on the top of his head and his heart stutters for what feels like the millionth time. 

“Thank you, Jinnie!” 

He cups the younger boy’s face, “Anything for you.” 

“Hush.” 

“You hungry?” Hyunjin checks the time, “I know a good place not too far from here.” 

“Uh, sure.” He’s starving, actually. He took so long to notice because he’s been so caught up in Hyunjin but now his stomach is practically eating itself. He doesn’t know what he was expecting but when he’s led, by the hand (his hand is so soft), to a 50’s style diner, he's pleasantly surprised. The pinks and blues of the seats matches his sweater and Hyunjin makes sure to point it out as they take a seat at a booth. 

“You look like you come with the place. Like a doll.” Hyunjin scoots in across from him as he says so. 

“You really gotta stop complimenting me like that.” His smile betrays his words.

“Why? You don’t like it?” 

“It’s not that… I just don’t know how to react. Besides, if I called you pretty every time I thought it then I’d be saying it like every five seconds.” 

“Not more?”

“Oh my god, I will choke you.” 

“Yum, daddy.” 

Jisung groans, “Jinnie…” 

“Okay okay, I’ll stop teasing you.” His eyes rake the menu, “but I won’t stop complimenting you. Like how good you look as a blonde.” 

“I thought you’d never mention it.” His eyes widen, “fuck.” He didn’t mean to say that out loud. 

“Aw, did you really think I wouldn’t notice? It’s quite the difference, cutie.” His cheeks flush again. “You got that done today?” 

“Yeah, I’ve been planning to for a long time and just said “fuck it" and went before I could change my mind.” 

“I like it. You took a good risk.” 

“Thank you.” 

As they eat, Jisung learns a lot about Hyunjin. Like how he has a dog named Kkami that he would give his left leg for and he’s best friends with a boy a year younger than them who he swears is a certified baby for life. He also learns that Hyunjin is majoring in dance but takes vocal and rap lessons. He swears he isn’t any good. They get along really easily, bickering back and forth as if they’ve known each other for months rather than days. Even after they finish their food, they stay in that booth trading stories for another hour before they decide to head out. Sure, they don’t know each other’s deepest secrets by the time they’re walking out but they don’t feel like strangers anymore and that’s a step in the right direction. 

They’re at the point where they part ways. Both boys hesitate at the fork, smiling and staring. 

“I had a good time.” 

The smile on Hyunjin’s face is bright and just has to be a reflection of Jisung’s own. He reaches for the smaller boy’s hands, taking one in each of his. “Me too, Sungie. Getting to know you is turning out to be even better than meeting you.” 

“That’s gay.” 

“And our kiss wasn’t?” That makes him break eye contact with a laugh, choosing instead to focus on the fingers playing with his. “Seriously, thanks for coming out with me.” 

The sincerity in his voice catches Jisung off-guard, “you don’t have to thank me for that, silly.” 

“Can we do this again?” 

“I’m gonna say…” the tall boy is chewing on his plump lip, “yes.” A smile. Again with the pleasant heart-racing warmth. 

“Seal it with a kiss?” 

Instead of answering, Jisung grabs Hyunjin by the collar and gently pulls him down to meet his lips. Just as he thought, the dancer is just as gentle as the first time, if not more. Everything feels so soft and sweet. He knows he's melting into Hyunjin’s warm arms. 

This much is okay.


	5. i can't sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minnie: wanna come over?
> 
> Ji: minho it’s midnight and I don’t have a car
> 
> Minnie: damn you’re right  
> Minnie: I’m outside
> 
> Ji: how the fuck-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So...this chapter is a bit later and a bit shorter than the rest but I just had a lot of trouble getting this one out for you guys. I don't know how I feel about it but I really hope you like it!!
> 
> There will be some drama but it's hard to get to it because this is my stress reliever so I like it being fluffy and nice~ lol
> 
> Let me know what you think!! Thank you for reading! ♡ 
> 
> As always: I'm not diagnosing the real life Han Jisung with anxiety and any added character traits do NOT reflect my personal thoughts or opinions on the real life person. Thank you :)

His heart attack begins right about when he gets home and replays the night in his head while holding the bunny tight to his chest. He really kissed Hyunjin today. A boy he j u s t met. Why is he like this? He throws himself back on his bed with a huge sigh. 

He hasn't changed and he doesn't plan on moving any time soon. His chest feels tight and he's spacing out yet thinking of everything at once. He begins taking deep breaths to try bringing himself back to reality. He isn't really sure how much time passes as he controls his breathing and thinks about the pretty boy with a soft voice and a gentle (yet fun) personality. He can’t sleep and, as if on cue, his phone dings. 

Minnie: awake?

Ji: take a wild guess

Minnie: wanna come over?

Ji: minho it’s midnight and I don’t have a car

Minnie: damn you’re right  
Minnie: I’m outside

Ji: how the fuck-

He gets out of bed and peers out his peephole, immediately spotting the older boy standing there looking bored as all hell. He opens the door hesitantly.

“Fucking finally, Jesus Christmas.” He pushes past Jisung without being invited in and makes himself comfortable on the couch. 

“Come in, I guess.” He sits next to Minho.

“What’s with you?” 

“I’m people tired.” 

“You went out today?” 

“Yeah, with Hyunjin.” He says it casually so that it doesn’t seem like anything special.

“Ohhhhh.” He raises his eyebrows, smirking at Jisung. 

“Don’t “oh" me.” 

“What goes on.” 

“Shut your whore mouth.” 

Minho giggles loud and it warms Jisung’s heart. This is his best friend. He loves him. Even though he’s tired and in the middle of a crisis, he’s happy to see him. He’s happy that they’ve stayed the same throughout everything. 

“I couldn’t sleep and I figured that you’d be up too so I wanted to see if we could get ourselves to pass out together.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” It doesn’t sound that innocent. 

“Movies and cuddles.” He holds up a backpack, “what else?” 

Jisung grins in relief and crawls over, taking the backpack and examining its contents. He doesn’t know why he’s surprised to see a collection of Disney movies. Maybe it’s because they’re Jisung’s favorites and Minho is always making fun of them. But maybe that’s exactly why he shouldn’t be surprised. It’s not like this is the first time this has happened, Jisung’s brain just has a habit of convincing him that everything is headed in the most nerve-wracking direction possible. And of course, his heart decides to listen to his brain well in only that aspect.

“Can we watch Tangled?” 

Minho rolls his eyes but nods anyway, “I’ll put it in, go get comfy and bring blankets.” 

Jisung shoots to his room and replaces his jeans with sweatpants, tossing his knitted sweater on his bed and pulling Hyunjin’s hoodie over his head. Only because it’s bigger than his and that makes it automatically more comfortable to be in. Not at all because it smells like Hyunjin and it gives Jisung the warm fuzzies. 

Obviously. 

He pulls his fleece throw off his bed and grabs another from a basket of blankets that he keeps in his closet. When he enters the living room, Minho is laying across the couch and staring at the title screen. 

“I’m back.” Minho's stare makes Jisung hesitate in joining him. “what?” 

“Where did that hoodie come from?” 

“Oh, it’s Hyunjin’s.” He shrugs and starts lining the blankets up with each other. 

“You’re that close already?” 

“No,” he spreads the blankets out behind him and slots himself between Minho's legs, laying his head on the older boy’s chest and pulling the blankets to lay over them. “I’m in pursuit of closeness with him, though.” 

He feels Minho hum more than he hears it. An arm drapes across his body and they settle into each other easily. This is something they do often. They have for years. Both boys have trouble sleeping and when they happen to be struggling with their insomnia on the same night, they find themselves at each other’s house. The distraction and companionship makes sleep much easier for both boys. It’s part of what made it so easy for Jisung to convince himself that his love for Minho was more than platonic. They just fit. Of course, now he understands that it’s perfectly normal to love someone this much and it still be platonic. To cuddle and comfort each other into sleep solely because he wants to help him sleep. He just worries that he’s the only one who thinks so. 

“All settled?” Minho’s voice is deeper when Jisung’s ear is pressed to his chest. It doesn’t suit him.

“Yup, play that bitch.” He makes a lame old-school hand gesture commonly used by 90’s rappers and Minho lightly smacks his hand back down.

Not even halfway into the movie, Minho's breathing steadies and becomes deep and slow. Jisung, enjoying himself way too much for someone who watches this movie every time he’s sad (so…often), is up until the end, smiling as his favorite scene comes up. He knows it makes him a sap but he loves the lantern scene where Flynn and Rapunzel sing about each other with all these pretty lights surrounding them. Of course, the scene also leads to one of the most upsetting scenes and it gives Jisung severe whiplash every time, but that’s besides the point. 

Once the movie ends, Jisung reaches for the remote and switches to YouTube, playing a random gameplay video to fall asleep to.

It does the trick. 

Well, that and his human pillow. 

Just like with Felix, he doesn’t have any dreams that night. 

Although, he feels like he really should’ve predicted an early awakening considering Minho goes into the studio at the ass crack of dawn just like Hyunjin. And really, he should be happy because he works an early shift today and really can’t afford to be late AGAIN. But when Minho’s excessively loud alarm blasts right next to his ear at 5:30 AM, Jisung is ready to commit homicide.

“Dude, what the hell?” He pushes himself up and looks at a disheveled, grimacing Minho. 

“Stop talking and help me find it so we can kill it.” 

He finds it in his hoodie pocket. Dumbass. 

“With that, I take my leave.” He picks his backpack off the floor and makes his way to the door. 

“Aren’t you gonna change, at least?” 

“Nah, I shower after practice anyway.” He sees himself out, “bye bye!” 

“Be safe!” When the door shuts, Jisung feels himself physically deflate, relaxing after spending so many consecutive hours with others. He goes into work at 8 AM and figures he can afford to play on his phone until 6 AM hits. So, with the double blankets, he huddles himself into a little ball and opens up Rilakkuma Farm. Of course, before he can even harvest his crops, a message causes his heart to pick up tenfold. 

Jinnie: good morning Sungie ♡ I hope you have a good day~

He can feel himself grinning at the message and feels like a complete loser for it but he makes no effort to stop.

Sungie: morning Jinnie! Thank you~ (: I hope you have a good day too! 

He feels bad for not sending a heart back. But he just feels like that one little symbol carries more weight than he’s willing to shoulder. He decides to just ready himself for the day, his heart doing too much work for him to sit still and farm fake crops for bears. 

His shower is quick and he dries his hair with care, wanting it fluffy so that he can look extra cute. He always puts a little bit more effort into himself when he goes to work because cute boys get good tips and he has a few regulars that buy several coffees just to talk to him. This time, he takes his time with his makeup, blending pinks and browns for a fresh, sweet look. Today he’ll be soft. 

He’s required to wear a white button-up and black slacks but the ugly of them gets covered by a pink apron that he decorated with doodles so it’s not a big deal. 

He takes the bus to work because walking is like asking to die of hypothermia. Especially when the person in question is a dumbass who forgets his jacket in the middle of winter. He doesn’t LOVE the bus but he doesn’t hate it either. Besides, it’s a short ride.

“Are you one of THOSE assholes?” Of course, Nayeon attacks as soon as he opens the door to the café, referring to his lack of outerwear.

“No, just an idiot.” She follows him as he drops his things off in the break room and loops his apron over his head and around his waist. 

“When do you get out today?” 

“Eight.” 

“Ew, why are you working twelve hours?” They head back out to set up for the day. 

“I’m broke and I have too much free time.” 

She only nods in response and pulls some cinnamon rolls out of the oven, setting them to sit prettily on the shelving. Nayeon always gets to work way too early to bake and leaves at around noon. “Couldn’t be me.” 

He narrows his eyes, “it literally is you.” 

“How-"

“You leave here to go to your other job, you dumb hoe.” 

She presses a hand to her heart in mock offence, “never, in all my years of living, have I experienced such blatant disrespect.” Jisung scoffs and starts brewing different teas and coffees, preparing enough to make several cups without going as far as risking it going stale. They easily slip into their routines by now, having gotten used to each other a long time ago and when the clock indicates that it’s time to open, they’re just straightening things out to the millimeter. 

“Okay, you open and I’ll head to the back.” Nayeon grabs a coffee and starts heading back, “let me know what you need more of BEFORE it runs out.” Her pointed look does have a reason for existing but Jisung feels scandalized anyway. 

“Yeah, yeah. Go away.” He doesn’t look back for her reaction, instead he unlocks the doors and takes his place behind the cash register. 

For the most part, his day passes quietly. The morning rush is usual and he does get a few of his regular visitors. What sticks out to him isn’t the flirting or the compliments but the message that he sees when he checks his phone on his break. 

Jinnie: hey cutie (: keeping warm?

Sungie: yup! Work is keeping me in a nice little cocoon. Are you? 

Jinnie: I am (: when do you get off? 

Sungie: 8 PM because I love to suffer~

Jinnie: need a ride? It’ll be dark and really cold

His heart beats a bit harder at that. He wonders if he can say yes to that and be okay. He reasons with himself. He did get to know him better and he did forget his sweater today so…

Sungie: you’re a lifesaver ♡ 

He sends the heart before he can overthink it but he regrets it right after. He does send hearts to his friends in these situations all the time but it just feels different. Like it can’t possibly mean what it does when he sends it to anyone else. What if it’s too much? What if Hyunjin doesn’t even really like him?

Jinnie: anything for you ♡ 

What if he does?


	6. i want to show you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinnie: hannie it’s 3AM why are you awake
> 
> Sungie: I was working on some stuff, like you mr. hypocrite 
> 
> Jinnie: did you hear me groan or should I do it louder
> 
> \--
> 
> Jisung experiences way too much for one day but what it leads to makes it all worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I really hope you enjoy this chapter! I had fun writing this one! 
> 
> TW!!! Anxiety attack. There is an anxiety attack in this chapter, written based off my own anxiety attacks, if you'd like to skip it, it's marked by stars ☆☆
> 
> As always: I am NOT diagnosing Han Jisung with anxiety, any added character traits are for the purpose of this story and are complete fiction! They do not reflect my personal opinions/ beliefs 
> 
> Thank you for reading!! ♡♡

After his break, work drags on terribly. Minutes become hours and he becomes more anxious as time passes. He starts regretting his bravery. He spills a few cups and the man that’s been hanging around for him lately tips him extra because “he's just too cute when he’s nervous". It’s hard to smile and take the money instead of punching that asshole right in the face but he does it as if it’s natural. The worst part is that the guy doesn’t even leave, he sticks around for hours, and when he’s serving the guy his fifth coffee, Hyunjin walks in. 

Jisung spares a smile at the pretty boy before setting the cup down in front of his customer, “anything else I can help you with?” 

“Yes,” he flashes a sickening smile, “don’t you think it’s time you give me a chance, sweetheart?” 

Jisung freezes, hands hovering over the cup, “What do you mean?” 

“Come on, you know what I mean.” Jisung’s heart is beating wildly. He moves to step away but the man grabs his wrist harshly, the grip of his fingers around the small boy’s wrist hurting him immediately. “Where do you think you’re going?” 

“Well-" 

“Are you harassing an employee?” The youngest boy jumps, he’s sure that it’s Hyunjin’s voice but he’s never sounded like this before. His voice is hard and deep. Angry. 

“Why don’t you mind your own business?” he sneers, tugging at Jisung’s arm.

This time, Hyunjin steps in and wraps his arm around Jisung, muttering a quick “sorry" in his ear and pulling him close. “Why don’t you stop treating this angel like he’s your property?” 

“He likes it-"

“No the fuck he does not, now let go of him before I make you.” Jisung doesn’t know how to feel about this. On one hand, Hyunjin’s protecting him from a creep but, on the other hand, he’s scary. Jisung never thought that he could be scary. 

He decides that he hates this situation. It just reminds him too much of what he’s been through before. 

Jisung does his best to remind himself that Hyunjin hasn’t hurt him. He doesn’t want to hurt him. He’s going to be okay. He takes a deep breath and pulls his wrist free from the obsessive customer, Hyunjin immediately rubbing the red skin. 

“Please, never do that to me again.” He keeps his voice calm and sweet but leans back against Hyunjin, letting the weight of the moment rest on the other boy. 

“I'm sorry, I don’t know what got into me.” Jisung almost falls over at the man’s words. That’s what Wooyoung said the first time that he hit him. Hyunjin tightens his grip and he grounds the rapper. 

“It's okay. I gotta go now.” He smiles up at Hyunjin, nerves pushing around at his insides. “You can follow me to the break room.” 

And he does. Like a puppy, following right behind Jisung without speaking a word. Jisung pulls off his apron and tosses it into his locker, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. 

He turns to see that Hyunjin’s standing there like a sim, just watching and perfectly still. “I’m ready, let’s go.” 

“No, you’re not.” 

“Yes? I-"

“Are you not aware that it’s cold out there?” 

“Maybe I wanna be icy.” Hyunjin fakes a laugh and digs into a bag that he brought with him, pulling out a hoodie and handing it to Jisung. 

“I had a feeling you forgot.” 

Jisung scoffs but pulls the hoodie over his head, relishing in the comfort and warmth, “you’re not supposed to know me well enough to guess that.”

“Oops.” He shrugs and stares, waiting until Jisung has the hoodie dwarfing his frame and his backpack hanging off his shoulder. “Now you won’t die, let’s go!” He grins and looks so cute that Jisung really doubts that he’ll live much longer. 

The first thing that Jisung notices about Hyunjin’s car is that it’s sleek. It’s small and elegant looking and if he knew anything about cars, he’s sure he’d be drooling. Well, he's basically drooling. But not over the car. No, his focus was on the beautiful boy sat to his left who happens to look entirely different behind the wheel.

Rather than cute and gentle, he’s hot. Jisung doesn’t know how to react to that. 

Jisung lets himself stare, admiring the way Hyunjin sets his jaw when he focuses and the way his brows furrow just enough to cast a shadow over his eyes. The younger's eyes travel down the slope of his cutely angled nose, past his plump cheeks, down to his pouty lips. Every now and then, he pulls the bottom lip between his teeth and Jisung’s heart skips. This doesn’t surprise him. Hyunjin is very attractive and it’s a given that many people will agree on that. What comes next is what floors him. 

Hyunjin giggles, abruptly and loud and bubbly. “That dog is wearing a suit!” 

Jisung feels his whole body get warm. He takes a risk and clears his throat to make way for an old man voice, “excuse me sir-" the laugh that comes out of Hyunjin’s mouth eggs Jisung on, “be careful sir, you’ll dirty your suit! I need to borrow it later!” he laughs again. Definitely way too hard, Jisung knows he isn’t as funny as Hyunjin is making it seem. But he feels warmer and his cheeks hurt from grinning. 

He likes Hyunjin. 

It’s been three days and he likes this boy. 

Fuck. 

“What are you thinking about, Sungie?” Hyunjin’s voice makes him jump. 

“Huh?” 

“We’re here but you’ve just been spacing out.” 

“What the-" He looks out the window and realizes that they’re right outside his apartment building. “How did you know where I live?” 

“You told me your address? Typed it into Google Maps on my phone?” 

“Shit, you’re right.” He unbuckles his seatbelt and turns to Hyunjin, “thank you, for the ride. And the hoodie. I’ll return it to you.” 

“You can keep it.” 

“Not the hoodie, are you crazy?’ Hyunjin giggles loud again, “The favor.” 

“Okay, get inside safely.” The look in Hyunjin’s eyes is soft. 

“Okay.” He doesn’t want to but Jisung opens the door and slides out of the car, turning to smile and wave at Hyunjin. 

Of course, the elder doesn’t drive off until Jisung walks into the main lobby with a dumb grin glued to his lips.

He's up late that night, writing lyrics and brainstorming new song ideas to bring up to the guys at the next 3RACHA meeting. He makes good progress but he checks out of doing that when he receives a message from Hyunjin.

Jinnie: I bet you’re asleep by now but I just finished choreographing one your songs and I want you to see it. Could you come around any time soon? 

Sungie: “soon" references days not minutes, right?

Jinnie: hannie it’s 3AM why are you awake

Sungie: I was working on some stuff, like you mr. hypocrite 

Jinnie: did you hear me groan or should I do it louder

Sungie: I’m free on Wednesday 

Jinnie: is noon okay?

Sungie: yeah now go to sleep

Jinnie: you first 

☆☆  
Jisung doesn’t answer, he gets into bed and lets himself process everything at once. He likes Hyunjin. Liking someone is scary. When someone likes someone else, that person has the power to hurt them. In many ways. It’s like giving the person he likes power over him. Saying “here’s my heart, do whatever you want to it”. The last person he gave his heart to hurt him in a way that changed who he is forever. Will Hyunjin do the same? Surely not, he’s like an angel. But he was scary earlier. But only because he was protecting Jisung. He even apologized. So why is Jisung feeling like he’s in danger? Why is he scared when he’s been ready to try this again? Why can’t he just be normal and love recklessly? Why is he crying? Why can’t he breathe? When did he get so cold? 

He tightens the hoodie around him until his mouth and nose are covered, forcing himself to breathe deeply rather than quickly. The restriction, coupled with the pleasant scent Hyunjin leaves on his clothes, helps regulate his breathing. He’s still crying and he’s having trouble grounding himself this time. His chest is hurting and everything tingles, his head feels light and airy while hurting terribly. He lays down and covers himself, hugging his pink bunny to his chest, and cries. Eventually, he falls asleep like that, completely worn out.   
☆☆

When he wakes up, it’s 4PM and he’s so dehydrated he feels like he could faint. He forces himself to get up and drink a glass of water before he lays back down right away. He doesn’t want to do anything today. He woke up with just as much anxiety as before and he just wants to sleep it away. Except he can’t sleep because his racing heart is uncomfortable in his chest and his breathing feels forced. He stands slowly, deciding a hot shower might help. 

It didn’t. So, music it is. 

Jisung grabs his computer from the foot of his bed and pulls up a track he’s been working on for a while. Not the lyrics, just the beat. It’s mellow, slow and airy in sound. He finished it up last night. He wants it to be his new solo track but he hasn’t brought it up to the guys yet, hence his lack of lyrics. But, right now, he knows exactly what he wants this song to be about. He knows what he wants to write about. What he wants to title it. So, he silences his phone and gets started. He writes all his lyrics in this little blue journal meant for diary entries with a pen that he cherishes for no reason whatsoever. 

It only takes him two hours. Not because he rushes or because he writes carelessly but because he knows exactly where he’s going with it. For the first time in a while, he isn’t lost. He scans his finished lyrics and feels excited, refreshed. He wants to record right now. So, he texts Chris. 

Hannie: hyung can I use the studio tonight?

Channie: alone?

Hannie: yeah I wanna record something special   
Hannie: sort of like a personal project

Channie: are you sure you wanna go alone? It’s dark and you walk

Hannie: I promise I’ll be okay hyung  
Hannie: I’ll call someone if I leave too late

Channie: okay  
Channie: thank you for asking even though you know where I keep the key  
Channie: be safe love you

Hannie: thanks love you too

Chris has always been the nurturing type, it’s something that all their friends value in him. Jisung just wishes he would worry less and enjoy his life a bit more. Although, it’s not like he’s in any position to say something like that to someone else, all things considered. 

When he gets to the studio, he quickly fishes out the key while making sure that no one is watching him and slips inside. He locks the door as soon as he shuts it behind him and hurries over to start turning the equipment on. The first thing he does is transfer the file his beat is on to the desktop, opening it on the software they use to record. He tweaks it a tiny bit before deciding that it’s good and moves on to recording his lyrics. It feels even better to have the words coming out of his mouth than it did to write them down and he feels his chest getting lighter and lighter as he goes. This song is his most special song yet. 

By the time he finishes mastering it and editing the sound, it’s very late. He can feel it in his body. But he feels so good that he doesn’t care. He saves his song on the desktop and backs it up on two other drives then saves it onto his phone. He’s so excited. He knows just who he wants to show it to. 

So he calls him. 

“Jisung?” his voice is confused on the other side but wide awake so that’s a good sign.

“Are you home?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“Can I come over?” 

“Right now?” 

“Yeah.”

“Walking?”

“Don’t worry, I’m at the studio, it’s really close.” 

“Okay, just be safe.”

“Okay!” 

He runs. It doesn’t take him more than fifteen minutes to reach the apartment complex and head up to the floor he lives on. When he knocks on the door, his knocks are loud and lack rhythm. 

It opens only seconds later, revealing the person he wants to see most, “Excited?” Why is he so cute all the time?

“Hyunjin! I wrote a song!” he steps inside and looks around the dark apartment. “I want to show you.”

“Okay, let’s go to my room.” Hyunjin leads the way and Jisung notices that he looks elegant even dressed in joggers and a hoodie. 

It isn’t until they’re sitting side by side on the dancer’s bed that Jisung realizes that he doesn’t feel uncomfortable at all. He’s just excited as he unlocks his phone and raises the volume, staring at Hyunjin as he presses play.

There’s this soft smile on Hyunjin's face that doesn’t go away as he listens to the song Jisung wrote. Hyunjin looks focused, his eyes are closed and he’s rocking to the beat. When the song ends, his smile widens and he meets eyes with the younger boy. 

“I love it.” 

“Really?” 

“It’s beautiful. I almost cried but that’d be awkward so I held it in.” Hyunjin’s words make Jisung laugh and blush at the same time. “Are you going to upload it?” 

“I don’t know, maybe?” Hyunjin’s eyes widen. 

“You have to!” he grabs Jisung’s hands, “I need this song in my life. It feels like a piece of sanity.” 

“I can give it to you. If you promise not to show anyone or post it.” He doesn’t know why he’s offering this. 

“I promise! I promise! Yes! Please?” Hyunjin’s voice is unbelievably cute like this, he seems younger. 

Jisung sends it but Hyunjin is too busy wrapping him up in a cuddle to check, the notification going off every few minutes as the boys adjust around each other and settle in to watch a movie.

Received: Sunshine.mp3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. 
> 
> So, it seems like an ending but I swear there's actually a lot left. Next up is Hyunjin dancing to 3RACHA!! Which song do you think it's gonna be?? 
> 
> Thank you, to all those who take the time to read my story! And an extra thank you to all those who leave kudos and comments, it really brightens my day ♡


	7. i need you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Still salty?” 
> 
> “Me? No, I don’t get salty.” 
> 
> “Uh-"
> 
> “I be on that sour patch kid shit.” 
> 
> “Okay, hyung.” 
> 
> \---
> 
> An unexpected visitor crashes hyunsung and Minho puts his protective friend pants on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I know, the update is a week late, I'm so sorry! I lacked motivation and got really busy but I made the chapter longer to apologize for the delay! I really hope you like it~~
> 
> As always: Any added character traits are NOT reflective of my personal thoughts or opinions of any of the people mentioned and are here for the sake of the story. This is purely fiction, I am not diagnosing anyone or assuming anything of anyone in the real world. Thank you for reading!!!

They get through half of a movie before someone walks in screaming “Hyung!!!” Jisung doesn’t recognize the voice but the way Hyunjin jumps off the bed and runs out excitedly tells him that it must be one his best friends. He follows slowly, standing in the doorway and watching his crush envelope a tall boy in a hug. 

“Hi, my baby!” Ouch? “It’s been so long!” 

“Hyung, it’s been a week.” Jisung wonders why they’re still hugging so tightly. 

“One torturous week!!” He lets go and grabs onto one of his hands, “Come here, I want you to meet someone special.” Jisung panics, realizing that they’ll see him watching them and he doesn’t want to be creepy so he bolts back to the bed and pulls out his phone, idly texting Felix. The boys walk in linked together in all ways possible. He looks up slowly, getting a proper look at the other boy. He’s handsome but he still looks young and cute.

“Hey.” His voice is soft, it’s an accident. But the smile Hyunjin replaces his old one with is so sweet that it seems like an okay thing. 

“Sungie, this is Jeongin! Jeonginnie, this is Jisung.” The introduced boys make eye contact and share a smile, “Innie, he’s your hyung. So be good.” Jeongin pouts and Jisung feels himself fall for the cute boy just a little bit. Not in the way he’s falling for Hyunjin, but in the way he’d fall for a puppy. 

“It’s nice to meet you, hyung!” He just has to have the cutest way of speaking, huh? 

“It’s nice to meet you too.” He’s doing his best to not display his nervousness. Meeting new people is hard for him. He needs someone familiar to hold on to. He feels overwhelmed. Hyunjin’s watching him closely and seems to catch on to something because he lets go of Jeongin and sits next to Jisung, holding his hand palm up, an invitation. Something like a question rather than just taking what he thinks Jisung needs. The younger boy slides his hand into Hyunjin’s bigger one, intertwining their fingers and squeezing. 

“Innie, let’s watch in the living room, can you grab some blankets for us?” The youngest nods and hurries out of the room to where Jisung assumes the extra blankets are kept. 

As soon as Jeongin leaves the room, Hyunjin turns to him, “I’m sorry, I forgot he was coming. Is this okay?” 

Jisung’s surprised. He doesn’t remember the last time someone looked out for him like this. At least, someone who isn’t already very close to him and familiar with his anxiety. He makes eye contact, feeling that trusting this sweet boy can be a good decision. “It’s okay, it’s just a little hard to be myself like this. But I’ll be okay.” 

Hyunjin’s eyes don’t show pity, they’re swimming with concern and something else that the younger boy can’t place. “I’ll stay by your side, okay?” 

He seems to always know exactly what Jisung needs. 

“Okay.” Hyunjin smiles and leans in to peck Jisung’s lips, something they haven’t done since their date-that-was-totally-not-a-date. Jisung blushes at the quick press of the boy's pretty lips against his and the domesticity of the gesture. 

“Let’s go join him, what do you say, cutie?” Hyunjin’s watching him carefully, with smiling eyes and pink cheeks, so he just nods and lets himself get pulled up and out of the room. 

True to his word, Hyunjin stays glued to Jisung’s side throughout the entire movie, squeezing his hand and letting Jisung lay against his side. It’s a nice gesture. He knows that it’s based in wanting to help, but the anxiety of liking Hyunjin added to the anxiety of being around a new person is too much for him right now. He doesn’t like it. He needs to get out. So he texts Minho, knowing the guy is awake and able to drive. He doesn’t want to seem rude but he can’t stand it any longer and pulls his phone out of his pocket, opening his chat with Minho. 

Ji: hey can you come get me

Minnie: is everything okay? Where are you?

Hyunjin watches him type, he’s distantly aware of it but too numb to think about the consequences. 

Ji: I’m okay just feel like I might have an anxiety attack and I need you

Minnie: oh no, I’ll go get you but you need to tell me where you are baby

Hyunjin scoffs and Jisung presses closer, trying to do some damage control without being overly obvious. He doesn’t know how well it works but the dancer keeps his arms wrapped around him so he thinks it’s at least a bit effective. 

Ji: I’m at Lix's place

Minnie: why are so anxious when you’re there?

Ji: hanging out with jinnie but a new person is here and it’s a lot for right now

Minnie: okay I’m coming

Jisung sighs. 

Ji: thanks (: 

Hyunjin tightens his hold and presses a kiss to Jisung’s head, “I’m sorry.” It’s whispered right in his ear and the boy sounds so sad that Jisung feels emotional just hearing it. He cranes his neck to look up at him, thanking every god out there that Jeongin is sat with his back to them (he claims he prefers the floor to the couch), and pouts his lips. He’s asking two questions here. 

Kiss me? 

And

Are you mad? (Alternatively: are we okay? Did anything change?) 

He's answered with a soft smile meeting his pout, pushing firmly. This feels like their most urgent kiss yet, the pressure feels nice, almost like he’ll still feel it once they part, and Hyunjin keeps his hands pressed tightly against Jisung’s waist, pulling him so they’re impossibly close. The small boy enjoys kissing Hyunjin, both for the physical and emotional aspect of it. It’s not love but there are feelings between them that only seem to grow as they get to know each other better. He isn’t sure why but they just click, and even though he’s not ready to give his heart over to the pretty boy, he’s glad that he’s giving him a real chance. When they part, they don’t pull away by much. Just enough to be looking at each other and Hyunjin whispers against his lips, “It’s okay. I understand.” 

Jisung remembers again why he’s walking towards this boy. He kisses him again. A knock on the door makes them part, Jisung standing maybe a bit too eagerly. He pulls Hyunjin up and waves to Jeongin as they make their way to the door. Jisung lets Hyunjin open it, standing back a bit. 

Minho looks really cute. 

His hair is messy and he’s dressed in a big hoodie and skinny jeans, his round glasses sitting on the bridge of his stupidly perfect nose. He really loves his friend. Jisung can’t help it, he steps into his hyungs arms and takes a deep breath, calming down in pieces. Hyunjin coughs and it brings the youngest back to his senses, he pulls off and turns around with a sheepish smile. Hyunjin smiles at Minho but it lacks humor. 

“Hey.” Oh, Minho's voice is cold. 

“Hey.” Hyunjin lingers for only a second before turning to Jisung, his demeanor changing immensely. His smile is warm and his voice is soft when he speaks, “thank you, for today. I’m sorry, too. About Innie.” 

Jisung appreciates how considerate he is. It gives him the warm fuzzies. “Don’t be sorry, I enjoyed myself.” 

Hyunjin nods and straightens up, eyes shifting between Jisung and Minho before he pulls the former into his arms, squeezing tight. Jisung meets his eyes, he thinks he knows what the tallest boy is doing, and he decides to go with it. He can’t help but be curious of where this is all going. Hyunjin cups his face with both hands and kisses him slowly. Jisung returns the kiss, holding onto the hands holding his face and relaxing into a hold that’s quickly becoming familiar to him. The kiss only lasts a few seconds, the two pulling away at the same time with pink cheeks. 

“See you soon?” Hyunjin’s voice is so soft.

“Of course!” Jisung smiles warmly, waving his hands and planning to wait until the taller boy closes the door but his friend grabs onto his arm and tugs him down the hall and to the elevator without saying a single word. 

When they’re standing side by side in the elevator, Minho finally speaks, “You didn’t tell me that you started dating.” 

Jisung eyes him, “We’re not?” 

“No? So, you just kiss your friends?” This is ridiculous. 

“What is wrong with you?”

“Don’t you feel like you’re getting too attached?” Minho doesn’t make eye contact, just stares angrily at the elevator door.

“No, dude. I’m getting to know him and I like when he kisses me so I let him do it. It’s not like I’m in love with him or anything.” He really means it. He likes Hyunjin but he wouldn’t die without him. Not at this point.

“Then spend a day with me instead of finding your way back with him.” 

“When?” 

“Tomorrow.” Jisung nods, trying to remember what day it is. 

“Oh wait! I can but can I go to the dance studio with you?” 

“Why?” He looks happy though, like his mind is at ease.

“Hyunjin- don’t give me that look-" Jisung returns Minho's glare, “He choreographed one of my songs and I said I’d drop by to watch.” 

Minho rolls his eyes but nods, looking at the younger boy as they exit the elevator, “Okay, but I stay there for a while so you have to hang out with me the whole time, got it? No straying off to Hyunjin.” 

Jisung pouts exaggeratedly, wanting to make his friend laugh. “Yes, daddy.” 

Minho trips and Jisung falls on the floor, laughing ridiculously. He earns a punch in the arm and a rough shove into the car, still laughing as the older climbs into the drivers seat. “Do not. EVER. Call me that again.” 

“You should have seen your face!” He wheezes out between laughs, “It was so worth the abuse after.” 

“Just tell me where you want to sleep, you psycho.”

“Mine, please. I wanna recharge in solitude because I’m gonna be getting some mad socializing in tomorrow.” 

“Understandable.” 

The rest of the drive passes quickly, the two friends joking about dumb things the entire way. They easily fall back into their usual dynamic and Jisung feels relieved. He doesn’t like fighting with anybody, it gives him something that feels like a constant anxiety attack. When they reach his apartment building, the older boy insists on walking him up. 

“I’ll pick you up at eight.” Jisung gags. “You better be ready because I will take you in whichever state you’re in when I come here.” 

The smaller boy knows it’s true because he’s done it before. It’s really embarrassing and really mean so he nods animatedly and gives him a salute. “Sir, yes, sir.” 

Minho smiles, “get inside, you dumb shit.” 

Jisung gives him a hug, “Thank you for always being there for me.” 

“Of course. I’m sorry I got mad, I just thought that you had been lying to me and that bugged me a lot.” 

This makes him laugh, “I wouldn’t hide that from you, you little hoe. Besides, you omit information from me too.” He opens his door and steps inside, “Like how you want Chris inside of you.” He shuts and locks the door before Minho registers his response, giggling at the pounding on his door.

“Hey! I do not!” The giggly boy didn’t reply. “Han Jisung, face me like a man!” 

“See you tomorrow!” He responds energetically but deflates as soon as he makes his way further into the house. He’s really tired, his day catching up to him. He takes a quick shower and curls up with his bunny, not bothering to dry his hair. He falls asleep quickly and dreams that he’s friends with a gummy beat and they ride a pastel rollercoaster through a big city laughing the most cursed laughs he has ever heard. 

Needless to say, he curses his alarm greatly when it wakes him up at 7AM. He sits up with a groan, missing his gummy bear friend already. He pulls himself out of bed and quickly washes his face, grabbing his phone to play with as he brushes his teeth. He then gathers his makeup, wanting to make sure he looks cute today. He would say it’s not because of Hyunjin but everyone knows that’s a lie so he doesn’t bother and gets to work, covering his skin with a light coat of foundation and accenting it with blush across his cheeks (and a little on his nose, he thinks it’s cute). He keeps his eye shadow simple, covering the lid lightly with beige glitter and adding depth with brown. He finishes it up with mascara and a lightly tinted lip balm. 

He styles his hair off of his forehead and smiled, pleased with his work. He pulls on a pink hoodie and blue jeans, finishing off with his converse. Now he waits. He settles on his couch, playing with his phone idly until there’s an aggressive knock on his door. 

“Cute outfit.” Minho’s smirking.

“Cute bag.” Jisung gestures to the other boy's worn out duffel. The older boy squints his eyes and turns on his heels, not even looking back. The rapper locks his door and runs after the other who’s already waiting in front on the elevator with a bored expression gracing his features. 

Jisung pushes him and runs into the elevator, “Still salty?” 

“Me? No, I don’t get salty.” 

“Uh-"

“I be on that sour patch kid shit.” 

“Okay, hyung.” 

“Don’t ‘okay boomer' me.” He whines. “How did you know about my crush on Chris?” 

“Bitch, I know you better than you know Dori.” 

“Bold statement for someone who’s never fathered three children.” Before Jisung can call him out, the elevator opens again and they’re walking out to his car, settling in and making their way to the dance studio the boys practice in. When they reach the big flight of stairs that leads to the dance room, Jisung huffs loud and slumps against Minho. 

“Carry me.”

“No, bitch, I’m about to exercise more today than you will all month, use those legs of yours for once.” 

“Wow, okay, just call me out like that.” He begins making his way down the stairs, ignoring the way Minho runs down them like he’s being chased by an over armed murderer who pumps steroids into his veins as often as he breathes. 

“Dude, I just aged like ten years waiting for you. I’m wasting away.” 

“What’s new?” That earns him a swift punch. When they reach the door, Jisung can see Hyunjin practicing inside. He looks like he’s been at it for hours, his hair is drenched with sweat and his body dripping with it. “I’m gay.” 

“I know- oh because of him. Mood.” 

“At Chris though.” He squeals when the dancer makes a grab for him and runs into the room, startling the pretty boy inside as he hides behind him. Minho rushes at him, easily bypassing the confused boy and pulling Jisung into his arms, pushing him to the floor and then sitting on him to squish him. The smaller boy screams, thrashing wildly. 

Minho slaps a hand over his mouth, looming over him with an evil grin in his eyes, “Tell anyone and I’ll k word you so violently that you won’t be recognizable.” Wide eyes meet smug ones as the older boy stands up, leaving Jisung gasping on the floor. Minho gets straight to practicing as if that whole interaction hadn’t just happened. 

Scary. 

Why are they friends? 

Jisung sighs and stands, choosing to settle himself against the mirror in the corner, watching the boys dance together. It’s clear that they took turns with choreography, sharp moves integrated with fluid moves. It’s fun to watch them, each boy is powerful but in ways that contrast each other. Even as they repeat the same routine, making changes that are sometimes unnoticeable to the untrained eye, the youngest boy doesn’t get bored of watching them. It’s addictive. When they finally stop for a break, four hours had already passed. They take careful sips of water, not wanting to fill their stomachs. Minho sits next to Jisung, pulling him into his lap and wrapping his arms around his waist. 

“Ew.” 

“Deal with it.” 

Hyunjin eyes them then walks over, sitting where Jisung had been. “You’re not bored, Sungie?” 

“Nope!” He smiles at the cute boy, “You guys are something else. It’s impossible to get bored watching you dance.” A blush makes its way across Hyunjin's cheeks, a giggle blessing his ears. He leans forward and kisses Jisung fast, getting up immediately after. 

Minho lets out a shout and then whines, “Really? On my lap?” 

Hyunjin shrugs then queues up a song on his phone, “Okay, I’m gonna show you now.” 

“Okay.” 

The music starts and Jisung feels like he could fall over. It’s Tik Tok. His choreography begins as soon as the song does, the boy popping up and hitting each syllable that “J.ONE" raps. Honestly? It’s hot. The boy whose voice blares from the speakers leans back against his best friend’s chest, eyes glued to the boy moving around the room. He’s graceful yet each move holds so much power. It feels like an honor that this talented angel would dance to his song. All too soon, the song ends and Hyunjin lands in his final pose, eyes piercing the young rapper. He grins while he watches the soft, cute dancer come back. 

“Um,” He wipes some sweat off of his face, “did you like it?” His voice is so soft and sweet when he speaks that Jisung gets the urge to wrap him in a big hug. 

“I loved it, are you kidding? You’re amazing.” An understatement, really.

“You did? Promise?” He looks like a little puppy, eyes wide and waiting while the faintest smile ghosts his lips. 

“Pinky promise!” Jisung grins his gummy smile at the older boy, genuinely happy about all of this. He feels good. 

“Okay, well, we need to keep practicing.” Minho slides Jisung off his lap and pats his head, “Let’s leave early today, I’m spending the day with Jisung .” Hyunjin pouts at that but doesn’t say anything, just resumes his position and prepares to begin their routine. They practice for another hour before Felix walks in and Jisung practically knocks him over with the force of the hug he wraps him in. 

“Whoa, mate, you almost killed me.”

“I would go down with you though so we’d both die and I’m okay with that because it would be an HONOR to die in your arms.” Jisung makes it a point to sound as obsessive and creepy as possible. Luckily, Felix does find it funny. 

“What are you doing here?” They walk over to the mirrors together so Felix can set all his stuff down.

“Spending the day with Minho. Plus Jinnie wanted to show me a dance so ta-da! Here I am.” The other two walk over now, pretending they barely noticed that the little Aussie was here. Minho smiles at him while giving a brief hug.

“I see you decided to grace us with your holy presence.”

Hyunjin wraps around Felix from the back, resting his head on the younger boy's shoulder. “I know, I’m sorry. I stayed over at Binnie's last night and ended up sleeping in past my alarm. I’m really sorry. But we still have a few hours, right?” 

“Yeah, like three more. We’re leaving early so that your twin over there doesn’t lose his mind in here.” Minho gestures to Jisung, the boy currently squatting on the outskirts of the dancers and watching them interact. 

“Let’s go then.” With that, they get back to business. At some point, the rapper decides to pull his phone out and play a few games, feeling bored with each one that he tries. He sets it down and pulls a pen out of his pocket, beginning to draw on himself. He gives himself a little solar system on his left wrist and a compass on his forearm. He’s needlessly shading it when the music stops, grabbing his full attention. Felix grins at him and his heart melts. What a cutie.

“Your torture is over! Tell everyone how you feel.” He holds his hand as if he’s holding a microphone, talking to a TV screen or large studio audience. 

“I feel sleepy, Jim.” Felix fakes a huge chuckle.

“Oh, you kids these day and your delightful humor! Off to Jimmy with sports!” 

Jisung scoffs, “Really? Couldn’t even come up with a different name?” 

Felix pouts innocently, “Jim and Jimmy are different.” 

“Are not! You totally piggybacked on mine!” 

Hyunjin giggles, settling down beside Jisung, “He's right, Lix.” A triumphant squawk comes out of the small boy and he sticks his tongue out at his gaping friend. Minho finishes gathering his things and calls to Jisung.

“Let’s go, Ji. I’m taking you to the movies.” 

“Fun!” Said boy jumps up and hugs Felix goodbye first, squeezing him. When he hugs Hyunjin, he’s held tightly, it feels good. The older pulls away and plants a kiss on his forehead, running a hand through his hair. 

“Talk later?” Again with that voice.

“Yeah. See you!” Jisung smiles then walks out with the oldest boy, excited to watch a movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so. Hear me out. I wanna do a time skip. Kinda speed up to the part where they date because I have more plot planned for then than I do for the before at this point. Would you want that?? Or should I keep on like this for a few more chapters?? Do you wanna read minsung's friend date?? 
> 
> I really wanna update again this weekend, please let me know what you wanna read!
> 
> Comments are really helpful and reading them makes my day, kudos are also very appreciated. Thank you for reading! ♡♡


	8. are you sure?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “are you hungry?” 
> 
> “When am I not hungry?” 
> 
> “Okay, let’s go.” 
> 
> \--
> 
> Minho and Jisung have a cute little friend in which they tackle big topics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Second update of the weekend, yay! I really hope you guys like it and I wanna say thank you to those who comment! It really means a lot to me ♡♡
> 
> As always: any added character traits are NOT a reflection of my opinions or beliefs and are used for the sake this story only. I am not diagnosing real Han Jisung with anxiety nor am I accusing anyone of anything. Thank you for reading~~♡

Minho lets Jisung pick the movie. Probably because he knows that the younger will whine and complain until he gets what he wants. A side-effect from being spoiled by his friends. Nonetheless, he picks a wonderfully tasteful film. 

Frozen II. 

When Jisung picks, Minho shakes his head with a big grin and holds up two tickets for Frozen II. Purchased last night. 

“How did you know?” 

Minho shrugs and heads to the concessions counter, ordering popcorn and an icee for them to share. We don’t do spoilers in this house but let’s leave at; they each enjoyed the movie immensely, laughing more loudly than necessary and excitedly listening to all the songs. Jisung might have cried but that’s nobody’s business other than his own. And Minho, by default. 

As they make their way out of the theater house, disoriented and squinting, Minho asks, “are you hungry?” 

“When am I not hungry?” 

“Okay, let’s go.” 

“INTO THE UNKNOWWWNNNNNNN.” Jisung’s shout startles children and adults alike and gets a playful slap that tells him he won’t be the only one acting like that soon. The car ride to their usual restaurant is filled with animated discussion of the movie, sharing their favorite parts and arguing about subtleties that don’t really matter but they act like they’re all that do. 

“I liked it.” Minho concludes as he parks the car.

“Me too, hyung. I really did.” Jisung practically runs out of the car and to the front door, looking like a kid waiting for his mom to close the gap so that he can keep going. The ladies who work there all recognize them at this point, one pointing out that their regular table is available. 

Of course, they order way too much food. It’s a family-owned shop that sells traditional Korean food so tteopokki is a must, and bulgolgi, obviously. What’s a meal without some noodles and rice too? When they order, the waiter is fully judging them but neither really care. 

“So, let’s chat.” 

Jisung raises his eyebrows at the formality in his voice but finds comfort in his smile, “About what?”

“I wanna know what’s going on with you and Hyunjin. Like, do you really like him?” 

“Well, yeah. Of course I do. Why? Is that a bad choice?” 

“No, not at all. Even though it bugged me that I had to go save you when you were with him, Hyunjin’s a really good guy and you guys seem to get along well. I just wanted to know, like, why? I guess? Is it because he’s pretty?” 

“No? I mean, it helps. But I like his personality. He’s really observant and considerate, hanging out with him is fun. It’s not really driven by his looks.” 

“Are you thinking you’d want to date him?” 

Jisung pauses, feeling a rush to his head as Minho's question forces him to consider something he’s been avoiding. The waiter comes with their abundance of food and Jisung hums while filling his mouth with different foods, indicating that he's thinking. The older boy waits patiently, beginning his meal too. 

“Would it bug you, if I did?” 

Minho looks shocked at the question. “No? I want you to be happy. I guess I just don’t want to be abandoned or replaced.” He says it casually but Jisung knows better than to believe that his comment is offhanded. 

“I couldn’t replace you even if I tried. You know that, hyung.” 

“I know, but why didn’t you even tell me you wrote a new song? I had to hear it from Chris. I know that I won’t always hear things first but I want to, at least, hear them from you.” Minho doesn’t sound mad, he's even eating at a regular pace, but Jisung feels guilty. 

“I'm sorry. I was really excited to show Hyunjin and then things snowballed and I totally forgot. I really am gonna do my best not to neglect our friendship. And if I do, call me the fuck out. Just like I will if I start getting jealous of your closeness with Chris.” That gets Jisung's chopsticks knocked down. Both boys laugh, satisfied that they’ve cleared the air between them. It’s only when the younger boy has his cheeks full of food does he think of something else to say so he makes a loud noise at the back of his throat, hitting the table and meeting Minho’s narrowed eyes with his wide ones. He chews fast and swallows hard, “Tell me how everything got started with Chris.” 

“Well, we’ve always been close but after Matthew-hyung broke up with him, he came to me for support. He told me everything and I helped him as best as I could. At some point, I started getting the warm fuzzies every time I talked to him. Then he’d smile and I’d actually blush!! But I’m just too scared to tell him.” Minho liking someone is really cute because he’s either confident or shy but he’s always passionate and sure of his feelings. 

Jisung takes another rice cake into his mouth, “Maybe you should just go for it.” 

“Easy for you to say, you got half of mankind whipped for you.” 

“Not true!” He gets a stuck-out tongue in response. “Look, he’s a really understanding guy so if he doesn’t feel the same, it’s not like he’d just drop you in all aspects. Come on, look at us. We went as far as trying it all out and when we weren’t feeling it, we kept on as friends. We’re still annoying and stuck like glue. I recommend.” He concludes with a thumbs up. 

“I’ll think about it. Enough boy talk. Today is about me, bitch.” And with that, the boys are back to their regularly scheduled nonsense. They quickly finish up their food (yes, ALL of it) and Minho pays the check before Jisung can even look at the bill. 

“That’s rude.” 

“Your face is rude, let’s go.” Jisung doesn’t know where they’re going, he can be taking him to his death and he’ll go willingly because he just trusts this guy that much. He doesn’t ask either, opting to scream “INTO THE UNKNOWN” as loudly as possible on loop. Does he get yelled at? Surprisingly, no. Minho starts joining in and it becomes infinitely more fun. The loud boy doesn’t even notice when the car is parked. 

“We’re here.”

“Wha-" He looks outside and almost shouts when his eyes meet their location. “Really?? Promise?” they’re at a vintage music store. Minho brings Jisung when he’s having a hard time and buys him one record that he feels he can’t leave without. 

Minho calmly follows the boy who runs out, “You can pick two.” 

Jisung pauses at the door, “Are you sure?” 

“Yup, whichever you want. Go crazy.” And he does. The boy runs in and begins his search immediately, pulling out vinyl records and examining their contents. He brings Minho over to the ones that truly excite him and shortly rants about the significance they hold to him. Just because he can. This is something fun for him, he hardly ever buys himself records because he considers them something that is technically unnecessary. His friend knows this and will treat him to a new record every now and then. It’s exciting, he can look for hours. Today, he has an idea of what he’s looking for. 

“Hey, Minnie, what’s that one song? The really gay one that sounds colorful.” 

“Girls and Boys?” 

“Yes! Who’s it by?”

“Blur?” 

“Yeah! Okay, thank you!” and his search begins, eyes raking the rows of labeled records to find the one that owns his heart. He comes across many that pique his interest on the way but he doesn’t want to let himself get distracted and forget, this is an album he’s been wanting for a while. When he finds it, he jumps up and down in excitement, eyes trained on the pretty album art of a melting LED ice cream. He pulls it out and hugs it to his chest. “Hyung, I want this one please.” 

“Of course, Sungie. You got one more.” The older smiles warmly, reaching out to hold the record for him so that he can keep browsing the rest. 

“Are you completely sure?” 

“More sure than you have ever been in your life.”

Jisung hums, “that’s not saying much, you know.” Then he runs to the other aisle, saving himself from a merciless punch in the arm. His next pick is the soundtrack for Hamilton because that show goes hard and it’s soundtrack goes harder. He’s practically vibrating as he stands by Minho, watching him pay and make small talk with the cashier. 

“Here you go, sir.” Minho hands the bag over with an air of casualness that contradicts his formal tone and Jisung giggles.

“Thank you, this is really so super nice of you.” 

“It’s no biggie.” They quickly climb into Minho’s car, the air biting much more harshly now. 

“Do you have more planned?” He stares as his friend goes through all the motions to start his car and get heating and music going before he pulls out. 

“I was thinking we go to my place and play games then you can sleep over.” 

“But I have work early tomorrow.” 

“We’ll swing by your place for your things and I’ll drop you off at work in the morning.” 

“Okay!” 

By the time the boys get to Minho’s apartment, it’s dark and freezing, the two darting inside with their hands full of Jisung’s things. They settle easily and start their routine, gathering snacks and blankets in the living room and turning on the switch, ready to play Mario Party. What better game to test your patience and friendship? It’s clear by the halfway point of their game that Jisung is going to lose tragically but that only encourages him to make an even bigger effort, thinking his moves through on a level that he never really bothered with before. 

It proves to be useless, he loses to a maniacally laughing Minho and pouts. “This game is dumb anyway.” 

They throw their controls down. “What do you wanna do, now?” 

“Drugs.” 

“No.” 

“Let’s go to the club.”

“Ew, what?” Minho’s response gets a laugh out of the younger boy. 

“Dude, I don’t know! I usually space out in my free time, thank you very much.” 

Minho opens his mouth to respond but it dies in the air as soon as his phone rings, he checks the caller and stands up, “I’ll be right back.” Then he disappears behind his bedroom door. Jisung throws himself back on the couch, laying across it with a big sigh. He easily gets bored and pulls his phone out, opening his messages. He smiles when he sees that his thread with Hyunjin is highlighted by a new message.

Jinnie: hey cutie, having a fun day?

Sungie: mh hm~ but minho took a call so I’m bored  
Sungie: all alone ):  
Sungie: abandoned 

Jinnie: tragic  
Jinnie: a true modern tragedy

Sungie: shut up you little hoe

Jisung likes their dynamic. It’s fun but it excites him too, even when they’re bickering, they’re flirting. 

Jinnie: no no you’re right  
Jinnie: nobody should leave a sweet little prince all alone like that

The nickname makes Jisung sit up so fast, he gets dizzy. His face is hot and his body is buzzing. He’s never been called a prince before. He thinks he likes it? But he’s too flustered to decide that. He thanks everything that has ever existed that they’re texting and he’s able to conceal his true reaction. 

Sungie: exactly ): rescue me

Jinnie: I wish I could, little prince

The second instance brings out just as strong of a reaction as the first and he has to put his phone down to gather his bearings. As if comically timed by a cruel god, Jisung hears shuffling in Minho’s room that indicates his return to the outside realm. He sighs big (yet again) and sends a quick text back.

Sungie: oh mean one is returning, wish me well, I shall catch thee later baby 

He flops back in time with Minho coming into view, carrying a pillow. “let’s watch Netflix.” 

So they do, after washing up and collecting blankets to layer on top of themselves, the boys settle into their usual cuddling positions. Jisung hugs Minho tight, enjoying the warmth he receives from being trapped between the boy and a mountain of blankets. He falls asleep easily, feeling more calm than he has in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oop! 
> 
> So, I'll try getting an update out this upcoming week because I'm going to see them in concert this week and I'll be quite busy!! 
> 
> Thank you so much for your kind comments and for the kudos, it really encourages me and means a lot to me! ♡♡♡


	9. go alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lix: let’s go out tonight  
> Lix: new rules  
> Lix: me, you, binnie, chris, and minho
> 
> Squirrel-boy: um I don’t know lixie
> 
> \--
> 
> Jisung has a fun night out with his friends - at the bar Hyunjin is working at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! Okay. I'm back. This chapter is extra long as an apology for the lateness ㅠㅠ I really hope you enjoy it!! Thank you so much for reading~♡♡
> 
> This chapter is a bit more teen-rated but nothing too spicy happens, I swear it.
> 
> As always: Any and all added character traits are included for the sake of this story and do NOT reflect my thoughts or opinions on the real life people. I am NOT diagnosing real life Han Jisung with anxiety. I love them and you, thank you~

The following day is spent serving coffee and ignoring Hyunjin's messages. He doesn’t want to deal with the fact that sleepy him really called him “baby". Like…why would he do such a foolish thing? Who said that was okay? Where was his babysitter? He looks at his phone again, now on break, staring at the messages Hyunjin left him. 

Jinnie: baby???  
Jinnie: don’t leave me after calling me that ):  
Jinnie: I feel dumped 

Those were all sent last night, Jisung thinks he may have been having a mini crisis himself. There’s only one from this morning. 

Jinnie: good morning, little prince, I hope you have a great day (: 

Jisung’s just having a little heart attack over his actions and he can’t handle talking to Hyunjin right now. He can’t believe he did that. He doesn’t call people names like that lightly. Not people who are talking to him in the way that Hyunjin is. People who he has a mild crush on. People who are beautiful and sweet and funny. He sets his phone down and it buzzes as soon as it meets the table fully. He stares for a second, heart dropping to his stomach. Felix’s contact name flashes across his screen and he releases a breath. 

Lix: what time do you get off work?

Squirrel-boy: at 8 why?

Lix: let’s go out tonight  
Lix: new rules  
Lix: me, you, binnie, chris, and minho

Squirrel-boy: um I don’t know lixie

Lix: come on it’ll be fun  
Lix: jinnie works tonight  
Lix: I can pick you up and make you nice and hot for him

Squirrel-boy: I’m always hot?  
Squirrel-boy: but fine pick me up on time 

Lix: I got you baby ;)))

Jisung rolls his eyes, deciding that the rest of his day is going to pass slowly as he waits for his friend to walk in the door. He figures that he can pretend he wasn’t answering Hyunjin for the sake of surprising him at work but he isn’t sure that it’s convincing enough. He’ll try anyway, in the hopes of avoiding a real confrontation with the boy. His day goes on peacefully, a typical kind of day that feels like it passes on autopilot. That is, of course, until the freckled Aussie strolls in with the cutest smile gracing his face. 

“You free yet?” 

Jisung checks the time, “In five minutes, I will be. Want a coffee?” 

“Sure! Thanks! It’ll be good to prevent my destruction at the hands of alcohol.” He sits at the bar with perfect posture and perfect manners. 

The puffy-cheeked boy makes him a chocolate chip mocha, taking his time so it becomes the last drink he makes tonight. He smirks when the hand hits the 8 right as he sets the cup in front of Felix. “Be right back, enjoy.” He receives a small wave of a tiny hand as he disappears into the break room to grab all his things. 

Is he surprised to see that, in the two minutes he was gone, Felix has finished his entire drink? Yes. Should he be? No.

When they’re in Felix’s apartment, the pretty boy moves around like clockwork. As if he spent his whole day planning exactly what he’s about to do. He reaches for clothes that he had sitting neatly on his desk, handing them to Jisung with a serious look on his face. “Put these on, no you may not have a say in what you wear, yes I’m sure it’ll look good, now go.” The way he knocks out all of Jisung’s arguments before he can make them both astounds and offends him. With a half-hearted pout, he takes the clothes into Felix's restroom and takes a deep breath, making eye contact with himself through the mirror.

He can do this.

It will be fun.

He will try.

He makes these promises then wastes no time in examining what Felix picked out for him. Black leather pants that he knows will be annoying to put on and take off, a flowy white shirt that he can tell he needs to tuck in to the pants, and a long chain to top it all off. He starts with the basics and decides to ask Felix for help with the chain since he really isn’t sure how he’s supposed to wear it. 

“Hey, Lix, how does this go?” Jisung walks out keeping his eyes trained on the chain so when he looks up to see how the boy is dressed, it startles him slightly. His outfit is simple but made him look like a god; black jeans belted at the waist with a black and white, diagonally striped button up tucked in and converse that matched the monochromatic theme. “whoa, you look good.” 

Felix blushes and smiles softly, “thank you! Here, let me put the chain on you.” He took it into his small hands and slung it over the smaller boy's shoulder, hooking it on his back-left belt loop then the other end on his front-left belt loop so that it sat prettily over his shoulder. “Wear your boots, you look hot.”

His cheeks felt hot, “thank you.” He gets pulled over to the bed where Felix laid out plenty of makeup in all shades. He lets himself get sat down and positioned for optimal lighting and semi-optimal comfort. When Felix reaches for the palettes and sets to work, he has a hard time keeping up with which colors are being blended onto his eyelids. He catches a gold glitter and some black but it all feels the same against his eyes as the brushes run over them in all different directions. Eyeliner and mascara are quickly applied then his cheeks are blushed and highlighted delicately. He hasn’t even seen himself but he feels so pretty already. Felix brushes a tint over his lips and grins at Jisung, sitting back and staring. 

“Go look.” 

So he does, he stands slowly and heads to the mirror where it takes him a moment to process his reflection. His features aren’t changed, just enhanced. His eyes have gold glitter accented by black on the edges that widen yet sharpen them at once, his lips are a light pink and his face looks flushed like he’s been up to no good all evening. Almost like he’s drunk. He likes it. He looks cute and hot at the same time and it stirs a confidence in him that he hasn’t felt in a while. He grins and hurries out to engulf Felix in a rough hug. “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too, silly. So, I take it you like it?” 

“I really do.” 

“I think you should leave your hair down as it is, it looks cuter like that. I’ll just tousle it a bit so it doesn’t look too polished.” And he does and it only takes like 5 minutes. “Okay. Now let me get ready real quick and we’ll go.” So Jisung watches his friend work on himself, mixing gold and pink and brown and creating a soft look on his eyes that makes him look more angelic than he already does. He styles his hair to part and show his forehead and tints his cheeks and lips in a light pink. He’s gorgeous. Jisung loves him so much. He slips his own boots on and smiles his cute, nose-scrunching grin. “Ready!” 

“Let’s go?” Jisung’s already standing and gathering his necessities: phone, wallet, lip gloss. 

“Yeah, Binnie, Min, and Chris are already over there.” Felix pauses as he picks up his keys and opens the door, “Binnie says that Hyunjin looks damn good serving drinks.” 

“oh." His interest is piqued. Maybe more than he’s willing to admit. Maybe on the walk there, he’s distracted by imagining what Hyunjin must look like serving drinks. Maybe he pictures the older boy’s serious face that he adopts when focusing and hopes that he looks something like that. Jisung will neither confirm or deny that, but he will admit that they arrive at the club with him only blindly following Felix. 

“Hey,” Felix tugs on his arm so that he can face him, “do I look okay?” 

“Of course you do. Why are you acting like it’s your first date?” 

“We’ve never gone out to drink or dance before.” The nerves were obvious on the boy’s face.

“Don’t worry, Changbin’s so whipped for you that you could show up in pajamas and he’d still parade you around all the same.” Jisung wraps his arm around Felix and steers him towards the door, “relax, you’re beautiful. And besides that, you’re the one who insisted we be here so I will fight you if you keep this shit up.” That pulls a loud giggle out of the boy that is quickly drowned out by the overwhelmingly loud music flooding from beyond the doors. They get carded almost immediately after they step foot inside, it’s not shocking, they know how young they look. The place is full of people and it takes Jisung a moment to gather himself so that he can properly scan the area for his friends. Not shocking at all that he finds them at a table, laughing around empty glasses. What is shocking is that Chris has his arms around Minho and the boy is looking small and almost shy. With Jisung, he was the confident one. But this brings out a whole other side of him that he didn’t even know exists. 

Changbin notices them first, his eyes raking over Felix in a way that makes Jisung feel like he shouldn’t be watching. “Hey baby.” He wraps his arms around the freckled boy and kisses his cheek.

“Hey babe, sorry we’re late.” They’re lead to the table where the rest of their friends are waiting. Chris and Minho look good, powerful even. “No big deal, right guys? 

The other two nod and Minho takes Jisung into a big hug before the small boy is yanked out by Chris who squeezes him even more tightly. He feels like he should’ve expected that his two most affectionate friends getting together would mean even more love for him but he never really looks at things that way. He can’t tell if he likes it yet, given the fact that he’s being smothered and all. Chris speaks first, “He was my friend first.” 

“Yeah, well he likes me more.” Minho starts tugging at his hand.

“Okay, well, he likes me most and we’re going to get drinks.” Felix slides in and easily takes Jisung, Chris being much too soft for both boys to deny the younger Aussie. The walk to the bar feels long. Maybe it’s his pounding heart. Or it could be the millions of people he needs to push past. Or maybe it’s because, when they finally get there, the view of Hyunjin seems like it’s been waiting for him this whole night. He’s wearing a white suede button down that hangs loosely off his body, the front tucked into black jeans and tied by a white belt around his waist and his hair styled up, out of his gorgeous face. His face is serious and he looks almost intimidating as he scans the crowd. Is this the same silly, soft-spoken boy he’s been falling for? It feels strange to see him this way. But when Jisung focuses on his eyes, he see that they’re just as soft as they always are. This is definitely the same cute boy. 

“Go alone.” 

“What?” 

“Just trust me, go.” He gets pushed over before he can argue anything and braces himself as he moves himself over to Hyunjin’s line of sight. There are several guys falling over themselves for his attention but he decides to ignore the irritation itching him and waits instead, just a turn of the head out of sight. 

A guy right next to Jisung leans into the bar and speaks loudly, “hey gorgeous, over here!” it makes the small boy want to gag. However, it’s saved by the look on Hyunjin's face when he turns to find that Jisung is standing right in front of him. His eyes light up and he smiles so widely that his eyes nearly close in their crescent shape. 

“Sungie!! You came here? When?” 

“Just now.”

“I thought you were mad at me.” He pouts and Jisung's heart does that annoying fluttering thing. 

“Of course not, I just-" 

“Wait one little second, I’m gonna take my break so we can hang out a little.” Before he can even respond, the tall boy is making his way through a door at the back wall behind the bar and Jisung keeps his eyes trained on it for his reappearance.

Imagine his surprise when a gentle hand lands on the small of his back, accompanied by a familiar giggle when Jisung jumps and whips his head around to a smiley Hyunjin. “You scared me, you brat!!” he smacks his arm and pouts. The older boy kisses his pout quickly and mumbles an apology against his lips. “Yeah, whatever, I guess it’s okay.” Arms wrap firmly around his waist and he tugs him off to a corner of club, they settle by the wall, still linked together. 

“You were saying?” 

He quickly realizes that he can’t bring himself to lie to him. “I just…I didn’t answer you because I freaked out.” 

There’s confusion all over the boy’s pretty face and Jisung hates to see it. “Over what?” 

“I called you baby.” 

“I liked it.” 

The blatant honesty in his voice startles Jisung and he meets his eyes. “You did?” 

“Of course, I did.” Hyunjin runs his hands along Jisung's sides, “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know, I feel like it was too much.” He frowns at the ground, winding his fingers in Hyunjin’s pretty shirt. Hyunjin pulls him closer and sighs.

“I don’t think it was. But maybe I’m misunderstanding what you want from this?” That panics Jisung even more and he finds himself tightening his hands on the older boy even though his grip is just as firm. 

“No!” He meets wide eyes and gathers himself for a moment, “I want us to build something solid and real. I’m not playing with you or stringing you along. I promise. I guess I just have this fear of…I don’t know. Confirming it?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Like, I really like you at this point and I don’t really have the best history in that.” 

“Like, it hasn’t gone well for you?” 

“Yeah, you could say that.” 

“Does it comfort you to hear that I really like you too? And that I’d do my best to make it a beautiful experience for you?” 

“If you mean it.” 

“Of course, little prince.” Jisung's heart flutters with the nickname. 

“Is it weird? It’s been like a week.” 

“It’s not like we’re discussing marriage, silly. It’s just about dating. If you wanna make me yours, I want you to know that I want that too. And if you don’t want that, I’m okay with that.” 

“I do want that. But I don’t want it to happen in the corner of a club with our friends searching for us.” 

“Rain check on that?” 

“Yeah.” Jisung kisses Hyunjin quickly. “How long is your break?” 

“Hour.” Hyunjin leans in and kisses him again, lingering against him for longer this time and making his head spin. When they part, Jisung finds himself chasing after his lips, earning him another peck. “Let’s go join your friends before I keep you all to myself for an hour.” He giggles and keeps him arm firmly around Hyunjin as they walk to the table occupied by some of their favorite people. 

“Oh how kind of you to join us.” Minho makes grabby hands at Jisung from his spot in Chris's arms and the smaller boy scoffs.

“No no no,” Chris pushes Minho's arms down, “he comes with me, I haven’t seen him in a few days.” 

“Well, you’re both wrong.” Hyunjin keeps his arms tightly around Jisung's waist and the younger boy wonders what’ll come out of his mouth but what does isn’t what he expects, “he does whatever he wants.” 

Jisung leans into him, “I’ll stay here.” There’s collective groaning, “it’s not like I’m gone, jeez guys.” 

“Well,” Felix slides an unidentified drink to him, “I’m half way to drunk and I need my travel buddy to join me.” 

“What is this?” 

Before Felix can answer, Hyunjin picks the drink up and takes a small sip of it, setting it back down in front of Jisung, “Cherry vodka and Sprite. Tastes good, you’ll like it.” 

“Okay.” So he takes his own drink and finds himself feeling like it contains no alcohol at all. It’s just sweet and he finishes the drink easily. Everyone’s talking and laughing along with each other and it feels good to be surrounded by his friends like this. Even though the dynamics in their group are changing, the fundamental core of it is the same. Soft hands rub over his waist and he realizes he’s been bouncing to the music. 

“Wanna go dance?” is whispered right into his ear and who is he to say no? So he nods and Hyunjin invites everyone else to join them on the floor but only Felix and Changbin do. Chris gave some excuse about keeping the table but Jisung’s sure he and Minho are just gonna make out while they’re gone. 

It’s crowded but they find a space that’s open enough for them to squeeze in and dance. The music is bass-heavy and provocative in nature, leading Jisung to sway his hips, bouncing ever so slightly. Hyunjin hooks an arm loosely around his waist, moving with him but keeping a polite distance between their bodies. When he looks over, Felix and Changbin are dancing right on each other, bodies and mouths attached and Jisung feels his cheeks heat up with the need to turn away. 

He turns himself to face Hyunjin and wraps his arms around his neck, enjoying the constant of the older boy’s hands on his waist. “My break is ending soon. Make sure to come visit me every now and then.” 

“Of course, I will.” Jisung plays with his long hair at the base of his neck. “Thank you, for wasting your break on me.” 

Hyunjin kisses him sweetly, “It wasn’t a waste. It was a beautiful way to spend my time.” Another kiss is planted on his cheek and he feels himself giggle. 

“Thank you, baby.” His heart races with the risk of pulling out that nickname and it only worsens when wide eyes focus on his. 

But then a smile folds them and he relaxes tenfold. “No need to thank me. And if anyone gives you a hard time out here you come to me, okay? I’ll help you no matter what.” 

“Okay.” This time, Jisung kisses Hyunjin. Sweet and soft, but not as fast as the others have been. He wants to enjoy the feeling of the other’s plush lips against his before he’s forced to part with him for the night. 

“Walk me back to the bar?” 

“Of course.” 

They keep their hands linked on the way to the bar, pushing past dancing bodies with only mild urgency. Neither is in much of a rush to get Hyunjin back to work. They stand in front of the crowded counter for a few seconds, making dumb jokes to the beat of the music. Hyunjin tells him to be good and have fun, leaving him with a million kisses on his cheeks and lips as moves back to his spot. The population around the bar increases fives times as much when people realize that the pretty boy is back to work. Jisung smiles as he watches him get back into rhythm before going back to his friends. 

Felix and Changbin are still dancing drunkenly on the dance floor and Minho and Chris are talking calmly at the table. He goes up to them and takes each of their hands, pulling lightly. “come dance with me.” He whines and pouts, knowing the boys find him cute enough for it to work. Sure enough, they stand up “reluctantly” and follow him over to where the other couple are. Does Jisung position himself in a certain way so he knows that Hyunjin can see him? 

Maybe. 

Jisung sandwiches himself between his two friends, feeling comfortable with the two people who take care of him the most. He lets himself take another shot and dance a bit more provocatively, held onto by his friends. Chris keeps his hands on Jisung’s waist and Minho keeps one linked with Chris's while the other is placed around his shoulders. They dance on each other freely, enjoying each other’s company. Every now and then, he would catch Hyunjin's eyes, the boy staring openly as he dances. He’s not going to lie, it encourages him to up the heat a bit. He likes having the other so focused on him. 

He leans back into Chris, rolling his hips more as he pulls Minho closer to them as well. He hears a loud gasp, “excuse me?” And then Felix is squeezing himself in between Minho and Jisung, facing the smaller boy and beginning to roll his body into his, “when you hoe it up like this, you hoe it up with me, sir.” Jisung laughs and wraps his arm around Felix's waist, letting himself give in and continue his dance between the Aussies. Soon, the group of friends are a mess of boys dancing on each other in not-so-appropriate ways. Jisung catches Hyunjin's eyes again and smiles.

He shouts, “I’ll get us a round of shots.” As he pulls himself away from all the hands on him and runs over to the bar. Hyunjin gives him a sweet smile and leans onto the countertop, giving all his attention up to the tired boy. 

“Having fun out there?” 

“Yes! I like dancing!” 

Hyunjin laughs, “I can see that, silly boy. What brings you over here?” 

“You.” 

“Me?” 

“Yeah. Also, vodka?” 

“Is that you asking for a round of shots?” There’s amusement all over Hyunjin's face.

“Please, Hyuni?” 

“Well, it is my job.” He chuckles as he pulls five shot glasses out, filling them with a flavored vodka. He sets them on a tray and hands it over to Jisung. “Bring me the tray back, yeah?” 

“Okay. How much is it?” 

“Five.” 

He doesn’t know why but he understands. “Okay.” He leans in and kisses Hyunjin. Five pecks on his lips but before the older boy can stand up straight, Jisung pulls him in once more for a longer kiss, pressing against him firmly then pulling back all at once. “that’s your tip, kind sir.” 

“Pleasure doing business with you.” 

“And with you, baby. Catch you later.” He winks and turns, carefully balancing the little glasses full of clear liquid. He finds his friends back at the table, high fiving and laughing loud. “Dinner is served.” 

A chorus of exaggerated “wow"s erupts from the boys as greedy hands claim their glasses. They hold them up in an unstable toast.

“To Sungie opening up!” comes out of the pretty freckled boy.

“To Sungie!!” everyone parrots before emptying their glasses happily. 

Here’s something everyone needs to know: a drunk Jisung is a clingy, needy Jisung. His friends are all too familiar with this fact. So, it comes as no surprise when he ends up in Minho's lap, holding Chris’s hands and pressing kisses onto Felix's cheek while begging Changbin to give him a hug. He takes more deep drinks from a strong drink that tastes vaguely of fruit. He leans on Changbin's shoulder with a sigh, twisting Chris's rings on his fingers. 

“Who’s gonna dance with me?” 

“Baby, you need some water.” Felix gets up and Jisung whines loud, reaching for his friend. “I’ll be back, you need to drink water.” 

“Bring me Hyuni.” 

“He’s working, sweetie.” Changbin rubs his arms, smiling at him softly. 

“That’s mean.” He pouts and leans back into Minho, trying to pull the rest of his friends in with him. They indulge him, letting him take all the affection he wants. 

They know he feels ten times more when he’s drunk. 

Felix comes back grinning, “I brought you a surprise!!” The small boy lazily regards his friend, keeping his head on Minho's shoulder. However, this changes when Hyunjin emerges from the crowd holding a glass of iced water. He sits up and grins widely. 

“Jinnie!!” He opens his arms, what he’s asking for is obvious to all his friends but only because they’ve seen it many times before. Needless to say, there’s a collective shock when Hyunjin takes the disoriented boy into his arms and sits down with him in his lap. Jisung hums happily and cuddles into him. Hyunjin raises the glass to the small boy’s lips.

“Come on, let’s drink some water.” Jisung lets the water get poured down his throat, taking big drinks as he holds onto Hyunjin's hand over the glass. He finishes it in one go, sighing once he’s swallowed the last bit. 

“Thank you.” 

“It’s no problem, little prince. You wanna go home yet?” He shakes his head no. “it’s late, aren’t you sleepy?” 

He nods. “Sleepy.” 

“Then let’s take you home.” 

“Wanna stay with you.” 

“Okay, so let’s go to my home?” 

“Okay.” 

Hyunjin turns to find the whole group staring. “Lix, are you ready to go home?” 

Felix nods slowly, “Yeah, I’m gonna bring Binnie with me, okay?” 

“Of course.” He sits Jisung up, “let’s stand, come on.” He guides him patiently, letting the small boy support his weight against him as he struggles to find his balance. Chris and Minho walk out too, everyone heading out together. Hyunjin gives everyone a one-armed hug, cuddling into each of his friends. Minho squeezes him extra tight.

“Thanks, for taking care of him. He gets like this every time he’s drunk. It’s why he doesn’t drink much.” 

“I think he’s cute like this. I like taking care of him.” 

“Keep it up, Jinnie. It’s a good look on you.” They share a knowing smile before Minho plants a kiss on Jisung’s cheek and gives him a hug goodbye. The rest of the boys take less time saying bye, spending more time loving on Jisung than anything else. Changbin stops Hyunjin when he turns them to walk in the direction of the apartment. 

“I drove here.” So they follow Changbin to his car, Felix sliding into the passenger’s seat while Hyunjin helps Jisung into the backseat before sliding in beside him. The younger immediately cuddles up to him and smiles, settling in for the short ride. Hyunjin brushes the hair out of his eyes, smiling softly at the way he nuzzles into his hand. 

“You feeling okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

At the apartment, Changbin helps Felix change before the Aussie comes out of his room to help Jisung change into the clothes Hyunjin gave him. Another hoodie he’s sure he’s saying a permanent goodbye to and a pair of sweatpants that he knows will be far too large for him. Cute, small boy. Felix pulls him into his room and helps him into the comfy clothes, making sure the boy doesn’t fall over. 

“Where do you wanna sleep?”

“With Hyuni.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I want Hyuni.” 

“Okay, go join him, baby.” 

He grins at Felix and hurries off to find that Hyunjin changed too, a large t-shirt and sweatpants on his body. He’s leaning against his headboard, playing on his phone. Jisung stands in front of him and speaks quietly, “Can I sleep here?” 

Hyunjin jumps at his voice and drops his phone with a yelp. “you scared me!” 

“Oops.” 

“You can sleep here, I’ll take the couch.” He stands and Jisung grabs his hands. 

“No.”

“No?”

“I want to sleep here,” he sits and pulls Hyunjin down with him. “with you.” 

“You sure you won’t freak out when you wake up cuddled up to me?” 

“Doesn’t matter.” 

Hyunjin smiles and nods, scooting to lay on the other side of his bed, closer to the wall. Jisung follows happily, pulling the blankets up his body and snuggling in close to Hyunjin. He lays his head on his chest, intertwining his fingers with Hyunjin's and laying their hands on the older boy’s stomach. He feels warm and comfortable in his arms, held tightly by arms that easily fit completely around him. 

“I like you.”

“I like you too, little prince.” 

That last thing he’s aware of before he falls asleep is a kiss being pressed to the top of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. 
> 
> We did that.
> 
> Okay, I'm really not sure how many people are still reading but if you are, thank you so so much. I really appreciate your interest in my story and it makes me happy to think that there are people enjoying my writing. I hope you continue to enjoy it ♡♡


	10. you weren't supposed to see that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinnie: you’re gonna make me go broke in hoodies 
> 
> Sungie: worry not, your benevolence will be repaid in due time
> 
> \---
> 
> Hyunjin and Jisung are swamped with busy days and some ~drama~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...ha ha  
> ..
> 
> I'm sorry! I really am, I didn't mean to go M.I.A for a whole ass month like this and I really feel horrible for it. I had a lot going on in my personal and school life and I just couldn't make the time to bring out a quality chapter that I felt comfortable posting. To make it up to you guys, I made this one as long as three regular chapters and I'm already working on the next one!! 
> 
> I will be uploading much more frequently but that'll be in my post-chapter notes. :) Thank you for reading and sticking around ♡
> 
> As always: any added character traits are not reflective of my personal opinions and are NOT meant to accuse or assume anyone or anything. I am NOT diagnosing the real life Han Jisung with anxiety. And I love baby Wooyoung and ATEEZ, I know he would never be who he is in this story. This is pure fiction for the sake of entertainment. Thank you!!

When Jisung wakes up, his head hurts and he’s much too warm. He frowns, patting the hand that’s gripping his waist tightly and trailing another to his hair. He registers his location right after that, his face warming even more at how tangled up he is in Hyunjin. 

Not just in the physical sense. 

Jisung isn’t really fond of how happy he is to be here right now. Despite this, he snuggles more closely to the older boy, pulling the blankets up higher and holding on tight. Naturally, he falls asleep again. 

When he wakes up the second time, it’s to fingers running through his hair and soft humming. He risks a glance to meet soft eyes and fluffy hair. Hyunjin’s lips are even puffier when he’s bloated with sleep and Jisung gets the strong urge to kiss him. 

“Good morning.” His voice is deeper, but whinier too. It’s cute.

“Morning. How long have you been up?” He’s doing his best to be casual but can’t help but think of how neither of them makes any effort to move. 

“Not long.” The fingers stop and settle on Jisung's shoulder. “Are you hungry?” 

“No..?” He thinks about how to explain that he likes to skip breakfast, “I don’t get hungry in the morning.” 

Hyunjin sits up, still holding Jisung to his chest. “I don’t really buy that. So, coffee, tea, or juice?” 

“Coffee?” 

“Great,” their hands are linked now, resting on the smaller boy’s lap. “Eggs, pancakes, or cereal?” 

“Um-" 

“French toast?”

“Yes!” He looks away in embarrassment of his enthusiasm, “I mean, yes please. I like it.” 

“Okay. Give me a quick second, don’t move.” And then Hyunjin is out of the bed and hurrying into the living room. Jisung pouts at the lack of warmth and pulls the blankets around him, smiling at the way Hyunjin's scent envelops him completely. There’s something about it that calms him. “Miss me?” The tall boy slips in with water in one hand and his other fist closed over something small. 

“With my entire soul.” Jisung is sure to scrunch his eyebrows and pout dramatically as he holds a hand to his heart. 

“Well, it was a sacrifice we both had to make because,” He hands the water to Jisung and opens his closed fist to reveal a pill, “we gotta help your pretty little head.” 

“Ibuprofen?” he gets a cute nod in response so he takes the pill quickly and chases it down with an excessive amount of water. “Honestly, I’m surprised it doesn’t hurt worse than it does.” 

“Me too.” Hyunjin shuffles around the room, pulling clothes out. “You were really drunk. Do you remember it all?” 

Jisung pauses as he gets flashbacks to all of his ridiculous antics. “Unfortunately.” 

“Bad?”

“I was really out here hoeing it up like that.” A small clothes pile lands in lap. “What is this?”

“Figured you wanna shower. I borrowed jeans from Lix, you’re both similarly tiny. Underwear too. He swears they’re new ones. You can keep the hoodie you have on now or you can wear my shirt that I put there. Or both.” He shrugs like it’s casual but his cheeks are dusted pink. “I don’t mind, either way.” 

“Thank you.” Jisung knows that this is common hospitality but he can’t help but feel spoiled. 

“You know where the shower is and you can use anything you want. I’ll make breakfast, kay?” 

“Is this a hallucination? Am I dying?” He puts his arms out and acts like he can’t see, “where am I?” 

Hyunjin laughs his beautiful laugh and it feels nice to wake up this way. He lets himself bask in it. “Just get in the shower, you nasty.” 

Jisung groans loud and drags himself out of bed dramatically. His shower is quick, he can hear the commotion of Lix and Bin playing around with Hyunjin. He isn’t used to all this noise right in the morning. It’s nice though, makes him feel less alone. He quickly dresses, pulling his belt tightly around Felix's jeans then tucking Hyunjin’s shirt into them. He pulls the hoodie over his head, planning to steal this one as well. When he steps out, his hair is still wet and he feels like a mess but what gets him more is the way Changbin is just curled up on Hyunjin’s lap and Felix isn’t even batting an eye at it. He quickly figures that this must be common but he never realized that the elder two are that close. He walks further into the common area that’s open between the living room, dining area, and kitchen and first catches the attention of the small Aussie boy who squeals upon seeing Jisung. 

“You look so cuddly!!! Come here!!!” So he walks himself right into Felix's open arms and snuggles into the tight hug he’s being given. “are you hungry?” he nods yes and Felix is quick to pull him into his lap, sliding a plate of French toast in front of them and handing him a fork. 

“Thanks, Lixie.” Jisung immediately tears into the food, enjoying the taste and considering kidnapping Hyunjin so that he can spend every morning like this. Warm and happy. 

Hyunjin comes around now too, Changbin having said something about changing. He slides his hand into Jisung’s hair and drops a kiss on his head, “is it good?” 

He settles for “mh hm!” because his mouth is much too full to speak without it being terribly disgusting to witness. Hyunjin smiles wide and sits next to the boys, toying with the syrup. 

“What are your plans for today?” 

He swallows hard and takes a drink of coffee before answering, “I gotta head to the studio and work on some stuff with Chan and Changbin, we have a gig coming up and we’re less prepared than we’d like to be.” 

“Oh!! When is it?” The dancer looks genuinely happy and interested to hear about this and it excites Jisung. 

“This upcoming Friday.” 

“Where?”

“Casa Mia.”

“What time?” 

“Well, at like, 8? Are you thinking of going?” 

“Of course I’m going!” he says it like it’s so obvious that there’s no reason for Jisung’s question to even be asked. He types something on his phone and smiles at it, showing the rapper that he set an alarm to remind him in case he forgot about it. 

‘Baby Sungie's Show!!’

Felix let out an ugly laugh, “baby Sungie, y’all are whipped. That happened so quick.” He keeps laughing and Jisung fights the urge to punch him.

“Shut up." 

Changbin rejoins them and looms over the stacked boys, “you done eating, Ji?” 

“Yeah, why?” 

“We gotta meet Chan in 20.” 

“Shit!” he jumps up and quickly tidies his dishes, hurrying into Hyunjin's room to gather his few things and coming back out to find Changbin and Felix essentially eating each other and Hyunjin clicking through his phone with a bored expression gracing his features. Jisung manages to approach Hyunjin without the couple noticing him, too wrapped in each other to pay attention to the movement around them. He takes this opportunity and hugs Hyunjin, an inch away from being in his lap. The elder shifts to hug him more tightly and stands slowly, the two letting their limbs resettle in more comfortable positions. The pull away enough to meet eyes and Hyunjin’s expression is so soft and sincere, Jisung feels his gaze burning through him. He doesn’t know how to react. Then Hyunjin is leaning in and he finds himself anticipating the warm press of plush lips against his own but it’s cut short by a loud giggle. When Hyunjin and Jisung turn, Felix looks like he’s been caught doing something wrong.

“Sorry, you guys can go back to making out.” 

Jisung groans and separates himself from Hyunjin, grabbing his things and heading to the door, “let’s go Bin, we’re running late.” They wave quick goodbyes and run out, trying to make it to the studio on time. 

They’re ten minutes late. 

And Chris is not happy about it. 

They waste another fifteen minutes with apologies from the younger two and lots of scolding from the eldest. Chris finally caves when Jisung yells loudly about all the time they’ve wasted and asks him to just punish them for it later. Was that a bad idea? Probably. 

“Guys, I think we should meet up every day.” The trio have been working for five hours now, practicing and writing, planning which songs to use and how to perform them. None of the boys feel all that ready for their gig on Saturday so when Chris mentions this, it’s easy to agree. 

“But when? What are your schedules like?” Jisung himself has a busy week as far as work is concerned. 

“I can meet in the evenings. Like we can start at 5?” Changbin looks between the other two after his suggestion. 

“Yeah, I can do that.” 

Jisung hums, “I can do that but on Wednesday I’m gonna run late, I get out at seven.” 

“That’s fine, Sungie.” Chris smiles warmly, his dimples out on full display. “You guys hungry?” 

The youngest sighs dramatically, “I could eat an entire tree.” 

“What kind of tree?”

“Oak. Aged 200 years.” 

“Damn-" 

“Guys, shut up before I decide not to feed you.” Jisung and Changbin are rudely interrupted by an exasperated Chris who’s already standing at the door- when did he get there?

Jisung jumps up, “yay!! Thank you! I want lots to regain my energy for all the work we’ll be doing!” upon hearing Jisung’s sentence, Changbin groans loud.

“We’re coming back after?” 

“Of course we are!” Chris punches Changbin in the arm and Jisung cringes at the sound of impact alone. “Did you really think we’d have an early night after how hard it’s been to make any progress?” 

“Well, excuse me, dad."

“That’s daddy, to you, sir.” 

Jisung first gags then gasps loudly, gaining the attention of those around him for only a second, “I’m gonna tell Minho you’re cheating on him!” He sing-songs, trying to trap Chris into divulging some secrets about his relationship with Minho. 

“Can’t cheat on someone you’re not dating.”

“That’s fuckboy behavior, dude. Not daddy at all. Your license has been revoked.” 

Maybe Chris would’ve absolutely slaughtered Jisung in a gruesome, bloody mess with his next comeback if Changbin hadn’t started yelling about how they HAVE to get pizza from that place across the street or he WILL die. When they agree to eat there, they get a happy jump and wide grin from the “dark rapper". They order a simple pizza to share, agreeing that complicating the ingredients would only lead to arguments and nobody is trying to have that. Jisung sips on his lemonade happily, enjoying the break they’re having. That is, until the topic of conversation becomes Jisung himself. 

“So,” Changbin starts with a smirk, staring right into the blonde's soul, “You and Hyunjin are moving fast.” 

He can feel how red his cheeks are. “That is not true!” 

“I heard you slept in his bed. With him.” Chris adds, donning a smirk of his own. 

“So? We all share beds all the time.” 

“What you’re saying is—you don’t like him?” 

“No, I do. But it’s not like we’re dating or anything! We just met, after all.” 

“What does time have to do with anything?” Changbin looks a bit more serious now. “Ji, Lix and I started dating like the day after we met.” 

“Yeah, but it’s different. Lix is the cutest human being to ever breathe on this planet.” 

“So are you, you dumb hoe. Just so you know, Hyunjin doesn’t play people. He’s really sensitive and he gets hurt easily. The way he treats you is genuine, I can promise you this.” 

Jisung feels his chest lighten with this reassurance, a second person confirming that Hyunjin is an absolute angel. “Sometimes I feel like I just wanna ask him to be my boyfriend already. Like, I don’t know what’s okay or not okay and I don’t have interest in anyone else anymore because of his stupid amazing personality and I just want to skip to the part where I don’t feel so conflicted about it.” 

Chris takes his hand, a knowing look on his face, “That conflicted feeling will never go away. Not when you care so much about the outcome. But, risking is worth it. You don’t have to do it now. Or this week. Or even next week. Be patient with yourself. Hyunjin is being patient for you and you should, too.” 

“How will I know when the time is right?” 

“You’ll feel it. Just all of a sudden, you won’t be able to hold it in and you’ll have to ask him. That’s when the time is right.” 

“Thank you, hyungs.” He does feel calmer now. More at peace with this situation. But as he thinks about it, he remembers the boy at the center of it all and realizes that he hasn’t checked his messages once today. He quickly pulls it out and checks his notifications. He has two messages. One from Felix and one from Hyunjin. 

Lix: Jinnie really likes you ;)

Jisung rolls his eyes and decides that he won’t dignify that text with a response, not in the mood for teasing and innuendos. He clicks out of the thread and checks the message from Hyunjin. 

Jinnie: you’re gonna make me go broke in hoodies 

He smiles, he likes the way Hyunjin jokes. 

Sungie: worry not, your benevolence will be repaid in due time

Jinnie: I request to state my terms for repayment

Sungie: the court will hear you

Jinnie: you will repay me by wearing my hoodies often  
Jinnie: and letting me see  
Jinnie: shit I should’ve said a date 

Sungie: no takesies backsies  
Sungie: your request will be fulfilled with one condition 

Jinnie: …?

Sungie: take me on a date

Before he can panic about his impulsive confidence, the pizza is brought out to their table and they all dig in rapidly, not paying mind to how messy they’re being. Still, they make sure to share slices equally as they completely annihilate their food. When they’re done, Jisung lets out a loud huff and smiles brightly at their eldest, “Thanks hyungie, I love you.” 

“You’re welcome, dramatic.” He tidies up their table and makes sure that everyone has their things, “let’s get back to work, okay?” 

“If you insist.” 

It takes them another five hours to realize that they’re not going to finish today. It’s much too late and they’re not even halfway through their songs, debating which to perform is taking way too long. They each have their favorites and it’s hard to eliminate them. Each campaign to perform a song includes a rant, push back from the opposed, and the boys all performing it amongst themselves to test it out. 

“Hyungs, I’m tired.” 

“We’re tired too, you little shit.” 

“…okay but I have work tomorrow.” 

“Ji, it’s two in the morning. When does your shift start?” 

“I go in at seven.” That earns him a slap in the arm which makes him yell really loudly despite the fact that it doesn’t hurt much. 

“Why didn’t you say so?!” 

“Dude, I didn’t know what time it was until you said so just now.”

“Well, now you get to sleep at my house, let’s go.” 

“Hyung, I don’t have clothes.” 

“You still have clothes at my place from when you used to stay over a lot.” 

Oh yeah. There was a point in time where Jisung couldn’t go home, he had too many nightmares and couldn’t get enough sleep at all when he was on his own. At that time, he turned to Chris. He began to sleep over every now and then and then he was staying there every night, practically living with the older boy. The beginning and end of that time happened naturally and gradually, so some of his things are still there, clothes he doesn’t wear so often and some he has doubles of. Like his work clothes. If anyone were to go into Chris's closet, it looks like he’s living with someone else. Jisung nearly forgot about that. 

“Okay.” 

It doesn’t take them long to get to his place. Chris purposely chose a studio that’s close to his apartment so that he can safely travel between them at any hour necessary. The whole walk was filled with Chris telling Jisung that he needs to be more responsible with his time and Jisung pretending to listen. If he’s being honest, he doesn’t think Chris should be giving any lectures about sleeping well when that boy sleeps like five hours a week. But hey, that’s none of his business. 

The thing about Chris's apartment is; it’s always tidy. Immaculate, almost. This is partly because he’s the type of guy to clean up after himself unfailingly but also because he never really stays there for very long. Only to sleep and shower and (sometimes) eat. Every time Jisung stays there, he feels incredibly chaotic because he’s comfortable enough to do what he wants as he wants to and he completely disrupts the order that exists in that place. He’s not a monster though, he does make sure to clean up after himself, despite his messy tendencies. 

Jisung throws himself on the couch, “goodnight.” 

“Change and get in the bed before I beat you.” 

“Ooh, daddy.” 

Chris's ears go pink, “stop!” Jisung giggles loud and runs out to the bedroom, easily finding a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt to change into. He makes himself comfortable in the older boy's bed, enjoying the monochromatic theme that’s disrupted by anime figurines lining the wall. When Chris comes in, he’s smiling and changed into sweatpants, shirt off as usual. He slides into bed next to Jisung, letting him cuddle up to him. “You seem too happy about this…are you sure this was an accident?”

Jisung gasps loud and dramatic, “Hyung! I’ll have you know that this was a complete fluke but I am of the breed to make the best of every situation, thank you very much.” 

“Hmm.” 

“Seriously! I haven’t been to my place in a couple days now, I really need to be there more often but these days I seem to lose hours faster.” Jisung sighs and pulls on Chris, wanting him a little closer. “It’s not that I don’t want to go home, it’s just that I enjoy not having to be alone all the time.” 

“Were you lonely?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I love you, Ji. You know that, right?” 

“Of course, hyung. I love you too.” 

“Sleep.” 

He decides to shut his eyes and curl up instead of verbally responding. Despite him being in a comfortable place and with someone he trusts so much, he has so much trouble falling asleep. To the point that he gets frustrated and has to get up to stretch for a bit. He doesn’t know why he’s having so much trouble, all he knows is that he has a bad feeling about the next day officially starting. He isn’t sure if that’s intuition or the lack of sleep talking. When he finally does fall asleep, it’s because when he lays back down, Chris grabs hold of him and wraps around him completely, effectively trapping him and forcing him to stay in one place. He passes out at five am. Only to be awakened by his alarm at six am. 

He wants to die. 

Chris helps him get moving, making him a latte and starting the shower for him while he wipes the sleep from his eyes. He can see how terribly bloodshot they are in the bathroom mirror and groans when he remembers that he has no makeup at Chris's place. Fuck. He quickly showers and dries his hair, leaving it down and fluffy. He still looks tired when he looks in the mirror, dark bags under his eyes and his tan skin pale. He pouts, quickly dressing in his old work clothes. They still fit pretty well, given that they’ve been sitting here for quite a while. When he walks into the living room, Chris is waiting by his coffee machine, one cup already made and the other in the making. 

“Oh cute.” 

“Do you not own any makeup at all?” 

“I really don’t, Ji.” Chris hands Jisung the second cup, looking at his face carefully, “You don’t need it, but if you really don’t wanna go to work without any, you can wear one of my masks. I have a few in my room. Are you allowed to?” 

“I think so. I can pretend I have a cold or something.” 

“Cool, go for it.” 

“Thanks, man.” He goes through the few masks and settles on a plain black one, it covers most of his face and the fact that he’s insanely exhausted. “Alright, I’ll see you later?” 

“Yeah, be safe.” 

Jisung hugs him fast and runs out, tugging Hyunjin's sweater over his head. He hasn’t talked to the older boy since yesterday and he doesn’t have time to now, either. He’ll have to wait until his break time and just suffer until then. However, he’s also aware of the fact that there may be no messages from the pretty dancer and he can’t be sad about it if that is the case. He knows Hyunjin doesn’t owe him a message but he’d be happy if Hyunjin wanted to text him. 

His work day starts slow, not many people are out thanks to the cold weather and he can’t help but feel a bit grateful for it. He’s tired and his mind is running on pure willpower. His body is running on coffee and nerves. At around noon, he takes his hour lunch break, closing the shop for the time being since nobody is inside and there’s no one to cover him. He sits in the break room nonetheless, trying to make the shop look unoccupied so nobody guilt trips him into opening up just to serve them a coffee. 

Jisung is way too happy for his liking when he sees that he has unopened messages waiting for him. That happiness only grows when he sees that the messages are from Hyunjin. 

Jinnie: !!!   
Jinnie: I would love to!!!

Then from this morning. 

Jinnie: good morning cutie  
Jinnie: don’t overwork yourself and die because I would be sad

Jisung laughs, taking a bite out of his sandwich before he responds. 

Sungie: morning weirdo

Jinnie: hey!!   
Jinnie: it’s no longer morning but thanks for the sentiment

This whore. 

Sungie: minor details~

Jinnie: I missed you ):

Sungie: it’s been like a day since we last talked

Jinnie: I’m Sungie deficient ):  
Jinnie: I need to hug you to be cured ): 

Sungie: sounds very serious :o

Jinnie: I’m in critical condition ):

Sungie: hyuni I’m at work

Jinnie: later? 

Jisung almost tells him yes until he remembers that he’s committed to practicing as 3RACHA every day. He basically sold his soul to Chris for the week. For the better, but still. Not fun. 

Sungie: I got practice for my gig every day this week

Jinnie: ;-;   
Jinnie: is work busy?

Sungie: not really?  
Sungie: I even closed for my break because nobody was even here

Jinnie: whoa

He checks the clock, he still has a while left so he sets an alarm and spends the rest of his break texting with the silly boy who makes his heart race. When the alarm finally does go off, he deems it time well spent and quickly lets Hyunjin know that he’s getting back to work. 

There’s no one outside when he lights up the “Open" sign and no one comes in for another half hour. Jisung kills time cleaning nothing off the counter and singing softly, making sure his machines are prepped and everything out is fresh. His back is turned when the bell at the front door tells him that someone came in, “Welcome! I’ll be right with you!” He sets his cloth down and runs to the register, stopping short when his eyes land on the person. 

“Hey, baby.” Those words bring a blush up to his cheeks that spreads to his ears. 

“Hi..” his voice barely comes out and he kicks himself for how shy this boy makes him. Hyunjin’s standing there in a big hoodie and cuffed jeans looking like the cutest boy alive and he can barely form words. 

“It really is slow in here, jeez.” The tall boy places himself nicely on a chair at the counter and smiles brightly, “I’m glad I came.” 

Jisung shifts to face Hyunjin, leaning his hip on the front counter that holds the cash register and tip jar. “Anything to drink?” 

“Americano, please.” 

“Ew.” He makes a face and turns to start making the bitter drink. 

“What do you mean?!” Hyunjin sounds scandalized. 

Jisung pauses before pouring the coffee in the ice-filled cup, turning to the dramatic boy, “are you sure you want this? I could much more happily serve you a fruit juice or latte. You know, something that actually tastes good.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Hyunjin concedes much too easily for Jisung to believe that he really does like Americanos. It’s cute, he likes this childish side of him. A side that reminds Jisung that Hyunjin isn’t some sort cool, untouchable god. He’s a cute boy with cute likes and fun interests. Jisung decides to serve him a strawberry juice and smiles at the stupid dance Hyunjin does after he takes his first sip. 

“Wanna tell me what brought you here?” 

“I heard there was a really cute guy working here.” His tone is casual.

“Yeah?” 

“Mh hm, guess he’s not in today.” 

Jisung scoffs and swats his arm, trying not to smile at the way Hyunjin giggles at his own joke. “That’s it, the juice is no longer free, you have betrayed me.” 

“Okay, come here, I’ll pay you.” Hyunjin waves him close before leaning in and unhooking his mask to quickly press a kiss to Jisung’s cheek before pulling back with an innocent look on his face and a shocked Jisung staring back at him. 

“That is abuse of power and I do not appreciate it.” Hyunjin laughs and continues to happily drink his juice. More people pile in as time passes but Jisung gets to talk to Hyunjin a lot during his shift, laughing and teasing for hours. He’s having so much fun that when the next person enters, he barely even looks at them, too distracted by the pretty boy who looks at him with stars in his eyes. 

“Hi, how can I help you today?” He smiles wide at the man who just walked in. 

“Really, Jisung?” His heart stops as he finally takes a proper look at the person standing in front of him. Wooyoung. 

“I-" 

“After everything, you’re gonna pretend you don’t know me?” 

Jisung’s eyes dart over to Hyunjin who seems to be staring at them intently. “No-"

“Look, Ji, I miss you.” 

“Oka-" 

“Just, listen.” Wooyoung checks behind him and when he sees that nobody’s there, he continues, “I know I fucked up. But I gotta know if I have any chance to get back with you “ 

Jisung is in shock. He really can’t believe that he’s being asked this right now. At his job. In front of Hyunjin. “I’m sorry, but there’s no way.” 

“Come on, Ji. You can’t tell me that you don’t miss me.” 

He sighs and leans against the counter next to him. The one Hyunjin's currently seated at. “Look, Wooyoung, I’m at work. Are you not going to order anything?” 

“You don’t miss me? What we had?” 

When Jisung sets his hand on the counter, Hyunjin’s pretty fingers lace with his. He can see the exact moment Wooyoung notices and the way his eyes darken. “I don’t miss you.” 

“Because of him? Does he know you like I do? Does he know how clingy and needy you are? You think he’ll deal with that? Guy like him probably has five guys on his radar as we speak. Don’t think you’re special.”

“I-" 

Hyunjin’s fingers tighten around his as he speaks up, “I don’t know who you are, but I don’t think it’s very polite of you to come bother someone at work.” 

“Mind your business.” 

“But I am? You just accused me of being a player.” Hyunjin sighs like he’s bored and Jisung feels like he falls for him a little more. “Plus, you’re bothering my angel. I’m not really a fan of that.” The blonde’s heart races nicely in his chest. Hyunjin looks up at him, his eyes somehow asking him if this is okay. Jisung responds with a small smile. 

“You think he’s yours? He was mine first.” 

“Well, quite frankly, he’s a person not an object.” Hyunjin stands, his hand still linked with Jisung’s. “But if you wanna talk about who he wants to be with, it’s definitely not you.” 

“Why don’t we just ask him, then, pretty boy?” Wooyoung’s words clearly struck a chord in Hyunjin, irritation flitting across his face before he steels his features once again. “Ji, baby boy, give me another chance?” 

Jisung sighs. “No. And don’t ever call me that again.” 

Wooyoung looks furious, his eyes narrowed and jaw set. “He’s gonna learn about the real you and when he leaves you, you know where to find me.” With that, he walks out of the shop. Jisung sighs, covering his eyes with both hands. He doesn’t know why Wooyoung decided to show up now but he can guess that he must be between guys now and feels like bugging Jisung just for the hell of it. 

“What was that?” Hyunjin doesn’t even sound mad, his voice is soft and his eyes are even softer. 

“My ex. You weren’t supposed to see that.” Jisung groans. 

“Why was he like that?” 

“He isn’t exactly nice. Or that great of a guy in general.” He takes another order and quickly makes the coffee, handing it to someone who walks out right after. The shop is empty of anyone other than the two boys. “He doesn’t like it when I’m not crying over him.” 

“He sucks.” Hyunjin grimaces and messes with his empty cup, “How do you feel?” 

“Annoyed? But okay? Like, seeing him didn’t fuck me up or anything but it did make me anxious. I don’t know why he’s trying to get back in my life and he doesn’t usually back off that easily.” 

Hyunjin stares for a little while. Jisung stares back, trying to read his unmoving expression. His expression doesn’t change when he speaks, “hug?” 

“Kiss.” He unhooks his mask himself this time and tugs Hyunjin to him, kissing him firmly. There’s a moment of stillness before Hyunjin responds, pressing back against his lips with the same pressure, cradling Jisung’s face with gentle hands. It doesn’t last long, the boys pulling away slowly with their hands linked. “Thanks, for not freaking out over that. And for helping me out.” 

“Jisung, I would do anything for you.” Is it bad that Jisung feels the same? 

They don’t see each other for the rest of week. Hyunjin texts a lot and Jisung does his best to respond as often as possible. Both boys are insanely busy, it’s exam week for Hyunjin and Jisung’s been working and practicing back to back, only going home to shower and knock out almost immediately. He’s firm in the belief that it’s worth it, 3RACHA become much more organized and by Thursday, they’re ready with their set list, outfits, and (semi) dances. They’re leaving the studio well after midnight, the excitement and nerves keeping them in the studio for a few hours too many. Jisung brought a backpack full of his makeup, clothes, and other necessities with the plan to sleep over with Chris tonight. 

He doesn’t like to sleep alone the night before a gig. 

When they get to the apartment, Chris rushes to shower first, leaving Jisung alone in the living room for fifteen minutes. He passes it happily texting Hyunjin, who he scolds for being awake this late only to be scolded back for the same thing. He finds out that Hyunjin just got home, having been practicing in the dance studio for hours. Their conversation is lighthearted and fun, mostly filled with bad jokes as they share their week with each other.

“Hey, shower's ready for you.” 

“Thanks man.” He leaves his phone on the couch and runs to take a quick shower. When he comes out, Chris is staring at Jisung’s phone, his face dangerously serious. 

“Jisung.” 

“Yeah?”

“What did you do?” 

“Shampooed and conditioned?” 

He isn’t amused. “You’re seeing Wooyoung again?” 

“What the fuck? No!” He rushes over and grabs his phone only to see it opened on a message. 

Wooyoung: it was so nice seeing you ji, let’s do it again

He gags and throws his phone back to the couch. “Listen hyung, I’m not seeing him. He stopped by the shop the other day and asked for another chance and I said no and Hyunjin was there and he helped me to get him to leave and that was it. I swear.” 

Chris's face softens exponentially and he sighs, his body deflating. He opens his arms wide and Jisung falls into them, curling up on his lap. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. Last year me was dumb enough to do it. I get it.” 

“Still.” 

“Let’s just go to sleep? We have a long day tomorrow.” 

“Sure, Ji.” 

Jisung fell asleep first this time, his hyung massaging his scalp until he comfortably fell into unconsciousness. He sleeps dreamlessly for hours, the two sleeping in nicely since they don’t have to actually be anywhere until the evening. When he’s finally awakened, it’s noon and Chris greets him with a smile and latte. The small boy comes out of sleep slowly and gets moving even more slowly. He eats lunch at three and starts to get ready as soon as he finishes his last bite. He keeps his makeup simple and styles his hair messily, giving it a tousled look. His outfit is simple, black ripped jeans and an oversized brown flannel shirt that he stole from Minho. He slides his converse on, watching Chris tie his shoes as well. 

He looks damn good. 

His outfit is also simple, black jeans and a grey hoodie that’s all ripped up. His curly hair in its natural state and his face only lightly made up. 

Jisung loves his friends. 

An hour later finds them at the venue, setting up their soundboard and mics in the empty bar. Changbin dressed in all black, jeans and a hoodie with red accents, his eyes lined darkly. With the three of them working around each other, the stage is set up relatively quickly and they’re able to move to sound check ahead of schedule. Chris starts them off, his air of playfulness completely gone from the moment they began to work. 

“Check check. One two. Check.” There’s no feedback so Jisung jumps straight into one of his verses. After, he tries singing, each boy taking a turn to practice his respective part. 

“How do we feel?” Chris asks, taking a slow drink of the water the bartender oh so kindly offered JUST him. 

“Ready.”

“Nervous.” Jisung swings his feet around under the table they’re seated at. 

“Why? This venue is smaller than others you’ve performed at.” 

“Eh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s just because Hyunjin’s coming and I want him to like what we do and how we do it.” 

“Guess it’s honesty hour?” 

“I saw no point in lying to you guys.” Jisung shrugs, taking a big drink of Chris's water. 

When the doors finally open for general public, the boys take their spots backstage, a small room where they can wait until their show time. It’s bare, only holding a couch and a coffee table, and very narrow. They close the door that leads to the stage but leave a crack to peak out from, wanting to keep track of the how full the bar gets. Changbin and Chris aren’t as entertained with it as Jisung is, he spends nearly the whole time watching people arrive, talk and joke, and get situated around the stage. He’s happy to see how many people rush to secure their spot, making it clear that they came to watch them specifically. It’s fuels this desire to deliver an awesome performance. He cranes his neck and spots Hyunjin standing near the front of the stage. He’s with another boy, just as tall as Hyunjin and almost as pretty. His features are soft and he looks incredibly out of place in the gritty bar full of rap fans. They’re talking and laughing a lot and Jisung finds himself having fun just watching them. 

There’s a tap on his shoulder, “It’s time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof.
> 
> We did that.
> 
> Guess who pretty tall friend is??? I bet you know. We all love him~
> 
> Also drama~ fun, we love that. Just a taste of what's to come because I was forgetting about the angst tag up there and writing PURE fluff. Hope it's okay with you guys~ :)
> 
> So, yes, my school is cancelled due to the virus and everything is kinda on pause so I will be uploading more frequently as I now have much more time to write.
> 
> On this topic, please be safe out there. I know people are going overboard but please take care of yourselves and stay healthy. I would be so sad if any one of you fell ill :( 
> 
> Thank you, for reading my story and supporting it as you do. I love you guys ♡♡


	11. a precious memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m your hyung?” 
> 
> “By like a week.”
> 
> “Oh, that’s nothing, no need for the honorifics.” 
> 
> “Thank god, I didn’t wanna hate Hyunjin’s boyfriend right off the bat.”
> 
> \--
> 
> 3RACHA's performance is finally here-- and so Hyunjin's birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey~ didn't think I'd be back so soon right??? I couldn't miss the chance to write a perfectly timed birthday chapter for our amazing Hyunjinnie. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this chapter!! ♡♡
> 
> As always: any added character traits that appear in this story do NOT reflect my personal thoughts or opinions about anyone who appears in this fic. I am also NOT diagnosing the real life Han Jisung with anxiety. This story is fiction and meant for fun. Thank you for reading!!!~♡

Walking out with his bored, disinterested (heavily rehearsed) walk is harder with Hyunjin sitting there looking like that. His black hair lightly curled and falling in his eyes, a loose button-up hanging on his lithe frame and tucked into black jeans. His friend is just as neatly dressed, a yellow knitted sweater over a pretty ribboned blouse, both tucked into belted jeans. He has light hair styled neatly above his eyes. He’s a real cutie. 

They make Jisung nervous. 

They look shiny, like if anyone or anything in this little bar were to touch them, they would be tainted. 

Standing up there, with people cheering for them, Jisung's heart rims with anticipation. He puts on his smirk, hiding his grin that would totally kill his bad boy image. They start strong with Runner's High, earning a lot of rowdiness from the crowd. They bounce to the music, playing around has they perform their songs, girls screaming their names and recording them constantly. Jisung meets eyes with a girl and sends a wink her way, earning squeals from her and those around her. He quickly slips deeper into his role as J.One. 

When the music for Double Knot starts up, the boys huddle close as they build up to the first verse. As Chris raps, Jisungs nods along and interacts with the crowd, providing fan service for anyone he meets eyes with. He reaches Hyunjin’s friend and winks, enjoying the way his eyes widen as he moves on to send a heart to Hyunjin and continue throughout the crowd. When his turn to rap comes up, he heightens his air of nonchalance, pulling his voice from his chest so it comes out gravelly and low. 

They finish the song strong, grinning at the reception from the crowd. Hyunjin is cheering loud, waving his arms and shaking his friend who’s also clapping and cheering. It feels good. 

The next song makes him nervous, though, because he has a plan for this song. It’s Friday. March 20th. And he planned the tiniest surprise for the boy that makes him blush. Of course, this plan meant telling Chris and Changbin and being the subject of their teasing but he still feels like it’s worth any and all embarrassment. There’s a line in ID:a that Chris and Changbin typically use to flirt with girls in the crowd and rile everyone up. Today, he’s taking it for himself. 

As the song progresses, Jisung tracks the lines carefully, not wanting to miss his cue just because he doesn’t usually pipe in at that point at all. This only serves to take him out of it just slightly, his performance factor coming down a notch due to his intense concentration, mostly bouncing as he counts the tempo and listens to his groupmates rap their lungs out. The beat before he speaks up, the lights go out and he stands in the only light on in the venue, pointing at the boy he can see very clearly despite the darkness. 

“Hyunjin-ah!” Said boy looks startled, jumping and focusing intently, his phone still recording. 

Good. 

“Happy Birthday!!!” He grins, seeing the look of complete disbelief on Hyunjin’s face. His eyes are starry, spilling over with tears, the only thing keeping Jisung from worrying is the smile on his face that never falters and his friend soothing him with a huge smile of his own. 

They finish the song with even more noise from the crowd than before, everyone excited about the sudden surprise. Jisung checks if his little gift made it to Hyunjin and feels his heart race uselessly when he sees the box in Hyunjin’s hands. They finish their set with Matryoshka, a fan favorite and (honestly) one of Jisung’s favorites. The crowd hypes them up the most during this one, going absolutely nuts at Changbin's iconic line and hanging off their every word as they make their way through the song. Hyunjin is dancing along and his friend is recording with Hyunjin’s phone, a smile remaining permanent on his features. The end of their song finds them with loud cheers and grins hurting their cheeks. They wave bye to the crowd, doing their last bits of fan service before disappearing behind the door at the back of the stage.

They all crash on the small couch, landing on each other gracelessly. 

“Good job, guys.” 

“That was fun.”

“I am SO tired.” 

At this, Changbin slaps Jisung’s thigh and forces them all to sit up, “Well you gotta get your energy back up because you’ve gotta a cute little birthday boy waiting for you out there.” 

Jisung groans, betraying his smile and flushed cheeks. “I know.” He stands up and shakes himself off, trying to get rid of his nerves so that he can approach the boy calmly. “Do you think the crowd cleared up?” 

“Take a peek and check.” Chris responds, too taken in with his phone to really be much help at the moment. He does and finds that Hyunjin and his friend are some of the only ones left from their performance, the others seeming to have stuck around to drink and have some fun with their friends. 

“I think we can go out now.” 

“It hasn’t been long enough, Sungie.” But he still hasn’t looked up from his phone. 

“Chris, come check before you say no.” Jisung sighs, moving to stand right by the door, motioning their leader over. When he peeks out, he nods shortly. 

“Yeah, we can go out now.” 

Jisung mocks his voice in a high pitch and slips out behind him, greeting the few people who say hi to him, not taking his eyes off the ethereal boy sitting with the simple box in his lap, laughing cutely with his pretty friend. They meet eyes when he’s a few steps away, the elder jumping up and rushing over to him, wrapping him in a firm hug. 

“That was so good!” He pulls away to look Jisung in the eyes, “how did you know it’s my birthday?” 

“I have my ways, Jinnie.” This just gets him pulled back into a hug, hands curling around his waist. He lets himself melt into it for a moment before he remembers something and tilts his head up to look at Hyunjin again, “Why did you cry?” 

“Because that was so sweet, baby. No one has ever done something like that for me. It just made me really happy.” Hyunjin tucks some hair away from Jisung’s forehead and smiles softly, planting a kiss on his now exposed skin. He gives one more squeeze before they separate, Hyunjin takes Jisung’s hand and intertwines their fingers, leading him over to his friend who’s patiently waiting with a small smile resting on his face. Hyunjin wraps an arm around him, he immediately scoots closer, and Hyunjin tugs Jisung close with their linked hands. “Sungie, this Seungmin. Minnie, this is Jisung!”

“It’s nice to meet you, hyung.” Seungmin’s voice is pretty, very unique. 

“I’m your hyung?” Jisung forgets his manners, too caught up in the unexpected title. Hyunjin giggles and squeezes his hand lightly. 

“By like a week.” Seungmin shrugs. 

“Oh, that’s nothing, no need for the honorifics.” He laughs, reaching his free hand out for a handshake. Seungmin takes it and gives a gentle shake, his smile widening. 

“Thank god, I didn’t wanna hate Hyunjin’s boyfriend right off the bat.” Jisung’s eyes widen, a choked laugh coming out in his shock. Both at being called Hyunjin’s boyfriend and at the sudden brazenness of the otherwise innocent-seeming boy. 

Hyunjin yelps and hits Seungmin on the back, “yah! I already told you!” 

“Yeah, yeah. Y’all are basically dating, stop being so loud.” 

Both boys are pink-cheeked and staring at each other, their linked hands feeling heavy with the sudden implications. Jisung clears his throat and looks around, finding Chris and Changbin with their boyfriends, no hope of them saving him from this situation. He turns back to Seungmin who’s smirking. 

Little shit. 

“Did you open your gift, Jinnie?” 

He turns and pouts, “I didn’t know it was from you.” He picks it up and opens the box, smiling at the book sitting inside. He pulls it out gingerly, letting go of Jisung’s hand to take a proper look at it. 

“It’s one of my favorites and I know you’re practicing English so I thought I’d give it to you. I wrote a little note in it and drew some doodles.” 

The elder's eyes tear up once again and he pulls Jisung into another tight hug, “I love it. Thank you so much.” 

He hugs him back, his heart full. “I’m really glad.” He pulls back to wipe the tears streaming down Hyunjin's cheeks, cupping his face as he calms down. “Don’t cry, baby.” He speaks lowly, trying to calm him while also trying to keep their conversation between them two. 

“I’m trying. I’m just touched.” Hyunjin sniffles, taking a deep breath. 

“Crybaby.” He coos, no bite in his tone.

“Shut up.” 

Jisung gives his cheeks a little squeeze and wipes his eyes again, ruffling his hair before he pulls away completely. “Got any birthday plans?” 

He shakes his head, “not beyond this. I WAS gonna hang with Minnie but SOMEONE forgot about his date with his boyfriend and is ditching me soon.” He directs his sentence largely at the youngest boy, glaring at him and pushing him. Seungmin almost falls over, caught off guard by the sudden shove. 

“Wanna spend it with me?” His heart races hard as he asks and even harder when Hyunjin’s soft expression breaks into a smile that crinkles his cute eyes. 

“I would love to. But…what would we do?” 

“Whatever you want to do. It’s your birthday, Jinnie, you tell me what your favorite way to celebrate would be.” 

“Can we spend it quietly? Go back to my house, get some takeout and watch a drama? Maybe…um…maybe you could sleep over?” Hyunjin starts his proposition confidently but becomes more timid as his words come out. It’s endearing and Jisung doesn’t even realize that he’s smiling at the blushing boy who he wants to give the entire world to. 

“Anything for you.” 

Seungmin gags and yells, “lame!” before he stands and pulls Hyunjin into a hug, “be safe, have a good birthday, I love you.” 

Hyunjin grins, Jisung loves to see it, “Thanks Minnie, I love you too. Be safe on your date.” 

They separate and Seungmin turns to Jisung, “I’d do the cringe best friend warning thing but you honestly seem so sweet, I’m happy you two met. Have fun, let’s hang out soon.” 

This pulls a laugh out of the small rapper, “Thanks, let’s definitely do that.” 

Jisung quickly finds his friends and updates them on his plans before giving them each a hug goodbye, receiving kisses from all of them. Hyunjin hugs each of them too, already having Chris whipped for him and the others in love with him since before he and Jisung even met. When they walk out, Hyunjin holds his book tightly in one hand and Jisung’s hand in the other. It’s warm and soft, quite the opposite from the cold air that nips at their skin. Roughly half way into their walk, the dancer quietly speaks up. In fact, it’s barely above a whisper and Jisung considers it a miracle that he hears him at all. But he does. 

“I don’t think I like it when Minho-hyung kisses you.” 

Jisung doesn’t know how to respond. His heart feels slightly uncomfortable even though there’s no venom in his tone. Nothing argumentative. “Why?” 

Hyunjin sighs and hums, “I don’t know. I guess because he used to talk about you and how much he liked you and I just feel like that hasn’t gone away. I know it’s silly, it just makes me a little uncomfy.” 

Jisung wonders if his soft tone is rehearsed or if he truly isn’t mad at Jisung. He has no experience with the latter. He isn’t sure how to respond. “I’m sorry.” 

Hyunjin’s eyes widen, his mouth dropping open, “no no no, baby, I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. I just wanted to tell you so that you know. I didn’t wanna hold it in and let it get to a bad point where it would hurt you. You have nothing to apologize for, I know all our friends are extremely affectionate and it would be hypocritical of me to ask for him to stop.” 

Jisung nods, “Thank you. If it really bugs you, I could ask him to stop.” Not that he really wants to.

“No Sungie, it really is okay.” 

“I can promise you that it means the same to me when Chris kisses me as when Minho kisses me.” Jisung squeezes his hand, hyping himself up to let out his next statement, “The only kisses that are special to me are yours.” 

Hyunjin stops short, Jisung nearly falling at the sudden change of pace. He turns to see the boy redder than he has ever seen him. He looks at Jisung with smiling eyes and pulls him close, placing a hand under his chin and connecting their lips chastely. The kiss is soft and sweet, all gentle touches, like a barely there hand on his waist. Jisung finds himself deepening it slightly, tilting his head and tugging on Hyunjin to bring him closer. The older boy complies for a second, sighing and pressing against his lips harder before pulling away slowly. “Let’s hurry home, Sungie.” 

“Okay.” His heart is still happy from their kiss and his head is spinning pleasantly, he follows Hyunjin the rest of the way while listening to his little rambles about his week and dance practice and how Seungmin and Jeongin love to ditch him just to go on dates ever since they became boyfriends. He swears he loves the two young boys with his whole soul (which Jisung says is a bit dramatic) but he also feels like punching some sense into them whenever they cancel plans with him for each other. Despite this, he concludes that he understands because he’s crazy happy about his night ending with Jisung instead of Seungmin. 

Jisung loves to hear that. 

At this point, they have a routine of sorts. Jisung quickly freshens up in the bathroom and changes into the hoodie and sweats he had in his backpack from sleeping over with Chris while Hyunjin also changes and begins to set his bed up. When he walks into Hyunjin’s bedroom, there are blankets all over the bed and pillows piled up against the headboard. Jisung grins, “looks comfy.” 

Hyunjin smiles back and nods, setting his laptop on the bed, just beyond the swell of blankets. “We can cuddle or we can sit next to each other. It’s completely up to you.” Jisung hums, pretending like he’s in no rush to lay in Hyunjin's warm arms. He scans the bed, before forcing a casual shrug. “Sit first.” 

And he does, Hyunjin sets himself up with his back leaning against the many pillows, looking like a doll. Jisung finds himself feeling like he’s in a dream, like this boy can’t possible like him as much as he seems to. He catches himself spacing out and gets moving a bit too suddenly, crawling up the bed and motioning for Hyunjin to spread his legs. He does so, but with a quizzical look on his face, almost like he doesn’t fully understand why Jisung would ask this of him. He doesn’t see how it changes because he quickly turns and slides back so that his back is flush with Hyunjin’s chest, leaning against the older with his body framed perfectly by Hyunjin’s. 

The dancer chuckles softly and wraps his arms around Jisung’s waist, pulling the laptop into the smaller boy’s lap and putting on Itaewon Class. They settle into each other, Jisung leaning back even more and Hyunjin resting his chin on his shoulder, his every hum and laugh resonating through Jisung’s body due to their proximity. The warmth of being completely wrapped up in someone else, in Hyunjin, is soothing to Jisung, easing his anxiety. He plays with the dancer’s hands throughout the drama, making his fingers dance and measuring their hand size difference. At some point, Hyunjin grabs his hands and holds them, circling his thumb on the back of Jisung’s hand. 

“Thank you.” It’s a whisper in Jisung’s ear.

“For what, baby?” 

“A precious memory.” 

Jisung takes their hands and places little kisses to Hyunjin’s before setting them back down and nuzzling into him further.

It’s a precious memory for him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much fluff!! 
> 
> Seungmin is finally here, my baby boy. 
> 
> Did you enjoy this chapter? 
> 
> Please remember to take care of your health and stay safe!! Please follow the instructions from the CDC and try not to panic~ I love you guys, truly ♡ 
> 
> Thank you for commenting and leaving kudos, it really makes my day ♡♡


	12. i don't love you anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hyung." 
> 
> “If you tell me about how tired you are, I’m gonna ban you from my apartment. We all just worked our asses off as a collective.” 
> 
> \--
> 
> Suddenly, everything is changing all at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! How is everyone? 
> 
> I wrote a long chapter that will hopefully help your boredom and cheer you up in the midst of these weird times! 
> 
> I really hope you enoy~~♡♡ 
> 
> As always: any and all negative/added character traits are NOT reflective of my personal thoughts or opinions and are meant purely for the purpose of this story. I am NOT diagnosing the real life Han Jisung with anxiety. I love Wooyoung and ATEEZ with my soul, I'm so sorry babies. This story is just for fun and all fiction. Thank you!! ♡♡

“Do you think Changbin would want to get married to me?” 

Jisung chokes on his cheesecake, coughing unattractively. “What?” 

“It’s just- not right now, I know that’s silly.” Felix’s voice sounds weak, though, and Jisung knows he’s lying. 

“It’s not silly, Lixie. People get married at all ages. There’s no perfect age for marriage.” He reaches for the Aussie boy's hands and forces eye contact. “Are you feeling like you wanna marry Changbin?” 

“Genuinely…not right now. Like, if he asked me today then I would say yes. But…he said something offhandedly that really got to me and I don’t know what to do.” His eyes truly reflect how conflicted he feels and Jisung gets this strong desire to help him. 

“Wanna tell me what he said?” 

“He made a joke that people who dream of marriage are delusional.” Felix sighs, “then he said that he’s never thought of getting married.” 

Jisung frowns, “And you would like for him to want to marry you?” 

“Well, yeah. I mean- Sungie, I daydream about marrying him. Having a cute little house and calling him my husband.” 

“Shit, that’s cute.” 

“You think so because you’re not a psychopath! But he doesn’t wanna marry me. It makes me feel like I’m temporary. Around just for fun. Just for now.” His eyes are teary now. 

“Honey, you know that’s not how he sees you.” Jisung can hardly find words, not wanting to make things worse. “Why don’t you talk to him about this?” 

“I feel like he might lie just to make me feel better.” 

“We don’t know that, Changbin doesn’t tend to lie about much. Plus, he absolutely adores you. Like, so much. He loves the shit out of you.” 

“You really think he’ll be honest with me?” 

“Yes, baby. And even if it means him saying he doesn’t want to get married, it doesn’t mean he’s saying that you’re a temporary plaything. Okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Promise?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Go, Lix.” 

Almost immediately after Felix leaves, Jisung receives a text from Minho. 

Minnie: up for a dance lesson?

Ji: bored at the studio?

Minnie: yes or no you ungrateful brat

Ji: sure  
Ji: be there soon

He doesn’t really hurry on his way there, he enjoys his walk and the cold weather that gets blocked by his fluffy sweater. He gets a little lost once he hits campus and takes even longer to get to the dance studio at the bottom of the fine arts building. He looks into the room and finds Minho practicing a dance he’s never seen before, his face serious, chest heaving. He waits a bit longer before trying to open the door, slipping inside quietly. Minho doesn’t ignore him, not that he expected him to, and immediately stops dancing. He turns around and pulls Jisung into a hug. 

“Ew!! Get off, stinky.” 

“Just for that-" Minho holds him more tightly and presses their faces together.

“You’re disgusting.” 

“YoU'rE dIsGuStInG!” The older boy mocks, shaking him and releasing aggressively so that Jisung almost falls over. 

“I’m divorcing you.” But he starts stretching, dropping into a squat. 

Minho pushes Jisung further into his stretch and pouts at him in the mirror, “but if you divorce me, who will teach you to dance?” 

“I can dance, you little hoe.” 

“Not like me.” He smirks and lets go, doing his own stretching despite the fact that he’s been dancing for hours beforehand. 

Jisung gets on the floor, stretching his legs and back, “hey, are you and Chris officially dating now?” 

“No…we’re still in that weird in between where we aren’t boyfriends but we aren’t just friends. I don’t hate it but I don’t love it either.” 

“Felt that.” Jisung stretches his arms, “are you gonna ask him out?” 

“I’m not sure. I guess I’m waiting for him to do it? I’m not really sure he wants a relationship with me.” 

“Maybe you should just go for it, if you feel comfortable with that.” 

“I want to, but I probably won’t.” Jisung only hums in response. He understands. 

They do a few couple stretches and move on to finally learning the dance Minho’s been preparing. It starts off somewhat simply, popping and moving along with the beat, strong and isolated movements accented by the music. Or accenting the music? Jisung can’t decide. It takes a quick turn, though, into a much more sensual dance. The sharp movements preceded by body rolls and hip movements. There’s one part that Jisung just cannot get down, his body fighting him and refusing to be as fluid as he truly wants to be. 

He groans as he tries it for what seems to be the millionth time, “I can’t do it.” 

“Yes you can.” 

“Min, I look ridiculous.” 

“Hear me out, don’t get frustrated. You can do it. Just,” Minho places his hands on Jisung’s hips, holding firmly, “move like this.” He pushes with his left hand, pulling with his right, while moving him down. He repeats the movement, leading him into the next. “Okay, try it on your own now.” 

“Okay.” But again, it doesn’t come out the way he wants it to. He still feels stiff and it almost seems like he’s getting worse the more he tries. He rubs his eyes, irritated. 

Minho reaches for him again, “here-" 

“Let me try.” Both friends jump, not aware of Hyunjin’s presence before he spoke. When Jisung sees him, he freezes, the boys looks so beautiful in every moment and it just isn’t fair. Even standing here in a huge sweater and sweats he looks like a model. Minho still has his hands on Jisung’s hips and when Hyunjin approaches them, he steps in between them and easily separates them. He replaces Minho’s hands with his own but leaves no space between their bodies the way the other had. Hyunjin pulls Jisung against him and wraps an arm around his waist. “Move from here.” 

Jisung can see how red his own face is, how flustered he is by the way Hyunjin is holding him. It feels intimate. Different from how they’ve been cuddling each other the past few weeks. He does his best to snap out of it. 

It’s just a dance lesson. He’s just helping. 

Hyunjin moves them, keeping their bodies pressed together as he guides the smaller boy. “you see?” He does it again, then another time. “Do it like this.” He gives Jisung’s waist a squeeze and smiles, moving away from him. 

Jisung almost shivers at the sudden cold on his back. “I’ll try it.” 

“From the previous 5 beats,” Minho plays the music, “go.” 

With more concentration than he’s proud of, Jisung dances, getting into the feeling of the choreography. This time, his hips move exactly as he wants them to. As soon as he completes the move, Hyunjin cheers and scoops him up, spinning him around. “Good job!” He releases him and Jisung runs to Minho next, jumping up and wrapping around him too. He’s easily caught and Minho runs them around the room once, both boys giggling and screaming. 

“Told you, little brat.” Then he walks them back to Hyunjin who’s just been watching the two as they celebrate. “Here, take this.” They hand Jisung off like he’s a baby and honestly? He doesn’t exactly mind. He wraps himself around Hyunjin comfortably.

“Thanks for helping me.” 

“You’re welcome, cutie.” 

Minho scoffs, “you know you have both of us whipped for you, don’t even pretend.” 

Jisung widens his eyes dramatically, “Not true, hyungie.” 

“Yes true, baby.” Minho ruffles his hair then messes it up completely, “that’s why you like us so much.” 

Jisung hums, looking up at Hyunjin before he turns back to Minho, “it’s why I like you. This one has more benefits than you.” 

“Ew, don’t ever say that again.” 

“Why ew- oh! Oh shit, oh god, not what I meant.” 

Hyunjin giggles loud and sets him down, clapping. “It sounded more like comparing insurance policies to me, you guys are nasty.” 

“We share one corrupted, sad, little brain cell.” Minho wipes a fake tear from Jisung’s cheek, placing a kiss there right after. 

“I can tell.” Hyunjin’s smiling but Jisung doesn’t miss the way it falters slightly and how his eyes don’t completely disappear with it. He feels the need to do damage control but he doesn’t know how. It doesn’t help that the next thing Minho does is pull him close again. Hyunjin’s worse at hiding his dislike for their skinship this time, turning away and putting some more space between them. Jisung isn’t sure what to do. He lets Minho hang off of him for a bit longer before pulling on his arm, deciding his course of action. 

“Can you buy me a juice?” 

“But I’ll have to walk farrrrr.” 

“Pleaseeeeeeee????” He whines, swinging his arms. Minho sighs, shaking his head as a smile forms on his lips. 

“Fine, I’ll be back.” 

As soon as he walks out, Jisung makes his way over to Hyunjin who’s sulking while he browses his phone. Jisung wants to take that pout off his face. He crouches by him and offers a smile, “Jinnie.” 

“Yeah?” Jisung can tell he’s bothered but repressing it. 

“Can you hug me?” Hyunjin looks surprised at the request, mixed with a touch of confused. But he moves quickly, wrapping the small boy in his arms. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing. I just like you.” 

“I like you too.” The tension in his body is easing up, his soft tone becoming less forced. 

Jisung nuzzles into him and sighs, feeling himself relax too. He likes hugging Hyunjin. The dancer is significantly bigger than him so he fits comfortably no matter their position. Hyunjin also has this distinct scent, something sweet but deep. Like fruit and firewood. He’s always warm and he’s always soft. Jisung loves hugging Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin shifts them to sit down properly, pulling Jisung with him. The rapper sits back on his knees, keeping Hyunjin’s hands in his and looking at him. He can see that it’s helping but he can also see that there are leftover feelings that went unexpressed and unspoken. Sometimes he wishes that Hyunjin would blow up or at least snap in some way. Rant about how or why he hates these things. But it’s almost like he can feel how bad that would be for them. Jisung wishes he can be stronger so that Hyunjin doesn’t have to. He wants to apologize for it. Even though Hyunjin has no idea of his past, not beyond his one encounter with Wooyoung and the texts he sees pop up on Jisung’s phone from Wooyoung's friends since he blocked his ex. 

He doesn’t know what pushes him to it but he leans forward and presses his lips against Hyunjin’s lightly. Just a small kiss, almost barely there. And when he begins to lean back, Hyunjin holds him and brings him back, connecting their lips more harshly. Jisung takes a moment to respond, flustered by the hand on the back of his head and the other on his waist. When he snaps out of it, he brings his arms around Hyunjin’s neck, deepening the already intense kiss. He scoots forward, winding up in his lap with Hyunjin’s arms wrapped completely around his body, caging him in. The kiss is hard but not necessarily sexual, it feels loving. The pressure and tight hold don’t hurt, they’re warm and comforting. Jisung melts, messing with Hyunjin’s long hair. He settles comfortably, almost like he could fall asleep like this. Tangled together and lips pressed against each other firmly. 

“Really guys?” Minho groans, prompting the two boys to pull apart, still holding each other. 

Jisung moves to get up but Hyunjin grabs his arm, pulling him back, “Wait. Kiss me again.” So he does, a lingering and gentle kiss that lasts only a few seconds. Then Hyunjin lets him go with a smile gracing his pretty face. Jisung is pretty sure he knows what that was for but he makes a mental note to ask about it later. 

“You guys should just date already, I swear it’ll make no difference.” 

“Yeah, it would, hyung. “ Hyunjin smirks. 

“How?”

“Jisung wouldn’t be your baby anymore.” 

Minho gasps dramatically but Jisung can tell that neither of them are truly joking right now. “He'll always be my baby. Right?” 

“Uh-" 

“He could be your baby in the same way that he’s Chris's baby but not the way he’s your baby right now.” 

“And why is that?”

“Because he'll be my baby.” 

“Guys, as much as I feel like the female lead in a drama right now, I prefer not to be spoken for.” 

“Sorry.” Hyunjin sighs. 

“I didn’t mean to.” Minho rolls his eyes. 

“Look, I wouldn’t change any of my friendships just because of a boyfriend-"

“Ha!” Minho laughs

“But! If I had a boyfriend and he were really uncomfortable with something, I would compromise.” Jisung looks between the boys experiencing conflicting emotions, “and I’m not siding with either one of you right now. Minho, you’re my best friend and nothing will change that, love you bitch. And Hyunjin, I really like you and I wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt you.” He nods at each of them, “now stop acting like five year olds arguing over the last ice cream.” 

After that, they get back to dancing, and they actually spend the rest of the day polishing the choreography to the best of their abilities. Jisung feels far behind the two others, their dancing seeming to be on a whole other level than he could ever dream of. All the same, he’s happy with his end result, the dance looking natural and smooth on his body. Jisung has fun watching Minho and Hyunjin, they get along really well. He can see their brotherly bond and the way Minho takes care of the younger dancer warms Jisung’s heart. Hyunjin acts like a complete baby with Minho, it’s actually really cute. Jisung is sure to leave early enough to safely walk home this time, neither of his self designated protectors being available to walk with him because they have a big performance coming up. 

And maybe he lied and said Chris is giving him a ride. 

Ha ha…oops. 

No harm no foul, he gets home safely. And just in time for Felix to video call him. He picks up, “hey give me one second please.” He throws his phone on his bed and changes into his new typical pajamas, those being sweats and one of Hyunjin’s hoodies. Once he’s laying back, he picks his phone back up and props it up on his pillows. “Okay go for it.” 

Felix is cute, his newly cut hair ruffled above his eyes as he prepares himself for the speech he’s potentially about to give, “So, I talked Binnie.”

“And then?” 

“He told me that he meant it. And I cried. But he said because he never really even loved anyone before. And that he knows it isn’t legal here so he sees no point in it. I kept crying.” 

“Baby, no.” Jisung pouts. 

“But it’s okay, he told me that he loves me very much and then, um." He chews on his lip nervously, the pink disappearing then reappearing more strongly once he releases his lip. 

“Is it bad?” 

“No! Well, depends on how you look at it.” 

“And how do you look at it?” 

“It’s amazing.”

Jisung smiles, enjoying the way his cute friend lights up just thinking about whatever this is. “So, are you gonna tell me?” 

“He asked me to move in with him.” Felix bounces a little, his bright smile creasing his whole face, “I said yes.” 

“Lixie!!” Jisung feels like his heart is exploding and this news isn’t even his own, “This is so great!! I am so happy for you!!” 

“But here’s the problem.” 

“Oh.” He sobers immediately.

“I live with Hyunjin.” 

“Yeah?”

“We split all bills.”

“Right.”

“He can’t pay for the apartment on his own.”

“Oh fuck.” Jisung enters panic mode immediately, wanting to fix this for him, “have you told him?”

“No, I’m scared.” Felix rolls his eyes, “I know I shouldn’t be because that boy is an actual angel but instead of being mad, he’ll hurt all by himself.” 

“This is so bad.” Jisung sighs, trying to figure something out. “He can’t live with me, that’ll seem crazy and if we don’t end up together or it doesn’t work out then oof, you know?” 

“Yeah, of course, I had a different idea.” 

“Are you having fun? Keeping me on cliffhangers like this?” 

“What if we ask Minho? Or better- what if you ask Minho?” 

“To let Hyunjin live with him?” 

“Yeah, he has two bedrooms and they get along really well. Plus, they have such similar schedules and lives, they spend most of their days together. They can split bills like we do now. I think it’d be pretty convenient, don’t you?” 

Jisung hums, selfish thoughts of wanting to keep them apart invading his mind. Not because of them. But rather because he values his time with each of them and isn’t sure he’d be able to have his comfortable cuddle nights with Minho anymore. He quickly realizes that it’s excessively selfish of him to negate the idea just for his own benefit. He bites his tongue, “Yeah, I’ll ask Minho about it. Want me to call him now?” 

“Yeah, please. I’ll feel better about it if this gets solved sooner. That way I don’t have to lie to his cute little face, it’s way too hard.” 

Jisung laughs, it really is hard to say anything that’ll leave Hyunjin with negative feelings. “Okay, I’ll call you back after.”

“Thank you, I love you.” 

“Love you too, bye.” He blows a big kiss then hangs up, throwing himself back on his bed hard. He doesn’t want to call Minho. He doesn’t want his two worlds colliding so dramatically. He knows they get jealous of each other as it is. Now they’ll always know when he’s with the other. He groans, throwing his legs out. Maybe he’s just being dramatic. Maybe it won’t be so horrible. Maybe he’ll still get time with each of them. He dials Minho. 

“Miss me, baby?” Fucking flirt. 

Jisung hears Hyunjin in the background, “that better be Channie-hyung!” 

“Y’all are still at it?” 

Minho laughs, “we just ended practice, we’re heading out now- bye Hyunjin! Hyunjin says hi.” 

“Oh.” Jisung laughs, “hi to him.”

“He’s gone, sucks for you. What did you call for? Feeling okay?” 

“Yeah, no, um. I guess it’s something serious.” 

“Bad?” 

“I don’t know.” Jisung sighs, “I’ll get right to it. Felix is moving in with Changbin and Hyunjin can’t pay the bills on his own. “ 

“Does he know?”

“No. That’s the thing. Felix can’t bring himself to tell him.” 

“So, what do I have to do with this?” But Jisung can tell that Minho knows exactly where this is going. 

“Well…can you offer your place? You know…split bills and stuff.” 

Minho takes a beat and Jisung feels his heart fall, “I’ll ask him. But after Felix talks to him.” 

“Really? It’s really okay with you?” 

“It really is. I love him, he’s like my sweet little baby. You know I just get jealous because it’s been me and you for so long.” 

“You’re the best human being to ever exist, I love you.” 

“Yeah, okay, go to sleep.” Minho hangs up before Jisung can respond. He shrugs, curling up with his stuffed bunny and falling into an easy sleep. 

Hyunjin agrees to move in with Minho with tears and hugs, thanking him repeatedly. Hyunjin calls Jisung to tell him about it and he pretends to be surprised, not wanting any credit for anything that happened. When the boys move, Jisung helps. It tires him and is boring aside from the jokes, singing, and dancing they do during it. Hyunjin doesn’t have a whole lot of stuff though, this is when Jisung learns that he doesn’t tend to spend much money. Not on clothing and not on many items either, mostly accessories. Felix goes on to say that Hyunjin does, in fact, have the money for it. He just refuses to spend it. Jisung thinks this is cute and remembers the way Hyunjin will drop money on him without hesitation. It’s at the end of the day, when they’re all sitting in Minho’s apartment, that they really get to talk and have some fun after their long day. 

“Hyung.” Jisung starts, settling himself on the couch beside Minho, where he typically sits when he comes over. 

“If you tell me about how tired you are, I’m gonna ban you from my apartment. We all just worked our asses off as a collective.” 

Jisung pretends to sob and Minho immediately takes him onto his lap, petting his hair and pretending to comfort him. “I don’t love you anymore.” 

“Oof, I’ll learn to live with it.” He kisses Jisung’s forehead right as Hyunjin sits next to them. He takes Jisung’s hand, keeping his eyes on Felix as they talk. Minho leans in and whispers right in Jisung’s ear, “Wanna make Jinnie jealous?” 

Jisung rolls his eyes, “stop.” It’s barely audible but he can see that Minho hears him and has already decided not to listen to him. 

“Sungie.” His voice is raised, maybe even slightly too loud. 

“What?” 

“I love you so much.” There’s a squeeze on Jisung’s hand, he can see that Hyunjin’s listening now. 

“I know.” He gets shaken and almost hits Hyunjin, their hands still linked. 

“Say it back!” Minho shakes him more harshly; he knows he would fall off if not for the arms wrapped around him.

“Fine! I love you too, weirdo.” Minho cheers and shakes him even harder before releasing him entirely, Jisung falling on top of Hyunjin. 

He sits up, squeezing himself to sit between the two dancers. Minho moves to throw his arm around Jisung but Hyunjin pulls him into his side before he can. Minho smirks and waves Felix to sit on his lap instead, hugging the freckled boy close and pretending he’s gonna kiss him. It’s fun to watch how close Minho is with the younger dancers, he cuddles them and kisses them almost as much as he does to Jisung. Felix giggles, attacking Minho back, trying to outdo the eldest boy with affection. 

In the midst of the chaos, Hyunjin leans down to address Jisung, “do you wanna go on a date with me?” 

He turns to face the older boy, wide eyes focusing on serious ones, “when?” 

“Right now.” 

“Really? But I’m all yucky.” His hair is unstyled, he’s barefaced, and he’s being swallowed by a t-shirt over his skinny jeans. 

“You’re cute. Besides, we’re in similar states anyway.” 

Jisung huffs, “the difference is that you’re gorgeous.” 

Hyunjin blushes pink, “we don’t have to, honey. It was just a thought.” 

“I want to. Give me a second.” Jisung turns to Minho, grabbing his attention by pinching his side, “Lino…can I borrow a hoodie?” He pouts and uses his baby voice, trying to look extra cute.

“You mean can you steal one?” 

“Please?”

“Yeah, fine, go nuts.” 

Jisung cheers and jumps up, running into Minho’s room and sifting through his hoodies, already knowing which one he wants to take. His eyes land on the forest green hoodie with billowed sleeves and he quickly pulls it off the hanger, replacing his shirt with it. The hoodie is already big on Minho so it really drowns Jisung but the pinched sleeves make it cuter than it is bum-y. He messes with his hair slightly and checks his face, making sure he looks as cute as he possibly can, given the circumstances. When he rejoins the dancers, Minho groans. 

“I knew you’d take that one.”

“You look cute as hell in it, so I knew I’d look even cuter.” Minho throws a pillow at Jisung with a snort. He tries to dodge it. 

Tries. 

“Yeah, whatever, you’re lucky that you do look cute in it.” 

Felix pouts up at Minho, “can I steal a hoodie too?” 

Minho smiles down at the cute boy. Easily the cutest boy in the universe. (Although Hyunjin’s friend…Jeongin? Might be stealing that title.) “What for, Lix?” 

“For comfort.” He bats his eyelashes, giving a cute smile that displays little dimples on his cheeks. “Because you love me?” 

“Just go take one, oh my god, I’m gonna explode.” When Felix gets up, Hyunjin throws himself into Minho’s side, holding his arm and looking up at him cutely. “Not you too.” He groans, obviously defeated by his biggest weaknesses all coming at him at once. 

“Hyung, I didn’t say anything.” 

“Yeah but you’re looking at me with hearts in your eyes.” 

“That’s because I love you.” He emphasizes this by throwing his arms around Minho and resting his head on the elder's chest. 

“State your purpose.” Minho laughs, patting Hyunjin’s back. 

Jisung thinks he wants to be the only to hold Hyunjin that way. It scares him. The way he wants Hyunjin. How he feels protective of the older boy and wants to be the only one Hyunjin takes care of. More importantly, he wants to be the only one who takes care of Hyunjin. Jisung does like that all his closest people are just as close to each other but it feels different with Hyunjin. He likes to pretend not to know why as he watches Hyunjin pout his pretty lips and stare up at Minho. 

“I just wanted some attention.” 

Minho scoffs and pushes him off. “go take your boy on a date before I do.” 

Jisung flushes red while Hyunjin hurries to stand, taking Jisung by the hand and leading them out of apartment without even saying goodbye. Which, of course, leads to Minho calling them to scold them for being rude then hanging up because he doesn’t actually want to talk. Hyunjin leads Jisung to his car and doesn’t answer him no matter how many times he asks about where they’re going. Then he threatens Hyunjin that if they go anywhere nice while he looks like this then he’ll kill him. What he doesn’t expect is for them to end up at an amusement park. Jisung jumps out of the car, grinning at the rides and games. Hyunjin joins him and Jisung takes his hand, jumping up and down. “This is so fun!” 

Hyunjin smiles down at him, soft eyes shining with a million stars. “You like it?” 

“Of course I do.” Jisung tugged him, “come on, let’s go!”

When they reach the ticket booth the boys have an all out war about who gets to pay for the entry tickets and it ends up being decided by the girl working. Hyunjin tells her to pick the cuter one to pay. Jisung instantly groans, knowing how this will go. The girl laughs and looks between the two repeatedly, Jisung considers it an excuse to check Hyunjin out. She laughs one more time then takes Jisung's card from his hand. Both boys gape and Jisung does a mocking dance in Hyunjin’s direction. 

“I’m not even mad, I agree with her.” Hyunjin pinches Jisung's cheek then leaves a quick kiss on his nose. “come on.” 

Hyunjin manages to convince him to get on a rollercoaster and begins to face the consequences before they even get on the ride. They’re in line, undoubtedly part of the next group that’ll ride the rollercoaster, and Jisung can’t stand still. He’s bouncing, shifting his weight, pulling on Hyunjin’s arm, and singing under his breath. Hyunjin has to force him onto the ride and laughs as he literally drags him into his seat beside him. Jisung buckles himself tightly then immediately takes hold of Hyunjin’s hand, pressing into his side. 

“It’s gonna be okay.” 

“Shut up- sorry I didn’t mean that I’m just stressed, why did I agree to this?” When the ride starts, the initial jolt gets a scream out of Jisung and Hyunjin laughs at him openly. He spends the entire time comforting the smaller boy in between laughs at how freaked out he is and the way he raps his fear away. When they get off, Jisung clings to Hyunjin for several minutes after, yelling about how dizzy he feels. Hyunjin promises to buy him a soda to make up for it but Jisung says he’d rather take photos in a photo booth with him. 

And who’s Hyunjin to say no? 

Maybe they get lost while looking for the little photo booth tucked into a corner while surrounded by lighted games. Maybe that’s nobody’s business. 

As they wait for the booth to free up, they joke about anything in sight, playing with random concepts and making things up that make no sense. They dance to music that’s barely there under the sounds of people and games, then they sing to music that isn’t there at all. Hyunjin makes Jisung laugh his least favorite laugh, the one that’s not monitored or controlled at all, that’s pure joy and fun. And Hyunjin laughs at almost anything Jisung says or does. He doesn’t know if it’s because the dancer finds him genuinely funny or if it’s because he likes Jisung. He concludes that it must be a mixture of both because Hyunjin laughs really hard at some things while he only giggles at others. 

“Jisung.” The sudden call of his name from a mouth that isn’t Hyunjin’s startles him out his rose-tinted haze. His eyes easily find the absolute LAST person/entity/being he would want to see.

And that includes the devil. 

He straightens himself, “Wooyoung.” 

The other smiles, taking a step closer to Jisung (who does his best not to step back) and ignoring Hyunjin entirely, “let’s talk.” 

“I don’t have anything to say to you.” He keeps his head held high and his eyes locked with the silver-haired boy. 

Wooyoung’s smile falters but he covers it up quickly, “well, I do.” He holds his hand out, “come on.” 

“No.” Jisung feels himself get pulled into Hyunjin, “say what you want here.” 

“Still haven’t gotten tired of his bullshit, pretty boy?” 

“No, pretty tired of yours, though.” Hyunjin says sweetly, smiling meanly. 

“Cute.” Wooyoung turns back to Jisung, “come on, it’s not like I’m gonna hurt you.” 

“I don’t know that.” Jisung feels Hyunjin’s body stiffen at the implication. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Don’t act like you haven’t before.” Jisung can feel himself getting worked up and the concerned look he’s receiving from Hyunjin isn’t helping him calm his nerves. He didn’t want to tell Hyunjin about this part of his past but he can’t help himself. He doesn’t want to sit back and take it. “If you have something to say to me, say it here.” 

“Fine. Looks like your doll is gonna learn sooner than we thought, huh, Ji?” 

“You sure you don’t just have a crush on me?” Hyunjin’s words bring a laugh out of Jisung and seem to piss Wooyoung off even more than Jisung’s refusal to obey him. 

“Can’t you see that I’ve changed?” 

“You’re literally exactly the same.”

“Look, I miss you. You taught me to love. I shouldn’t have treated you like that. I really am sorry.” 

“Wooyoung, I’ve moved on. When I say that I don’t miss you, I really do mean it.” 

“Is it him? Does he know that you can’t go without attention for a single day? Huh? Does he know how needy you are? How self-destructive you get? Does he know about your annoying fucking anxiety that you just use as an excuse to get out of doing anything hard?” Wooyoung explodes and Jisung knows he was right in not believing him. 

“Stop.”

“No, I won’t. You think anyone else will accept you as you are? With all your flaws and how fucked up you are, it’s only a matter of time until he goes running. Let’s be real, I’m the only one who will ever love you.” He’s getting loud and Jisung begins to cower, leaning into Hyunjin. 

“Just get over it! It doesn’t matter! If he leaves, I still won’t date you. So fuck off, get a life.” 

“I treated you as well as you deserved. Nobody is a hundred percent loyal. No one looks at just one guy. Not me. Not him.” He points at Hyunjin, “and definitely not you.” 

“The only cheater here is you.” Jisung can let a lot of things go but this isn’t one of them. All throughout his relationship with Wooyoung, he was accused of cheating with Minho. It was never true and he went through hell just because Wooyoung didn’t like how close they are. It’s part of why he’s so paranoid whenever Hyunjin sulks over them. He doesn’t want a repeat of that. 

“I never cheated on you.” 

Jisung actually laughs, “you’re still keeping that up? Dude, the guy you were cheating with literally texted me and told me everything. With proof. You can’t convince me that I’m crazy anymore, I know the truth.” 

“You’re single right?” 

“I-" 

“I know you are.” Wooyoung smirks, “you haven’t had anyone since me. You were hoping I’d come back, right?” 

“He’s not single. Don’t you see him on a date right now?” Jisung’s heart beats even faster at Hyunjin’s words. They still haven’t made anything official but calling either one of them single feels wrong on a whole other level. 

“But is he your boyfriend?” 

When Hyunjin doesn’t answer, Jisung bites the bullet and hopes for the best. “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha. 
> 
> Oops. 
> 
> My hand slipped. 
> 
> Are you guys still enjoying this story? I find my motivation slipping in and out but your comments really do make me so happy and motivate me to continue writing. It's fun to write but even more fun to share it and see that people are enjoying it. I hope you still are, I appreciate you all ♡♡♡ 
> 
> I know this gets old but please take care of your health to the best of your abilities!!


	13. please stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hyung, I like being naked.”
> 
> “Well, if it’s you then I don’t mind.”
> 
> \--
> 
> Jisung and Hyunjin get to deal with the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! I'm nervous about releasing this chapter and I've read through it like a billion times, I really hope you like it. ♡♡
> 
> As always: any and all added character traits in this story do NOT reflect my personal beliefs or thoughts about the real life person the characters are based on. I love ATEEZ and Wooyoung to death, I'm sorry hunties. I am NOT diagnosing the real life Han Jisung with anxiety. This story is pure fiction and just for fun. 
> 
> Thank you for reading~~♡

Act first, deal with the consequence later. 

That’s always been Jisung’s MO, but as he watches Wooyoung walk away with Hyunjin standing seriously at his side, he kicks himself for his impulsiveness. He looks up to see that Hyunjin’s already looking at him, his eyes clearly searching for something. Jisung isn’t sure what to say. It would absolutely be way too fucked up to tell him he didn’t mean it. He just didn’t intend to get here so fast. He didn’t want to rush Hyunjin either. 

“Hyunjin, I-" 

“Don’t worry about it.” He sounds heartbroken, like he already got the answer he least wanted to hear. “let’s go in.” He points to the photo booth and waits for Jisung to slide in first, then follows and closes the curtain as he takes his seat next to the small boy. Hyunjin looks sad and it hurts Jisung more than the thought of Hyunjin breaking his heart. He feels like he knows exactly what he wants to do even if he doesn’t want to admit it. He's scared. He's really scared. He knows Hyunjin already has his heart but he doesn't want to let Hyunjin know that. At the same time, he knows it isn’t fair to Hyunjin. At this point, Jisung would just be stringing him along and he isn’t okay with being that guy. Hyunjin treats him like he’s the whole world and he feels wrong keeping him in this limbo just because he’s afraid of repeating his past. He chews on his lip; he knows what he needs to do. 

“I know it’s not true. I’m sorry.” Jisung tries. He needs to make sure he isn’t jumping to conclusions. 

“I didn’t mind it.” Hyunjin looks down, feigning concentration as he puts coins into the machine. 

Jisung’s heart skips a beat then takes off running. “Really?”

Hyunjin looks at Jisung, a flash going off as a picture is taken. Maybe not the best time to be having a serious talk. “Why can’t it be true?” His voice still soft and sad. 

Jisung fights the smile that takes over his features. Another flash. “It can.”

Hyunjin smiles wide, “You'll be my boyfriend?” 

Flash. 

Jisung nods. “Yeah,” comes out a little breathlessly. Almost like the word is slipping out without any thought, despite the meaning it holds to both of them.

The last picture is taken as Hyunjin takes Jisung’s face in his hands and kisses him sweetly, leaning into the smaller boy and pushing him against the side wall of the photo booth. When he pulls away, their lips are barely separated, the two still pressed together by the way Hyunjin’s leaning into Jisung. “You’re really okay with this?” 

Jisung places a hand over Hyunjin’s on his cheek, “of course. I’m happy to call you my boyfriend.” He locks their gazes, “just be patient with me, please.” 

“Anything, baby.” Hyunjin kisses him quick, leaving Jisung breathless as he prints two copies of the photo strips and steps out to grab them. Jisung follows, seeing the way Hyunjin smiles at the pictures. “This is actual documentation of us getting together. Look.” 

Jisung looks over them and immediately sees what he means, every stage of their conversation is captured on the four frames of the strip. “That’s so cheesy.” Jisung takes his strip and tucks it safely into his pocket, hugging Hyunjin around his waist, “I love it.” 

This earns him a kiss on the top of his head before the elder leads him out of the arcade and to the rest of the rides. “What should we do now, baby?” 

Jisung blushes hotly, realizing that this nickname is gonna stick consistently. He likes it. He’s called baby a lot but when Hyunjin does it, he feels warm and happy. He nuzzles into Hyunjin’s side as they walk, feeling comfortable and safe tucked into him like this, his encounter with Wooyoung hardly bothering him now. “I don’t know. Let’s do something fun!” 

Hyunjin giggles, “that’s the plan!” but when the boys stop at the line for the gyro drop, Jisung shakes his head roughly. 

“No, no. Absolutely not.” He starts pulling Hyunjin back, taking them away from the line.

“Not this one?” 

“It’s too much, come on, anything but that.” He’s grateful for the way Hyunjin follows him away, not questioning his refusal or mocking his fear. Hyunjin catches up and takes his hand, looking around for something else to do. 

“What about that?” Jisung follows Hyunjin’s gaze to that cursed swinging boat ride. But he doesn’t want to seem too whiny, remembering the way Wooyoung would complain about his many fears and anxieties. 

“Uh, yeah, okay.” He does his best to stifle his nerves as he follows Hyunjin up the steps and into the stupid boat. It only gets worse when the dancer decides to seat them at the very end of it. He gets a little comfort from their proximity and the way Hyunjin wraps an arm around Jisung’s shoulders, fitting him perfectly. Jisung grips the bar tightly and braces himself for the way the ride will lift him up and threaten his life every fifteen seconds. He doesn’t want his fear to come through. He doesn’t want to prove all those cruel words right. 

The problem with that begins almost right after the ride passes it’s forty-five-degree tilt. He starts flinching, thoughtlessly burying himself into Hyunjin. He’s so busy gritting his teeth and calming himself down that he misses the knowing smile being directed at him and the way Hyunjin's intentional shuffling brings Jisung impossibly close. When the ride ends, they stumble out with connected hands. Hyunjin obviously feels lighter and Jisung kicks himself for not being able to enjoy the stupid ride. They stop at a bench to sit for a while, and Hyunjin runs his fingers through the blonde’s hair. 

“You know, you can tell me if a ride is too scary.” 

“Was it that obvious?” 

“Sungie, you might as well have slipped under my shirt.” Jisung blushes and looks down, Hyunjin notices his reaction immediately, “It was cute, baby, don’t worry. Made me wanna keep you in my pocket.” 

“I just don’t wanna ruin the fun for you.” Jisung mumbles, playing with his rings. 

“You’re not ruining anything for me. We could sit here the whole day and I would still be beyond grateful to have spent my day that way.” He nudges Jisung so that they’ll face each other. “I have fun just being with you. You tell me what’s really fun and that’s what we’ll do. It’s okay if you’re too scared. I’m scared of a lot too. I’m not judging you. Never. Okay?” 

“Okay.” He leans up to press a kiss to Hyunjin’s lips, feeling himself settle into his boyfriend. 

Wow. 

His boyfriend.

He likes that. 

Hyunjin moves to wrap Jisung up in his arms, kissing him back with overwhelming affection. Even when they pull apart, Hyunjin leaves a million little pecks on his lips, getting giggles out of the small boy. “I like being able to kiss you whenever I want to.” 

“I like it too.” Another kiss is placed on his lips. “You give nice kisses.” 

Hyunjin’s cheeks flush and he hides his face in Jisung’s neck, “don’t do this to me.” 

“That tickles!” But this only led to Hyunjin blowing a raspberry into his neck. He squeals and pushes Hyunjin who goes deadweight, leaning heavily on Jisung. “Babe, move.” 

Hyunjin snaps up immediately. “Say it again.” 

“Huh?” 

“What you said. Say it again.” 

“Babe.” 

Hyunjin giggles and hugs him, trailing kisses in his hair and rubbing at his blonde strands. “I’m so happy.” 

Jisung isn’t used to this. He’s usually the giddy one. The one who gets excited over things like this. Over being able to kiss the other because he knows it’s okay and using pet names like whipped losers. Wooyoung used to tell him “It’s nice how you’re in love with the idea of love” as a passive aggressive way to accuse him of not loving the person but loving the idea of the person and love itself. And it made him want to scream and cry. But instead he stopped saying or expecting anything. Instead of saying “I love how you hold my hand,” after a date he would say, “that was fun,” and he pretended that much was okay. 

It feels good to know that Hyunjin is so giddy over being his boyfriend. “I am too.” 

“I just wanna cuddle you all day, let’s go home.” Hyunjin whines, squeezing the blonde. 

“Sure.” 

“Really?” 

“Buy me cheesecake though.” 

“Yeah, honey. That’s always been the plan.” 

“Perfect.” 

The ride home is spent with Jisung pressing kisses on Hyunjin’s fingers and making fun of the noises of surprise he makes every time a kiss is placed on his fingers. Hyunjin runs to grab the cheesecake and doesn’t let Jisung out, exclaiming that it’s a surprise and he’s not allowed to know until they get to the apartment. Naturally, he whines and demands to know the entire way there. Fuck it, if they’re in this then he wants to test the easy stuff first. Hyunjin laughs and plays along the entire way, it makes Jisung want to cuddle him even more. 

Jisung doesn’t think about it when they get there and he lets himself in like he owns the place. He also doesn’t think about it as he yells, “honey, I’m home!” and throws himself onto the couch. On top of Minho. Hyunjin follows and sets the cheesecake down, sighing. 

Minho rubs Jisung’s back, “how was your date, baby?” 

“Fun-" 

“He’s MY baby now.” Hyunjin scolds, dropping his millionth kiss on Jisung’s head. 

“Whoa!! Really?” Minho's eyes light up behind his glasses and he grins at his best friend, “you guys are official now?” 

Jisung nods and returns the high five coming his way. “My love is growing up so fast.” He wipes a fake tear. Hyunjin comes back out from his room and throws himself onto them. “He may be your baby now but he’s still my love, you gotta do work to change that, hoe.”

Hyunjin laughs, “I accept those terms.” 

“Guys, as cute as this little moment you’re having is, I’m being crushed to death.” Jisung interrupts, groaning overdramatically. 

Hyunjin moves off of him but refuses to let go, making him roll off of Minho with him. “I'm taking him with me.” 

“I didn't want him anyways.” Minho huffs playfully. “I’m gonna pick up Chris and some food. Did you guys eat?” 

“Nope.” 

“Pizza sounds good?” 

“Yeah!!” Jisung jumps up happily, facing his best friend. “Pepperoni.” 

“I know, sweetie.” He kisses Jisung’s forehead then leaves a kiss on Hyunjin’s head, “be right back.” 

“Be safe!” The boys yell in unison, Minho waving like he’s off to war. As soon as the door closes, Jisung lays himself on Hyunjin, the elder cuddling him close immediately. He tucks his face into the small boy’s neck and sighs before pulling back. 

“You smell like Minho.” 

“Well yeah, I’m wearing his hoodie and I was just on top of him. And we’re on his couch.” Jisung laughs, poking at Hyunjin’s full lips with his index finger, watching the thoughts form in his eyes. 

“You think you could wear my clothes?” 

“Right now?” 

“Yeah. That’s if…you’re gonna sleep over.” 

Jisung likes that Hyunjin gets nervous over things they’ve done before. “I’ll sleep over. But why do you want me to change?” 

Hyunjin looks down, focusing his eyes on Jisung’s lips. “Well… I know this is dumb, and you can totally say no! Um, but, you’re my baby. And I don’t want you to smell like any other guy. I mean, you smelling like yourself is best, but, uh-"

“Babe, I get you. I’ll wear your clothes, it’s totally okay.” Jisung doesn’t know why but Hyunjin’s concern makes him want to comply even more. 

“Promise? I’m not trying to be controlling.” Hyunjin's eyebrows knit together, his pout becoming impossible for Jisung to ignore. So, he doesn’t. He leans forward and kisses him, smiling into the kiss because he just can’t help loving that them kissing is normalizing to this extent. He attributes it to the two feeling secure now that there are no unanswered questions as far as what their PDA means. 

“Go get me your clothes then we can cuddle wherever you want. We could even bring your blankets here so that we can just envelope me in your scent.” Hyunjin’s face turns so pink that Jisung almost screams about how cute he looks. 

Hyunjin picks something a bit different. The usual hoodie is still present, but it’s much bigger, and instead of sweatpants, there are shorts. The hoodie is so big on the blonde that the shorts are completely covered by it, he’s embarrassed at first but the longer he looks in the mirror, the more he accepts that he looks really cute like this. He smiles a little at his reflection, jumping to hype himself up before walking out to Hyunjin. The elder is sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket and browsing his phone. When he notices Jisung, he stares, opening up the blanket for Jisung to settle on Hyunjin’s lap. “You look so cute, I’m gonna cry.” 

“Cry bitch, I dare you.” Hyunjin gasps and pushes him over, almost like he’s going to push him off, but Jisung clings onto his arm and pretends to chew on it. 

“Ew, rabies!” Jisung flips around, now straddling Hyunjin’s lap, and pushes on his arms while screaming nonsense. Hyunjin starts screaming too, the boys pushing on each other violently until Jisung almost falls off for real and Hyunjin has to grab him and pull him back to safety. 

“I almost died!! Murderer!!” 

“Shh, we’re gonna get noise complaints.” Hyunjin laughs, placing a palm over the blonde’s mouth only to let out a scream of his own when Jisung licks it. “Ew.”

“My tongue is ew? Noted.” 

“No! Ugh- I’m gonna choke you.” Hyunjin groans. 

“Yum.” 

Hyunjin laughs and pushes Jisung again, “I can’t stand you.” 

Jisung smiles and just snuggles into Hyunjin, the two picking some random sitcom to play as background noise until their eldest friends get back. This is, of course, because Hyunjin insists that a certain vibe has to be set for watching dramas and everything would be ruined if the boys walked in while they were in the middle of an episode. Felix once told Jisung that Hyunjin gets genuinely upset over it and will kick the offender out so he’s not really trying to witness that. 

“Sungie?” Hyunjin’s voice barely cuts through the noise from the TV, his tone soft in the dark room. 

“Yeah?” Jisung shifts himself to look at Hyunjin more directly, still held in the dancer’s lap. 

“Did you feel pressured to date me? Like, did you feel trapped into making this official?” 

He should’ve known that Hyunjin would consider his feelings even in a glow of happiness. “I didn’t feel trapped, Hyuni. If I didn’t want to date you, I wouldn’t be. I’ve wanted to call you mine since I first met you. I’m just scared, you know? I’m happy that we’re official now. Trust me, I wasn’t trapped, I was pushed into finally gaining the courage.” He sighs and settles himself to straddle his lap again, trying not to smile at the way Hyunjin naturally drops his hands to his waist. “It’s not like everything is fixed and my anxiety is gone. But we’ve taken another step. I feel good about this. I promise.” 

Hyunjin has tears building up in his eyes, revealed by the light from the TV. Jisung smiles, taking in the way his face looks in this terrible light. His glossy eyes, the little mole right below his left, his cute nose and pretty lips. The way his cheeks swell and dip, his perfectly cut jawline. Jisung traces each feature with the tips of his fingers, admiring how Hyunjin leans into his touch. “I really like you.” It’s a broken whisper and for the first time, Jisung realizes that he isn’t the only one who’s scared and worried about what they’ll become. He isn’t the only one struggling to be vulnerable and give his heart away. 

“I really like you too, angel.” And when they kiss, it feels like a whole other conversation. It’s comforting and full of affection and words they’re too scared to say. The arms around Jisung’s waist tighten and pull him closer, his own arms finding their way around Hyunjin’s neck and to his soft hair that grows longer every day. Jisung loves it. Hyunjin sighs and deepens their kiss, the pressure building and the boys holding each other more tightly. Jisung’s only seconds away from letting his hormones take over when Hyunjin pulls away, leaving pecks on his lips and cheeks. He’s good at keeping them soft. Jisung likes that. 

When Minho and Chris walk in, they make a big show of it by covering their eyes and announcing that it’s time for the boys to “get decent”. 

“Hyung, I like being naked.” Jisung whines. 

“Well, if it’s you then I don’t mind.” Minho smirks, making his way towards Jisung with his eyes still closed. However, Chris grabs Minho around the waist and pulls him back while Hyunjin drapes himself over Jisung to shield him. 

“How dare you!”

“Yeah guys, you have boyfriends now.” Chris laughs, making everyone in the room freeze. 

Jisung peeks out from behind Hyunjin and meets Minho's wide eyes, “you guys made it official?”

Chris smirks, “he didn’t tell you?”

“It's not-" 

“Nope!” Jisung interrupts, “no! You’re fake! I'm divorcing you!” 

Minho gasps loud, “but what about the kids?” 

“I’m taking the kids!” 

Hyunjin laughs and pats Jisung’s cheek, “baby, you’re screaming right into my ear. Settle your divorce calmly.” 

Jisung kisses his cheek, “sorry.” 

“Are you guys gonna stop being disgusting and come eat?” Minho mocks, setting the table with the paper plates and each boy's requested drink. 

“Can’t we eat over here?” Jisung doesn’t want to get up. Hyunjin’s lap is warm and the blanket they’re wrapped in keeps him even warmer. He also had a really eventful day and doesn’t feel like leaving the safe space he’s created on this couch.

“Why? So you can drop pizza bits all over my couch?” But even as Minho denies him, Chris begins picking everything up to take over to the little coffee table in front of the couch. “hey! We gotta joint parent here!” 

Chris shrugs and sets everything down, handing Jisung his drink once he’s sat upright in Hyunjin’s lap, wrapped up with only his arms free. “There’s no harm in it, if he spills, it’ll get all over Jinnie's blanket. Right, baby?” Hyunjin nods, pressing a kiss to the back of Jisung’s neck. “I’m putting your drink here, honey. Have Ji hand it to you when you want it.” Chris places it on the coffee table as close to the edge as possible without it being dangerous. Minho sighs and heads over to them, bringing the older boys' drinks with him. The self-proclaimed parents sit down beside Hyunjin and Jisung, there being plenty of space considering how small the boys are and the fact that they’re stacked. 

“And no, we didn’t make it official. Chris just likes to tease.” Minho looks annoyed about it and Jisung understands why. He’s seeing it on both ends; Chris is kind of stringing him along carelessly and Minho is too scared to confront him about it. 

“We been knew.” Jisung mutters, taking a huge bite of pizza then feeding Hyunjin a bite of the same slice. 

“Are you guys really finna eat the same slice?” Chris changes the subject smoothly, directing all the attention to the two youngest yet again. He first gets a cute little middle finger directed at him since Jisung’s cheeks are too full to speak. 

“Chill outttt,” Jisung laughs, handing Hyunjin his own plate and pizza slice, “I was just giving him a bite.”

“You know,” Minho starts, clearly not prioritizing eating with the way he sets his plate on his lap without taking so much as one small bite, “you two have gotten insanely close in a very short amount of time.” 

The two in question feel each other tense up, their chewing slowing and their hands lowering. Hyunjin speaks first, “we have?” 

“Yeah. It’s not a bad thing, you two are the type to be either not close at all or super close to someone else. It just shocks me because you’re both really introverted and you came together somewhat easily, given the circumstances.” 

“Hyung.” Jisung warns, not liking the direction this conversation is taking. 

“No, baby, I’m not insulting you two or your situation. I'm just surprised, that’s all” 

Jisung is surprised when Hyunjin beats him to respond, “what about us seems easy to you? That we didn’t pine for months and fight over nothing? That I didn’t turn out to be an asshole? That he didn’t push me away the moment Wooyoung started coming around again?” Hyunjin’s getting increasingly more upset and Jisung puts his plate down so he can hold onto his boyfriend’s hands. “This is hard for us. When was the last time I gave a relationship a chance?” 

“Well, that was a long time ago.” 

“Yeah, and how did that turn out for me? Do you think we’re all good now? That we’re free of struggling just because we’ve established our relationship? It doesn’t work that way, hyung. I’m not fixed. Jisung’s not fixed. And now we’re figuring each other out in a new way. But we want this. Mutually. So, we’re doing this together. We get along because we understand each other. So, the “getting to know you” part came naturally. The “getting to like you" part was basically instant for me. But full-on catching feelings and building something with it? It’s something we’re choosing to struggle with together.” Jisung hears the tears in his voice and runs his hands along his arms, shifting to lean himself into Hyunjin more. When his breathing doesn’t settle, Jisung shifts more so he can wrap his arms around his neck, stroking his hair. 

“I’m sorry guys, I didn’t mean-" 

“Please stop.” Hyunjin doesn’t seem quite so mad, he sounds sad. Minho really does look sorry. Jisung knows they just need to simmer and chill. 

“It’s okay, hyung. You can’t possibly know what we don’t tell you. Let’s just eat, yeah?” Jisung is trying to be the glue but Hyunjin shakes his head. “Why not, angel?” 

“I don't like to eat when I’m upset.” Hyunjin sniffles, holding tears. 

“Okay, what do you wanna do?” 

“Can we go to my room?” 

“Yeah, baby.” They stand clumsily, Jisung making sure that they don’t spill anything and apologizing for their hasty exit. Chris and Minho assure him that it’s fine and they understand, sending their own apologies for the boy who has already disappeared into his bedroom. Jisung closes the door when he steps inside, taking in the boy who looks so small wrapped up in his blanket. Despite Hyunjin’s mood, he opens the blanket up and takes Jisung into his arms without hesitation, curling them up together and pressing kisses behind his ear. 

“I'm sorry, honey.” 

“Don’t be, it’s okay.” 

Hyunjin takes Jisung’s hand, intertwining their fingers as he rubs Jisung’s tummy with his free hand. “Are you hungry? I’m sorry, I know that I’m being dramatic.”

“Your feelings are valid, it’s okay to feel this way. We'll eat later, Hyuni. It’s okay, I promise.” The hand on his stomach settles to Hyunjin tracing circles. “Wanna tell me why you got so upset?” 

There’s a pause only filled by more slow kisses trailed from Jisung’s neck to his shoulder. “Yeah. I think I should tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha.
> 
> Oops.
> 
> We gotta a little fight in there haha. We have angst coming up so I threw in a lot of fluff in this chapter as an early apology. I really hope you're still enjoying this story and that you continue reading!! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been reading so far, your support and comments make me so happy~~♡ 
> 
> Please keep yourselves safe and healthy!! I hope you're all doing well! ♡♡


	14. i don't wanna let you go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This is lame, are we really following a bed time?” 
> 
> “Yes, it’s late and we both have work tomorrow."
> 
> \--
> 
> It isn't easy for either of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! My update schedule is regulating, wow miracles! This update it a bit more angsty than usual but nothing too bad, I promise!! I really hope you like it~~♡
> 
> TW!! Mentions of physical abuse/ not descriptive at all.
> 
> As always: any and all added character traits do NOT reflect my personal thoughts or opinions. I love ATEEZ and Wooyoung very much. I am NOT accusing any real life person of any act they commit in this story. I am NOT diagnosing the real life Han Jisung with anxiety. This story is pure fiction, written just for fun. Thank you!!! ♡♡

“I don’t really know how to start.” Hyunjin mumbles, pulling Jisung closer. The blonde turns around, his heart fluttering at the way Hyunjin pulls him in by the waist, tangling their legs as Jisung loops his arms around the dancer’s neck. They’re so close and it feels exciting yet comforting at once. Their lips aren’t touching but it would take little to no effort to fix that. 

Yes, fix- not change. 

Jisung stands by that. 

“Start where it feels most comfortable.” He whispers, scared to disturb the fragile moment they’re sharing.

“Well…okay. Okay. I’m sure you’ve noticed because you notice everything. But if you haven’t that’s okay too, it’s not like you have to and it doesn’t-" 

Jisung ruffles Hyunjin’s hair, “shh, it’s okay. Don’t worry, I won’t get mad at you. Go at your own pace and say what you can and want to share. Okay?” 

“Really?” 

“Yes, angel, really.” The smile Hyunjin wears after makes Jisung pull him closer. Or, at least, he tries to. It isn’t exactly possible with how tangled they are. 

“I don’t like being “the pretty boy". It bothers me.” Hyunjin takes a breath, “It’s not like I think it’s a lie. But that’s the first and only thing people see. Instead of who I am, they focus on my face. Just because they like my face, they’ll act like they like me. They think they like me. But they don’t. They like my face. I get tips for it. I get friends for it. I get people treating me like I’m special or important even if they’ve never met me before. I hate that. I hate being known as the pretty boy. I’d rather be the funny boy. The smart boy. The boy who reads a lot. You know?” 

“I know, baby.” Jisung sort of guessed this, but he’s happy to have it said directly to him like this. 

“You never did that to me. You denied me a date. You made fun of me. Made funny faces and voices. You didn’t act like I was perfect and you didn’t pretend that you were perfect. That’s what made you perfect.” Hyunjin kisses Jisung’s nose, getting a giggle out of the smaller boy. 

“Cheesy.” 

“Yeah. Maybe it is. But you see me as a person. You always have. You’re one of only a few people. I could count them on my two hands. They’re our friends. You’re the first person to ever be romantically interested in me without being purely motivated by my appearance. Not to say that my face had nothing to do with it but, I know that isn’t the only reason you like me. I mean, we joke and laugh and play. And we just understand each other. I’ve never experienced this before. I’m used to cold meetings and forced skinship fueled by fake affection. You know? I kissed you right away because it felt like the thing I should do in that moment. But when I did kiss you, I got butterflies. And after that I wanted to kiss you to feel it again. And then because you’re cute when you pout. And then because I wanted to show you how much I like you.” Jisung finds himself wanting a kiss just from Hyunjin talking about kissing him. “My last boyfriend saw me as a trophy. A little doll to show off. Someone to sit and take whatever he chooses for me.” Jisung wipes a tear from Hyunjin’s cheek, playing with his hair gently. “I thought he loved me. I thought he found me interesting. I was so in love with him that I didn’t realize that he really couldn’t stand me when I was talking. So, naturally, I talked to my closest friends when it started going south. You know, he’d stopped calling. Or texting. I’d see him like twice a month. You know what my friends said? They told me that I shouldn’t have expected anything. That I should know what to expect when I look the way I do. They said that it’s the best I’ll get.” 

Jisung feels like fighting some people now. He kisses the tears off his boyfriends cheeks, stroking his hair. “You don’t have to tell me all this, baby.” 

Hyunjin takes a deep breath, “I do. Especially this next part. I believed them. Everything. When my ex broke up with me, I was so devastated. Even though I didn’t really like him anymore. Not at that point, with how mean he was. But I truly believed that he was my greatest shot at love. I believed that all I am is a pretty face. You proved me wrong.” 

Jisung’s heart is racing and he has butterflies. He feels warm all over and hot everywhere his skin meets Hyunjin’s. He knows this moment is a good one but it panics him a little. How happy he is. How good he feels to be held by someone who sees the good in him. And not just anyone. But someone he adores completely. 

“I was scared to get close to you. But Lixie encouraged me and Minho-hyung told me about how sweet you are and how good your heart is. And then I just couldn’t stop. I don’t think I want to.” 

“I hope not, I think I’d kill you.” Jisung laughs. His jokes earns him a quick peck that makes him chase Hyunjin’s lips when he pulls away. 

“I would never. But, that’s why I got so upset when hyung said that we came together easily. He was there for me and he was there for you. I’m not sure what your side of it was like but he had to encourage me a lot. He gave me whole ted talks about how amazing you are…which.. is kind of why it drives me crazy to see you guys be so lovey dovey. He sounded like he was in love with you and I didn’t know why he’d tell me to go for it. But I get it now, trust me. I’m doing my best not to get jealous.” 

“It’s okay to get jealous. I probably would too. In fact, I’ll probably get jealous at some point too. Don’t worry so much, okay? It won’t destroy me.” 

“I know, baby.” 

“Minho didn’t mean it, either. Okay? I think he’s just frustrated because he really has no idea where he stands with Chris-hyung.” 

“I know.” 

“Feel okay?” 

“I feel better. But something’s missing.” Hyunjin’s face is so cute, his cheeks puffed out and lips pouted. Jisung feels like he’s falling deeper than even he finds reasonable. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” He bites his lip, leaning forward to capture Jisung’s lips with his own. It’s different from their other kisses. It’s not as soft and sweet as it is hungry. Hyunjin’s eager, kissing Jisung deeply and tightening his arms around him. The blonde is doing his best to keep up, pulling at Hyunjin’s hair, completely ruining his previous style. Hyunjin flips them so he now hovers over Jisung and the blonde is about to panic when Hyunjin switches to pecking his face, all over his cheeks and many on his lips. There’s a beautiful smile on the dancer’s face that suggests mischief and Jisung thinks he wants to see it every day. A gentle knock on the door breaks them apart. But not really. The kisses stop but their bodies remain completely tangled together. “Come in.” Hyunjin calls, snuggling into Jisung’s chest. 

Chris peeks in, “I’m leaving guys, I’ll see you tomorrow at studio, Sungie.” 

“Okie dokie, bye Channie-hyung.” 

“Bye hyung!” 

Chris smiles and blows a playful kiss, “bye babies, get some rest. Minho’s taking me, he says he’ll be back soon.” As soon as the door clicks shut, Hyunjin kisses Jisung one more time before moving to curl around him, making the blonde the little spoon.

“This is lame, are we really following a bed time?” Jisung’s words are betrayed by the way he presses himself back into Hyunjin, making the older boy tighten his hold. 

“Yes, it’s late and we both have work tomorrow.” Hyunjin laughs, following his words with kisses pressed into Jisung’s hair. “Goodnight baby.” 

“Night, angel." 

Jisung falls asleep quickly but wakes up only a few hours later from a nightmare. Not only was it his first nightmare in a while, but it was horrible. Images of dream Hyunjin yelling and hitting him, arguing and crying, play through his mind. His heart is racing and he feels clammy, quickly sitting up after feeling an urgent need to get away from the boy he just dreamt about. He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he becomes aware of his own sniffs and the tears falling become too much to ignore. He wipes at his face as he stumbles out of bed, Hyunjin only shifting slightly in his sleep. 

When he exits the room, it’s like he has tunnel vision. He can only see the door to Minho's room. It’s closed but he knows he can walk right in. So he does, he walks in and closes the door quietly before kneeling beside his sleeping friend. “hyung.” His whisper is louder than he intended it to be, broken and amplified by the sob he’s holding back. Jisung taps Minho's arm with a shaky hand, “hyung, wake up.” 

Minho shifts and groans, “Jisung?” 

The tears only increase when his friend sits up slightly and meets his eyes. “I had a bad dream.” 

“Why didn’t you wake Jinnie?” Minho scoots over to make room for Jisung to crawl into bed with him. 

“It was about him.” Minho hums in response, hugging the small boy close to his chest. “I don’t wanna see him just yet.” 

“Do you feel scared of him now?” 

Jisung just nods. 

“You know he’d never hurt you, right?” 

Jisung doesn’t respond. 

“Let’s go to the living room, okay? We don’t want him getting the wrong idea.” So they step out together, Jisung clinging to Minho like a child in a scary new place. They settle naturally on the sofa, gathering blankets around themselves and playing Disney movies to lift Jisung’s mood. It works to an extent, he calms down and leans against Minho, eyes droopy and breathing slow and deep. He doesn’t fall asleep though, his sniffles and chuckles reminding Minho that he’s very awake.

“Hyung, in my dream, he was just like Wooyoung.” 

“Was it hard to wake up next to him after dreaming that?” Jisung curls into himself, Minho wrapping an arm around him fully. 

“He was holding me but I just needed to get away.” Jisung sighs and pulls the blanket up higher on himself. “I feel bad now though.” 

“He didn’t do anything wrong, baby. Don’t punish him for this, okay?” 

“I just need…you know.” 

Jisung doesn’t elaborate, he knows that Minho understands exactly what he means. It’s around five a.m. when Hyunjin comes out of his room, eyes searching and looking like he woke up suddenly. When his eyes land on his small boyfriend curled up on Minho’s lap, his expression falls into something unreadable. He approaches them slowly and sits in front of the two, eyes watery and red. “What happened?” 

Jisung whimpers at the weakness in Hyunjin’s voice, his own eyes filling with tears. “I’m sorry.” He chokes on his words, tears falling. Hyunjin moves forward and Jisung unconsciously flinches back, his boyfriend letting out a loud sob. “Oh, I-" Hyunjin sniffles and stands, moving to go back to his room but Jisung takes his hand before he can go. 

“Slowly.” Jisung whimpers. 

“Okay.” Hyunjin sits back down, still crying. Jisung feels worse after seeing his boyfriend fall apart like that. 

“I’m sorry.” Both boys are crying messes, staring at each other with their arms outstretched but not touching. 

“Whenever you’re ready.” Hyunjin’s sentence is unfinished but Jisung knows. Come to me when you’re ready. Tell me when you’re ready. Jisung takes a deep breath, first intertwining his fingers with Hyunjin's. He stares at their hands, focusing on how soft his boyfriend’s hands are and the gentle grip he maintains. He focuses on the way Hyunjin doesn’t take more than Jisung gives him, waiting patiently. So he scoots slightly off of Minho’s lap, closer to Hyunjin. He takes another deep breath, watching how the older boy leans back, letting Jisung close their gap as he sees fit. His heart is still racing and tears are still falling. Hyunjin’s still crying too.

“I'm sorry.” 

“Baby, it’s okay.” Hyunjin smiles, his tears staining his cheeks. Jisung climbs into his lap, straddling him and tucking his face into the crook of Hyunjin’s neck. He lets the older boy wrap his arms around his waist. 

“I had a nightmare.” His voice is muffled horribly but he doesn’t bother moving. He feels small and secure being held like this. 

“Was I in it?” His voice is ruined from sleep and crying. 

“Yeah.” 

“Did I do something bad?” 

“Lots of bad things.” Jisung clings more tightly. 

“I’m sorry, sweetie.” Hyunjin rubs Jisung’s sides, gently running his hands along his back. “Can you look at me?” 

“Yeah.” So he pulls back to meet Hyunjin's pretty eyes. They’re soft and glassy. Jisung feels himself relax almost instantly. Hyunjin strokes his boyfriend’s cheeks, caressing the bags under his eyes and the swell of his tear-stained cheeks. 

“Can I kiss you?” Jisung nods, licking his lips in anticipation. Hyunjin moves slowly, so slowly that it almost seems like they’ve never kissed before. Their lips meet even more slowly, the touch light and sending tingles through Jisung’s body. He knows why Hyunjin’s being soft. He doesn’t want to scare Jisung. But Jisung needs a little more right now. So he loops his arms around Hyunjin’s neck and laces his fingers through the long black locks. He pushes his body into Hyunjin’s, signaling him to hold on tighter. He does, tightening his hold enough so that there’s no space left between them. But when Jisung tries to deepen the kiss further, Hyunjin pulls back enough for their lips to barely touch. “Settle down, baby. Let’s try going back to sleep, yeah?” 

“What if I have another one?” 

“I’ll be right there for you, okay? It’ll be okay, I promise.” Hyunjin gives him a squeeze, pulling back a little more to meet his eyes. 

“Okay.” But he doesn’t make any effort to stand. “Carry me?” 

“Yeah, hold on, sweetheart.” Jisung wraps his legs around Hyunjin’s waist, holding on tightly as the older boy easily stands and takes Jisung into the room. They settle on the edge of the bed, Jisung still on Hyunjin’s lap. He feels calmer, the physical contact with this caring boy helping his reality settle in. He’s okay. This is okay. Hyunjin is not Wooyoung. Hyunjin will not hurt him. “Can we lay down now?” 

“I don’t wanna let you go.” 

“Then we wont, baby.” So he takes them back into bed as they are, clinging onto each other. Jisung notices the tears still falling onto Hyunjin’s cheeks and wipes them away, searching for something to clue him in on why he’s crying like this.

“What’s wrong, Hyuni?” His whisper sounds horrible, the sound barely escaping. 

“This just felt bad. All of it. Starting from when I woke up with you gone. To when I found you on Minho. To the way you flinched away.” More tears fall, quickly being swept away by Jisung’s fingers. “It just felt bad. I know this hard on you. But this was bad for me too.” Hyunjin won’t meet his eyes and Jisung gets it. He doesn’t want to sound selfish and he afraid of how the blonde will respond. 

“I'm sorry. I did what felt right in the moment but it didn’t feel so right, after. I won’t do it again, okay? I won’t leave you like that again.” He leaves a kiss on Hyunjin’s cheek and the smile he gets after is bittersweet. A full smile with crescent eyes, rosy cheeks stained with tears. Jisung smiles back, sure that he looks just the same as his boyfriend does. “Do you want to sleep?”

“I just wanna look at you.” 

So they stay in bed whispering comfort to each other for the next hour, kissing softly and holding on to each other tightly. When Hyunjin is the first to fall asleep, his lips pressed against Jisung’s neck and arms locked around his body, Jisung realizes that there’s a lot they’ll need to fight through to adjust to their new relationship. 

Looking at the sleeping boy tucked into him, remembering his quiet giggles and the way he kisses every time he feels strongly, Jisung decides that it’s worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe.
> 
> Sad boi hours: open. 
> 
> Tbh I just felt the need to live up to the angst tag a little bit but I tried throwing fluff in there too. There will be more angst as the story progresses but it'll probably appear similarly to this because I suck at writing persistent inter character conflict. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this far!! Also thank you for commenting and leaving kudos, it really makes me happy to interact with you all!! I hope you stay safe and healthy in this weird time. I love you all ♡♡


	15. oddly domestic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Can I walk you?” 
> 
> “If you walk me, I’m not gonna want you to leave.” 
> 
> “So can I come?” 
> 
> \--
> 
> A day of apologies made through skinship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! Sorry this took a while to post, my school work has finally started taking it's toll .-. But it's all good! I hope you like this chapter!!~~♡ 
> 
> As always: any and all added character traits do NOT reflect my personal opinions on the real life person. I love Wooyoung. I am NOT diagnosing the real life Han Jisung with anxiety nor am I accusing anyone of doing anything. This story is all fiction and purely for entertainment purposes. Thank you!!

Jisung wakes up first. It’s somewhat warm but pleasantly so, almost like Jisung has a fever but without the sweating and pain. Just warmth all over his body. He smiles, the exhaustion from crying hitting him but he can’t find it in himself to be bothered as he tracks the limbs wrapped around him. An arm under him, wound tightly around his waist. Another across his chest, Hyunjin’s hand holding onto his opposite shoulder. Each of Jisung’s legs is trapped by the way it’s tangled with Hyunjin’s. Lips to his neck. His back against Hyunjin’s chest. Jisung smiles, sinking into his boyfriend. Even in his sleep, Hyunjin doesn’t hesitate to pull him closer. Everything is warm and comfortable. 

Until Jisung has to pee. 

He tries to endure it as much as possible but soon he really needs to go. He starts slowly, slipping his legs out from between Hyunjin’s. But when he gets to the arms wrapped tightly around his body, he’s met with resistance. He pulls more firmly, doing his best to be freed without waking the older boy but he knows he failed as soon as Hyunjin groans and sits up. His pouty lips are swollen and Jisung just wants to kiss them into a smile. 

“Baby?” 

“I’m right here, angel.” Jisung strokes his soft cheek, loving the way Hyunjin leans into it. “I just gotta go to the restroom real quick, okay? I’ll be right back.” He kisses his forehead quick and runs off to escape the hands grabbing at him. It’s on his way back to the room that he notices a meal on the table with a note next to it. 

‘I called in for both of you, heat this up if you need to. Take a day off. Together. I love you both, babies. -hyungie♡’ 

Jisung smiles at the note with neat handwriting. He then sees the time and sighs, realizing he only has a few hours of free time left until he needs to go to the studio. He gets to the room with the goal of getting Hyunjin up but he looks so pretty laying there, his long hair fluffy and falling into his lidded eyes. Jisung’s heart flutters and he happily makes his way over, placing himself on the dancer’s stomach, his legs on each side of Hyunjin. 

“Hi, pretty boy.” Hyunjin smirks, placing his hands on Jisung’s thighs. 

Jisung flushes across his cheeks, “hi.” 

“What are you doing up there?” 

“Just coming to get you outta bed, lazy baby.” Jisung takes his hand and kisses his fingers, “it’s 2PM.” 

“Me, lazy?” Hyunjin sits up, shifting the blonde to his lap, “you've been asleep all this time too, doll.” 

The new nickname flusters Jisung enough for Hyunjin to tip him over easily and he hovers over him, peppering his skin with kisses. “You’ve never called me that before.” 

Hyunjin freezes, “you don’t like it?” 

Jisung laughs, “I do.”

“Good,” Hyunjin leaves another kiss on Jisung’s cheek, squishing it with the force he puts into the peck. “let’s get up then, I’m hungry.” 

“Minho-hyung left us food, we just gotta heat it up.” He stretches his limbs, “let’s eat that. He also called in for us, so we’re not fired.” 

“Okay, let me get you clothes so you can shower while I heat the food.”

“You don’t wanna shower first?” 

Hyunjin pulls a black hoodie out and pauses, “you have to go to the studio later, don’t you?” 

“Yeah. Um- I’ll take your hoodie. I have some clothes here.” He notices the change in Hyunjin’s expression immediately, “I know, I’m sorry.” He closes the distance in quick strides and takes the hoodie from Hyunjin’s hands, pecking his lips quickly. “Don’t look at me that way. I’m yours.” Hyunjin grabs him before he can go, looping an arm around his waist and pulling him flush against him. “W-" then lips are on his fiercely, taking away his cognitive abilities and leaving him with only thoughts of the boy pressed against him. Hyunjin pulls away too soon for Jisung’s liking. “What was that for?” He doesn’t really sound like himself, his voice light and airy. 

“Just. Because you’re mine.” Hyunjin smiles cutely, pressing a light kiss on Jisung’s lips before pushing him away. “Go shower.” 

Jisung used to hate hearing those words. 'You’re mine.' Those words were yelled at him. Not a statement, a demand. They followed arguments and were followed by pain. They were used to keep friends away from Jisung. Or rather, keep Jisung away from friends. They guilted Jisung into obedience. They were a weapon to disguise abuse. But when it comes from Hyunjin’s mouth, the words are sweet. Pretty. Soft. Flowered and surrounded by “I like you" and “I’m yours too" even if he doesn’t say it explicitly. The words were followed by kiss and a gentle hold. Rather than filling him with dread, they gave Jisung warm butterflies and he wants to hear them again. He wants to say them to Hyunjin. 

When he exits the bathroom, Hyunjin’s at the stove, heating the last of the meal Minho left for them. Jisung smiles, taking in his still-messy hair and the way his t-shirt hangs off his shoulder, he’s humming softly and it only takes a second for Jisung to recognize it. Hyunjin is singing Sunshine. The blonde approaches his boyfriend, running his hands along his arms before hugging him around his waist. He chuckles at the way Hyunjin jumps and tries to recover coolly. 

“Hey.” Jisung’s heart rate picks up as Hyunjin turns around in his arms, smiling down at him as he takes his face into his hands. 

“You’re so precious.” Hyunjin’s words are sweet and soft, overwhelming Jisung with how happy they make him feel. He tries looking away but Hyunjin holds him still, maintaining their eye contact as he stares. 

“Baby.” 

“Yeah?” If Hyunjin doesn’t look love struck, he sure as hell sounds like it and Jisung’s cheeks flush all over again. 

“Turn off the stove.” Those words snap Hyunjin out of his moment and he quickly turns back to turn the flame off and remove the food. Jisung helps take everything over and pours them each a glass of water. They eat comfortably, making terrible jokes that only they would laugh so hard at and choking what seems to be every five seconds. Jisung loves Minho’s cooking, the boy has talent. He doesn’t say that, of course. But he can’t help himself as he stuffs his cheeks with food. 

“What time do you have to leave?” Jisung can only answer Hyunjin’s question by holding up his fingers to indicate 4:30. Hyunjin pouts, “that’s so soon.” 

Jisung swallows his bite of food, “I know. I really don’t wanna go either but we’re working on stuff.” 

“Can I walk you?” 

“If you walk me, I’m not gonna want you to leave.” 

“So can I come?” Hyunjin smiles, he looks like he pretending to joke about it so that it doesn't have to be serious if Jisung says no.

“Yeah. Let me ask Channie first.” 

Hannie: hyungie (:

Channie: no

Hannie: you don’t even know what I was gonna ask ;-;

Channie: okay then ask

Hannie: can I bring Hyunjin with me to the studio?   
Hannie: pwease?

Channie: yeah okay

Hannie: wait really?

Channie: yeah, minnie told me about last night  
Channie: are you guys okay?

Hannie: we’re okay  
Hannie: I think we’re both feeling really attached to each other  
Hannie: like apologizing and healing through skinship lol

Channie: no I get you that makes sense  
Channie: you’ve always been like that  
Channie: good to hear that he is too

Hannie: yeah

Channie: see you soon, okay baby?

Hannie: thanks, hyungie ♡

Jisung looks up to find that Hyunjin’s staring at him. “Can I help you, sir?” 

“You’re beautiful.” 

Jisung’s face burns and he pushes the hand Hyunjin places on his cheek, “stop or I’ll leave you here.” It gets a laugh out of the dancer who cheers and runs to shower and get ready to leave with him. Jisung deems his outfit fine: Hyunjin’s big sweater, his ripped-up jeans, his blonde hair messily falling into his eyes. Hyunjin dresses similarly, albeit more neatly, with a beanie to tame his long hair. They slip their shoes on and skip out the door happily, intertwining their fingers naturally. 

“Is there anything I should know before getting there?” 

“No? Just be quiet if we’re concentrating or recording. But these meetings aren’t super formal or anything.” Jisung pauses, “oh. The studio is quite small and we only have three chairs.” 

“We can share.” Hyunjin shrugs and even though Jisung spends 90% of his time in Hyunjin’s arms, the idea of working like that gives him butterflies. When they get to the studio, Chris and Changbin are being so loud that the couple hears them from outside the door. Jisung laughs, opening the door and closing it behind Hyunjin before he leads him to the room. 

“Hey guys!” Changbin pushes past Jisung and hugs Hyunjin, holding on for longer than Jisung can casually tolerate. After a few more seconds of Changbin not letting go, Jisung moves over to Chris, sitting on his lap while sulking. Chris wraps his arms around him and kisses his temple. 

“What’s up, baby?” This peaks Hyunjin’s interest, Jisung can see the boy craning his neck to watch them. 

He pouts even more, “Changbin ignored me and stole Hyunjin.” He thinks the baby voice is a nice touch. 

“Aww, it’s okay, let’s leave them be. You can sit with hyung, yeah?” Chris goes along with it, baby talking him right back. 

“Ok-"

“Nope.” Hyunjin pulls away from Changbin and grabs Jisung’s hand, “sorry, hyung.” 

“Oh darn.” Jisung laughs at Chris's fake disappointment as Hyunjin sits and brings Jisung into his lap. The small boy settles easily on his boyfriend’s lap, pulling out his notebook and setting it up on his knee to write steadily. Hyunjin kisses his cheeks absentmindedly, toying with the rings on his free hand. Jisung starts looking through his lyrics, he can’t seem to remember the last song he was working on. Maybe it’s because he’s tired or maybe it’s the way Hyunjin rubs soothing circles on his hands, but he just wants to sleep all day. 

“Hyung, which song are we starting with?” He reasons that this way, he gets his answer without letting on how out of it he really feels. 

Chris hums, looking through the many folders on his computer to locate the file that holds their latest project. “Gone days.” 

Jisung pouts upon hearing the title, slumping back against Hyunjin with a huff. “I didn’t even write that one.” 

“I know, but we’re recording today. You even get your favorite line.” Chris smiles, handing a lyric sheet to Jisung with his parts highlighted and full of notes. He scans it several times, reading through each line and trying to piece together a natural flow. 

“You gave me a lot of lines.” He doesn’t find it fair, especially since it isn’t his song. 

“It’s because you have the prettiest singing voice, Sungie. We both agreed that the parts we gave you would sound best on your voice.” Jisung flushes at Chris's words, covering his face with Hyunjin’s hand and giggling quietly. 

Hyunjin chuckles, hugging Jisung with his free hand and nuzzling his face into the blonde's neck. Changbin smiles at the two before picking up his own lyric sheet and beginning to walk Jisung through their vision for the song, Jisung nods along, he’s heard the track and he’s given his advice here and there but the lyrics were Chris and Changbin. He listens closely, wanting to understand so he can effectively convey the message of the song. 

“- Just, don’t overthink it. Go with these things in mind but make it your own. Okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

Chris smiles and stands, Changbin taking his place in front of their equipment as their eldest sets himself up in the recording booth. Jisung takes Hyunjin’s hands and pulls his arms tightly around himself, leaning back as he gives all his attention to the boy in the booth. He loves watching Chris record, he admires him so much and watching him work on what he’s so passionate about makes Jisung so happy. He likes the way he worries his messy blonde hair and pouts his lips in concentration, furrowing his eyebrows and standing straight. His voice is confident and strong as he jumps into his verse and Jisung perks up more in interest at the tone of deviance that tinges the edges of his words. He likes it, rather than spitting the words out, he’s delivering them in an almost lazy manner. But with impact and purpose. 

His recording takes a while, with how self-critical Chris is, he requests far too many redo’s until he deems it “decent.” All the while, Changbin keeps telling him it’s perfect and urges him to come out while Jisung is back to slouching against Hyunjin, happily receiving all the kisses his boyfriend leaves in his hair and along his neck and shoulder. Once they finally get Chris out, Changbin enters, clearing his throat and warming up a few times before sending Chris a thumbs-up, signaling that he’s ready to begin. Changbin’s approach is different in the details. His voice is that of a contrarian and he almost has less roughness is his voice than usual, instead taking on a lighter, more matter-of-fact tone. Jisung likes this too, it suits his lyrics and the tone of the song just as well as Chris's approach does. Jisung hums and leans his head on Hyunjin’s shoulder, counting the beats and watching his friends work as if he hasn’t seen it a million times before. 

Changbin comes out earlier, getting what he wants out of his recordings much sooner than Chris. Changbin takes his place in the center of their equipment and Chris slides down, Jisung walks into the booth with his lyrics, taking a breath so deep it ached in his lungs. He takes a drink of the honey water they left in there and looks out at them, his hyungs looking at him with anticipation dripping from their eyes. That includes Hyunjin, the pretty boy now sitting at full attention and watching Jisung with wide eyes, the blonde can practically feel his excitement. He tries his lines out a couple times, testing the way they roll off his tongue and adjusting them a few more times before sending an ‘okay' sign to the boys on the other side of the glass. 

He taps his foot to the rhythm as soon as the track starts and eases himself into his verse. Then, he just goes with it. It comes more naturally than he expected, given how hard he had been thinking about it. He finishes his first run through and is met with wide smiles from Chris and Changbin and a look of shock from Hyunjin. Changbin chimes in, “That was awesome, Sungie. Honestly, we have it with just that one. But, if you want, we can do one more just in case.” 

“Really?” This isn’t the first time they’ve done this but it still makes Jisung happy every time. After he’s answered with eager nods, he does it one more time, feeling excited this time. Having more fun with this recording than he did with the last. When he’s done, he’s called to come out quickly, Changbin insisting he listen with them on the other side. He instinctively moves to sit on Chris but Hyunjin sees and pouts, pulling Jisung back into his lap without speaking a word. Jisung squeezes Hyunjin’s hand and snuggles in to listen to the track. 

It sounds good. It definitely needs to be mastered and corrected but it’s a great base. Jisung doesn’t feel his own grin until he sees the grins Chris and Changbin are wearing. “It’s great, hyung.” 

“I know.” Chris smirks, stopping the track and turning his chair to face the younger boys. “Our session ends here, we’ve been working for about five hours. You can go home.”

Jisung doesn’t move to stand yet, “aren’t you going home too, hyung?”

At this, Chris looks almost sheepish as a blush paints his cheeks and the tips of his ears, “actually, Minho's coming over soon.” 

Jisung grins and Changbin smirks, the two sharing glances as they tease Chris about his little date. Jisung stands, pulling Hyunjin with him by his arms that he then loops around his waist to keep them connected, “will Minho be coming home tonight?” Hyunjin sounds just as mischievous and it makes Jisung grin even wider, his cheeks hurting from the stretch. 

“Well, that depends on how this goes.” Chris mutters, toying with a wire. 

“Wait.” Jisung full stops and looks at the Aussie in shock, “are you going to ask him to make it official?” 

Chris nods, but barely, his eyes still downcast. “taking a page out of your book.” He makes eye contact and Jisung gets the chills, unconsciously pressing closer to Hyunjin, “I'm nervous.” 

Everyone softens but Jisung speaks first, “don’t be, he really likes you.” 

“I really like him too.” 

The first thing Hyunjin does when the door closes behind them at his apartment is press Jisung up against it and kiss him hard. Jisung freezes for a second, shocked at the sudden heat from Hyunjin. Of course, he’s felt the tension in the charged air between them but he didn’t expect Hyunjin to act on it. Mostly because he never does. He’s even the one who keeps Jisung in check about that. But hey, he’s not complaining. He wraps his arms around Hyunjin’s neck, sliding them into his soft hair and sighing against his mouth as he kisses back with just as much passion. Hyunjin presses closer and deepens the kiss, licking Jisung’s lips tentatively and he hardly thinks when he opens his mouth for his boyfriend. Jisung lets Hyunjin lick into his mouth, pliant underneath his burning touch. 

When Hyunjin pulls away, it’s only enough for their lips to lightly touch, his body still pinning Jisung against the door. They’re panting and Jisung can only imagine that his lips are just as pink and swollen as Hyunjin’s. “What was that for?” Jisung breathes, still catching his breath. 

“I'm sorry. You’re just really hot when you work on your music.” Hyunjin still doesn’t move and Jisung smiles, pouting his lips to leave a soft kiss on Hyunjin’s.

“Don’t apologize. I liked that.” He kisses Hyunjin one more time then taps his neck, “now let’s go get comfy and eat snacks.” 

Hyunjin straightens up and pulls Jisung into the kitchen, “aren’t you hungry for actual food?” 

Jisung thinks for a moment, genuinely unsure if he is. Then his stomach does a thing and makes the decision for him, “yeah, I’m hungry.” 

“Let me order something for us, tell me what you’d like to eat.” Hyunjin pulls his phone out and starts scrolling through the app he downloaded filled with restaurants to order delivery from. 

“Um… can we have chicken?” He’s never been asked honestly what he wants, he still isn’t used to the fact that Hyunjin would probably give him anything he asks for. Even just asking to eat what he wants feels like too much and the way Hyunjin nods and immediately lists chicken places for Jisung to pick his favorite feels like he’s being spoiled rotten. Then Hyunjin stares at him as he orders, making sure that he’s asking for the right things and smiling softly at the little nods Jisung gives in return. It feels oddly domestic and Jisung tries to calm the swell of emotions he feels in his chest. When the order is placed, Hyunjin stares at Jisung for a while longer, something soft in his eyes that the blonde has trouble placing. 

“Baby.” His voice is so soft that Jisung wonders if he imagined it. 

“Yeah?” 

Hyunjin breaks into a small smirk, “do you like being carried?” 

That catches him off guard long enough for Hyunjin to successfully pick him up bridal style and run, taking him into his bedroom and throwing him (gently) on the bed. Jisung laughs the entire way, dissolving into giggles when he hits the soft bedding and Hyunjin climbs on top of him pretending he’s not doing anything as he crushes the small boy under him. Jisung pokes at his sides, trying to find his weakness as Hyunjin laughs loudly on top of him. Their squirming inches Hyunjin’s shirt up to the point that Jisung can clearly see his tummy poking out, soft and cute but clearly toned.

He gets an idea. He slides his hands up the expanse of skin, smirking as his cold hands leech warmth off his warm stomach. Hyunjin gasps and sits up, pulling his shirt down with red cheeks as Jisung sets his hands on the dancer’s thighs. Their roles are totally reversed, a shy Hyunjin straddling Jisung’s lap as the younger stares. 

“Unfair.” 

“Don’t be mad, pretty boy.” Jisung sits up and kisses his nose, “you started it.” 

Hyunjin’s blush darkens and he opens his mouth, maybe to say something really dumb, when the doorbell startles them both out of their little world. Hyunjin gets the door, telling Jisung to at least sit on the couch to eat his food and promising that they’ll watch a movie of his choice as they eat. Jisung grabs them each a drink and settles on the couch, waiting for Hyunjin in quiet instead of picking a movie like the elder had suggested. He smiles at Hyunjin’s confused expression when he brings the chicken into a dark and quiet room. 

“No movie?” 

“I thought that I’d rather talk to you.” 

And the smile the Hyunjin gets is something that Jisung can only describe precious and pure and sweet. Something you can’t fake or capture on camera. He sets the food down and takes Jisung’s face in his hands, squishing his cheeks and scrunching his nose. “You’re a cutie.” 

“Shush.” Hyunjin lets go and starts serving them, handing Jisung his plate before settling back with his own. “So, I wanna tell you something.” He picks at his chicken, finding it hard to make eye contact with his boyfriend. 

“What is it?” Hyunjin’s tone is sweet and calm, it makes Jisung want to cry. 

“My ex…he isn’t going to leave us alone. Not me. And probably not you, either.” 

This makes Hyunjin stop all movement, opting to face Jisung better and focus entirely on him. “Why not?” 

The blonde shifts, setting his plate down so he can toy with his hands. “He isn’t a good guy. He um- I don’t know how to put this. He just did a lot of bad things to me. When we dated. And after. And he’s going to keep doing these things. Jinnie, he’s going to try to get me back especially now that I have you. And he’s going to try to get you to leave me. It’s not that he wants to be with me. He just doesn’t want other people to have me. So just- please don’t believe the things he might say to you.” He makes eye contact now, meeting serious eyes and feeling shaking hands take his. 

“Baby, I hope you know that what he says about you isn’t true. I could never believe those horrible things. I won’t force you to tell me details when you’re not ready, I’ll wait on that. But I’ve seen a tiny part of it and let me just say that I can’t believe anyone could talk about you the way he does. I love the way you curl up on my lap even when there’s plenty of room for you to sit. And how you hold my hand all the time and kiss me so many times just because you feel like it. You aren’t needy or clingy or annoying. You’re sweet and precious and amazing and I would happily drown in your affection for a whole day. Like today. We’ve spent ninety-nine percent of our day attached to each other and I love it. You use affection to express your thoughts and I do too. I’ve got you, Sungie. No matter what that jerk tries to do or say. I’m here. We’ll do it together.” 

Jisung smiles, his heart is racing and he knows his cheeks must be the darkest pink right now. “Promise?” 

“Promise.” They share an innocent smile before Hyunjin breaks up the moment, “now let’s eat so I can get back to cuddling you.” 

Hyunjin eats fast, nothing compared to Jisung’s steady pace. So, the latter gets to deal with a very impatient boyfriend as he finishes his food and barely has the time to set his plate down before Hyunjin scoops him up again. He holds Jisung close, just sitting quietly for several minutes, almost like he’s trying to sleep. For a second, it seems like he has but then he raises his head and stares at Jisung, focused eyes scanning his entire face and successfully flustering him. “What?” 

“You’re gorgeous.” 

Jisung flushes and buries his face in Hyunjin’s neck. 

“Like a little prince.” 

“Stop!” it isn’t as strong as he would like, muffled by Hyunjin’s skin against his mouth and softened by the fact that he actually likes it. 

“My little prince.” 

Jisung doesn’t say anything this time, just presses a kiss to his shoulder before sitting up and looking at Hyunjin the way the elder had done to him. He takes in his long hair and the way it frames his face, his eyes that seem to be shaped perfectly, round and wide and sparkly. His cutely rounded nose and plump cheeks, his long eyelashes and sharp jawline. The little mole under his eye and his pretty lips. Jisung takes his time to trail kisses along his face, making sure not to miss the mole and hearing Hyunjin’s giggle at that, before ending up at his lips. 

This kiss is his confession of emotions he isn’t ready to face with words just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. 
> 
> I know we're having cute time but I need to slide some not so fun time in there you know?
> 
> Thank you for reading my story, it really makes me happy that someone can enjoy something that I make. ♡
> 
> I hope you all are safe and healthy and doing okay. 
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos! It really makes me so happy to see them and it motivates me to keep writing! ♡♡♡


	16. you got me feeling like a psycho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinnie♡: aww I can’t wait to see you  
> Jinnie♡: I miss my pretty boy
> 
> Sungie: I miss you more
> 
> \---
> 
> After weeks of not seeing Hyunjin, Jisung has to juggle boyfriend duties with best friend duties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i know i took forever to update. i was busy finishing school and i had a lot on my plate, im sorry for disappearing like that! this chapter took me a month to write i still don't feel 100% confident in it but i hope you enjoy it. thank you!!! ♡♡
> 
> As always: any and all added character traits do NOT reflect my thoughts or opinions on the real life people in this story. I love Wooyoung and ATEEZ. This story is just for fun!! I'm not assuming or accusing anything. I am NOT diagnosing the real life Han Jisung with anxiety. Thank you for reading~♡

“Do you think you could come see me at work today?” Hyunjin’s voice is higher coming out of the phone speaker and Jisung smiles, missing the bass his voice has in person. Of course, he misses all of Hyunjin. They’ve been apart for a couple weeks due to messy schedules and piles of work, leaving them only texting and the occasional phone call. Although he hates to admit it, he isn’t used to sleeping without his boyfriend holding him and he’s woken up scared because he forgot while he was sleeping and woke up looking for him. He also misses their talks and jokes and hearing that high-pitched giggly laugh of Hyunjin’s because he really does find Jisung way too funny. His heart is aching, he just wants to see his favorite boy again. 

He realizes that Hyunjin has been waiting in silence for a beat too long and quickly runs through his schedule to see if he has time. “What time do you work tonight?” 

“I go in at ten, baby. I get out at four.” It’s currently noon and Jisung’s lunch break at the café. 

“Oh! I think I can!” Jisung grins and likes to imagine that Hyunjin is too.

He hears an excited gasp on the other side, “really?!” 

“Yeah, babe! I get out at six today. I can get there whenever you want me to.” Jisung feels himself buzzing with excitement already. He isn’t gonna lie, he’s touch-starved. He’s been craving Hyunjin’s soft hugs and sweet kisses and he could all but cry at how badly he just wants to be held by him again. Okay, he definitely has cried already. But that’s a secret. 

Hyunjin hums, “do you need to wake up early tomorrow? For anything?” 

Jisung catches himself up on which day it is and realizes that tomorrow is his first late start in two weeks, with only studio work in the evening. “I actually don’t have anything until five tomorrow. Why?” 

“Maybe you could come during my break? And stay with me until I get out? Then maybe we can cuddle and sleep and have some quality time together before we go back to being busy?” Hyunjin sounds like he’s nervous to ask and Jisung wishes he were in front of him so he can kiss him and squeeze his hand and watch the way he relaxes. 

He settles for, “I would love that more than anything in the world, Jinnie. What time’s your break? Do you want some food?” 

Hyunjin has a little happy gasp escape him and it endears Jisung to unreasonable degrees, “yes, please! Anything you bring would make me happy. I go on break at one.” 

“Okay, baby. I’ll be there.” 

“I can’t wait to see you.” Those words spread warmth throughout Jisung’s body and he’s reminded again of how much he misses his boyfriend. 

“I can’t wait either.” He checks the clock in the break room, “oh- baby, I gotta go. I’ll see you later okay? I miss you.” 

“I miss you more. Bye bye, little prince.” 

“Bye.”

Jisung does his best to will down the blush painting his cheeks and the rapid pace of his heart but he can’t seem to settle himself down fully. He cleans up after himself hurriedly and runs back to the front, placing himself at the counter to continue his usual routine. Minho visits him partway through his shift and he’s grateful for the company and break from fake smiles and laughing. When there’s a significant drop in customer flow, Jisung gets to talk to Minho properly. 

“What brings you here?” Jisung grins but stops short at how serious Minho looks all of a sudden. 

“I need to get drunk tonight.” 

“Why?” 

Minho picks at the counter, “I’m going crazy with all this uncertainty with Chan. I don’t know how he really feels and the other day I almost told him that I love him. Love, Jisung. He hasn’t asked me to be his boyfriend and he hasn’t told me his true feelings in a serious way. I need to get my mind off everything for a little bit. Please, come get drunk with me.” 

Jisung makes himself look busy with a non-existent spot on the counter as he considers his options. “Okay, how about this? I’m supposed to go to Hyunjin’s job today and see him for the first time in weeks. I’m gonna stay all night, basically. Why don’t you come with me and we’ll have fun together?” 

Minho grins his pretty smile, “awesome. What time?” 

“Uh- well I was gonna go around midnight…thirty…? But we can go earlier if you want.” Jisung shrugs. 

“Ten?” 

“Sure.” They share another smile before a customer pulls Jisung’s attention back to work. Minho stays for his whole shift, saying he wants to get ready together and spend some sober time hanging out since they haven’t seen each other much lately. When Jisung gets off, he rushes to grab all his things and leave. 

“Cute hoodie.” Minho teases upon seeing Jisung absolutely drowning in a navy blue hoodie. 

“Thanks, it’s my boyfriend’s.” Jisung sticks his tongue out at his best friend and happily takes his hand to walk home with him. 

“Wait.” Minho stops, making Jisung get yanked back due to their linked hands. “Let’s go to my house. I, uh, I bought a new outfit. And makeup. For both of us.” 

They start in the direction of Minho’s place, “how do you remember what size I wear?” 

“Baby, your clothes are all over my apartment. I have drawers in my dresser just for your clothes. It’s a little present so you’ll look really hot when we go party.” 

Jisung gasps in fake offense, “I always look really hot.” 

“Okay, but this is something you never would’ve bought yourself.” 

Minho was right. Jisung looks over his outfit one more time, a white crop top that hangs loosely on his small frame and black, high-waisted jeans that make his waist look even tinier than it usually does. His lean body is exposed by the revealing clothing and chains decorate his jeans along with jewelry hanging from his neck and wrists. He pouts, staring at his reflection. He looks good. He knows he does. But he never wears anything THIS revealing. Not in public, anyway. He pulls on his boots and faces Minho who grins and gives him a thumbs up.

Minho himself is wearing a purple silk shirt that’s cut out at the shoulder, revealing his collarbone, tucked into black jeans. His jewelry is delicate and pretty. He looks like a prince. Jisung shuffles over to him and sits in front of him on his bed, letting his friend to whatever he wants to his face and hair. When Minho’s done, Jisung has sparkly eyelids and a soft blush across his cheeks and nose, his lips are lightly tinted and his hair is curled in loose waves. He looks cute. 

“While I do my own makeup can you please make me some ramen?” 

“Or….I could make you a little snack and we eat with Hyunjin on his break?” 

Minho smiles, “yeah, that sounds nice.” 

“Got it.” 

It’s while Jisung’s cutting fruit that his phone tells him he has a message. 

Jinnie♡: hi baby, will you still come tonight? 

Sungie: mhm!  
Sungie: im bringing minho because he needs to get drunk  
Sungie: but im all yours as soon as your break hits

Jinnie♡: aww I can’t wait to see you  
Jinnie♡: I miss my pretty boy

Sungie: I miss you more

Jinnie♡: shift's starting  
Jinnie♡: see you soon

Sungie: see you, baby

His heart is racing at the idea of finally seeing his boyfriend. Jisung misses Hyunjin so much that he’s impatient as he waits for Minho to ready himself. It’s around 10:30 when they leave the apartment and nearing 11:00 when they actually get to the bar. 

They move to grab drinks, weaving in between people with tight grips on each other’s hands. Hyunjin’s behind the bar, mixing drinks while flirting with the customers. Jisung watches, interested in the charismatic side of his boyfriend that he doesn’t get to see in his every day life. Hyunjin slides a drink to a man around their age, maybe a bit older, with a wink and bite of his pretty bottom lip. Jisung can tell the tip he gets in return is huge if the smile Hyunjin wears is anything to go by. 

It stops being so fun to watch when the guy doesn’t leave and instead settles into his seat, striking up a conversation as Hyunjin makes more drinks for the crowd around them. When the guy reaches for Hyunjin’s hand, he feels icky. He likes that Hyunjin pulls away politely but he feels uncomfortable in his chest anyway. Feelings of “he’s mine" build a pressure that only serves to suffocate him a little. In his next sweep of the crowd, Hyunjin finally spots Jisung and his face lights up like he’s just seen the best thing in the world and suddenly Jisung feels like he can breathe again. Hyunjin’s grin grows as he approaches the two boys and leans himself on the bar top. 

“Hey, cutie.” 

“Hey yourself.” Jisung winks and he can hear Minho groan in the background. 

“What can I get you?” 

“You.” 

Hyunjin giggles loud and Jisung can’t help as he grins too, slipping his hand into Hyunjin’s. “I’m happy you’re here.” 

“Me too, baby.” He presses a kiss to his knuckles, “can we please have vodka in something sweet?” 

“Oh! I can mix together a watermelon vodka drink, tastes like a jolly rancher.” 

“Sounds perfect, sweetheart.” He really wants to kiss the older boy and he finds himself staring at his lips in the hopes of Hyunjin getting the message. Needless to say, he’s disappointed when his boyfriend separates their hands and starts pulling out all the things he needs. The drinks are made quickly and easily, Minho gets his first and takes a big sip, downing half of the small glass in one go. Hyunjin doesn’t hand Jisung his yet, just leans on the counter with the glass in his hand. 

“Gotta taste test.” So, he takes a small sip and nods, a smirk gracing his features. “Wanna taste?” 

Jisung nods, subconsciously leaning closer until their faces were significantly closer. Hyunjin moves first, connecting their lips and immediately licking at Jisung’s bottom lip. He lets him in, enjoying the sweet taste that quickly fades and is replaced by the taste of Hyunjin. He likes that more than the candy-like drink. Hyunjin pulls away and presses a chaste peck on his lips. Jisung hasn't kissed his boyfriend in two weeks and now that he has again, he feels bitter that he doesn’t get to do it more at the moment. 

“Good?” Hyunjin hands the full glass to Jisung, his lips pinker than they were before their little “taste test". 

“Yeah. Wish I could drink it all like that.”

“Yeah?” Hyunjin’s called by the guy from earlier and Jisung pouts, “Give me a second, baby boy.” But as soon as Hyunjin goes to attend to the needy guy, Minho pulls Jisung into the crowd of dancing people. They reach a somewhat open spot and Minho wraps his arms around Jisung, messily swaying to the EDM destroying Jisung’s eardrums. 

“Dance with me. Help me forget.” 

“Okay,” Jisung goes along with Minho's movements, “just don’t take this too far.” But he can already tell that Minho’s planning on causing complete chaos tonight. Although he’s anxious about it, he’d rather have Minho all over him rather than a random guy who might take advantage of him. He just hopes that Minho doesn’t take it too far and that Hyunjin will understand that he’s only doing this out of hurt. Jisung frowns when he feels Minho’s cold hand under his top, simply holding his waist as he brings them closer to each other. The dancer starts rolling their bodies together, throwing his head back in a very suggestive manner. Jisung glances around and finds his boyfriend staring, he looks bothered but not necessarily mad. His eyebrows are furrowed and he’s got this pout that Jisung just wants to kiss away for hours. He wants to stare more, wants to go over and explain, wants to hold him and have his hands on his waist. Not his friend’s. 

Minho pulls on him more, “I want another drink.” 

“Alright, well, come with me and we’ll get it.” He takes his friend’s hand and leads them back to Hyunjin, the boy watching them as they come with a questioning look on his face. “Hey baby, Minho’s trying to get crazy fucked up tonight. As his babysitter, I’ll take responsibility for his safety. Got a drink that can get him there?” 

“You’re a good friend, Sungie.” Hyunjin starts pulling some bottles out, mixing up a drink that smells strong even from where Jisung’s standing. Hyunjin barely has the chance to place the drink down before Minho’s picking it up and chugging it down. Hyunjin holds Jisung’s stare, “don’t make me too jealous.” 

Jisung chews on his lip, “I’ll try. Sorry about this, Jinnie.” 

He just gets a smile and a drink of his own in response, “This one isn’t as strong.” 

Minho leans heavily over Jisung’s shoulder, “I want anotherrrrr.” 

“You don’t wanna slow down a little, sweetheart?” 

“Jinnie, you agreed to help. So help me.” 

Hyunjin sighs and starts putting together another drink that threatens to knock Jisung out just from the smell. Minho downs it even faster than the last and Jisung decides that this is a very bad idea. “How long until your break?” 

“Hour.” Hyunjin’s eyes follow Minho’s hands as they wrap around Jisung’s waits and wander up his shirt to rest on his ribs. 

“Promise to spend it together. Come get me if I don’t come to you. Okay?” That gets a smile out Hyunjin, softening the glare that had been directed at Minho’s hands all over his boyfriend. 

“Okay. Promise.” 

And, almost as if on cue, Minho pulls Jisung back into the mess of people trying to get laid and sloppily dancing on each other. Jisung lets himself be led into a dance he wouldn’t have initiated himself, reasoning that it’s all to make Minho feel better and it only makes sense that the blonde does as his friend wants. The realization that the elder is drunk hits half way into the hour, when Minho presses a messy kiss to Jisung’s cheek. What comes about ten minutes after that confirms that he’s beyond just drunk. As they dance, he suddenly grabs Jisung’s face and forcefully connects their lips. Seconds of shock pass before Jisung pushes Minho off, scolding him light-heartedly to avoid real confrontation as dread settles in his stomach. He switches to holding Minho’s hands to try controlling their direction and actions, facing him as Minho’s dancing gets even sloppier. Minho doesn’t seem bothered by it, laughing humorlessly as he continues his bouncing, telling Jisung nonsense about Chris. 

“I don’t need him.” Minho yells over the music. 

“You only need you, honey.” 

“I love him.” This sentence almost slips past Jisung’s ears, carried off by the loud music. But he catches it. 

“Then you need to talk to him.” Minho just groans at that and heightens his bouncing, forcing Jisung to up his own in order to keep his grip on Minho. 

A hand on his waist startles Jisung to a stop, quickly turning his head to meet his favorite pair of eyes. Hyunjin gives a smile that doesn’t meet his eyes and circles his arms around Jisung’s waist, leaning down to his ear, “why did you let him kiss you?” 

Jisung’s heart drops as he tilts his head back to answer, “He completely surprised me, I didn’t expect it. I’m sorry.” 

Hyunjin nods a little and leans back down, “give me your mouth.” So he does, tilting his head back again and tightening his hold on Minho’s hands to remind himself not to let go. An involuntary sigh escapes him as Hyunjin connects their lips, kissing him passionately. Jisung follows along as Hyunjin presses kiss after bruising kiss on his lips, the dancer going as far as swiping his tongue across Jisung’s lips before finally pulling away. Jisung pouts for one more and almost giggles at the cute, soft kiss that’s given to him. Hyunjin then kisses his cheek as he moves to speak into Jisung’s ear once more, “now I’ve erased him from your lips. Come to the break room with me. With Minho.” 

Jisung grins and brings Minho close to ensure he’s heard, “hungry?” Minho just nods eagerly, “come on.” Jisung leads Minho as Hyunjin leads him to a spacious room behind the bar, the music blocked out significantly as soon as the door closes behind them. There are lockers lining the back wall, a couch, a proper table to eat at, and counters with a sink and microwave beside a fridge. Minho sits down with a huff, pulling his phone out and staring at it angrily. He sets it down on the table and lets it vibrate violently until Jisung gets irritated enough to pick it up, checking the caller to find that it’s Chris calling-- and he’s been calling all night. 

“You gonna answer him?” 

Minho shrugs. “I think I’m too drunk to talk to him right now. I might say something stupid.” 

“I’m gonna answer him.” 

“Okay.” 

As soon as Minho’s phone starts ringing again, Jisung picks it up, Chris speaking before Jisung can even breathe. “Minho? Oh my god, are you okay? Where are you? You weren’t answering me, I thought something might’ve happened to you. Unless, you didn’t wanna talk to me? I-" 

“Hyung, it’s Jisung. I’m with Minho right now, at the bar Hyunjin works at.” 

“Oh. Is he okay?” Chris sounds bothered. Good?

“He’s really drunk. Like super drunk.” 

“On purpose?” 

“Yeah- hey, did something happen between you two? Why is he being like this?” 

There’s a beat of hesitation, and then- “Okay. So…he and I were um- doing…things-"

“Ew.”

“Shut up. And um…I called him…Matthew…” 

“Oh, fuck.” Jisung glances at Minho who’s now cuddling up to Hyunjin on the couch as the poor boy tries to eat, feeding Minho too. His heart is breaking for his friend, “You suck.” 

“I don’t know why I said that! I really don’t! I don’t even love Matthew anymore, I’ve moved on!” 

Jisung sighs, “have you? Why would his name slip out if not because you still have feelings?” 

Chris sounds tired on the other side of the line, “I don’t know. He called me recently. Said he wanted to clear the air and be on amicable terms, at least. So we met up. And it was fine. Everything was fine. But it also made me realize something.” 

Hyunjin whines as his bite of food is stolen right before it reaches his lips, Minho laughing triumphantly. “What?” 

“No one makes my heart race the way Minho does.” 

Jisung can’t help the irritation that bubbles in his chest at the way his friends are handling themselves and each other. “You two need to talk. You fucked up, hyung. Be ready to make up for it.” 

“Can I meet you guys?” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. He’s way too far gone right now and I don’t think a conversation while he’s like this will do any good. Talk to him tomorrow.” 

“I, okay, yeah.” 

Jisung makes his way over to his boyfriend, sitting on the other side of him, “I’ll tell you when we get home, okay?” 

“Okay, bye Sungie.” 

“Bye bye.” 

He tucks the phone in his own pocket, preferring to take care of it in the event that Minho gets careless. Jisung really wants to curl up against Hyunjin’s side but the boy already lost one arm to Minho and he’s not trying to make it even harder for his boyfriend to eat. He settles for playing with the chain dangling from his jeans and tracing patterns onto Hyunjin’s thighs. Their conversation is led by Minho, he’s insanely talkative when he’s drunk, and is mostly centered around things in the room. Asking what belongs to Hyunjin and where he usually sits and other little things like that. Jisung hums Sunshine, his exhaustion from work and babysitting his best friend settling in and nerves buzzing under his skin. He wants to go home. He wants to change. He wants to stop being responsible for himself and others. Jisung pinches his own leg. He can’t clock out. Not now. Not in public. Not in front of Hyunjin. 

“-sung. Jisung. Baby.” Jisung snaps out of his daze and meets a staring Hyunjin and a giggling Minho. 

“Sorry. I zoned out.” Jisung runs a hand through his hair and forces a smile, “still got time?” 

Hyunjin eyes Jisung suspiciously before he checks his watch, “Fifteen minutes.” 

Jisung nods, startling when he’s pulled into Hyunjin’s lap, resting warmly against his boyfriend’s chest with arms wrapped tightly around his body. “What’s going on, angel?” His voice is soft and he keeps pressing sweet kisses to Jisung’s cheeks, making it harder for him to stay present and alert. 

Jisung leans his head on Hyunjin’s shoulder, facing Minho as he picks at the food left, “just tired.” 

“You can stay in here, if you want. You don’t have to go back out there.” His voice is so soft and so sweet and he keeps running his hand through Jisung’s hair and playing with fingers and it makes it so hard to resist the offer. 

But- “I can’t. I need to keep Minho company. Make sure nothing happens.” Jisung remembers their incident earlier and sits up, making eye contact with the pretty boy who seems to always be there. “Thanks for not getting mad at me…you know…for earlier.” 

Hyunjin doesn’t seem to understand at first, his eyebrows knitting and lips pouting slightly. It only takes a short moment for it set in, “Oh! That wasn’t your fault, baby. It’s not like you were cheating on me. Did feel bad to see though, I won’t lie.” 

Jisung’s overcome with emotion, tears threatening to pour over his waterline. He knows that this is what healthy relationships feel like but he’s never experienced it himself. Three big words wanna slip past his lips so he stops them by kissing Hyunjin sweetly. A thank you. For not yelling at him. For not hurting him. For being honest with him. He’s so happy. Beyond happy. He’s never been treated this gently. With this much understanding. Hyunjin doesn’t make him guess if he’s cared about or how much. He’s grateful. When they pull away, Jisung doesn’t let much distance form between them. “You’re amazing.” 

Hyunjin caresses Jisung’s cheeks, leaving light touches all over his face. “You’re an angel.” The older boy traces his lips and pokes at them, a soft smile on his own. “I really missed you. Three weeks is too long.”

Jisung presses a kiss to Hyunjin’s finger, “let’s never do it again.” 

Hyunjin grins and Jisung feels his heart lighten up, “deal.” 

Minho drops his head onto Jisung’s lap and pouts, “pay attention to me.” Jisung expects backlash from Minho interrupting but Hyunjin just giggles and places a hand in his hair. Jisung can feel the fondness all over their little pile and this time tears do slip out, so he buries his face in Minho’s shoulder and hugs him to hide it until he gets the tears to stop. His friend laughs and places a hand on each of them, “I love you guys. You’re my best friends.” 

Jisung replies automatically, already having said these words to Minho many times, “I love you too, Minnie.” 

Hyunjin has something unrecognizable in his expression that Jisung notes to ask about later. But, for now, an annoying alarm interrupts their love fest and the blonde’s boyfriend gently nudges the two boys off him so he can get back to work. “Alright, come on, I’ll get you guys back in the party mood with a couple drinks.” Minho cheers and pushes Jisung out. 

And really, they shouldn’t have taken more drinks. By they, Jisung means Minho. It’s clearly a bad idea since the small rapper was his friend’s source of balance, but that doesn’t stop him from downing his new drink much too fast and stealing Jisung’s. Luckily, that only helps time pass more quickly because a drunk Minho is a very active Minho who likes to dance and joke and pull Jisung along without care. It’s only kind of fun for Jisung, his friend is cute and funny but all the blonde sees is a broken-hearted boy doing his best to distract himself from the pain. It’s hard to play along, his worry combined with his own exhaustion putting him in a foul mood. He thinks he hides it well though…or Minho is just too drunk to realize it. 

When Hyunjin finally returns to collect them, Jisung all but climbs the boy, holding his waist tightly with one arm while Minho holds his other. 

They walk slowly and unsteadily, Hyunjin thanking the proximity of their apartment out loud. “Did you guys have fun?” 

Minho giggles, “yes!” 

Jisung smiles and straightens himself a bit to give better support to Minho, “and how was work?” 

“It was fine, people were pretty tame today. Although that guy who was talking to me when you got there stayed the whole time. Didn’t even give up when he saw my pretty boyfriend.” Hyunjin shrugs, “could’ve been worse though!” 

Jisung nods and Minho lets out an exaggerated sigh, “I wish Chan would make me HIS pretty boyfriend.” 

“We’ll talk about that another time, darling.” Jisung pats his side. 

Minho rushes to the restroom as soon as he gets into the apartment, yelling about needing to pee urgently as he slams the door behind him. Hyunjin and Jisung kick their shoes off and step inside, making their way to Hyunjin’s room. Jisung flops onto the bed, spreading his arms out to take up as much space as possible. 

“Comfy?” Hyunjin teases, collecting some clothing to sleep in. 

Jisung hums and nods, kicking his feet lightly. “I wanna shower.” 

Hyunjin nods, “I can see your tummy.” 

Jisung gasps but doesn’t move to cover himself, “scandalous!” 

There’s a soft smile growing on his boyfriend’s face as he approaches Jisung, first poking his stomach and then again when he giggles and flinches. Hyunjin stops and places a kiss over Jisung’s ribs, drawing out yet another loud laugh. 

“It tickles!!” Hyunjin doesn’t stop, instead pressing more chaste kisses to his ribcage before blowing a raspberry above his bellybutton. Jisung squeals and pushes Hyunjin away, sitting up and letting his shirt fall to cover his body. Hyunjin grins up at Jisung from where he’s kneeling in front of him, “You’re evil.” Jisung pouts, betraying his words by cradling his boyfriend’s face in his hands. 

“I couldn’t help it. You have a cute tummy.” 

“My abs are cute?” 

“Everything about you is cute.” Hyunjin says it like he’s stating a simple fact, something that everyone knows. “You’re a precious angel.” 

There it is again. The urge to tell Hyunjin the feelings he’s been trying to deny for the past couple weeks. His eyes brim with tears and Hyunjin notices because of course he does, all he does is pay attention and care and understand and- “I’m gonna go see if the shower's free.” 

Jisung gets up and takes his clothes pile with him, held back by a hand on his waist, “gimme a kiss before you go.” Hyunjin’s voice is whiny and cute but when Jisung turns to face him, his face is serious as he uses one arm to wrap around his waist and the other to tidy his hair. He feels small. But safe. Jisung smiles, standing on the tips of his toes to give Hyunjin a sweet kiss. Then he slips away and all but runs out of the room before he can do anything dumb. He peeks into Minho’s room to find him asleep in his bed and laughs silently at his friend, setting his cell phone on the kitchen table alongside water and a painkiller to be collected by a much more sober Minho. 

His shower feels refreshing and self-indulgent even though it’s quick and to the point. Hyunjin’s hoodie is loose on his body and his sweatpants are almost form-fitting, he towel-dries his hair lazily and hangs his towel before leaving with a small smile on his face. He can hear Hyunjin singing softly in his room, it’s pretty and calming and Jisung finds himself walking faster to reach the source more quickly. Hyunjin looks fluffy when he comes in, leafing through a book as he stands by his bookshelf. In fact, he looks freshly washed. But…how? 

“Did you shower?” Jisung wraps his arms around Hyunjin’s waist and happily accepts the kiss to his forehead. 

“I did.” 

“How?” 

Hyunjin sets his book down and pulls Jisung close. “You remember Seungmin?” Jisung nods against Hyunjin’s chest. “He lives a couple doors down. I showered at his place.” 

Jisung gasps dramatically, “you betrayed me! Sneaking off to see another man!” 

Hyunjin giggles and squeezes Jisung, releasing him only to lead them to his bed. They settle slowly and somewhat awkwardly, the motions feeling foreign after so many weeks apart. Jisung sits back on his knees towards the end of the bed and waits for Hyunjin to adjust himself to be reclining comfortably against his pillows before crawling into his space. He lays on his stomach between Hyunjin’s legs, resting his head on his boyfriend’s chest to meet his eyes, and intertwining the fingers of his left hand with Hyunjin’s right. “Catch me up on your life, baby.” 

Jisung hums, searching his mind for something worth mentioning. Then it hits him. Something not fun. But definitely important. “Wooyoung's still trying to get me back. But like…more seriously.” 

“What do you mean?” Hyunjin looks worried and a little annoyed. 

“He started by sending me messages- I didn’t answer him, I promise.” 

Hyunjin smiles with a small huff and pokes Jisung’s cheek with his free hand, “I trust you.” 

“Thank you. Then he started coming by my job, bringing me little gifts and shit. I usually gave them away or threw them out.” Jisung shifts a bit to look at Hyunjin better, still laying fully on the older boy. “And now he’s posting about me on Instagram. Like every day. It started off as old pictures of things he gave me or I gave him with cheesy, fake-deep captions. Then pictures of our hands and shit. Now, he’s straight up posting old pictures of together, tagging me, and writing things about missing me.” At this point Hyunjin looks genuinely very upset, but he keeps running his hand soothingly through Jisung’s hair. “I’m getting tired of it. Some pictures are…somewhat provocative. I don’t wanna see all that, it makes me uncomfortable. And I hate that people ask me if I’m with him again even though those pictures are so old and I look so different. I mean- come on, I even have your name in my bio with hearts and all the works.” 

Hyunjin sighs, pulling Jisung up to sit upright in his lap. “I don’t like any of that, baby.” He traces Jisung’s jaw and stops on his chin, holding him still to connect their lips briefly. “Let me do something, yeah?” 

Jisung quirks an eyebrow, more interested in skinship than taking care of his problems. “What?” 

“Trust me.” Hyunjin pulls his phone out of his pocket and opens it to Instagram. “Get comfy for me, cutie.” So he does, placing a hand over Hyunjin’s heart and nuzzling into his neck, completely curled up on his lap. He knows Hyunjin took a picture when he feels himself moved by Hyunjin adjusting to type something before presumably posting it. Jisung’s phone vibrates and Hyunjin nods for him to check it. 

The picture is incredibly cute, he knows he’s in it right now but how comfortable and happy he is in Hyunjin's arms really shows. They look in love. Jisung knows he is. He smiles when he sees that Hyunjin sent him the saved picture pre-editing and sneakily sets it as his wallpaper before paying full attention to the version on Hyunjin's story. Hearts are placed as if emanating from the two and there’s text that reads ‘my pretty angel’ with hearts and a separate text with the word ‘lucky'. Jisung kisses Hyunjin’s hand before reposting it to his story and adding ‘you’re irreplaceable, baby'. Jisung drops his phone dramatically as he settles back into the position in the picture. He presses a chaste peck to Hyunjin’s neck and nuzzles further into his warmth. 

“Why is he so insistent on getting you back?” 

“I dunno, maybe because I left? I used to be a really easy target and he took full advantage of that. He probably hasn’t had much luck since then. You know, finding someone that stupid.” 

Hyunjin makes a disapproving noise in his throat and taps Jisung’s back as if to scold him. It doesn’t hurt. “You weren’t stupid, baby. You were in love.” 

The next words come out on accident. “Jokes on him because I’m in love with someone much better.” 

Ha ha….shit. 

Jisung wishes he could eat his words and pretend they never existed. Hyunjin stops breathing, stops moving, he just stops. Freezes. Jisung starts panicking, stumbling on his apologies and sitting up to find Hyunjin teary-eyed and serious. His stomach sinks and he opens his mouth to try doing damage control but Hyunjin speaks first, “do you mean it?” 

Jisung sinks a little, slouching in defeat. “Yeah. I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t. Never say sorry for that.” Hyunjin hesitates and pulls Jisung close enough to hug but with enough distance to face each other. “Um, do you think…you could say it? Like…say it say it….to me?” He seems to pick up on Jisung’s unease and goes red, “only if you mean it! Only if you want! Oh my gosh, I don’t wanna-" 

“Hyunjin.” He stops rambling and meets Jisung’s eyes. They’re both teary. A part of Jisung laughs at how sensitive they are. “I love you.” 

Hyunjin’s tears begin falling rapidly, “I love you too. Jisung, I love you so much.” 

Now Jisung’s crying. Hyunjin pulls him in tighter, burying his face in the crook of Jisung’s neck. They settle slowly, taking deep breaths and giggling through their tears. Hyunjin breaks their serenity as he bites at Jisung’s neck playfully, making the smaller boy pull away with a shriek. “You’re a psycho!” 

Hyunjin takes that as the perfect opportunity to break into song, swaying with Jisung (who goes deadweight and allows himself to limply flop back and forth), “you got me feeling like a psycho~ psycho-" he stops suddenly, causing Jisung to fall over onto his side, “wait, what time is it?” 

Jisung shrugs, pulling his phone out to check the time only for it to turn out to be Hyunjin’s. He knows for a fact because there’s no way he’d have- “babe!!” okay. Too loud. But necessary. “you have my picture as your lockscreen?” Hyunjin looks over in confusion and it takes him a moment to register the question and the device in Jisung’s hand. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to pry-"

“Baby, you really gotta stop doing that.” He pulls his phone out of Jisung’s hand and the blonde is worried that he really did something wrong when Hyunjin unlocks the phone and places it back into Jisung’s hand. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re my lockscreen. You’re my homescreen,” he points to the picture of Jisung laughing displayed on his screen, “you’re my baby. I’m not hiding anything from you and I have no problem with you picking up my phone. You can go through it for all I care. Passcode is 0914.” 

Jisung stares, shocked at the situation as a whole. He’s never had this kind of openness. Wooyoung used to keep his phone on lockdown and he kept no pictures of Jisung on display. Of course, the blonde knows now that it’s because he was being hidden from the other guy Wooyoung was toying with. He smiles at the picture or him on his boyfriend’s phone once more before locking it. “I trust you.” He places the phone on Hyunjin’s bedside table then curls up on him entirely. “it’s four AM.” Hyunjin gasps and holds Jisung, settling them both. 

“Let’s sleep. Goodnight, baby.” 

“Goodnight, babe.” 

A moment passes, Jisung’s mind whirring from the many events of today. Or- yesterday. “I love you.” 

“I love you more.” A kiss is placed on his head and the arms around him tighten, sleep finally hitting him as he’s surrounded, in every way, by Hyunjin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow how did that happen?? 
> 
> Are you still enjoying this story? I feel my motivation to write for this slip in and out but your lovely comments really do give me such a big boost and make me so happy. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you're staying safe. I love you. ♡♡
> 
> Get ready for Go Live!!!!


	17. i don't want to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Soobinnie!” He figures he shouldn’t dislike that so much. 
> 
> “Sungie!” 
> 
> He likes that even less. 
> 
> \-----
> 
> The morning after...and a serious talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! You guys are so sweet. You're so kind to me. I appreciate you all so much. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this chapter!! Thank you so so much for reading and going on this journey with me♡♡♡ I know it sounds like it's over it totally isn't don't worry hehe
> 
> As always: any and all added character traits do NOT reflect the real life people in this story. This is purely fiction and written entirely for fun. I am not assuming nor accusing anything! I love all the real life people~ thank you!!! ♡♡♡

They wake up two hours after they fall asleep and Hyunjin curses himself for leaving his alarm on for the whole week like that. Jisung, who's still in the position he fell asleep in, raises his head and meets Hyunjin’s eyes with his own pretty eyes. He’s glaring and calling Hyunjin dumb but the warmth in his chest grows as he takes in Jisung’s fluffy hair and sleep-swollen face. He’s cute. So cute that Hyunjin can’t help leaning down to peck his cheeks, mumbling an apology and insisting that Jisung go back to sleep but the blonde shakes his head and scoots up to lay his head on Hyunjin’s shoulder rather than his chest. 

“I don’t want to.” Jisung’s voice is whiny when laced with sleep and it makes Hyunjin coo and pull him closer. 

“Why not, baby?” 

“’m hungry.” He somehow sounds even cuter and Hyunjin decides morning breath doesn’t matter much as he kisses Jisung softly. Every kiss makes Hyunjin’s heart race just as much as the first, he feels like he can never get enough of his boyfriend’s affection. Jisung returns the kiss almost immediately adjusting himself and allowing Hyunjin to pull him into a more comfortable position for them both. The kiss lasts longer than most of their kisses but it remains chaste the entire time, just a soft press of lips accompanied by gentle hands. Hyunjin knows he can do this all day. He WANTS to do this all day. But he knows he needs to pull away when he hears Jisung’s stomach growl one too many times, kissing the pout Jisung gives him when he does. It’s become a habit at this point. 

“What does my little prince wanna eat?” And Hyunjin is convinced that nothing will beat the pink tint that takes over Jisung’s cheeks every time he uses that pet name. 

He watches Jisung think, taking in his round eyes, pretty little nose, cute mouth, and plump cheeks. He runs a hand through Jisung’s soft hair, enjoying the hum Jisung lets out. He loves that he can do this. That he can have this amazing, beautiful boy laying on top of him and love him openly without worrying if his feelings are reciprocated. He loves Jisung. 

“Oh!” His face lights up and Hyunjin’s heart picks up speed, “can we go to this bakery I like? We can pick out some sweet bread and get coffee and bring it back here. For us and Minho.” 

“Yeah, baby.” As soon as the words leave Hyunjin’s mouth, Jisung lets out the tiniest ‘yay' as he sits up quickly. 

“Whoa, dizzy.” Gosh, he’s so cute. How did he get so cute? He shakes his head, grinning like an angel, “I’m only gonna change my pants. I like your clothes.” 

Hyunjin tries to disguise how flustered he is by laughing, “Don’t you wanna change out of that hoodie? Let me wash it, wear another one.” 

Jisung perks up, “another one of yours?” Hyunjin’s heart won’t make it at this rate. 

“Of course,” He gets up, dropping a kiss on Jisung’s head and stroking his cheek, “come on, let’s walk there.” That gets Jisung moving, the small boy shamelessly rifling through Hyunjin’s closet until his eyes settle on a cute crème colored hoodie with black lettering across the chest. Hyunjin smiles, that’s one of his favorites. It becomes ten times better when Jisung runs out of the room with it and comes back dressed in the hoodie and light wash skinny jeans. Hyunjin can tell he brushed his hair since it’s bouncing much more now and the dramatic kiss Jisung smacks against his lips tells him that his teeth are brushed too. “Give me a second, cutie.” 

He dresses himself quickly and simply, using a cap to hide how messy his hair is and brushing his teeth as well. Only part way into brushing his teeth, he spots a blonde head bounce into view followed by tiny arms circling his waist. “Baby, I miss you.” 

Hyunjin tries to stifle the chuckle his cute boyfriend brings out of him but he has to spit his toothpaste out anyway, Jisung keeping a firm grip on him the entire way. He doesn’t let go either, making Hyunjin rinse his mouth and dry himself up with a clingy boy attached to him. For a moment, Hyunjin considers teasing Jisung for his clinginess but is suddenly reminded of how scared Jisung is of being too clingy and seeming annoying so he quickly decides against it. He’ll voice his honest thoughts instead. “You’re the cutest human being to ever live.” He turns in his arms to hug him properly, tracing a finger over his pretty features, “you ready to go?” All he gets is a nod and a squeeze in response, bright eyes blinking up at him enthusiastically. Hyunjin feels a moment of pure confusion that somebody could knowingly hurt this angel. He’s a baby. A sweetheart. He doesn’t understand it. Hyunjin’s mission is to do everything he can to protect him. “Let’s get going, love.” The pet name is a risk but the shy giggle Jisung lets out is beyond worth it. Jisung nuzzles into Hyunjin’s chest mumbling something incoherent and it makes him want to take the small blonde back to bed and cuddle him for hours instead of walking out into the cold morning. 

Jisung makes eye contact, “I really missed you so much.” 

His heart feels full. Hyunjin’s convinced that he’s the luckiest person ever. “I missed you more. Now, come on. You’re destroying my will to do anything but hug you.” 

Apparently that’s the right thing to say because Jisung barely gives Hyunjin the time to pocket his wallet and phone before they’re out in the cold. How did they even get out of the apartment building so fast? 

Hyunjin isn’t sure. 

He doesn’t get much of a chance to think about it either because he’s pulled down the street in a direction he’s never gone before, his boyfriend bouncing with each determined step. The sun is barely rising so their morning is washed in muted blue and jittery hearts, beating out the harshness of the wind.

“Look! It’s right there!” Hyunjin follows Jisung’s finger and ends up at a neat-looking storefront labeled with a lighted sign that reads ‘Choi's Choice' with bunny ears over the first ‘c' and cat ears over the second. It’s cute. Hyunjin can easily see what drew Jisung to bakery in the first place. When they step in, the interior is also simple and pretty, everything is neat and trendy. Hyunjin finds the cash register sitting on top of one of the many treat displays and a tall boy is smiling brightly from behind it. One of the first things Hyunjin notices is that he’s strikingly pretty and the irrational idea that this boy is why Jisung likes this place so much pops into his head before he can stop it. “Soobinnie!” He figures he shouldn’t dislike that so much. 

“Sungie!” 

Hyunjin likes that even less. 

“It’s been so long! Where have you been?” 

Hyunjin takes a deep breath and starts looking around. He doesn’t like feeling jealous but he’s terrible at hiding his dislike for something. Jisung continues his conversation with Soobin, the pretty cashier, and Hyunjin makes himself busy feigning extreme interest in the pastries. Hyunjin catches Soobin asking if Jisung’s gonna keep him company today like “old times" and Hyunjin’s seconds away from doing something rude and unreasonable when Jisung laughs and responds with, “no, sorry, I came with someone.” Hyunjin peeks up like he only took interest just now because he was mentioned, sending a small wave and fake smile their way. 

Soobin seems to be genuinely surprised, “oh! Hi! I didn’t see you, I’m sorry!” 

Jisung scoffs, “how do you not notice this lamppost?” 

“He’s not a lamppost to me, hun.” 

Okay. Hyunjin’s had enough of that. “Baby, come help me pick.” He whines and pouts, letting his smile take over as Jisung makes his way over to him, leaving Soobin staring. He looks shocked. Poor guy. Not that Hyunjin truly feels sorry for it. In fact, he’s so entirely not sorry that when Jisung takes his place next to him, Hyunjin doesn’t hesitate to cup his face and place a quick kiss on his lips. Jisung lets out the tiniest giggle and caresses Hyunjin’s cheek causing the taller boy to lean into his touch. 

“So, what catches your eye?” 

“You.” 

Jisung laughs, “what’s with you trying to eat me?” he’s kind of yelling and it’s loud enough to reach Soobin at the counter. Hyunjin wishes his triumphant feeling would go away but he can’t help enjoying this a little. “First last night, now this morning.” Jisung shakes his head. 

“Sorry to break it you, but you were the one who was trying to eat ME last night.” 

Jisung clicks his tongue, turning to face the displays of pastries. “Details.” He scans the rows, “I recommend the cinnamon muffins, those are always so yummy.” 

Hyunjin hums, wrapping his arms around Jisung’s shoulders to keep them attached, walking behind Jisung and not letting his boyfriend stray at all. He figures the blonde doesn’t mind because he holds Hyunjin’s arms firmly and even adjusts his hold for both of them to be more comfortable. “Pick what you and Minho like best. We have similar taste anyway. I’m buying.” 

“No-" 

“Love, I got so many tips last night, let me pay.” 

Just like that, Jisung’s red all over again. “Why do you keep calling me that?” He’s whiny and anyone on the outside would think he’s genuinely complaining. Soobin looks interested, like something good (for him) is about to happen. 

“I call you that because you’re my love.” Hyunjin bends over Jisung and guides him to meet his eyes, holding Jisung’s head up with finger on his chin. 

Jisung somehow blushes harder, “Shut up.” Hyunjin’s only seconds away from kissing his boyfriend when a loud crash causes them both to look over at Soobin. Jisung snorts, “you good there?” 

Soobin looks really flustered as he picks up a mini display stand that he seems to have knocked over. Hyunjin will admit it, he’s really cute. “Sorry! Um- what can I get you?” 

Jisung lists of an array of pastries that Soobin easily follows and Hyunjin figures that this is his “usual". When a pretty pink box sits ready on the counter, Jisung grins, “And coffee please! One latte, one iced americano, and…babe?” 

“Um,” Hyunjin grazes the menu, “I don’t know, baby. Mocha?”

“Mocha, please. Sweet. He can’t handle bitter coffee.” 

Soobin nods and disappears further behind the counter to make the requested coffees. As soon as he’s gone, Jisung turns to Hyunjin and pulls him into another hug. He wonders if Jisung used to hide how clingy he really is and is now comfortable enough to be himself. Hyunjin hopes he’s making Jisung comfortable. He hugs him back tightly, enjoying the warmth from his tiny boyfriend. 

And he knows he should’ve expected this, but when Soobin walks up with their coffees held securely in a bag, he’s sad to have to pull away. “Gimme a second, cutie. Soobin's back.” He hears a ‘no' and chuckles lowly, fishing out his wallet and handing his card to Soobin with a friendly smile. Jisung pulls away anyway, choosing to stand by Hyunjin and watch, holding his hand tightly. 

“Uh-“ Soobin seems hesitant to start his sentence so Hyunjin smiles to tell him it’s okay, “I didn’t know Sungie had a boyfriend.” 

Hyunjin gasps, “babe!! Am I your dirty secret?” 

“Yes,” Jisung laughs, “I was planning on hiding you away forever. Looks like my plan failed though, dammit.” 

“I should’ve known.” Hyunjin grins at Soobin, “I’m Hyunjin. Been dating this cutie for…” 

“You forgot?!” 

“No! The author forgot because the timeline is so messed up!” 

“Oh.” 

“It’s nice to meet you, Hyunjin. I can tell that you really like each other.” He seems sad but genuinely pleased at the same time. Hyunjin quickly decides that he isn’t bad guy, and could potentially be a friend. 

“We do!” Jisung nods, picking up the box and leaving the drinks to Hyunjin telling him that “I don’t trust myself.” And Hyunjin agrees fully with that choice. They say a mess of goodbyes as the boys walk out into the much brighter morning. 

“So, you guys are close?” Hyunjin wants to be casual, pretend he isn’t completely jealous of the pretty friend Jisung has. 

“Not really?” Jisung shrugs, “we used to hang out because I could never sleep well so I’d visit him early and have breakfast with him.” 

Hyunjin hums like he isn’t curious to know more. 

“He knows the fake me.” Hyunjin thinks Jisung knows he’s jealous. “Except for the part where I didn’t want a boyfriend. He actually confessed to me about a week before I met you.” 

Hyunjin’s so proud of that fact. He was chosen by Jisung. A boy who’s been hurt and played with. A sweetheart who loves so much. He grins at the cute blonde. “Wow.” 

Jisung laughs, “I can hear how smug you are about this.” 

Hyunjin giggles, “I can’t help it! You’re my baby. Only a fool wouldn’t be proud to say that.” He likes how red Jisung gets over his words. He can’t wait to get back into apartment so they can set the bags down and he can hold Jisung. Honestly, he feels that his clinginess has only been heightened by his love for Jisung. He loves hugging his friends, cuddling with them, and holding their hands. But now he feels like time spent not holding Jisung is time lost. He just wants to shower Jisung with love and affection, show him how much he cares about him. 

So, when they reach the apartment complex and hurry inside, Hyunjin practically tosses everything onto the table and grabs Jisung, pulling him close. “What’s gotten into you, silly?” 

Hyunjin buries his face in the crook of Jisung’s neck, “I missed holding you.” 

Jisung laughs, “you’re just as clingy as I am.” 

“Good thing we found each other, then, huh?” He smirks, pulling away to get Jisung to kiss him. He stares at Jisung, eyeing his lips quietly. 

“You want a kiss, baby?” Jisung’s whispering but his teasing tone is obvious. Hyunjin nods, his movements hardly visible but he knows Jisung can feel it against his forehead. The blonde tilts his head up slowly and Hyunjin’s breath hitches, excited to feel his boyfriend’s lips against his own. 

“Guys, my head hurts.” 

Hyunjin groans at Minho’s raspy voice interrupting their moment, Jisung pecking Hyunjin’s lips quickly and muttering a nearly silent, “sorry.” They separate completely, watching Minho slowly approaching them and curling himself into Hyunjin, the taller wrapping his arms around a pouty Minho. 

“What’s up, honey?” Hyunjin pokes his cheek gently, “hungover?” Minho only nods and wraps his arms around Hyunjin’s body. “Let’s have water and pain pills, yeah? Then we can have breakfast, we got you coffee and bread.” 

Minho does a little a cheer, “okay.” 

They help him out, catering to him as he rehydrates and settle his aching head. When he’s not as nauseous, they all sit around the table with their coffee and muffins as Minho looks through his notifications from last night and this morning. 

“I don’t think Chris slept.” 

Jisung cocks an eyebrow, “why do you say that?” 

“He called and messaged a lot before you talked to him. Then he messaged asking if I was home safely at 4am and then he asked when he could come talk at 6am. It’s only been two hours since then.” 

Hyunjin sighs, lacing his fingers through Jisung’s and trying to decipher Minho’s expression. “Do you want him to come talk?” 

“Yeah.” He nods, “I do. I know what he did wasn’t okay but… I wanna hear him out. I don’t think he’ll lie.” 

“He won’t.” Jisung’s response is immediate. “Whatever he tells you, it’ll be the truth.” 

“I’ll tell him to come in an hour. So I can shower.” 

Hyunjin shifts, taking a big sip of his coffee, “do you want us to leave?” 

Minho pauses, clearly thinking it over, “no, um, I think I want you to stay. You don’t need to be involved at all but I want you both in the room. For support. I guess.” 

They nodded and assured Minho that they’ll be there for him, and that everything will be okay. When he texts Chris, he yelps when the response comes within seconds and hurriedly finishes his food to rush to the shower. As soon as the door shuts behind him, Jisung sighs and drops his shoulders. 

“What’s wrong?” Hyunjin can see that everything is taking a toll on his boyfriend but he doesn’t want to bring up something that might make him uncomfortable. 

“I’m just tired. And my two best friends are hurting because of each other.” Jisung frowns, leaving his food half-eaten, “cuddle me on the couch.” 

Hyunjin smiles, instantly forgetting about his own food. “Okay, come on.” He leads the cute boy to the couch and sits down first, tucked into the farthest corner, already expecting what happens next. Jisung curls up on his lap, taking Hyunjin’s arms to signal that he wants to be held. So, he does, he happily wraps his arms around Jisung’s entire body, pulling the small boy close and peppering light kisses on his head and cheeks. “Why don’t you try falling asleep, love?” 

Jisung makes a small noise of complaint and Hyunjin’s caught up in how cute he is, insisting he can’t sleep because he needs to support his friends with a whiny voice and heavy eyelids. Even as he insists that he can’t, he snuggles up to Hyunjin, pushing himself impossibly closer. “Help me stay awake “ 

“How?” 

“I don’t know.” He sounds sad. Like everything has him down. Hyunjin isn’t sure what to do because Jisung has never been in this kind of mood around him before. He doesn’t want to talk or play. He’s tired and overtly out of it. But from what he can guess, Jisung needs affection in times like this. Affirmation. He doesn’t seem emotionally distant, just drained, so Hyunjin makes it a mission to recharge him, even if it takes all day. 

“Hey,” Hyunjin peeks at Jisung to make eye contact, “I love you.” And the blush that paints Jisung’s pretty cheeks fills Hyunjin’s heart with affection. “You’re so pretty.” Jisung hides his face but he’s not fast enough to hide his smile. “The prettiest boy I’ve ever met.” Jisung moves to hide his face in Hyunjin’s neck now, his giggles tickling. “You’re so smart too, it’s not fair.” Jisung sits up properly and faces Hyunjin with the reddest cheeks and wide, shiny eyes, he looks like he feels better. Not great, but he’s clearly pleased right now. 

“Stop.” His voice is tiny and soft, he’s endlessly cute. 

“Never. You’re a precious angel and I wanna tell you how good you are.” 

“I really love you.” Jisung’s smile is pretty. The rare kind that’s small and soft around the edges. He leans in, connecting their lips in a lazy kiss. It’s chaste and cute. Jisung quickly adjusts himself, placing himself in a better position to kiss Hyunjin deeply. Hyunjin smiles into their kiss, Jisung is always eager, he’s bad at keeping their soft moments soft. He has a habit of licking at Hyunjin’s lips and pulling him closer and closer and closer. Usually, Hyunjin keeps him in check to avoid rushing their relationship, but today he lets Jisung do as he pleases and complies when Jisung starts trying to coax Hyunjin’s mouth open. 

Jisung makes a happy little noise as the back of his throat when he realizes that Hyunjin opened his mouth for him to explore. When Jisung pokes his tongue in, Hyunjin goes along with what he wants, moving with him rather than against. He isn’t rushed, the small blonde is taking it surprisingly slowly, the kiss still feeling more sweet and loving than heated and messy. Hyunjin sighs, settling into the kiss comfortably as Jisung leans against him fully, hands in his hair and chest pressed against his. Hyunjin can feel the way Jisung relaxes completely as they kiss, the tension in his body completely disappearing and switching to relying entirely on Hyunjin holding him to stay upright. 

“Really, guys? On the couch?” Minho groans, startling both boys who hadn’t even noticed the shower was turned off. 

Jisung sits up only slightly, just enough to pull away from Hyunjin’s lips and switch to resting his head on the older boy's shoulder. Hyunjin won’t lie, he wants to kiss Jisung again. “Sorry, hyung.” 

Jisung doesn’t sound sorry at all and Hyunjin has to stifle a laugh as Jisung settles against him. “Is Channie-hyung on his way?” 

Minho nods seriously and sighs, “I’m gonna dry my hair and get ready, don’t be nasty while I’m gone.” Hyunjin laughs out loud now, bringing a hand up to cover Jisung’s ear so it won’t be too loud for the blonde. 

“We’ll behave. Go on.” Minho rolls his eyes at Hyunjin and disappears into his room. “Hey, Sungie.” 

“Hm?” Oh, he sounds so sleepy. 

He hesitates, nervous to ask this question, “Um. Does affection from people help you? Like- feel better and stuff.” 

Jisung shows no outward signs of hating that question but the way sits up and his body separates from Hyunjin’s a bit makes him nervous. “Yeah. But not from ‘people’. It has to be people I care about. People who care about me.” He runs a hand through his hair, exhaustion clearly setting in. Hyunjin feels it too. They both worked full shifts the day before and only slept for two hours, only to be thrust into an already eventful morning. “You calm me the best. No one has ever helped me feel as peaceful as you do.” Jisung wraps his arms around Hyunjin’s neck. “Is it annoying?” 

Annoying? Hyunjin’s heart is nearly beating out of his chest from how happy that makes him. “Of course not. I already told you, your affection is like air to me. I love being able to hold you.” 

Jisung shrugs, Hyunjin’s already sure that his smile is entirely too smug for their soft moment. “Because I’m cute, right?” The small blonde cups his own face and winks at Hyunjin, bringing a sort of laugh/groan hybrid out from his throat. 

He pushes Jisung lightly, only enough to make his action known but not enough to really move him, “that’s it! You lost lap privileges!!” 

Jisung squeals and wraps around Hyunjin like a koala, screaming that he refuses to be stripped of his god given rights. 

“Ahhh!!!! Shut up guys, oh my god!!!!” Minho comes out looking fine as hell and mad as hell. Hyunjin whistles and Jisung giggles loud, the dancer getting flustered by their reactions to him. “Shut up guys.” 

Two knocks at the door. Short and strong but polite. Minho freezes and his silly grin drops. He straightens up, nodding at the encouraging smiles the boyfriends send him. Jisung settles back into Hyunjin, the older boy can’t help but notice how he seems to shrink himself against Hyunjin even more. His desire to get out of this situation making itself painfully apparent to Hyunjin. He presses a kiss by Jisung’s ear and whispers as lowly as possible when he hears the awkward greetings at the door. “it’ll be okay, baby. If you need to get out, we will.” 

Jisung only nods as he fists the fabric of Hyunjin’s shirt and comfortably rests his head against the dancer's shoulder, facing the rest of the couch—where Hyunjin assumes the two others will be sitting. 

Chris comes in and Hyunjin is struck by how handsome he is yet again. His blonde hair is now dark brown, and he’s broader, softened by his giant hoodie and slouched posture. “Hey, uh-" He eye’s Jisung, Hyunjin figures it’s because of how sluggish he is. “You awake?” 

“Yeah.” Hyunjin’s heart pulls at how sleepy he sounds. He wishes he could just take Jisung into his room, tuck him in, and play with his hair as he sleeps. He runs a hand down his small frame, trying to ease soothing circles in his skin. 

“Hey, hyung.” Hyunjin beams up at him to get attention off his tired boyfriend. 

“Hey, baby.” Chris reaches out in what seems to be an attempt to ruffle Hyunjin’s hair but Jisung stops him by throwing a fake bite at his hand. “Hey!” 

“He's mine, go away.” Jisung’s kind of baby-talking. A tiny voice from his throat that’s soft and sweet and much too gentle to be true. Hyunjin likes it. He finds it endearing and sweet. But he also know it means that Jisung’s feeling increasingly drowsy. Chris laughs and takes a seat beside them, leaving some space between them and even more space for Minho to sit at a comfortable distance away. Hyunjin doesn’t really want to be here but he knows it’s better for Minho if he stays. 

Chris opens his mouth, maybe trying to break the tension? But Minho beats him to it, his expression stony. “You wanted to talk.” 

That seems to sober Chris's expression, his shoulders dropping heavily. “Yeah.” He runs a hand throigh his hair. He really is very handsome. Hyunjin thinks it’s clear why everyone is so easily caught up in all he is. Although, Hyunjin does prefer his tiny, pretty boy to anyone else. “I want you to know how sorry I am. I understand that it must’ve felt awful for you, and I know it’s hard to believe me but- it really didn’t mean what you think.” 

Minho raises an eyebrow, “you expect me to believe that?” he’s annoyed but there’s a sadness lacing his words that breaks Hyunjin’s heart. 

“I know it’s hard to believe and every instinct and voice of reason is telling you not to and I completely understand.” Chris turns to face Minho better, “I thought I would never get over Matthew. I thought I would never want a relationship with anyone else. But then you came along and I thought, ‘wow he’s the prettiest boy on this planet’. At first, I found you cute and fun and what we started wasn’t something incredibly serious to me. But then I started to feel more and the idea of losing you became sad. And scary. And I realized that I fell for you. I’ve been planning something perfect and cheesy to ask you to be my boyfriend for like a week. Recently, Matthew texted me. He wanted to resolve our issues. Leave on good terms. And when we met again, it was nice to settle things peacefully.” 

Hyunjin’s listening quietly, pretending that Jisung isn’t breathing much too heavily to be awake right now. 

“The day I…did that… Matthew had texted me saying that he couldn’t stop thinking about me after that day and wanted me back. I said no. Because that day, I confirmed that the only person in my heart is you.” Chris let out another heavy breath, “I was trying to tell you all day so it was on my mind. I kept phrasing and rephrasing a way to tell you until the words sounded fake in my mind. In that moment, that I called his name, I saw that he was calling my phone and it just slipped out.” 

Minho looks really serious. Really scary. Hyunjin sinks into the couch, adjusting his boyfriend to keep him comfortable. “Chris. Do you know how I’ve been feeling? I’ve been feeling like you see me as a fun toy. And I’ve been staying because I’m falling for you. Who am I kidding- I fell for you. That day, I was gonna risk it all and tell you that I love you. Because I do. Can you handle that? Or is that too much?” He adjusts and he’s getting loud and it’s stressing Hyunjin out. “Did you mean it? Do you really feel nothing for him? And if you do, why are you thinking about him when you’re with me? Because I only think about you.” 

Minho doesn’t stop but Hyunjin’s attention snaps to Jisung who’s whimpering against his chest, curling himself up even more. He’s still asleep but he’s crying. Hyunjin leans in to whisper in his ear, “it’s okay baby, nothing's happening. Let’s go to sleep, yeah? It’s okay. I got you. I won’t let anything hurt you, okay? Sleep, little prince.” The whimpers die down and his anxious movements stop, settling for a tight hold on Hyunjin instead. He smiles down at the sweet boy in his arms, his heart swelling at the sight of his squished cheek and pouted lips. 

“-will never be enough. But please let me make it up to you.” 

Chris's words cut through Hyunjin’s moment and he realizes that they’re quieter now. Holding hands. They look like they’ve been crying. 

Minho nods. “Okay.” 

They’re about to kiss but Hyunjin feels awkward to simply sit and watch whatever's about to go down so he speaks up before their lips can meet. “Guys? Sungie's asleep. We’re gonna go to my room, okay? If you need anything, let me know.” 

“Sure, Jinnie. Thank you for staying.” Minho’s smile is warm and pretty. Hyunjin loves to see it. 

“Hey, can you tell him that our meeting is off for today? I’m gonna spend it with Minho. And Jisung looks like he could use this day off too.” 

Hyunjin grins. “I’ll tell him. Thank you, hyungs.” He tries to stand but Jisung’s on him too loosely to switch to carrying him safely. He kisses Jisung’s head, “baby, wake up, please. Let’s go to bed, yeah?” 

Jisung shifts, with his eyes still closed, and stands slowly. Hyunjin smiles at his sleepy boyfriend and quickly takes him into his arms as soon as he stands. He walks them to his room slowly and makes sure to pull the blankets back well enough before easing them both into bed, pulling the blankets up high. Jisung backs up to press his back to Hyunjin’s chest, creating the softest warmth in his heart. He wraps an arm entirely around Jisung’s small waist and pulls him against himself even more, letting the blonde rest his head on Hyunjin’s other arm and their legs tangle together. 

“Let’s go on a date later.” 

Hyunjin is pretty sure Jisung nods. But he’s even more sure that Jisung’s asleep. 

“Okay. I love you, baby.” 

Jisung draws a heart on Hyunjin’s hand that’s holding his waist. Hyunjin nuzzles into Jisung’s neck as his heart threatens to beat out of his chest. 

Hyunjin’s inexpressibly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe. 
> 
> Surpise!! Hyunjin POV as a thank you for being so kind and supportive♡ 
> 
> Fluffy filler chapter? Yes please~ 
> 
> Drama is coming so this is a chapter to both apologize and prepare your hearts!! I hope you still enjoy and continue reading with me!! ♡♡ 
> 
> Special thank you to those of you who leave such sweet comments to me, you really do motivate me and you make me so happy. I love writing this story and I'm endlessly happy to share it and have others enjoy it. I love you♡
> 
> ♡♡ !!!! ♡♡
> 
> I have a skz stan twt now where I write short AUs and I have one completed and one ongoing Hyunsung AU up so if you're interested... 
> 
> https://twitter.com/sungiegoose?s=09
> 
> I'd love it if you checked it out!! 
> 
> ♡♡ !!!! ♡♡


	18. stay tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Let’s get ready to go, baby.” 
> 
> "no.” 
> 
> “I’m pretty sure they’re about to make out.” 
> 
> “okay, let’s get ready now.” 
> 
> \--- 
> 
> Jisung and Hyunjin face one of their worst conflicts yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I did it again hahaha. Because you're patient with me, I'd like to tell you what happened. I wrote this chapter out and it was ready to go up 2 weeks after the last one but as I reread it, the conflict felt forced and I really disliked the way it turned out. So I deleted the 5,000 words and started over. I hope you like this chapter, I worked hard on it. And I will keep trying to update more frequently.
> 
> Do you prefer shorter, more frequent chapters or longer, less frequent chapters? 
> 
> Please let me know. I really appreciate you♡♡
> 
> TW // homophobia, no slurs
> 
> As always: any and all added character traits do NOT reflect my personal opinions nor do they reflect the real people on whom these characters are based. I am NOT diagnosing the real life Han Jisung with anxiety. This is all for fun!!! I hope you enoy ♡

Things take a turn half way into their date. 

Hyunjin has taken Jisung to a beautiful restaurant that they dressed up for, their first fancy date…ever? Jisung doesn’t quite remember but he’s almost sure. The ambience is nice, the food is yummy, and Jisung loves who he’s with.

But his phone hasn’t stopped ringing all night. 

He knows it’s Wooyoung. The number isn’t saved. And there are texts in between the numerous calls. 

Wooyoung’s furious. 

This was once the place he would take Jisung to when he wanted to make up for hitting him. The host was even surprised to see him and even more when he realized Jisung was with someone else. And someone decided Wooyoung needed to know about this. That, or he’s still stalking Jisung’s Instagram and saw his cheesy picture. 

Hyunjin’s trying his best to keep calm. He’s ignoring the situation well even though his pout won’t seem to ease much even when he smiles. In fact, Jisung notices it only relaxes when he makes his boyfriend laugh his high-pitched giggly laugh. He knows it’s because Hyunjin’s human and even though he’s very kind and understanding, he still has things that bother him. But it still makes him nervous. Makes him tell more jokes than usual. Makes him smile and bounce and feel sick to his stomach because he doesn’t want Hyunjin to be upset with him. 

“Baby.” Jisung’s heart drops. Hyunjin’s serious. But he called him baby so that’s a good sign. 

Right?

“Yeah?” He purposely looks cute in hopes of inciting some sympathy. 

“You don’t have to be nervous. I’m mad at that asshole. Not at you.” 

Oh. 

“Really?” He wishes he sounded less timid. 

“Yes, really.” Hyunjin offers a smile that’s almost completely void of irritation, “this isn’t your fault, angel. Let’s finish eating so we can go shop, yeah?” 

Jisung just smiles back before digging in to his food. He’s really grateful that Hyunjin cares enough to notice his behavior, understand the reason behind it, and do his best to help him feel better. The mood is lighter once Jisung blocks the new number and pockets his phone for the rest of their meal and the two boys get to finally joke around mutually while eating more than they probably should. When Jisung takes his last bite, Hyunjin calls the waiter and orders a slice of cheesecake for him, insisting that no one is ever too full for dessert. Jisung tells him that “no, I am definitely too full for dessert" but when the cake is placed in front of him, pristinely cut and decorated with strawberries, he can’t help but grin as he digs in. Hyunjin has his own dessert, a brownie which he gives Jisung a bite of as well, but Jisung feels as though Hyunjin spends more time focused on him than he does on eating. 

“You’re so pretty.” 

Jisung pauses his chewing, wide eyes lifting to meet Hyunjin's, “what?” 

Hyunjin laughs and it’s so bright Jisung forgets everything else. “Why are you so shocked?” Then he pouts, switching to a form of baby talk, “do I not call you pretty enough?” 

“It's not-" Jisung’s cut off by a ringtone he’s never heard before and Hyunjin stiffens entirely. 

“One second, baby.” He barely moves as he picks up the call, bringing the phone to his ear and speaking a clear and polite greeting through the microphone. “Good evening, father.” 

Jisung starts, completely freezing at the difference in his boyfriend. 

“Yes, sir.” Hyunjin looks irritated already, making an expression that Jisung’s never seen on him before but he’s keeping his voice completely calm and collected. “Not at all, sir.” He stares at Jisung suddenly, the latter’s heartbeat picking up with nerves. “I’m not sure.” A pause that only worsens Jisung’s anxiety while he stares back at Hyunjin’s worried eyes. “Yes, sir. I understand. Yes. Thank you, sir. Goodnight.” He drops his phone with a loud clatter that Jisung doesn’t really appreciate. 

“Um- what happened?” He’s scared to ask. He isn’t sure if this topic is okay. 

“Do you trust me?” 

Of course- “I do.” 

“Come home with me.” 

“Okay…? Hyunjin, that doesn’t answer my question.” 

“I don’t mean the apartment.” 

Um?

“Come to my family’s house. Is there any way you can?” 

Just because he can doesn’t mean he wants to. “When?” 

“This weekend. For the whole weekend.” 

No, thank you. “Okay.” 

“I promise I’ll explain later.” 

Later doesn’t come until they’re waking up on Friday morning with Hyunjin telling Jisung to pack his things so they can arrive this evening. Jisung pouts, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as Hyunjin starts to rush through his morning routine. He’s fast, almost panicked, as he prepares an overnight bag for both of them to share, throwing in mostly clothes of his own which makes Jisung laugh since his boyfriend knows that he’s more likely to steal clothes from him than wear his own. “Am I forgetting anything?” 

“I don’t know, baby.” Hyunjin continues pacing, listing things under his breath. “Come here, Hyuni.” Jisung opens his arms and legs for his boyfriend to curl up against him, smiling when there’s not a beat of hesitation before Hyunjin throws himself onto Jisung’s smaller body. They wrap together easily, Hyunjin sighing and still fidgeting nervously, “tell me what’s happening.” 

Jisung plays with Hyunjin’s long hair, running his nails along his boyfriend’s scalp in hopes of soothing his nerves. Hyunjin takes a deep breath, now toying with the hem of Jisung’s sweatpants, “my parents know I’m gay. But they were always hoping I’d find a nice girl and realize it was just a phase all along.” Jisung scoffs. The usual. “My dad thinks that me being with you equates me being a plaything for any and all men. I’ve kept him at bay but someone, and I think we both know who, emailed my dad a photo of that picture we posted the other day. The one of me on your lap. And now…he wants to meet you. I guess to make sure we have a real relationship? Or maybe to test you? I promise he isn’t that scary he just…doesn’t want to accept that you really care about me.” Jisung tenses with the implications of that statement. “I promise he’s just being overprotective.” 

“Okay, I understand.” Even to himself, Jisung sounds upset. It’s not that he’s upset with Hyunjin, he’s just upset with the situation and how nervous it makes him. And then something struck him, “wait- how would Wooyoung even get access to your father’s information?” 

“Oh. He’s a realtor. Has billboards everywhere and well…he likes to claim his business is father and son as an excuse to put my face on there with him.” Jisung just hums, still playing with Hyunjin’s hair as the taller boy lays on his chest. “I’m really nervous.” 

“I can tell, baby. How about we be calm about this, yeah? We’re both nervous, so let’s try to take it easy so we don’t stress ourselves out too badly.” Hyunjin huffs but nods and sits up, pulling Jisung up by his arms. 

“Wanna have some breakfast?” 

“No.” 

“Yes, come on.” Hyunjin pulls Jisung off the bed a little too firmly, making the smaller boy crash into him harshly. 

“Ow!” It’s a reflexive yelp but Hyunjin frets nonetheless, pulling Jisung into a hug before separating them and checking him all over. He scans him as he pets his head gently, making Jisung close his eyes in comfort. 

“Sorry, sweetie.” Jisung’s heart pulls at how genuinely sorry Hyunjin is over a simple mishap, sparkly eyes pleading an already-closed case. 

“It’s okay, Hyuni! You didn’t mean to.” Jisung squeezes before pulling away, “come on.” 

Minho’s having breakfast in the living room when they step out of the room and he looks incredibly sleepy and even worse, bored. Jisung waits for the perfect time when Minho sets down his cereal bowl on the coffee table to run over and jump into his lap. “Good morning to you, too.” Minho chuckles, hugging the grinning boy on his lap before turning to his roommate, “good morning, Jinnie.” 

Hyunjin grins and Jisung rejoices at the fact that his best friend and his boyfriend only seem to become closer and closer. “’morning hyungie!” Jisung watches as he lets himself be pet by Minho and happily receives a kiss to his forehead, “cereal, baby?” 

“Yes, please!” 

“Okay.” Hyunjin disappears into the kitchen and Jisung turns to Minho, playing with hair and cuddling into him comfortably. 

“Excuse meeee.” Jisung jumps at Chris's voice and snaps his head over in the direction of their eldest friend, smiling and the jokingly stern demeanor Chris is putting on. “I believe he’s mine?” 

And Jisung’s just about to claim Minho when he’s lifted out of his friend’s lap and pulled into Chris's instead. Minho scoffs and crosses his arms as he watches Chris nuzzle into Jisung’s neck. “I had him first.” 

“Not true.” 

“He loves me more.” 

“Do you?” 

Jisung’s having fun and he isn’t sure how to answer but it ends up not mattering because Hyunjin walks in with his cereal and all Jisung feels like doing is sticking to him as if he hasn’t been attached to him for the past twelve hours. “Thank you, baby!!” 

Hyunjin pulls the cereal out of Jisung’s reach, getting a confused pout out of him. “It’s not free.” He leans down, somehow balancing the cereal as he gets to Jisung’s eye level, “it costs…one kiss.” 

Jisung flushes as Minho groans, “you guys are disgusting.” 

But the couple only laughs as they close the space between them, kissing each other sweetly. Jisung immediately becomes immersed in his kisses with Hyunjin, focused entirely on how his lips feel against the other's and the giddiness that builds in his stomach each time. He’s thoroughly convinced that he’s addicted, feeling touch-starved even though Hyunjin babies him to no end and gives him all the affection in the world 

It’s Chris who separates them, exclaiming that “I don’t need you guys making out on my lap!” 

Minho snickers, “I mean,-" 

“Shut the fuck up.” Chris laughs, moving to pull his own boyfriend into his lap and cuddling against him automatically. Hyunjin takes his seat next to Jisung and hands him his cereal, kissing his cheek one more time before they begin to eat in complete silence. Both boys are slow eaters, taking longer to finish a bowl of cereal than normal, and Jisung sees the exact moment the couple across from them loses their patience. 

“So, are you guys nervous?” Minho looks between the two boys, a tentative smile on his face. 

“Yeah.” Maybe the response is a bit vague but Jisung doesn’t really feel like opening the floodgates on this one just yet. 

“Cool…” Chris nudges Minho hard, “ow! That hurt, you little hoe!” Chris giggles loud and starts a little wrestling match that has Jisung and Hyunjin moving closer to the opposite end of the couch. 

“Who do you think will get hurt first?” Hyunjin whispers, leaving a kiss by Jisung’s ear while he’s at it. 

Jisung giggles, leaning against his boyfriend as he finishes his bowl, “Minho.” 

He can feel Hyunjin's hum, “I say Chan-hyung because Minho's a savage.” 

“I see that.” Jisung sets his bowl down and starts scooting himself back into Hyunjin’s lap, really slowly in the hopes that Hyunjin will notice and take him into his lap on his own. It’s when Jisung starts to push even harder that Hyunjin gets the message and wraps an arm around his waist to tug him fully onto his lap. The blonde smiles, relaxing against his boyfriend as he wraps around him, laughing at the shout Minho lets out when Chris nearly flips him over. Hyunjin presses a kiss to Jisung’s hair, leading a trail to his ear.

“Let’s get ready to go, baby.” 

Jisung whines and presses himself back, crashing his shoulders into Hyunjin’s chest, “no.” 

“I’m pretty sure they’re about to make out.” 

Jisung turns his full attention back to the couple and, sure enough, the mood around them changed quick as Chris now hovers over Minho. Jisung stands quickly, “okay, let’s get ready now.” 

Hyunjin laughs his heart-warming laugh and follows Jisung into his room with a bounce in his step. They close the door behind them “to be safe" and Jisung’s about to throw himself back onto the bed when Hyunjin grabs his arm to keep him up. 

“Nooo, we have to actually get dressed and make sure we packed the right things. They’re expecting us at any time now. Up, baby.” 

Jisung pouts, “I don’t wanna change.” 

“Jisung, I will literally change your clothes myself.” 

“Sure, you will.” Jisung scoffs. He isn’t sure why he’s being such a brat about it, maybe it’s his way of prolonging the inevitable meeting that they’re preparing for. Either way, Hyunjin’s never seen him shirtless before, so he’s very sure about his safety in this moment. 

Then Hyunjin grips the hem of his hoodie and pulls it up without hesitation, Jisung squeals and pushes it down, “it’s not like I haven’t seen your tummy before.” 

“You haven’t.” 

“So you don’t recall laying on my bed in a crop top and me tickling your tummy?” 

Jisung flushes as the memories come back and he releases his grip, letting Hyunjin pull his hoodie over his head. “I forgot.” 

Hyunjin lightly tickles his stomach, the touch sending jolts through his body as his blush grows darker. “Yeah, I figured.” Jisung watches his boyfriend look through the clothes he’s accumulated during their many sleepovers and pick out a pretty button up and black jeans. “Come on, wear these, okay?” 

“I hate dressing up.” Jisung pouts, pulling the shirt on and buttoning it anyway. It hangs off of him nicely, not as oversized as most of his clothes tend to be. 

“This isn’t dressing up, you baby. Besides, you get to wear my clothes for the most part when we’re there. Just for today, okay? I don’t want him to make any comments right off the bat.” Jisung meets Hyunjin’s sincere eyes and suddenly feels terrible for making things harder on him. 

“I’m sorry, I know you’re stressed.” 

Hyunjin pauses, looking at Jisung with something foreign taking over his expression. “It’s okay, angel. Let’s just do this, okay?” 

Jisung nods, “Yeah.” Hyunjin smiles, his eyes always seeming to soften when they’re looking at each other. The older boy leans in, pressing a lingering kiss on Jisung’s lips. 

“I love you, Sungie.” 

“I love you too, Jinnie.” 

The ride to the house is quiet. A little bit tense. Ten minutes into it, Hyunjin places a hand on Jisung’s bouncing knee, halting his anxious movement before taking his hand and tangling their fingers. The smaller cuddles up to his boyfriend as well as he possibly can with the seatbelt holding him in his seat, taking claim of his right arm for the rest of their journey. He half spaces out, half talks the entire way there so the blonde really can’t tell how long it takes but he does notice how pretty the neighborhood is and smiles as he takes in the big trees and gated houses. The car stops in front of a dark grey house, Hyunjin hurriedly paying the taxi driver and pulling Jisung out to grab their bags packed with (mostly) Hyunjin’s clothing. 

“Ready?” 

Jisung takes a deep breath, attempting to calm his racing heart before he nods, “yeah.” 

Hyunjin smiles, sliding the gate door opening and letting Jisung inside before following, leading him up the steps and to the door. Before knocking, Hyunjin pulls Jisung into a kiss, shocking him into stillness before he gathers himself well enough to return the chaste, yet intense kiss. Hyunjin pulls away, keeping his hand at the back of Jisung’s head, “be yourself, okay?” Jisung can only nod before Hyunjin kisses him once more, sweet and loving. He pulls away and pets Jisung’s hair back into place, the younger having a heart attack at the sudden affection. “Let’s do this.” Hyunjin knocks and the door opens shortly after, it was a quick enough reaction to make Jisung question if they were being watched or listened to beforehand. 

“Hyunjin-ah!” Hyunjin’s mom is cute, a short lady with a bright smile, she turns to Jisung and somehow brightens, “You must be Jisung! It’s nice to meet you!” 

Jisung returns the smile, “it’s nice to meet you too, ma'am!” 

“Oh,” she laughs, “you can just call me mom.” 

The boys blush, laughing off the painfully domestic feelings before the moment is broken as Hyunjin’s dad speaks, “Son, if you want a small, pretty thing like this I can find you a girl, easily.” 

Jisung’s heart drops. 

“Dad.” There’s something dangerous in Hyunjin’s tone, but not enough to be outwardly rude. “I don’t want a girl.”

“Well, at least this boy's smaller than you.” 

Jisung’s heart is racing in his ears, tears threatening to push past his waterline but he steadies himself. He will not cry in front of this man. He refuses. 

Hyunjin sighs, speaking again in a cheery tone that sounds much too fake, “Yeah! Isn’t he so cute?” 

The older man's expression sours, “cute. Yes.” Although it doesn’t seem like he’s agreeing to compliment Jisung. 

Hyunjin’s mom clears her throat, “come in! Are you hungry?” 

Jisung meets his boyfriend’s gaze, “are you, Sungie?” 

He just shakes his head to indicate that he isn’t, not trusting his wavering vocal cords. 

“Thank you, mom, we’re not hungry. We’re just gonna head up and settle our things and we’ll come back down.” And Hyunjin’s just about to take Jisung up when his dad stops them. 

“You’re not sharing a room.” 

“Why not?” Now Hyunjin actually just sounds mad. 

“Because this is my house and I don’t care to hear what it is that you do at night. He will stay in the guest room.” 

“That’s dumb.” Jisung gasps at Hyunjin’s final words before he gets pulled up the stairs and into the bedroom. Hyunjin shuts the door harshly and locks the door, sinking to the floor as he leans against it. “I’m sorry. He shouldn’t be talking to you like that.” 

Jisung sighs, watching Hyunjin’s lips tremble as he looks down. He walks over and settles on his lap, guiding his head up to meet his eyes. “It’s not your fault.” 

“You’re crying."

“So are you.” 

Hyunjin giggles, pressing a wet kiss to Jisung’s lips. “This is already terrible.” 

“Where is the guest room?” 

“At the end of the hall.” 

Jisung groans, letting his tears fall and ignoring them as they go. “I don’t wanna sleep there.” 

“I don’t want you to sleep there.” Hyunjin admits, running his hands up and down the small boy’s sides. “I want my pretty baby here with me.” 

Jisung suddenly feels ten times lighter, his head full with the pet name. He can feel how red his cheeks are and the cheesiness of his smile. “I want that too. But we can’t.” 

“The fuck we can’t-" 

“No,” Jisung chides with a smile, “don’t fight with your dad because of me. Let’s have sleepovers all next week to make up for it, yeah?” 

That gets a smile out of the pouty boy, “yeah.” 

“Kiss?” 

A bigger smile now, as Hyunjin leans up to kiss Jisung softly, the tension leaving his body as he slumps against the door and makes Jisung come forward to keep their lips connected. The dancer deepens their kiss with a sigh, straightening up and pushing against Jisung, bringing them to stand before they land on Hyunjin’s bed. Jisung giggles against his boyfriend’s mouth, gentle hands holding him close so as not to break the kiss. The blonde is in need of a deep breath but he can’t bring himself to part from Hyunjin. It feels like he’s recharging through their kiss. If he’s being honest, so is Jisung. It’s comfortable, they’re laying side by side, completely tangled up in each other as they maintain their loving kiss. Despite its duration, it remains chaste and sweet. When Hyunjin finally pulls away, he leaves at least five pecks on Jisung’s lips and cheeks. 

“Your dad is scary.” 

Hyunjin sighs and ruffles the hair on the back of Jisung’s head, “I know, baby.” 

“Let’s just hide in here and make out.” 

Hyunjin laughs now, hugging Jisung tightly and rolling them around on his bed. The small boy is so wrapped up in the movement that he doesn’t notice Hyunjin’s hands sneaking beneath his shirt until he’s being ruthlessly tickled. “I love your tummy!!” The dancer coos. 

“But-" Jisung practically screams, “my abs died!!” he howls in laughter, trying to get away from his boyfriend.

“I love it either way-wah!!!” Hyunjin falls off the bed, bringing Jisung down on top of him, both landing with groans. “ow.” 

“You’re dumb.” 

“You’re annoying.” 

“You’re-"

There’s a panicked knock at the door that makes Jisung jump harder than normal. “Are you okay boys?!!! Don’t forget where you are!! Hyunjin, your dad is not happy, come out of there!!!” 

Hyunjin huffs, still keeping his arms wrapped around Jisung’s body, “okay!” 

Jisung stands, pulling his boyfriend up with him. “Ready?” 

He watches the pout, the shake of the head, “no.” Then there’s another press of lips against his own. It’s quick and leaves Jisung wanting more, he’s still stuck on their last kiss. “Okay, let’s go". 

In all honesty, it’s not too hard sitting in the living room of Hyunjin's childhood home and listening to stories. Even if Hyunjin’s dad won’t stop sending backhanded compliments Jisung’s way about how “small and delicate” he is or how “he doesn’t even look like a man". Jisung laughs it off and pretends the older man means it as a compliment as Hyunjin fumes beside him, taking his hand and squeezing a bit too hard. 

“But, I must say, it’s even more shocking seeing you in person after that picture!” 

Jisung’s genuinely confused now, “why is that?” 

“Well, seeing my son on your lap like that made me think you might be keeping him as a pretty toy but it’s clear who the man in this situation is.” The man smirks. 

“Dad.” Hyunjin warns. “Stop.” 

“Relax son, he gets it, right?” Suddenly, eyes are on Jisung and the tight wire he wound around himself to keep the fake smile on his face loosens and he can feel the weight on his chest begin to crush him. 

“No, dad, stop talking to him like he’s less than human. Just like he’s dating a boy, me, I’m dating a boy. Him. He is my boyfriend. If you can’t bother to pay him basic respect, we will leave and we won’t come back. Because not only are you refusing to respect him, you’re refusing to respect me. And the fact that he makes your son happy should be reason enough to be kind to him. Come on, Sungie, we’re taking a walk.” Hyunjin stands, pulling a shocked Jisung past his parents and out the door. They don’t make it far though, once they turn the corner Hyunjin releases Jisung’s hand and drops into a crouch, knees against his chest while pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. 

Jisung frowns, catching the quiet sniffling from his boyfriend. He checks the area and when he confirms there’s no one around, he drapes himself over Hyunjin, caging him from behind. “Don’t cry, baby.” 

“I didn’t know it would be this hard to deal with.” The way his voice breaks hurts Jisung and it hits him again just how much he cares about this boy. 

“I know, sweetie. But, we can do this, yeah?” 

“I don’t wanna let him treat you that way.” Hyunjin sniffs.

“Remember what I said in your room? Don’t fight with your dad, Hyuni. I’m gonna be okay. Your relationship with your family is important, yeah? Don’t let a silly boyfriend ruin that.” 

Hyunjin turns now, shiny eyes meeting Jisung’s, “Don’t say that. You’re not a silly boyfriend. You mean so much to me and I can’t stand the thought of putting you in a harmful situation. It’s not okay. 

The blonde cups his boyfriend’s face, “okay, I’m sorry. But I want you to know that it’s okay. I’m okay. So let’s take a breath and go back in?” Hyunjin nods as Jisung wipes his tears, “come on, I'll buy you some candy.” A giggle is all Jisung gets in return before they’re walking to the convenience store at the end of the street. They’re greeted by a pretty girl who smiles brightly and let’s them know that she’ll help them with ANYTHING they need. Jisung takes Hyunjin to the back of the small store and takes his hand, giggling, “who's gonna tell her that you’re gay?” 

Hyunjin smiles, “I think she was actually eyeing you, baby.”

“No way.” Jisung laughs, “now pick your candy before I change my mind.” 

“Can I have milk too?” He pouts, batting his eyelashes. 

“Of course you can, you weirdo.” 

Hyunjin picks out some gummies while Jisung looks through the chocolate to decide which he feels like eating, not noticing the movement around him until Hyunjin wraps around him from behind and presses two bottles of cold milk against his clothed stomach. “I don’t wanna go back to my parent's house.” 

Jisung picks the chocolate out and places his arms over Hyunjin’s, “why?” 

The dancer nuzzles into Jisung’s neck, tickling him. “Because I won’t be able to cuddle you.” 

The blonde hesitates to admit that he feels the same way. He just knows that if he expresses as much Hyunjin won’t hesitate to take them out of there in minutes. “We cuddle all the time.” 

“Because I like to hold you.” Jisung isn’t sure if Hyunjin does it on purpose but his voice is breathy and deep on his ear and it worsens the blush that those words send to his cheeks. 

“I like it too. Now, come on.” They reach the register and Hyunjin keeps behind Jisung, allowing him to pay without protest. The cashier grins, as she hands the bag to Jisung before turning to Hyunjin, the younger hiding a smirk. 

“Um. You’re Hwang Hyunjin, right?” 

“Yes…?” He inches towards Jisung a little, making him chuckle at being caught ditching his boyfriend. 

“Can I give you my phone number?” 

“Oh- um, actually, that little shit running away is my boyfriend.” Hyunjin points, grabbing at Jisung and making him laugh loud. 

“Oh!! No, isn’t Yeji your sister?” 

Jisung side eyes Hyunjin, scandalized at the idea of Hyunjin having a sibling he’s never heard of. “No! It was just a joke we went along with because everyone thought we were. I haven’t talked to her in a while. But uh- go for it? With her, I mean, approach her. She’s nice.” Hyunjin takes Jisung’s hand, “I gotta go, bye- um.”

“Lia.” 

“Lia! Bye, good luck!” 

“Thanks! Bye!” 

“I told you she didn’t like me.” Hyunjin mocks, opening his milk and accepting a gummy from Jisung. 

“She didn’t like me either, jealous boy.” Jisung takes a drink of his own milk, popping a piece of chocolate into his mouth as Hyunjin scoffs. 

“Jealousy? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that.” 

“Yeah, right!” Hyunjin gasps but doesn’t even try to keep up his denial. They walk slowly and take too many turns, wanting to take a proper breather and finish their snacks peacefully. “I think we’re ready to go back, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

When they step back into the house, Hyunjin’s dad scolds him for his disrespectful behavior and orders that they sit down to eat their dinner. Jisung sits between Hyunjin and his mom, somewhat scared of his dad, although he isn’t going to admit that out loud. 

“I’m sorry for being rude. I let my emotions get the best of me.” Hyunjin offers, his voice soft and expression yielding. 

“It’s alright. I went too far, yeah? Let’s just put it behind us. Come on, eat.” 

Jisung loves the happy smile Hyunjin gains when his dad speaks, hanging back as the youngest while Hyunjin reaches for the dishes placed in front of them. Needless to say, he’s surprised when Hyunjin places the food on his plate, filling it with grilled meat, rice, and veggies. Hyunjin’s mom seems to notice Jisung’s confusion, laughing as he pats his shoulder, “you’re the guest, Jisung-ah, you eat first.” 

Even so, he feels too weird to eat first, choosing instead to watch everyone serve themselves. It works out fine until nobody takes a bite of their food, surely waiting for Jisung to start. 

Hyunjin’s dad chuckles, “go on, I’m starving.” 

Somehow the go-ahead from the scary man helps ease a bit of Jisung’s discomfort and he nods, taking a polite bite. Maybe he’s overly aware of the fact that he shouldn’t stuff his cheeks in his front of his boyfriend’s family. Hyunjin smiles, taking his own bite after his parents. 

“This is delicious, Mrs. Hwang.” Jisung means it. He’s really trying hard not to just put as much into his mouth at a time as possible. 

“Eat as much as you’d like!” 

And everything’s okay. Well, for the most part, Hyunjin’s dad doesn’t exactly let up on his homophobic comments and directs them mostly at Jisung, focused majorly on how small and cute Jisung is. Talking a lot about how he’s the pretty type and that it just doesn’t make sense because Hyunjin's quite pretty and “how does that work?” and he really doesn’t stop. Even as they finish their meal and Hyunjin’s mom serves them ice cream and berries for dessert, Hyunjin’s dad keeps slipping offensive jokes and comments as they talk. 

“So you study music?” 

“Uh, no, I do music as a job.” 

“A company actually signed you?” 

Jisung smiles, “We actually do it all on our own.”

“Oh,” Another mean laugh, “I thought you were actual musicians.” 

“They are.” Hyunjin cuts in, “They’re amazing.” Jisung meets his smile, feeling warmth at his boyfriend’s insistence on defending him. Hyunjin turns back to his dad, “and on that note, we’re going to bed. Do you have plans for us tomorrow?” 

The man regards them for a moment before nodding curtly. “Yes, wake up early and dress warm.” 

They nod, picking up their dishes and taking them into the kitchen to wash them quickly before running up the stairs and into Hyunjin’s room, Jisung being pulled into it before he can protest. Hyunjin wraps him in a hug immediately, holding him tightly as if they were saying a grand goodbye. “I want you to sleep here.” Hyunjin whines, swaying them more aggressively than necessary for the soft moment they’re supposed to be having. 

“Come on, let’s not get in trouble. Let’s change and I'll go to the guest room like a good boy.” Jisung really doesn’t want to go either but he needs to be responsible for the two of them. He fears Hyunjin’s dad way too much to risk it so he takes his (Hyunjin's) clothes and changes quickly, loving the dreamy look Hyunjin always gets when he wears his clothes. 

“You’re so cute.” 

And just like every other time, Jisung feels light with the knowledge that Hyunjin sees him the way he does. “You’re pretty.” Of course, he means it. The tall boy with his long hair that hangs in his eyes, pouty lips, flushed cheeks, and lithe frame that gets lost in his comfortable clothing. He’s a vision in every moment and that will never not be true. 

“Come here.” Hyunjin’s voice is so soft and sweet, making Jisung’s heart swell with emotion. He takes the older boy's hands, letting Hyunjin pull him close as they stare into each other's eyes. “Sleep well, okay?” 

“Okay. You too, do your best to sleep.” Jisung recently learned that Hyunjin can’t sleep without him either. He has nightmares that now involve losing Jisung or him getting hurt in some way and when Hyunjin wakes up in tears, Jisung is there to make it all better. But tonight, they’ll have to make do without each other. “If one of us urgently needs the other, let’s say fuck it and just go into the other’s room, yeah?” 

“Let’s do that now.” 

“Babe.” Jisung groans. 

Hyunjin giggles, “just kidding.” He presses a kiss to Jisung’s lips, lingering as he presses into the smaller boy. He pecks him a few times as he pulls away and the blonde giggles. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Jisung barely gets out, Hyunjin’s lips still pressing chaste kisses against his own. 

“I love you so much.” 

“You’re being dramatic.” 

“Okay, goodnight. Sleep well, angel.” 

“You too, baby.” And Jisung is almost out the door when Hyunjin presses a kiss to his cheek, pushing him all the way out and closing the door immediately afterwards. He chuckles, rushing to the guest room Hyunjin had indicated, closing the door quietly behind him. He slumps against it. He hates this part. He usually loves to be alone but during the day and at night are different. In a comfortable place and in his boyfriend’s parents' house with a scary dad are different. He sighs, looking at the room that’s equipped with only necessities; a bed, a lamp atop a bedside table, and a dresser. There’s a bookshelf but the only books in there are educational. Jisung makes his way to the bed, sliding in quietly, feeling like he shouldn’t disturb the neat bed more than absolutely necessary.

So, he lies there, staring at the white ceiling with his head full of thoughts. Although, the strongest are from Hyunjin's dad's words. Each jab hit a deep-seeded insecurity created after years of prejudice and hate. He’s been doing his best all night to tough it out but now that he’s alone, Jisung can feel the crushing weight of negativity. He takes a huge breath that seems to push all the tears to his waterline, letting them spill out so hard that his stomach hurts. He feels lucky that he’s mastered quiet crying at this point because he’s sure that everyone would easily wake up if he let the sobs that threatened his voice come out in full. He just feels like he can never live up to what Hyunjin deserves. Only one day at his family’s house and Hyunjin already fought with his dad and cried outside. Jisung can’t help wondering if things would be different if he was a big guy. Someone tough and tall. Someone who looks like he can hold his own and really be there for Hyunjin. 

Not a short, cutesy boy with trauma from a past relationship that he’s still taking time to heal from. He still has so much fear, especially now that he tells Hyunjin he loves him and he means it so much more than he wishes he did. He doesn’t know why but the warmth he gets is always accompanied by dread and helplessness. His heart races and he wouldn’t trade his relationship for anything but he can’t help the worry that one day Hyunjin will realize that he deserves someone better and stronger than him and this will end and Jisung will be more broken and scared than the day Wooyoung left him. And maybe he’s picturing it in too much detail but he can imagine exactly how that would happen and he doesn’t even realize his tears have gotten worse until his eyes start burning and his throat dries too much for him to be completely quiet. He knows he needs to get it together. It’s late and he’s crying with his boyfriend’s parents only a door away and he doesn’t want to give them another reason to wish for someone else for their son. 

Someone better. 

Someone stronger. 

Someone who can give him happiness and not strain his relationship with his parents. It hurts. It hurts. He can’t breathe well and he can’t see with his vision blurred by tears and he wants to get up but he isn’t calm enough to be quiet so he curls himself up as much as possible and closes his eyes, wishing the tears and pain away but it won’t work. If anything, it keeps growing. He wonders if he’ll be okay and he’s doing everything in his power to keep quiet and he’s so focused on calming his mind and heart that when he feels a gentle touch on his leg he jumps, nearly hitting his head and muffling his scream with the hand he was keeping pressed into his mouth. He meets Hyunjin’s wide, tearful eyes, and more tears come pouring out of Jisung’s own eyes. 

“You scared me.” He chokes out quietly, a forced whisper in the quiet room. 

“I’m sorry baby, I just heard your sniffles and I needed to check on you. I didn’t mean to scare you.” The older boy slowly moves to the empty side of the bed, in front of Jisung’s curled up body. He sits on the bed, reaching his hand out to the small boy, “come here, angel.” 

So, he does. He pushes himself upright enough to crawl into Hyunjin’s lap, spreading out and laying completely on top of him. He hugs him closely, clutching the back of his shirt and nuzzling into him, allowing for himself to be pulled up so that they’re laying chest to chest, Jisung nuzzling into Hyunjin’s neck. “I’m sorry.” He can feel how drastically he’s calming down now that the older boy is comforting him.

“Don’t be sorry.” 

“I should be able to do this on my own.” 

Hyunjin hums, “you can do it on your own. You know you can. I don’t do this for you, I just help you. And there’s nothing wrong with getting a little help.” He kisses the side of Jisung’s head, “what’s wrong?” 

“It just overwhelmed me. There was a lot that happened today and that, coupled with my existing worries and being without you, got to me. I needed to let it out.” He isn’t lying. He just chooses to leave out the fact that he feels that Hyunjin will one day move on to someone better. They aren’t at a stage in their relationship to be promising each other forever. He’s happy having right now. “Are you gonna stay? Tonight?” 

“Yeah, Sungie. I’m gonna stay.” Hyunjin chuckles and it’s like the tension that shrouds the room stars to clear up a bit. “Thirsty?” Jisung just nods. “Let’s get you some water, cutie.” 

“’kay.” He sits up, letting Hyunjin pick him up and take him into the kitchen where he’s sat on the counter and waits as his boyfriend fills a glass with cool water slowly and almost silently. He hands Jisung the glass, “thank you.” His heart races at the way Hyunjin cages him in, standing in front of his knees and placing his arms on either side of Jisung’s body as he drinks the water in large gulps. Their more intimate moments are still new to Jisung and he becomes hyper-aware of Hyunjin. He smiles, happily receiving the kiss Hyunjin presses to his lips. Jisung takes a page from Hyunjin’s book and starts kissing all over his face, little pecks to his cheeks and nose and cute mole as his boyfriend giggles and takes the glass from him, setting it a safe distance away as Jisung continues kissing his face. “I love you.”

“I love you too, pretty boy.” Hyunjin kisses his lips again. “Ready for tomorrow?”

“If I say no, can we skip it?” Jisung grins, appealing to his boyfriend playfully. 

It brings a pretty smile out of the older boy so Jisung counts that as a win. “Nope. Now come on, let’s go to sleep.” 

“Carry me.” 

“You big baby.” Hyunjin grumbles, but he still takes Jisung into his arms and carries him off the counter and up the stairs to cuddle him in Hyunjin’s room. “Let’s sleep now.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, cutie.”

“I love you so much.” 

“I love you even more.” 

He’s glad he left his phone in the other room. It’s been going off incessantly all night, but for tonight, he doesn’t care about the problems outside of the little world he and Hyunjin have built for themselves. He knows there’s more trouble ahead of them and tomorrow is likely to be as bad as today, but he has Hyunjin right now and that’s all that truly matters to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not over yet!!! 
> 
> They have a lot of ways to go to grow and many obstacles to over come. 
> 
> My love for this fic goes in and out and I can't thank you enough for sticking around and waiting so long for me. And for commenting and encouraging me. I love you, you're awesome.
> 
> I hope you're doing well and staying safe. ♡♡♡
> 
> Follow my twt for AUs? @/sungiegoose


	19. like before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “you gotta be quiet, hyung is gonna yell at us.” 
> 
> “you mean hyungs are gonna yell at us.” 
> 
> “You’re not helping your case.” 
> 
> “Who said I was trying to?” 
> 
> \---
> 
> domestic fluff for the soul, a hint of angst for the heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh hi? I'm sorry! I really...at first I was busy with life but then everything happened and additional personal things happened and here we are...but I miss this story and I hope there are people out there who still miss it too
> 
> I didn't wanna upload such a short chapter but I couldn't leave you hanging anymore, I'll do my best to update short chapters at least twice a month. I'm also about to edit the shit outta this story:D will be replaced with Matthew just go with it pls ajsjalks
> 
> If you're still here, please let me know?
> 
> Thank you...just thank you. ♡

“I can’t sleep.”

“Baby, you need to settle down in order to sleep.” 

Jisung huffs, toying with Hyunjin’s hand that had been intertwined with his own before he became restless. He can’t help it, they just got back from Hyunjin's family home and he feels really good now that he's out of that environment and alone with Hyunjin. “I’m calm.” 

He feels the chuckle his boyfriend lets out more than he hears it, “making my fingers dance and asking for a kiss every few seconds isn’t calm.” 

Jisung sticks his tongue out at Hyunjin, “I just like kissing you.” 

“I like kissing you too, honey. But you really need to sleep. I know you don’t do well without sleep.” 

The blonde sits up, gasping in mock offence, “how dare you?” He doesn’t think he’ll ever admit that this is just an excuse to look at Hyunjin again. 

“You know it’s true, the last time we slept so little, we wound up sleeping through the day.” Hyunjin opens his arms, “now come back, I miss you.” 

It feels good to be with someone who will say he misses Jisung just because they aren’t cuddling despite being in the same bed. He smirks, “oooo, sounds like someone likes meeeee.” He sing-songs, wiggling his eyebrows annoyingly. 

“Only a little.” And before Jisung can even think of something witty to say in response, Hyunjin pulls him into a sweet kiss, lingering with an intimate pressure that causes a swarm of butterflies to erupt in his stomach. When they pull away, Jisung steals another before he settles back on Hyunjin's chest. “You comfy, baby?” 

“Yeah.” 

There’s only a moment of silence before Hyunjin speaks again, “I wanna bleach my hair blonde.” 

Jisung gasps, sitting up abruptly and nearly knocking his head into Hyunjin's chin, “yes!” 

“Shhh, Sungie, you’re gonna wake Lino.” Hyunjin smiles though, brushing some hair from Jisung’s face with a feather-light touch, “you really think I should do it?”

Jisung nods, “it would look so so pretty, baby. I’m already dying from imagining it.” He wishes they could go NOW and bleach it NOW. Then he remembers– “I’ve been wanting to dye mine brown.”

Hyunjin’s mouth drops open a bit before his lips pull up in a beautiful smile. The one that makes Jisung's heart skip. Then again, all of Hyunjin’s smiles do that to him. “I need to see that.” 

“Let’s do it together!!” Jisung grins, bouncing slightly on Hyunjin. 

“Baby!” Hyunjin laughs, putting his arms on Jisung’s shoulders to still him, rubbing at the skin exposed by his giant shirt. “you gotta be quiet, hyung is gonna yell at us.” 

Jisung grins, “you mean hyungs are gonna yell at us.” 

“You’re not helping your case.” 

“Who said I was trying to?” 

“Why do you not want to sleep? You always wanna sleep.” Hyunjin pouts and caresses Jisung’s cheek, the other hand moving to hold the back of his head and the blonde completely melts. 

“I’m just excited to have you to myself.” And he can practically see the way Hyunjin's heart races, the boy blushing darkly and smiling brightly, bringing Jisung into a firm hug. 

“I love you.” It’s whispered right into the blonde's ear, quiet and gentle.

He nuzzles into Hyunjin happily, “I love you too.” 

“You’re my angel.” 

Jisung giggles softly, “You’re my sunshine.” 

Hyunjin pulls back, starry eyes brimming, “really?”

“Really.” 

Then he gets pulled into a fierce but chaste kiss, all love and fondness, soft at all edges. Hyunjin pulls away first, “let's sleep before I eat you.”

Jisung smirks, “or you could eat me.”

Hyunjin laughs loud and pushes Jisung away, “get out, you lost bed privileges.” He lays down and turns over, leaving the small boy between his back and the wall. Of course, he knows this is all an act, part of the games they play. So, he settles behind Hyunjin, slipping an arm under his waist and throwing the other over him to completely wrap him in a tight embrace. He kisses Hyunjin’s shoulder, finally relaxing as he presses entirely against his boyfriend. 

“Goodnight, precious.” All he gets is a mumbled hum and he knows Hyunjin is already easing into dream land. He follows closely after. 

“This does NOT look like the right place.” 

They’re standing in front of what Hyunjin claims is a high end, hard to book, hair stylist’s shop. Jisung teased him but Hyunjin insisted that he’s friends with the owner, met him in high school through their families. He isn’t sure what he’s been expecting this entire time but when they arrive to a shop that looks more like a house with a chalkboard sign, with “Yoon Can Do It!” written neatly with pink chalk, he can’t help but snort. 

“You’ll see.” Hyunjin glares, walking in without even waiting for Jisung to follow. 

“Rude, not even holding my hand-"

“Hyunjinnie!!!” Jisung’s head snaps up as his sulking is interrupted by a bright voice and he finds that a very tall, pretty boy is hugging Hyunjin tightly, swaying them. Now, Jisung doesn’t get jealous easily. He knows Hyunjin loves him very much. But when he sees this boy, brunette with blonde bangs hanging in his eyes, pursed lips, engulfing his boyfriend in a playful embrace, he has to admit he isn’t fond of the sight. He’s suddenly hyper-aware of his tiny figure and how comfy Hyunjin looks against someone bigger than him. 

He doesn’t really know what to do with himself, lingering awkwardly and looking around, anywhere but at his boyfriend. The chatter from the two other boys drowns out as he takes in the shop. It’s modern, all sleek white framed mirrors and countertops with black, cushioned chairs pushed under them. Pops of color on the walls and on the pillows sitting atop a comfy-looking couch centered between the rows of stations. Maybe he feels just slightly inadequate when Hyunjin knows a beautiful boy as successful as this. He pouts, staring and feeling the sinking in his gut grow. He feels left out as the two friends chat. Like before. Like with Wooyoung. They’re laughing and joking and Jisung’s just standing there, the odd one out. Maybe he won’t be introduced properly. Maybe he’ll become “my friend Jisung". Like before. The feeling spreads, his heavy heart rooting him to the spot as he keeps his eyes off the gorgeous boys in front of him. He hates this feeling. He hasn’t felt this with Hyunjin before. And he knows he’s not the same but old habits die hard and before he can realize it, tears are stinging his eyes. He wants to leave. Maybe he can slip out and just wait for the text saying “thanks, sorry about that I just got caught up". Like before.

He’s so caught up that when arms wrap around him he jumps before registering Hyunjin’s comforting scent. Jisung sighs, nuzzling into his chest and letting himself be completely surrounded by the warmth of his boyfriend. There’s a whisper at his ear, “I’m so sorry, baby. I left my little prince out, didn’t I?” Jisung just nods, stifling a sniffle and wrapping his arms around Hyunjin’s waist. “I didn’t forget you, I promise. Let me show you off, okay?” Another weak nod. He doesn’t exactly trust his voice right now. 

Hyunjin pulls away enough to look Jisung in the eye with the softest gaze and a pretty smile. He wipes the tears that have yet to fall and holds his cheeks, “kiss?” the blonde mutters wetly. 

Then Jisung flushes, finally remembering that they’re in public and this is his first impression on Hyunjin’s friend. Great. But it’s like Hyunjin reads his mind because he says, “he went to the back, he just thinks you zoned out.” Another nod. Then Hyunjin leans in and gives him the most comforting kiss he has ever received. All love and gentle pressure, chaste and long-lasting. “I’m so in love with you.” 

Maybe it’s the weight of those words or the way his voice dropped a few octaves but it sets off a fire inside Jisung as he leans up to press another kiss to Hyunjin’s lips. “I’m even more in love with you.” 

Hyunjin squeezes Jisung tightly then releases him, fixing his hair that got ruffled from their hug. “Let’s introduce you now, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

Like perfect timing, the tall boy bounds in happily with materials crowding his arms. Jisung jumps when he drops them at a station haphazardly then turns back to them. “Hi! I’m Sanha! Yoon Sanha!” 

Jisung returns the excited smile. “I’m Jisung! Han Jisung!” 

Recognition flashed through Sanha's features before he bounces on his toes. He really is endearing. Like a giant bunny. “I’ve heard so much about you! Ever since he met you at the dance studio, did you know?”

Jisung’s heart skips while Hyunjin groans, dropping his head to bury his face into the crook of Jisung’s neck. “Stop exposing meeee.” 

“Like he doesn’t know how obsessed you are with him?” Sanha scoffs, gesturing at Jisung like his boyfriend is being completely ridiculous. “He was right though, you really are so pretty, it’s insane.” 

Maybe he blushes hotly. At those words, the fact that Hyunjin said that, and the way his boyfriend wraps his arms around his waist protectively and looks up to say, “back off, he’s mine,” before pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

“Ohhhh, so you’re a jealous boyfriend?” Sanha smirks, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Jisung snorts, “you have no idea.”

Sanha cackles, throwing his head back with his mouth open wide. Hyunjin whines, “hey! It’s not that bad!” 

“It’s pretty bad, babe.” Jisung teases, poking Hyunjin’s cheek the best he can with the dancer wrapped around him. 

“Can’t blame him,” his laughing died down, the stylist beginning to adjust all the items he had thrown on his station, “you're so pretty, anyone would hold on tight.” 

While Jisung blushes bright red, Hyunjin somehow pulls him tighter, “if I knew you’d be hitting on my boyfriend, then I'd have switched hair stylists.” 

“Whatever!” Sanha pats the chair in front of him, “Jinnie, sit here.” 

“Can I keep Jisung on my lap?” 

“Of course not!” With that, Hyunjin giggles and releases Jisung, presses three deep kisses to his lips before settling in the chair. Sanha pats his head then moves over to the chair at the station beside it, “come sit here, Jisung-ah.” So he does, plopping himself down and laughing at the tiny bounce he makes. The stylist groans, “he’s really cute, Jinnie. Just give him to me.” 

Hyunjin gasps, his eyebrows scrunching to accentuate the pure disgust in his eyes, “first of all, that would be his choice, not mine. Second…no.” He smiles sweetly, “okay come do my hair now, I have plans later.” 

Jisung cocks his head, “what plans do you have?” 

Sanha's mixing something in a bowl that Jisung assumes is bleach, if the strong smell and his watering eyes are anything to go by. Hyunjin watches that instead of turning to Jisung, “cuddling you.” The stylist chokes on a laugh, muttering a not-so-quiet ‘cheesy' before pulling Hyunjin to sit up and combing through his hair. It’s really long now, almost reaching his shoulders and silky to the touch. Sanha separates it and begins gradually coating the dark strands with paste, wrapping each small section with aluminum foil after he deems it properly covered. It takes longer than Jisung originally guessed but he can’t be bothered when he gets to openly stare at his boyfriend under the pretense of watching the bleaching process. 

It’s at times like these that it really hits Jisung that Hyunjin is his boyfriend. This beautiful, talented, angelic boy is all his. Not only that, but he loves Jisung and does everything in his power to show him that. He’ll never stop feeling lucky. He really loves Hyunjin, he’s sweet and kind and sensitive and there’s so much to learn about him and Jisung finds that he really does want to know everything there is to know about Hyunjin. Maybe he should tell Hyunjin that Wooyoung's been texting him nonstop. In fact, it was so excessive that he actually answered Wooyoung to get him to stop and ended up having endless emotional baggage dumped on him. 

But to tell Hyunjin that is to tell him about the abuse he experienced and he’s still a bit scared to do that. 

“You’re staring, pretty baby.”

He isn’t sure if it’s because of the growing dread but Hyunjin’s voice somehow sounds five times sweeter and softer than usual. He blinks a few times to refocus his eyes, meeting his boyfriend’s own sparkly pair. “hmm?” 

“You’re staring at me, baby.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry, silly. Where’d you go?”

“I was just thinking about how pretty you are. And how much I love you.” 

Hyunjin doesn’t get a chance to respond before Sanha makes a loud gagging noise, even keeling over in his dramatics. “You guys disgust me.” He folds the last foil on Hyunjin’s head. “I have NEVER seen Jinnie like this, wow.” His booming voices rings in Jisung's ears as he realizes how quiet they were being. “He’s never babied anyone this much, he’s usually the one being spoiled.” 

Hyunjin shrugged, grinning at Jisung’s blushing cheeks. “He’s my precious baby.” 

Jisung pouts, “now I wanna kiss you.” 

“Do it, coward.” 

“Nah.” Hyunjin gasps and Sanha bursts into laughter from where he's placing the cape over Jisung’s shoulders. 

“You’re fake.” 

“The bleach smells strongly!! My eyes are sensitive!! I’ll kiss you laterrrrr.” 

He pouts, slouching in his chair and looking down, “I don’t want it anymore.” 

“Bet?”

Just like that, Hyunjin’s eyes widen and he sits up straight, “no!” 

“Okay, lovebirds, cut it out. I need Jisung to sit still so I don’t fuck up his hair.” There are giggles but they stop playing so much, Jisung zones out bad with the help of Hyunjin propping his phone up in front of the younger boy with national geographic playing. This one is about bees and Jisung’s horrified to learn that they have five eyes, when the narrator states so, he gasps and turns to Hyunjin only to be met by an overwhelmingly fond smile. He turns back quickly because the narrator is now talking about the way bees determine roles in the hive and he’s always been curious about that. By the time the documentary ends, Sanha's taking him over to the washing station to rinse out his dye and Hyunjin’s on his second round of bleach. Jisung’s hair is now blow-dried and styled, it looks fluffy and the soft brown really makes him look a lot younger. 

“Jisung.”

He turns to his boyfriend, who has not stopped staring since the dye had been rinsed out. “Yes?” 

“You’re so beautiful.” And there’s no humor in his voice, he’s completely serious, and it startles a blush onto Jisung’s cheeks. 

“You look so different with brown hair, it makes you softer.” Sanha fluffs his hair a bit, “cute.” He removes the apron and Jisung stands with a huge stretch, his shirt lifting slightly to expose his stomach. “You have abs?!” then to Hyunjin, “this tiny thing has abs?!” 

Hyunjin giggles, “sometimes.” 

“Hey!” 

“What? It’s true?” Then Hyunjin smiles big and toothy, “let's make them go away by eating tteokbokki!”

“Is that you asking me to go pick some up?” Jisung teases, walking over to Hyunjin and lacing their fingers. 

“I can order it?” The offer is genuine. 

“No, I wanna walk.” His legs are stiff and achy from sitting for so long. 

“Be safe.” 

“Duh.” Jisung holds his breath and leans down to press a soft kiss to Hyunjin’s lips, peppering more on his cheeks before parting with one more peck. “I love you.”

He hears Hyunjin’s response as he slips out the door, “I love you more!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you're doing well and I hope this chapter was okay. I hope my story can be a happy relief from the world.
> 
> I'll see you soon, I promise ♡


	20. A/N CHANSBABYSTAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chansbabystay is now sungiegoose :)))

hey everyone im sorry this isn't a real update just a heads up that i changed my username to match my twitter @!! i wanted to announce it here so you won't be confused 🥺 thank you so much for the overwhelming support and i'll be back soon with another chapter of fluff and pain!! ily!! ♡♡


	21. baby im sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey guys- EW FUCK.”
> 
> “Was that Felix?”
> 
> “Yeah, I think it was.”
> 
> \----
> 
> hairstyle changes always bring up so many emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slides chapter across table* hi please accept this
> 
> I was busy with my au that I hardly kept up with and maybe a secret project that will be unveiled soon hehe. 
> 
> But! I am officially making a comeback! I have pulled together my thoughts and plans for this fic and I'll be updating much more frequently, so I really hope you're still reading 🥺
> 
> Please enjoy!!!

It isn’t until Jisung tries whipping his phone out to place a mobile order for pick up that he realizes he left his phone in the salon. Oh well, he shrugs, it’s not like it matters. Hyunjin’s the only customer there and he probably already noticed that Jisung's forgetful ass left the phone sitting who knows where. He takes in nature instead- or, well, if the many skyscrapers and the occasional sidewalk decoration tree counts as nature. 

The walk isn’t long or arduous, nothing dramatic like that. The day is a bit warmer than usual and Jisung relishes in the ability to simply stroll leisurely without worrying about his nose freezing off. When he gets to the hole-in-the-wall tteokbokki shop, he rejoices in the small line that greets him. 

“Hi! How can I help you?” The cashier is a boy around his age with a helpful nametag labeling him as ‘Eric'

“Hi! Can, I please get the um…well, what do you recommend for three people to share?” 

“Three? I guess, the number two? Feeds four, technically but the next closest option feeds two so…” 

Jisung beams, “that’ll be great! Let’s do that, please!”

Eric nods, punching in the order with a small smile, “a name for the order?”

“Oh! It’s Jisung.”

Eric hums, “cute name.” 

Huh? “thanks! So, I just wait over there?” he points off to the corner that looks like a make-shift waiting area, four flimsy chairs crowded around a tiny table that holds too many magazines and a solitary bowl of mints. 

“Yup, right after you pay.” 

“Oh!” Jisung laughs, “right, yeah. Here.” He hands his card over with no hesitation and shifts his weight while the system processes his payment. 

“Thank you!” his card and a receipt are handed right back to him, “it’ll be right out.” 

“Thanks!” 

He stuffs the items into his pocket without a second thought and lets himself drift off into thought. He wishes they would revolve around himself or his music more but he can mostly think of Hyunjin. His pretty boyfriend with the long hair he’s currently bleaching blonde and his cute eyes and that breathtaking smile. Not to mention, his kind heart and pure soul. He’s an actual angel, Jisung thinks. An understanding angel. Someone who deserves to know why Jisung so intensely rejected his love after that one nightmare. Why them becoming boyfriends was and still is a struggle for Jisung. He deserves to know it all. And he’ll understand, too, Jisung knows it. 

So, why does the idea still scare him?

Probably because it means he’ll be more vulnerable in front of him than he ever considered before. Maybe he’s still scared of this all blowing up in his face and then he’ll be left confused and hurt and he’ll never believe in love again-

“Jisung? Order for Jisung?”

Eric is staring straight at him, holding the bag containing his food out in front of him. 

Embarrassing.

“Sorry, sorta zoned out there.”

“No problem,” Jisung takes the food without looking the cashier in the eye, “have a good day!”

“Thanks, you too.” 

He doesn’t think he’s ever walked out of somewhere faster. And he doesn’t slow down until he’s got the salon in sight and realizes he’s a panting, sweaty mess. So, he prolongs the walk towards it and runs his fingers through his hair in an attempt to tame it as he catches his breath. He doesn’t think he’s super successful but maybe he can blame his obviously pink cheeks on the weather outside or the length of his walk. Either way, he feels more composed by the time he reaches the shop and smiles when he sees his boyfriend getting his now bright blonde hair dried. 

“Hi, baby.” Jisung greets, setting the food down at the clean station he had been sat in earlier. 

“Hi. How does it look?” Hyunjin's doing his best to sound composed, he can tell, but the nerves sneak their way into his words anyway.

Jisung stands in front of him, ignoring Sanha's protests as he lifts his chin to get a better look at his face. “You look beautiful.” And he really does. The blonde compliments his skin tone perfectly, brings out his natural blush and makes his eyes appear just that much more striking. Jisung believes that beauty like this just shouldn’t possibly exist in real life. 

Pink cheeks and shiny eyes. Gorgeous. “Thank you…” 

Jisung grins, stroking his cheek with his thumb for a moment before releasing him completely and letting Sanha get back to work. He chooses to watch from one of the couches, enjoying the way Hyunjin would giggle every time they met eyes and Jisung would make weird faces at him through the mirror. When they’re done, the blonde stretches and Jisung laughs at the loud cracks he can hear from his poor joints. He’s quickly silenced, however, when Hyunjin drops himself heavily on top of the smaller boy and takes all the air out of him.

“Ow! Get off me, you heathen!”

“Bold words for someone who forgot their phone.”

“That’s completely unrelated.”

Hyunjin gasps, still doing his best to crush Jisung. It’s not really working. “No, it’s not!”

“Yeah it is,” he pokes the blonde's side, “that was weak, babe. Where did I go wrong? Do I not bully you enough?” 

“Oh, I think you bully me more than enough, actually.” It’s only at this point that Jisung realizes that Hyunjin's smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Is he tired? Maybe just too hungry? He stores that away in the back of his mind, something to ask about when they’re finally alone again. For now, he settles for trying to give comfort in the more subtle ways. He wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and places a kiss on the tip of his nose, not sure what to make of just how shiny his eyes get. 

“You hungry, my love?”

Hyunjin just hums in confirmation, toying with the collar of Jisung's shirt before placing a kiss on his cheek and moving to sit beside him. The rest of their meal, Hyunjin hardly looks at Jisung, hardly talks to him. He remains focused on Sanha and they joke a lot, having fun as they eat. Jisung doesn’t say much. He doesn’t eat much either. In fact, he zones out. Even as they say goodbye and make their way back to Hyunjin’s apartment, he zones out. Dulling the anxiety caused by his boyfriend’s odd behavior and the way he doesn’t hold his hand as they walk. 

No one says anything until they’re alone in Hyunjin’s room. Jisung’s losing it. 

“You left your phone behind, I picked it up and kept it for you.” Hyunjin fishes it out of his pocket and holds it like it burns. 

“Uh, oka-" 

“You got a lot of texts.” His tone is clipped, tense. Bingo. 

“Okay? Who were they-" 

“Wooyoung.” 

There are several beats of silence as Jisung digests this information and watches Hyunjin who's slowly unraveling from his forced composure. Dread settles deep in his stomach and guilt piles itself onto it before fear tops it all off, making him feel terribly sick to his stomach. He should’ve told Hyunjin. Jisung meets his boyfriend’s eyes, “what did it read?” 

Tears. Slowly, heavy tears begin rolling down his face now. “He was thanking you for giving him a second chance.” 

That bitch. “What the fuck?” He can’t help the irritated reply that escapes him, “that’s not what it’s like, baby, you gotta believe me, please.” 

Hyunjin shrugs, “then what’s it about, Sungie?” he sniffles, wiping angrily at his tears, “explain it to me because I really can’t think of any other meaning for it.” He’s almost yelling and Jisung wishes he had his shit together enough to at least not cry but his vision is already blurring. 

“He was harassing me, like he always does after we run into each other and he decides he wants me again. And I was so tired of all the different numbers coming up in my phone so I replied to get him to fuck off-"

“If that were true he wouldn’t be thanking you-"

“Just listen, please. Listen to me. Please. I’m telling you the truth and when I’m done, you can check our messages, I promise.” Jisung takes a breath, trying to at least calm his own crying before he continues. “When I responded and told him off, he left me alone for a while. Then one night he had sent me a message about how he had no one left and didn’t know what do and I don’t know- he’s a fucking abusive asshole but I couldn’t leave him alone. I don’t even know why because fuck knows he doesn’t deserve any kindness from me. But I don’t know, in a way it felt good to know that he’s falling apart and desperate for attention while I’m happy with a boyfriend who loves me. It was like that, I guess. Something about it was satisfying, I didn’t even comfort him I just read all his bullshit and gave basic “gee, that sucks" responses and I haven’t even spoken to him in a few days but I guess he really thinks we’re friends now but I swear, Hyunjin, we’re not.” He wants to cry. He wants to scream and sob and break down. But he can’t. He needs Hyunjin to understand and to hear the truth from him. So he stands, approaching Hyunjin as slowly as possible and taking one of his hands, “I love you. I love you so much. And I know I should’ve told you the same second that I even thought of replying but I was scared. I knew that for you to understand that there’s no risk of me even being tempted to go back, I would need to tell you everything. I wasn’t ready yet. Well- until today, ironically.” 

The blonde is still crying but he’s holding Jisung’s hands too, so he takes that as a small victory. “What do you mean?” 

“Hyunjin, I told you he was mean, right?” A silent nod. “And that he hurt me?” Another. “Baby, he did it on purpose. He abused me. He hurt me mentally and physically. And it wasn’t just once.” 

Silence.

It takes Jisung a moment to register that he’s being hugged but as soon as it sets in, he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around his boyfriend as tightly as possible. “You don’t have to tell me.” Hyunjin’s still crying, if his broken voice is anything to go by. Jisung tightens his hold and nuzzles into him before pulling away enough to look at him. 

“I want to. And I owe it to you.” Jisung leads them to the bed, just sitting at the edge and keeping some distance between them in case Hyunjin hasn’t decided where they stand yet. And he begins. Not in detail, he’s not prepared or in the right mental space for that right now. But, more or less, he fills Hyunjin in on what that relationship was like for him and the reason he has so much fear surrounding romantic love. He’s proud, too, because he doesn’t cry once. He gets through the way he was embarrassed for laughing too loud and how he was gaslighted into believing that he was making things up and being ungrateful every time an issue would arise. He even told Hyunjin about the times he was hit without breaking down. And when he’s done, he feels calm. “So yeah…there’s that. And uh, if you want, here-" he places his phone in Hyunjin's hand- “you can check for yourself. 0320.” 

The blonde stares at the device in his hand for a few seconds before diverting his gaze back to Jisung, “no.” it comes out scratchy and weak, he clears his throat, “I trust you. I’m sorry. I just saw that and it felt like all the other times with all those other people and I just…panicked. I don’t think you would actually do that to me…I think that’s why I was so hurt and confused in the first place.” He tosses Jisung's phone somewhere further up the bed, only checking that he didn’t throw it off before locking eyes with Jisung and reaching his hands out for him, “this is the part where we hug and make up.” 

“Really?” He can’t help feeling a bit shocked over how simple this was. How Hyunjin let him explain and believes him. 

“Yeah. I’m sorry that I jumped to conclusions and accused you of something like that. I was just acting on my feelings- nothing else.” Hyunjin strokes Jisung’s cheek and he's quick to nuzzle into the warm touch. 

“I’m sorry too, you felt that way because I didn’t tell you what was going on. I’m sorry I hurt you.” Jisung reaches out too, pulling Hyunjin in and smiling at the way he folds himself into Jisung. He’s all long limbs and lithe muscle, fitting himself on Jisung's lap comfortably. The blonde just grips Jisung’s shirt as he wraps his arms around him, “you must’ve felt terrible. I’m sorry, love.” He presses kisses to the top of Hyunjin's head, rubbing soothing circles on his back. 

“It’s okay, baby. I know you had your reasons. I understand now.” 

“I love you so much.” 

Hyunjin grins and pushes Jisung to lay back on the bed, jumping on top of him and crushing him for the second time that day. “I love you more!” 

“Ow! Get o-" Jisung’s shouting cut off when Hyunjin props himself up slightly and stares down at him with an indiscernible expression on his face. “what?” Why is Jisung suddenly whispering? He isn’t sure but it doesn’t feel right to be loud right now. 

Hyunjin blinks a few times, then leans in to kiss Jisung sweetly. He focuses on the warmth of his boyfriend and how comforting the pressure of their lips moving against each other feels. Hyunjin sighs, and Jisung swears he can feel the exact moment the blonde lets himself completely relax against him. Slowly, carefully, he lowers himself so that he’s lying flush against Jisung. They kiss like that for a while, with Hyunjin deepening the kiss until they’re basically just licking into each other's mouths. Even so, it remains slow and soft, just pure love and affection. 

“Hey guys- EW FUCK.” Jisung’s pretty sure they only pull apart once the door is slammed on them. 

“Was that Felix?”

“Yeah, I think it was.”

“Should we go?”

“Probably.” 

Jisung sighs, holding Hyunjin to himself more tightly, “I don’t wanna.” 

“Me neither,” the blonde leans up to give Jisung one more lingering kiss, “come on.” But while he tries to stand, Jisung clings to him with his arms and legs wrapped around Hyunjin's body so that he immediately flops right back down before he can even begin to get off the bed. “Release me!”

“Never!” He grips Hyunjin's shirt and buries his face in Hyunjin’s neck, blowing a raspberry in his nape and making him let out the prettiest giggles, high-pitched and loud. Jisung finds himself grinning against his skin, accidentally tickling him more. 

“Hey! Stop!” Hyunjin laughs, pushing himself up so suddenly that Jisung doesn’t have time to latch on so he ends up falling back onto the bed as his boyfriend stands up and adjusts his clothing. “Up, baby. We traumatized Lixie, let’s at least check what he needs.” 

Jisung groans with all his force just to be annoying and lets himself be pulled up, Hyunjin begins to straighten out his shirt then moves on to patting down his hair. A smile spread across his face, scrunching his eyes, “thank you, love.”

“By the way...” He cups Jisung's face, stroking both his cheeks. “An ‘Eric' left his number on the receipt, specifically for ‘cute Jisung'…now I stand by the fact that you're not an object but-" he tightens his hold and his voice drops into something deeper, more intimate- “you're mine.” And Jisung is so ready to have the life kissed out of him but Hyunjin only leaves a tiny peck on his nose before pulling him completely off the bed.

Jisung gets one more kiss before they head out the door. Just because he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that good?
> 
> Are you still reading?
> 
> How are you?
> 
> I'm sorry you had to wait so long but if you're still here please know that I have no words to describe how thankful I am. 
> 
> I hope you're doing well and I love you ♡♡
> 
> My twt is @sungiegoose if you're interested 🥰


	22. i missed you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you enjoy living, Han?” 
> 
> “That’s a tricky one.” 
> 
> “Oh, so you wanna test your mortality then?” 
> 
> “Maybe.” 
> 
> \---
> 
> a new plan and some much needed catching up on love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi~ took a while...i was a mess ajslaks. i really hope you enjoy this chapter!! thank you so much for reading and waiting patiently for me!! ♡♡ 
> 
> \---
> 
> Reminder that this is pure fiction and only for fun!! None of this reflects the people who inspired these characters nor my opinions of them. :))

The living room is much brighter than it needs to be when they leave the room and a quick scan reveals to Jisung that all their friends have gathered here. Seungmin and Jeongin are sitting on the couch, hands held between them while Minho and Chan are sitting next to them, Chan’s arm around Minho’s shoulders. Felix and Changbin are standing across from them, leaning against the wall and playing with each other's hands. 

“What, we’re having a family meeting and nobody bothered to tell me?” Jisung jokes, the itch to break the strange silence too intense to ignore. Nobody says anything as he takes a seat on the armrest of the couch and pulls Hyunjin to half lean/ half sit on his lap. “Is this an intervention? Babe, did you know about this?” 

Hyunjin giggles that precious, delighted giggle of his and shakes his head softly. 

Felix chimes in, “I wanna do something fun together.” 

Jisung holds Hyunjin closer, arms wrapped tightly around his waist, “like what?” 

“Let’s go on a road trip.” 

When nobody says anything, Jisung pouts, “did you all already agree to this without us?”

Seungmin laughs, “not on purpose, we talked about it in the group chat neither of you decided to grace with your acknowledgement.”

Jisung scoffs as Hyunjin leans back further, resting his head on Jisung’s shoulder. “So, where will we go?”

This time, it’s Jeongin who speaks up for the first time since Jisung and Hyunjin joined them. “I suggested we go to Busan? My mom has a friend who does like, air BNB rentals, she can get us a big discount for a house at the beach.”

Jisung whistles, “that’s so sexy of you, Innie.”

He shouts at the slap Hyunjin lands on his arm and tightens them both around his boyfriend’s waist. “You can’t flirt with Innie. You also can’t-" Hyunjin turns so his mouth is right by Jisung’s ear- “WHISTLE RIGHT IN MY EAR!” 

Jisung’s just about to turn and do something that’s absolutely not appropriate in a semi-public setting but he’s rudely interrupted by Chan clearing his throat noisily. “You guys have all night to flirt, let’s at least finish this discussion." 

“Right, right, yes. Business stuff. So, Busan? When? We all work and go to school- sometimes.” Well, they go to school. 

Seungmin scoffs, “correction: _you guys_ go to school sometimes. I go to school more than I sleep.”

“Seungmo, I can’t be held responsible for your poor decision making.” Jisung shrugs, feeling a small victory at the way Hyunjin cackles at his statement. 

“Do you enjoy living, Han?” 

“That’s a tricky one.” 

“Oh, so you wanna test your mortality then?” 

“Maybe.” 

“I swear to-"

“Shush! Oh my god! You’re like toddlers fighting over the last cookie at lunch time.” 

Hyunjin perks up, “do we have cookies?” 

Minho sighs, “no, I ate the last one yesterday.”

“You traitor-"

“STOP!!” All heads snap to Jeongin, who shot up from his spot on the couch and looks ready to fight them at any given moment. “This is why we get nothing done like this, but no, you fuckers decide to never answer your phones!” 

Jisung feels bad, he does, but he also hates being accused of things one-sidedly. “Hyunjin and I were fighting, that’s why we didn’t answer. We’re fine now, it was a misunderstanding, but cut us some slack.” 

“Oh.” Jeongin clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “My bad.”

Jisung waves him off, tightening his hold on Hyunjin because the fight still feels too fresh. “No worries. We’re all being annoying as hell anyway. So, when are we doing this?” 

Just like that, everyone settles down and the plan is laid out before them. It’s simple, or it seems to be. Winter break is coming up- which means big tests and overwhelming stress. The idea is that everyone will save up as much as possible from their jobs to pay for travel and meals, and whatever else they may want to buy on their trip. Which means no indulgent spending leading up to then. Hyunjin whines a lot when, a couple weeks later, Jisung emphasizes that this means they can’t go on dates as often as they’d actually like to.

“One date a week?” Hyunjin's been trying to negotiate his terms for a while now, Jisung thinks it’s actually been about half an hour but he hasn’t checked. Not that he truly cares, he’s got his boyfriend sitting cutely on his lap, knees caging his hips and hands thoughtlessly toying with the lettering on Jisung’s shirt. 

“No, baby. We can’t.” The responding pout makes Jisung tighten his grip on Hyunjin's waist, too enamored by how precious this boy can be. “We can spend time together, just can’t spend money.”

“But we haven’t been spending time together…and I wanna buy you things.” 

“Don’t you wanna go on vacation?” Jisung questions, pulling at Hyunjin's hair to twirl it around his own finger. It’s longer now, still soft in spite of the bleach damage, and terrible for Jisung’s weak heart. 

“Yeah…” Hyunjin slouches, leaning forward until his forehead rests on Jisung’s shoulder. “I don’t wanna go to work tonight.” 

Jisung’s heart pulls at that, he also doesn’t want Hyunjin to go into work tonight. “I know, my love. But you gotta if you want that week off.” He runs his hands along Hyunjin's back, feeling his boyfriend go slack against him with a sigh. 

It’s been like this recently, Hyunjin letting himself be taken care of, and Jisung’s more than happy to be there for him. He’s grateful that his boyfriend trusts him enough to be vulnerable and sulky and pout about trivial things as if the world is ending. He gets comfortable on Jisung’s lap and lets himself be comforted and it feels like they bond with each instance. It’s nothing terribly deep, Jisung knows this, but it’s another piece of Hyunjin that’s gone from new to familiar and that's more important than anything. 

“Come with me.” Jisung struggles to hear the words spoken into his shirt. 

“You know I can’t, Hyuni. I'll drop you off and pick you up, okay? But I gotta work on some songs tonight.” He drops a kiss on Hyunjin’s temple, “no partying for me.” He’s been falling behind on his music due to the extra shifts he’s picked up recently and Chan finally had enough of it, even demanding a solo song by the end of the week. 

“Can you walk me in?” Jisung frowns. Hyunjin sounds almost scared to go into work tonight and it’s just not like him. This isn’t the usual whiny hesitance and playful complaining, this is genuine. 

“Love, be honest, are you feeling okay? Is there something going on at work?” 

Hyunjin sits up enough to look Jisung in the eye, “I just wanna be close to you today. I don’t wanna leave.” 

They really haven’t been spending as much time together lately, mostly catching up in the breaks between Hyunjin's classes or during their shifts at work. When they meet, it’s usually with tired eyes and sleepy greetings before falling into their dreams while wrapping tightly around each other. One of them is always gone before the other wakes up the next morning, for either class or work, respectively. Today is the first day in nearly two weeks that they’ve been able to properly spend time together and it’s a bit frustrating to think that it’s only going to last a couple hours. Needless to say, they’ve been doing nothing but talking and exchanging soft acts of affection since Jisung got to Hyunjin's apartment. 

“I don’t want you to leave, either.” He cups Hyunjin's cheek, stroking the soft skin gently. 

“What if I said I’m sick?” Like an overgrown puppy, he jumps right onto his opportunity. 

“Would that affect you?” Jisung doesn’t want to encourage anything that could set his boyfriend back in any way. “What about Busan?”

Hyunjin chews on his bottom lip, seemingly in thought. “I won’t get in trouble if I can find someone to pick up my shift?” He sits up a bit straighter, “I won’t get paid which is no fun but it also means it won’t affect the days set aside for Busan.” 

Jisung pauses, internally very eager to keep Hyunjin for himself tonight. “Are you sure?”

The blonde nods, “yes.” 

“This is what you wanna do?”

This gets a laugh out of him, “I’m the one who came up with this idea, remember?”

Jisung laughs too, “okay, love. Sort it out and come home with me, all my equipment’s at my place.” He doesn’t expect the kiss that Hyunjin gives him, firm and sweet, a smile pressed against his own. 

“I love you.” 

Jisung’s the luckiest person on earth. “I love you more.” He gives Hyunjin another peck, “go on, call who need to.” 

He shouldn’t be surprised when Hyunjin doesn’t even bother to get out of his lap, instead making his calls and negotiating all while making eye contact with Jisung and tracing his facial features. Jisung’s not complaining, especially since he gets to leave little kisses all over his boyfriend’s face and watch as he tries to maintain his composure as he holds professional conversations. He’s a bit in awe at the fact that the first person he calls easily agrees to replace him- the call seriously only lasts a few minutes. Jisung’s jaw is dropped and Hyunjin giggles after hanging up, he leaves a teasing kiss at the corner of his lips before dialing what Jisung assumes is his boss' number. 

Hyunjin leans in closer to Jisung, wrapping his free arm around Jisung’s neck. “Hello? Yes…it’s me, Hyunjin…I’m very sick, I can’t come in today…yes, Bomin agreed to replace me…of course, thank you, bye.” He grins, dropping his phone and fully relaxing into Jisung. “Now, love me.” 

Jisung smiles, feeling the love he has for Hyunjin in his chest. He wraps his arms around his boyfriend to pull him even closer, “I do love you. More than anything. But, we gotta go. So, gimme kiss then let’s get you some clothes because you’re sleeping over.” 

Hyunjin kisses him slowly, a lingering touch that goes on much longer than Jisung originally intended and becomes several lazy kisses filled with longing. Like Hyunjin’s telling Jisung how much he misses him through their kisses. 

It takes a bit longer to get out of there than planned. 

Even so, they leave without Hyunjin taking clothes to change into because he insists that it’s only right that he gets to steal Jisung’s clothes too, for once. Jisung wishes him luck with finding pants to fit him and then smacks Hyunjin's arm when he says that he doesn’t need pants at all. They drive to Jisung’s apartment with Jisung giggling and singing along to Hyunjin’s playlist, his boyfriend has always had amazing taste in music. It isn’t too late yet, but it is dark outside and all the streetlights guide their way. Jisung likes drives like this; quiet and dreamy with the way the lights break the darkness. He feels happy like this. Comfortable.

At Jisung’s apartment, he sets up on the floor, his laptop and sound mixer sat in front of him and headphones covering his ear. He really thought that Hyunjin would whine about not getting attention but the elder has been comfortably sitting with his chest pressed against Jisung’s back, legs flanking him and one arm wrapped around his waist. Jisung figures he's using his other arm to play on his phone as some sort of entertainment, he can’t be sure since all he hears is his music. Every now and then, he can feel Hyunjin peppering a few kisses along his shoulders. He likes it; being so blanketed in love as he works. 

Jisung’s almost done mastering one of his solos when the ringing of Hyunjin's phone cuts through his headphones. He’s just curious, he reasons, as he pauses his music and subtly adjusts his headphones so that the right side no longer fully cups his ear. 

“Hello?” Hyunjin sounds so cute when he greets someone over the phone.

His boyfriend is still leaning against his back, meaning the phone is close enough for Jisung to hear the person on the other line, too. (He keeps telling Hyunjin to turn the in-call volume down, it’s bad for his hearing.) “Hyunjin!” 

“Hey, Innie.” 

“Why are you picking up the phone? I thought you worked tonight.” 

Hyunjin snorts, Jisung can feel him adjusting against his back. “Why’d you call me, then?” 

“Because I wanna hang out with you.” 

“Oh.” The hand at Jisung’s stomach pats him then takes hold of his shirt, scrunching it in his fist. “When?”

“Now, bitch- the fuck?” 

Hyunjin laughs loud, “that was so vulgar for you, chill man.” He sits up a little and Jisung pouts at the absence of his warmth. “I can’t tonight.”

“So you are working?” 

“Uh- no, I called in. Fake sick.” 

“Oh good! You need a break, every now and then. But why can’t you? Don’t tell me you’re with Jisungie hyung again.” 

Jisung has to physically stop himself from turning around in offense. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Hyunjin scoffs, sounding offended himself. 

“Nothing- hey, I’m not insulting him. I just feel like you spend too much time together.” 

“Innie, you sneak Seungmin into your room every night so your parents don’t know he sleeps there so often.” 

“I do not-"

“He told me. Plus- I haven’t spent proper time with him in over a week. When we meet each other lately, we sleep. And really- I don’t need to defend the time I spend with my boyfriend.” Jisung only feels slightly bad about the smile his boyfriend's anger brings to his lips. 

“I’m sorry-"

“No, seriously, fuck off with that. Where did that even come from? I’ve been seeing you way more than I see him lately.” 

“Yeah, okay. Look, I just felt like you guys need space from each other. Like maybe it isn’t healthy to be with each other so much.” 

“After all this time you suddenly have a problem? You get how ridiculous you sound, right?”

“Okay, shit, Minho hyung put me up to it. There, happy?” 

What?

“Why would hyung do that?” 

There’s a big sigh. “He misses you guys. Like- individually. He misses Jisung and their movie nights and shit. And he misses you and the way you’d ask him to cuddle you when you were sad after watching dramas.” Jisung softens. He can feel Hyunjin melt too, the older boy slouching into him again. 

“You could just say that- you know what? Hyung should just tell us himself. I know it’s not his aesthetic or whatever but come on, we just fought for no reason.”

There's a beat of silence. “…yeah.” 

“Did you actually wanna hang out or was that a part of your cover?”

Another pause. “Uh- well, Seungmin's coming over soon.” 

“Oh, no, don’t worry. I’m at Jisung’s.”

“Hey- fuck you!” 

Hyunjin’s beautiful laugh rings through the apartment, “talk later?”

“Yeah, bye.”

“Bye!”

Jisung can hear Hyunjin set his phone on the floor before he wraps both arms around him and pulls him back so that Jisung’s the one leaning on Hyunjin. It knocks Jisung’s headphones off and he lets out an involuntary squeal. “Babe!”

“I know you were listening~” Hyunjin sing-songs, pressing his smile to Jisung’s head.

“What do you mean?”

Jisung’s heart still jumps at his boyfriend's precious giggle. “You kept tensing up every time Jeongin said something messed up.” 

“Oops.” He laughs, letting Hyunjin support his weight fully. “Sorry, I was just curious about who was calling you but then I got mad and had to make sure Innie doesn’t secretly hate me.” 

Hyunjin hums and takes one of Jisung’s hands, intertwining their fingers. “What should we do?”

“We wait. We’re going on the trip soon, maybe he’ll tell us then?” 

“I feel bad pretending not to know.” 

Jisung nods, “me too. Should we ask him about it?” 

“Tomorrow when you drop me off?” 

Jisung smirks teasingly, “so now I’m dropping you off?” 

“Baby, please.” He can hear the pout in Hyunjin’s voice and doesn’t bother suppressing his coo.

“Okay, yes.” He really can’t say no to Hyunjin. “We’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

“Great! So can we cuddle now?” 

Jisung fakes irritation, “have we not been cuddling for the past couple hours? Are there new standards for cuddling that I didn’t hear about?” 

“Do you know about the standards for being annoying?”

“I think I’m quite familiar-"

“Well, you should be. The first rule is to be Han Jisung.” 

Jisung gasps and pulls himself away from his cackling boyfriend. “Are you saying I’m the only annoying person on the planet?”

“No, of course not.” Hyunjin pets Jisung’s head like he does when he finds Jisung cute. “I’m saying you’re the _most_ annoying person in the universe.” 

“Can’t be when I’m looking at someone more annoying than me.” Jisung teases, letting out a shout when Hyunjin pretends to tackle him. He lands beside his equipment, his head pillowed by Hyunjin’s hand so that he doesn’t actually get hurt. “Ooo, this is so sexy of you.” Jisung swoons dramatically. 

Hyunjin scrunches his nose and pushes off Jisung to lay on the floor beside him instead, “shut up, you’re such a little shit.” 

Jisung smiles, rolling over and getting back to finalizing his song with new ideas fresh on his mind. Hyunjin settles on top of him, and even though Jisung complains about being crushed, his weight and warmth is comforting. 

“Hey, Jisung?” 

Jisung groans exaggeratedly, although he doesn’t actually mind the way Hyunjin's soft voice cuts through the instrumental he’s had on repeat for the past ten minutes. “Yeah, baby?” he pauses the track, slipping his headphones half off. 

“Should we invite Minho hyung over?”

Jisung smiles, heart swelling at how caring and full of love Hyunjin is. “If you wanna. It’ll probably be more fun for you, since I’m busy.” 

“You know I don’t mind that, I just-" Hyunjin cuts off, clearly troubled by Jisung’s phrasing. 

“Oh! No, baby, don’t worry. I think it’s a good idea. Go ahead, one more person to cuddle me as I work.” He grins, turning his head enough to press a small kiss on Hyunjin’s cheek. 

Hyunjin sits up properly and Jisung keeps working on his lyrics as he chats away with Minho. As time passes, it seems that those two only grow closer, their dynamic shifting into a very loving and playful relationship. Jisung loves that, as only children, it seems that his boyfriend and his best friend have found a brother in each other. Hyunjin gets up and runs into the kitchen, where he stays for a long while, so Jisung assumes that Minho’s on his way over and his boyfriend is excitedly preparing snacks for him. Endlessly cute. 

Minho comes in with a bright smile on his face and a huge black hoodie hanging off him. Hyunjin jumps on him immediately, having pounced over to him with airplane arms, and Minho catches him easily. The dancers hit each other with a solid thud and cute giggles. “Hyung!!” 

“Hi, lovely.” They stay at the door for a bit before Minho nudges Hyunjin a bit, “you gonna let me go inside?”

Hyunjin nods, dragging himself along as Minho walks in and stares at Jisung for a beat before he and Hyunjin share a look then collapse on top of the smallest boy. “Ow! This time I’m seriously being crushed guys!” He tries squirming about but the boys on top of him hardly even move. “This is so rude! Why do you hate me?”

Hyunjin rolls off first, taking Jisung’s hand in his to left. Minho doesn’t necessarily roll off, he more so slides himself so that he’s half on Jisung, his leg hooked over Jisung’s body and left arm reaching to hold Hyunjin’s free hand. Jisung hums, dangerously comfortable sandwiched between his favorite people. He sends his new files off to Chan in the hopes that he’s worked enough tonight, leaving everything open just in case as he relaxes onto the floor. 

“What’d you do today, hyung?” 

“Worked, went to the studio for a while to practice. I was gonna hang out with Channie but he said something about needing to work on music and last minute uploads because a certain brat's been neglecting his duties.” 

“Hey! I have not! I’ve just been busy.” Jisung pouts, “I picked up a lot of extra shifts to go on our trip comfortably.” _And to buy Hyunjin whatever he wants._

Minho laughs, ruffling Jisung’s hair fondly. “I know, baby.” 

Hyunjin whines, “I’m baby.” 

“You’re both my babies.” Minho smiles, squeezing Hyunjin’s hand. 

Jisung’s phone goes off and he grins at the text from Chan telling him he did a great job and giving him the rest of the night off. He saves and backs up all open projects before shutting everything down. “I’m free!” Then he turns to Minho, “feed me.” 

“Are you serious? Don’t you have food here?” 

“I want pizza.” He pouts, batting his eyelashes in what he knows is an adorable expression. “Please?”

Minho rolls his eyes and groans from deep within his chest, “you better hope they’re still delivering.” 

“It’s only nine!” Jisung yells after him as he gets up and walks into the other room to make the order in a quiet place of the apartment. He shrugs at the middle finger thrown his way and slouches back onto the floor. Hyunjin laughs and grabs him by the arms. 

“Come on, couch time. The floor is bad for your back.” 

Jisung goes willingly but doesn’t miss his chance to sass the blonde, “what do you know? You’re not a chiropractor.” 

Hyunjin snorts and braces his shin against Jisung’s back instead of letting him fall back into his lap, hands sliding down to take hold of his wrists. If he pulls, Jisung’s back either pops or breaks. “Yes I am, wanna see?” he isn’t pulling or hurting, just trapping Jisung effectively. This realization very quickly removes all the fun in this situation for Jisung.

“Hyunjin, I don’t like it.” His voice comes out a bit too quiet and whiny, almost like he’s still playing.

“Hm? What was that?” Hyunjin sing-songs, swaying Jisung a bit in his hold.

Jisung finds his voice, assuring himself that it’s okay to not like it. “Jinnie, please stop.” 

Immediately, he’s swept into Hyunjin’s arms, wrapped up tightly. “I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He sounds on the verge of tears and it feels like he’s trying to cover up every part of Jisung with his arms as he cradles him on his lap.

He sighs, letting himself be comforted by his fussing boyfriend, smiling at the gentle pets on his hair and the kisses on his cheeks. “It’s okay. Thank you, for stopping.” 

This makes Hyunjin stop, leading Jisung to meet his eyes. “I won’t ever purposely do something you don’t like.” 

Jisung just nods, pouting up at him. 

“You want a kiss?” Jisung rolls his eyes which gets a laugh out of Hyunjin. “Brat.” But he still shifts to cup Jisung’s cheeks and brings their lips together in a sweet kiss. He pulls back only a few seconds later, “can I ask why you hated that so much?” 

Jisung nods, heart racing in a much less enjoyable way all of a sudden. “Uh- yeah. Well. Wooyoung used to grab me like that to keep me from getting away from him. Especially if I was upset but even if I was only gonna go say hi to someone else- like Minho.” Jisung sighs, resting his face in the crook of Hyunjin’s neck, “felt too similar.” He nuzzles against his boyfriend’s skin and sighs. He’s safe. “I love you.” 

Hyunjin’s arms tighten, “I love you more.” 

“Hey! Let me join, this is discrimination!” Minho shouts and Jisung scoots over so that he’s only half on Hyunjin’s lap, letting Minho take up the other half. Hyunjin wraps his arms around each of them and squeezes. 

“I missed you, hyung.” Hyunjin mumbles, looking between the two boys on his lap.

“I missed you too, Hyunjinnie. And you, Jisungie.” Minho reaches to intertwine their fingers.

“Me too, hyung.” 

He falls asleep before the pizza arrives and it’s the first thing Minho says to him the next morning. Looking around to find himself wrapped up between Minho and Hyunjin (who are reaching across Jisung and holding onto each other tightly as well), he decides he wouldn’t change a thing. Even if Minho swears he’ll never buy him another pizza for as long as they live and Hyunjin keeps whining about his back aching. 

He’s happy. And he can’t wait until their trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe.
> 
> Kinda filler??
> 
> More like a build up chapter. Last climax is coming up soon!! The story may...end soon...? Well "soon" as in- in a couple chapters..? 
> 
> Follow me on twt @sungiegoose for updates on my writing, twt aus, and occasional nonsense!! 
> 
> See you again, sooner I hope! Bye bye!!
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments?


	23. HIATUS NOTICE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a hard decision to make but I hope you'll read my message and understand. Thank you ♡

Hi everyone, I’m sorry to come to you with this news but I have decided that I will be putting Sunshine on an indefinite hiatus. I love this story very much but I did begin writing it at a time during which I was getting back into creative writing and when going back and reading some parts, I realized that this fic is far from representing the writer I am today. I will be making major revisions to this story and will edit it here on AO3 for everyone to see once I have finished revising the entire story thus far. From there, I will then finish writing this story as I originally intended. 

As it is right now, I just don’t feel right to continue writing chapters when I’m so unhappy with the rest of the story. This process will be long and may take me a while to finally be happy with the story, I will not be changing the story as a whole, just revising plot points, dialogue, and perhaps some important events as well. 

This took a lot of debating with myself but it feels like the right decision for me. I hope you’ll support me and continue waiting for me as I take this on. Please look forward to seeing an improved version of Sunshine and please wait for me. In this time, I will be working on other projects as well. New things that I’m very excited for and I hope you’ll like them too. 

For updates on this process as well as social media/texting AUs please follow me on twitter @sungiegoose! 

Thank you for everything and I hope you’re doing well. 

I'll see you soon- outside of Sunshine. 

—Sam♡


End file.
